My first House MD fanfic so be nice :D

Disclaimer: I don't own House MD, because if I did, Cameron and House would be together a long time ago.

Cameron's POV

Italics are Cameron's thoughts.

Chapter 1

"I won't let this get to me, I can just keep trying, he'll see, that in the end, he might be able to love me back too," Cameron said this out loud accidentally, with a hint of optimism in her voice, but inside, her heart was breaking under the strain. She knew it was hopeless, how could House ever grow to love her?

" Cameron?" The voice came from Wilson.

Oh no, how long has he been here?

" Hey Wilson, how long have you been here?"

" About two minutes, are you okay? Maybe you should talk to someone about this."

" I'm okay, I was just thinking aloud." I tried to smile to reassure him, but how can someone smile when they know the one they love will never love them back? Wilson still looked skeptical.

" Cameron, you do know that House has feelings for you, he's just afraid to get hurt."

Can this be true? House, afraid? This couldn't be the Gregory House.

" Ummm… sure, I have to get back to work now, see you later Wilson."

X x X x X x X

I didn't believe him for a second, House, the sarcastic stubborn, and incompetent House would never be able to love me. He told me so, and who was I going to believe, House or Wilson? A nagging voice came from inside my head responded 'Wilson'.

I was currently in the comfort of my home and it was about 8'ish. Nobody else but me is here again. I let out a sigh, it's been so long.

I then remembered I had some paperwork to finish inside my purse, it was due tomorrow! Oh no! What am I going to do? They were important documents! Maybe I can go to the hospital early and finish it up tomorrow. Thinking these last few words, I suddenly remembered something from 7th grade.

"Allison, do you have your homework."

Simultaneously everybody else in the class replied, " Of course she did, it's Allison."

X x X x X x X

Everybody always expected me to be perfect. But I'm not perfect and I never will be. I was expected to always act optimistic, and I suppose everybody assumed I never had a care in the world, but this couldn't be father from the truth. At that time, a thought struck my mind, being a reasonable person, I tried to come up with an incentive of why they would think this way. Being naïve as I was, I thought that it was a ploy to make my life miserable. (I suppose I was being dramatic) It just felt better to think that way.

That's when the cutting started, once I grew up, I knew it was pointless. Why was I doing this to myself? There were many times when I tried to stop, but the cutting helped, it helped ease my emotional pain.

Today was no exception; I was filled with pain, not about my dead husband, but about House. This is the second time! Why must I lose everybody I love? It just isn't fair!

Putting aside the important documents, I decided to go ease my pain. A grim smile crept upon my face. How could I say it was 'easing my pain'?

Assured of the fact that nobody else was here beside me for so long, I knew it was safe from friends, family, or even doctors. I plopped myself on the couch in front of the TV, taking out a razor. I slowly pulled up my knee-lengthed skirt gently, to reveal my thighs. Full of past cutting marks. They were telltales of the pain I felt.

I chose a suitable spot and slowly inched the razor closer to my thighs. I put the razor against my flesh and pushed it gradually inwards. Little trickles of blood ran down my legs. It felt good, concentrating more on my physical pain, thoughts of House disappeared from my mentality. I decided the pain wasn't enough, I needed to push it in harder. Just as I austerely pushed it once more, the door flung open, revealing a shocked House.

I was dumbfounded, What in the world was House doing at my house? Coming to my senses, I quickly hid the razor and pulled down my skirt. But deep inside, I knew that he had seen it all, Before I had started cutting myself this evening, I felt a presence at the door. To my surprise, the window curtains were open, revealing a full view of my cutting.

I was in shock, unable to move. Then I felt horribly dizzy, maybe it was the lost of blood, but I knew I was about to faint. Just before my eyes closed, I looked at the door once more to see House dashing my way.

…

Author's Note: How do you guys like the story so far? R&R please:D