You never knew just how much you missed someone, not until you were apart from them for a long time.
"Hatori….it's so good to see you again." said Mob as she held Hatori in the tightest hug that she had ever given him in her life. A friend hug. He was still cute, his hair was longer now and that made him even cuter, and he still smelled good…and he was still really tall…but this was just a friend hug. She hadn't seen him in so long…so very long….
A hug was needed.
"Mob, hey. What's up?" asked Hatori as Mob attempted to squeeze him like a tube of toothpaste. He felt like he was an almost empty tube of toothpaste and she was trying to squeeze out the last little bits of toothpaste from inside of him. Her arms and her aura surrounded him…he really hoped that she was just hugging him because they hadn't seen each other in three and a half months and not because any feelings that she might have had for him had been rekindled.
No, he didn't want that at all.
"I missed you so much…I didn't know how much I'd missed you until I saw you….it's so good to see you." Said Mob as she buried her face in his chest. Hatori was so…he was such a good friend. He was her friend and…and they were never going to be apart again. No. None of her friends were ever leaving her again. From this point on anything they did….they were going to do together. If they had to go somewhere, if even one of them had to go somewhere, then they all went together. No more splitting up for any reason…
Well…unless dad didn't feel like saying sorry for what he did. If that was the case then he could just stay here and she and Hatori and everyone else could go to…Disney World…or Sanrio Puroland since they hadn't been there yet…or…or somewhere!
"Give him some air, Mob." Said Minegishi with a shake of their head. They made their way out of the genkan and over to where they assumed the living room was. In the living room they assumed that there was a couch. They assumed that the couch in the living room was a hell of a lot more comfortable than laying down on the ground.
They needed to lay down.
This had been…a day. Well it was always a day when they were with Mob. This had just been a particularly…busy…day. With Mob dragging them out of the hole that they'd dug for themselves and all. She was a good friend like that….a really good friend…the best friend that they had ever had. That was…good. Intense, too, Mob was…well she had inherited the Suzuki intensity thing. Good thing she was still only twelve.
In a few years she could end up being truly terrifying…thank God she was such a good person.
"Minegishi! Don't try and walk on your own! Your legs are all shaky! Here!" shouted Mob…she needed to start doing less of that…but this was important. Mob had just now gotten Minegishi back and she wasn't going to lose them. They were sick, that much was obvious. The bath that they'd shared hadn't made them any better…which didn't make sense because Mob felt a lot better. Like she had washed all the bad feelings away with the dirt and the plum goo. Well Minegishi…she wasn't sure exactly what was wrong with them. Too many pills, they had said, but Mob…she didn't know how too much medicine could have been bad for them….but Mob wasn't a healer. She didn't know how things worked…but someone did….and that was why she was here, to find that someone….
But first she had to put Minegishi somewhere soft so they could rest and…shake…less.
"What the fuck…what happened to them?" asked Hatori. Minegishi….well they hadn't been steady on their feet, he had been able to tell that much, but he hadn't known that they were about to collapse! This was…not good. Minegishi wasn't the nicest person, and they weren't exactly his best friend for al of eternity, but he didn't want anything to happen to them.
Also they were Mob's best friend for all of eternity and Mob…she didn't need any more shit going wrong in her life.
Hatori had just gotten Suzuki to a good place mentally. He hadn't been planning on having Mob come to him until later, once Suzuki and his girlfriend calmed down on the whole 'fucking all the time' thing. Suzuki was really into his girlfriend right now and…well seeing Mob again might have sent him back to the sadness bubble he'd been in before….and then Hatori would have been back to square one…
Nothing good happened at square one.
"None of your business." Said Minegishi as Mob carried them through the house with her powers. The trip to the couch was a short one and it had one hell of a view too. Apparently Suzuki and Hatori had decided to recreate that documentary where the guy ate nothing but fast food and takeout until his body started to give out. The kitchen, from what they'd managed to glace at, seemed to exist to hold the pizza box and Chinese food container hoard. The living room wasn't much better. Someone had been trying to eat their weight in Doritos, apparently, and in the course of achieving that goal they'd seen fit to wipe their hands all over the couch…
Which Mob then laid them out on.
Minegishi had JUST had a bath…and now they were going to need another one. They could feel the crumbs under their back. They could smell the artificial nacho cheese flavorings. Hell, they could see the orange streaks against the blue of the couch. Great. Just great. They were on their way to a nice stay in withdrawal land…and these were their accommodations…
They had nobody to blame for their predicament but themselves.
"Minegishi needs Fukuda….can you find him for me? Like through his phone or security cameras or something?" asked Mob as she set Minegishi down as carefully as she could.
"I don't have to look for him, I know exactly where he is." Said Hatori
"Where?" asked Mob
"Don't call that asshole…I'm not up to dealing with him right now." Said Minegishi
"I know that you don't like him…nobody but dad likes him…but that doesn't matter now. You need him. I don't want to see him or talk to him or even be in the same room as him but you need him and…and I need you. So, Hatori, where is he?" asked Mob. She sounded like dad there. Good. She had been trying to sound like dad. Dad could be really mean sometimes but…well sometimes you had to be a little bit mean…even to the people you loved the most in the world. Minegishi was still a little shaky. Mob got a houseplant down from the windowsill and put it on the coffee table across from them. That helped a little…but what they really needed was a healer…
Even if that healer was sort of the biggest jerk that Mob had ever met in her entire life.
"He's hiding in Seoul with his friends." Said Hatori. At least that was where Fukuda had been last he checked. Suzuki…well he needed Fukuda back. Suzuki was starting to figure himself out and….well Hatori knew things. He knew a lot of personal things about Fukuda and Suzuki…he knew enough to know that he did NOT want to be a stop on Suzuki's journey of self-discovery.
Nope. That was one hundred percent a Fukuda job.
"He's in Seoul?" asked Mob. That…was a place that dad said that they were never going back to. Fukuda was disobeying dad…he never…well not never. No, it turned out that he was perfectly capable of lying to his best friend, going behind his back, and…and being a jerk. Not only that but he taught Sho how to be a jerk and…and that was the worst. Worse than disobeying dad…worse than lying to his best friend and ruining their friendship….the very worst….
Nobody messed with her little brother.
"He has friends?" laughed Minegishi as best as they could. That was…they must have been high. Yeah, they had at some point gotten high off of…they didn't even know what. Maybe they had taken some of Ryou's mystery pills and now they were hallucinating. That was pretty much the only thing that could make them see and hear things this absurd.
"Yeah, the guy with the fan and his boyfriend." Said Hatori
"Ootsuki and Higashio." Said Mob. She knew them…well she knew of them. They were in the upper echelon. Not as high as the Scars. Nice people, though. Higashio had done the decorations for last year's Halloween party. Ootsuki taught the Awakened origami sometimes…well he used to. They got a lot of papercuts and stuff…so maybe it was best that they didn't have anything sharp. They were nice people, Higashio and Ootsuki. She wondered why they voluntarily spent time with Fukuda.
"Yeah, them. He's been staying there pretty much all summer." Said Hatori
"And Suzuki is letting him live?" asked Minegishi
"No, he doesn't know…he says that he doesn't care. I think that he cares, though, because he pretty much yelled at me when I brought it up. Normally he's pretty bored-" said Hatori
"Fascinating." Said Minegishi
"It's not really that fascinating…not to be mean but I really don't care about how dad feels about Fukuda. I just need to know where he is…and now I know. Thank you." Said Mob. There. Now she just…had to figure out what to do next. She could go to Seoul…well she could take everyone with her. From this point on everything that they did they were going to do together. She'd have to get everyone on a plane and then…well they could do fun stuff in Seoul. She hadn't been there since…before Mukai was born…
This was going to have to be a short trip, she decided.
"Good. Come on, let's get the hell out of here before your dad comes back." Said Minegishi as they pulled themselves into a sitting position. They needed a nice nap…this had been one hell of a day…but there was no time for that. They had to get this shit over with so they could get on with their life…and clean up a lot of messes….
Ryou….was probably not taking this well.
"Mob, hey, can we talk?" asked Hatori
"We're talking right now." Said Mob
"Yeah…we are. Anyway, listen, your dad…he feels really bad about what happened. It's been tearing him up inside and I bet that he'd feel a hell of a lot better if you let him come home." Said Hatori. This was not going according to plan…but he could work with this. He was so close to coming home…well rejoining the group. He didn't care where they went or what they did, they just had to all be together….because he was not going to spend one more minute alone with Suzuki than he had to.
He was a nice guy but…well he was Suzuki. Good in small doses.
"Mob, the way your dad feels is none of your concern. He's a grown man and he made his own choices. Now he has to live with the consequences of his choices…also you have to agree, things are a hell of a lot nicer without him around." Said Minegishi. What the fuck was WRONG with Hatori? Suzuki, coming back? No. Minegishi…they had to go back, Mob wasn't giving them a choice here, but there was no reason for Suzuki to come back.
They could NOT deal with that pile of dorky weirdness right now….or ever.
"I don't want-" said Mob. She didn't want dad to come back…not unless he was sorry. If he was sorry and he promised to never cheat on mom again or have any more kids…or keep anything else from her…and if he told Mukai that she wasn't a mistake then he could come back….even if she didn't want…or maybe she did. She didn't really know what she wanted besides her friends to be there with her…
If dad came back then Hatori would be back.
She wasn't in love with him. She didn't want to hold his hand or kiss him or any of that other stuff….at least not any more than she wanted to do that stuff with most boys. He was one of her only friends and…and there was no way to fill the space that he'd left behind. Sure they had Tsuchiya now so the number of friends she had hadn't changed….but it wasn't the same. Hatori…the house was quiet without him yelling at people while he played videogames with them….and also Serizawa needed a videogame friend since Mob wasn't that into videogames, Sho only liked the ones where people fought and died, and dad…well dad wasn't in the group anymore. She needed Hatori back…
Hatori and dad were a package deal now….that was how it went when you were friends with someone.
"Mob, hey, can you come to the kitchen and show me how to…um…cook?" asked Hatori. He crossed his fingers and prayed to whoever was listening that she took the bait. He was NOT going to let all of his hard work go to waste…well all of his subtle manipulations of his new best friend…he wasn't going back to square one. Suzuki was happy, he had a girlfriend, and he was coming to terms with himself. He had been a hell of a lot nicer…but he'd probably backslide if Mob didn't take him with. Then Hatori would be with him, all alone, and stuck at square one. It had taken all summer to get to square two…or three…or whatever square they were stuck at. He wasn't going back to mopey, sad, Suzuki.
"Uh…ok." Said Mob after she took a short look around the room. She didn't really want to cook anything but it couldn't have been healthy for Hatori and dad to have been eating what looked like nothing but junk food day after day. She was a good friend…and being a good friend meant being there for all of her friends…
Being there included being in the kitchen.
She…well if she was going to be cooking than she was going to clean. She used her powers to pick up all the junk and move it to one side of the room. She wished that more boys knew how to clean. Shibata was the only boy that she had ever met who understood that dirt dishes went in the sink and garbage went in the garbage can. She wondered why boys were so messy. Mom had told her that boys were just like that…but obviously not all boys were like that…
When Mob grew up, if she ever met a boy who liked her and wanted to marry her, she was going to make sure that he knew how to clean up a room.
"Hey, we were trying to see how many of those we could stack until we hit the ceiling." Said Hatori as Mob started cleaning up. She wasn't touching anything…it was amazing how many things she could hold up at once. She didn't drop anything…she didn't even look at what she was doing. She definitely was Suzuki's kid…he'd give her that….
Hopefully that was the only way she took after her dad.
"Why?" asked Mob as she dug around in her bag. If she was going to cook then she needed a drink…not a lot. No, Minegishi was right in the other room and now was not the time to push the whole moderation thing. Mob just…needed to relax. She could feel dad's aura. She had been able to feel it for a while but now it was getting closer. Maybe that was because she was focusing on him. She had a smaller passive range than active one…but it didn't matter if she was passive or active. He was her dad, she had known him for her entire life, and her aura…well her aura had missed him…and maybe she had missed him too…
But that was his fault, not hers.
"Curiosity…or maybe just boredom. You know, it's actually boring as hell hanging out with your dad sometimes." Said Hatori
"I know. Dad can be very boring sometimes…I'm sorry that he took you away with him. You can come back…if he wants to come back…and he's ready to say sorry. I don't care if he comes back or not, he said and did some really terrible-" said Mob
"He's sorry." said Hatori
"Dad told you that he was sorry?" asked Mob
"He…well he hasn't come out and said anything but you know how he is. I know that he's sorry and he misses you." Said Hatori. Appealing to Mob's feelings…that was the thing. She was like Suzuki, they were both pretty damn sensitive, but Mob….well she cared more about other people. He knew that she missed her dad, too, even though Suzuki was…Suzuki. Not having a dad…having a dad one day and not the next…it was hard. Mob…she had to let Suzuki come back. He knew her. She missed him…and she just…she had to let him come back….
Hopefully. Hopefully she would let him come back.
"Well I don't know how he feels unless he tells me….now, what did you want me to show you how to cook? I'm actually not that good. I mean I know how to make a few things, mostly different kinds of curry and omelets, but I can try other stuff." Said Mob as she pulled her metal flask out of her Elsa bag. She opened up the cabinet with her powers and pulled out a cup…it looked clean…vodka could kill germs. She saw that in a movie once…and even if she did end up getting sick it wasn't like she'd be that way for long.
Next stop was Seoul.
She opened the fridge with her powers and pulled out the milk…what was left of the milk. White milk…strawberry was better…but of course there wouldn't have been strawberry milk in the house. Dad hated sweet things. Mob….she wondered why he had milk if he never cooked and mostly drank tea…she wondered….she needed to stop wondering. She needed to get out of here. She needed to make sure that Minegishi got all better. She needed to figure out where everyone was going to go next. She needed….
Before anything she needed a drink.
"Uh…whatever your dad likes." Said Hatori. That…was something that he was going to have to get used to again. Right. Mob was a kid and she drank and…yeah, that was just how she was. He would have drank too if he had been in her shoes. Being twelve sucked, being Mob sucked more, so of course Mob had a reason to drink…though a half and half mixture of whatever that was and milk…well that didn't seem like the best thing...the healthiest thing….
But he wasn't the one in charge of Mob.
"I'll show you how to make an omelet then…but let me finish this first. Sorry….it's just been a big day. Me and Minegishi had a fight and…well that's over now so I shouldn't talk about it. How are you? I haven't asked yet. That's the polite thing to do, I think, to ask." Said Mob
"I'm good. Just a little worried….can I be honest with you?" asked Hatori
"You lie to me sometimes?" asked Mob
"No! No way! I've never once lied to you." Said Hatori. Well he was lying to her right now….but he wasn't lying to her about anything important. That was what mattered. When he lied then he lied for a good reason. Yeah…that was ok. He wasn't a compulsive liar and that…that was fine.
"Ok…but then why did you ask if you could be honest with me? I mean if you're always honest with me then you shouldn't have to ask." Said Mob
"It's just an expression. I just….I'm going to be real with you for a second. Mob….I want to go home." Said Hatori
"But your house burned down. Remember? You can't ever go home again." said Mob
"Yeah….I remember…but that's not what I mean. I meant that…I miss you guys. I miss my friends. Friends." Said Hatori. He was not going to give Mob any ideas that…well that she shouldn't have had. He was not going back to Mob being in love with him. That had been weird as hell. That had been more than weird as hell. He was NOT going to deal with that again…nope.
"We miss you too…well I do. I don't know how Minegishi feels…Shibata misses you though….and also Serizawa. Shimazaki…I think that he just misses picking on you. Sho hasn't said anything but he probably misses you too. Tsuchiya and Mukai don't know you so they can't miss you….but I bet that they'll like you when you meet them. I…I miss you….and maybe dad'll let you come back with me! I mean…probably not…but if Fukuda and him make up-" said Mob
"It would work better if you and your dad made up….I mean…can you try? Just…listen to him and...just listen to him…" said Hatori
"I…I can try….but I can make an omelet first. Let me….let me do that." Said Mob. She opened the fridge with her powers and got the eggs out. The eggs, the last of the milk, some soy sauce, and plenty of ketchup. That was how dad liked it. She knew that she should have been showing Hatori how to do this but she wasn't up to teaching anyone anything right now. His aura was getting close…she could feel it…and he was moving fast….
Too fast.
She didn't know why he was hurrying. She didn't know what he possibly had to hurry up for. What? Was he going to say sorry? Was he going to get down into a kowtow and tell her that he was as sorry as one person could possibly be? She…she didn't know what she was going to say…to say to him. She didn't know what she was going to say if he said that he was sorry…she didn't know what she was going to say if he wasn't sorry…she didn't know what she was going to say if…if….
She didn't even know what the 'if' in this situation was.
Either dad said that he was sorry and she let him join the family again or he said that he wasn't sorry and then he stayed here all alone with Hatori while she and the rest of their family had fun all the time and reminded Mukai every day, a thousand times a day, that she was not a mistake. She…she had no idea how dad could have said something so terrible about someone he had made…she had no idea how he could have just pretended that Mukai wasn't even his kid…how he could have just given her away…how he could have told Fukuda to rip Mukai out of her family….she just…
She could not begin to understand.
She did, however, understand how to make omelets…so that was what she did. She made an omelet….and then another one…and by the time that the second one was all hard and rubbery like dad liked…well she was out of eggs. She was out of eggs and out of time. Dad…his aura was right there. She could see it…she could feel it…he was so close…
The door opened.
Mob reached into her bag and got her flask out. She was going to have to thank Shimazaki again later. This was the best way to keep vodka. If you kept the bottle in your bag then it could break and your favorite bag ended up being filled with broken glass and vodka. That was never fun….but this was fun…or at least it made her feel better. It made her brain slow down..and her thoughts got all evened out. There were so many thoughts in her head…but they were all branching off of the one thought tree. This was either going to…to come down to a yes or a no….
Which was only two things. She could deal with two things.
She could deal with….with what was going to happen. She heard the front door open…and then she heard footsteps. Footsteps and low talking. Dad…she could hear his voice…but she had no idea what he was saying. She had no idea….no idea what he was saying now or going to say…or what he had said. Was he really sorry? Hatori had told her that dad hadn't come out and said it…but dad….but dad didn't always say what he felt. He did feel things, he was just…bad at it. Conceal don't feel….that didn't work. It hadn't worked for Elsa, it hadn't worked for her, and it hadn't worked for dad either.
No matter what he said.
She finished the last of what as in her flask and sat down at the table. There was something uneven about the floor under her feet, like there were little dips and hills, or maybe…maybe she had just had too much too fast. So much for moderation…Minegishi was going to be so mad at her…but they had already been mad at her. They had been as mad at her as they had ever been before…and it had hurt…and it had been scary….but now it was over and…and she had made it through their fight. The first fight, the first real fight, had happened….and she had gotten through that…and if she could get through that then she could get through everything.
Even her dad standing in the doorway staring at her.
He looked…pretty much the same. His hair was a little longer, and his shirt wasn't tucked in, but he was still…he was still dad. She had no idea what she had been expecting. It had just been three months. That hadn't been long enough for…she didn't even know what she had been expecting. Three months wasn't long enough for his hair to turn grey or white…three months hadn't been long enough for him to turn into an old person….three months…it hardly felt like anything at all…
But it had been a while…time…it had been a lot of time…
But now that time was done with. Dad was there…and he was looking at her. He was standing there and staring at her. She stared right back at him. He had to say something…or she had to say something. One of them had to start talking or this was going to get awkward…the atmosphere around them. Mob's aura rested against his…he pulled away from her.
She pulled away from him.
"Hi, dad." Said Mob. There. She had said something. Now it was his turn. He jumped a little, the whole room did, like he was surprised or something…like he had forgotten that she could talk or something. Well she could talk and she had been for a while, she was twelve after all. Even Mukai could talk…not that he cared. She was using more words now and making sure that they all fit together, too. She was getting closer and closer each day to being able to talk just like everyone else. Dad…he didn't care. If he had cared then he would have asked her about Mukai…but he didn't ask her anything.
He just stared at her.
"I made omelets." Said Mob. Dad nodded. He didn't jump that time. Well now he remembered that she could talk….and that she could cook, too. She could cook and she had cooked…just like she had been cooking for years now. That had been…normal. Normal and familiar and…and if dad was nice then…then she would go back to making him omelets every day sometimes three times a day. Things would get back to normal.
"Do you want one?" asked Mob. He nodded. He took a step towards the table…and then another….and another. It was like when Mukai tried on other people's shoes and tried to walk around. She wondered why dad was being like this. He was dad. He was supposed to be…someone other than…the person he was acting like now. She wondered if it would have been ok if she tucked his shirt in for him. That was the weirdest part of all….his shirt was untucked…but she couldn't see it when he sat down.
He smelled weird, though, she couldn't ignore that…but it would have been mean to tell him that he needed a bath.
"You didn't have a lot of ketchup left. I left it all to you, though. Do you want me to draw something for you?" asked Mob. She hadn't done that since she had been a kid...but dad had liked it. It had made him happy, dad happy, which was something close to normal people happy. Dad…she didn't know why she wanted him to be happy….she didn't know why she even cared. He had been mean to Mukai and…and she was on Mukai's side. She was always going to be on her little sister's side and…and she just…she wished that there hadn't been sides. She wished that she had just…that she had just figured out a way for everything to be ok and…and she just….he was her dad ad she loved her dad…but she also loved her sister….and…and she didn't want to fight with anyone…she didn't want to have to go through that again and…
She reached into her bag and pulled out her cigarette case.
"I'm going to smoke now. Do you want one? I have Peace's, the long ones, and also I have these…I forgot what they're called but I got them in America and they taste like mint. I might have some of the crackling kind, too, but not that many." Said Mob. She knew that dad didn't smoke, she was just trying to get him to talk. She just…she needed him to talk already. It wasn't hard. He just had to give her one answer. Yes or no. Yes he was going to be nice or no he was going to keep on being a jerk…yes or no…but there was a whole conversation that they had to have before they got to that point…
There was a whole conversation that she didn't even know how to start.
"I have a joint, too, if you want to share with me. I rolled this kind of tight, though, so be careful not to break it." Said Mob. Dad…was not supposed to smoke. He got so weird when he smoked, and also he always got stoned. He always went right to getting stoned, he never ever stopped at being high, and…and she didn't know if she wanted to deal with that…but at least he would have been talking if he got stoned. She waited for his response, either a yes or a no, but he didn't say anything. He just sat at the table and stared at her.
She decided to smoke a joint.
She held it between her teeth and tried to light it. Her lighter was almost dead…she didn't know why her lighter was almost dead. She hadn't been smoking that much…had she? She had just gotten this…well she had gotten this one back in Tokyo…yeah, it was time to get a new one. Something else that she needed to do. So she had something else to do now…she had to…she would do that on the way to finding Fukuda. She'd go to Seoul, well they all would, and then Minegishi would get better and then…and then she would figure out something for them to do. Maybe they could go to another beach. Mukai liked the beach, she called it big water, even though what she really liked was the sand. She loved throwing sand on people…she was so cute…dad…he wouldn't have liked it if she threw sand on him….
But Mob would never know for sure.
Dad didn't look like he was going to say anything. He was still staring at her. He was staring and…and not even touching his food. That was weird. He was just watching Mob as she tried to light her joint…with this dead lighter. She reached into her bag and dug around…maybe she had another one. She…she couldn't find….but she had to find….she had to….there was a flash of red.
The end of her joint was lit.
"Daughter…Shigeko. Do you have to smoke that?" asked Suzuki. There. He had said something. She had been addressing him, he wasn't deaf, but he had gone temporarily mute. There had just been…so much that needed to be said. The first thing, though, that he had wanted to say was that…well it was two things. Two sentences that had been battling for dominance in his mind. I love you. That had been one thing.
Who do you think you are?
That had been the second sentence. Who did she think she was? She had kicked him out of his own family…and now she was hear. She was…she had changed her mind….and he had no brought her up to be indecisive. He was out of the family, he knew that he was out of the family, but she was here….and she had made him lunch. He wasn't hungry. He and Shiori had eaten earlier….don't think about Shiori…don't mention Shiori….he had to be careful not to mention Shiori….he had to be careful to hold his tongue. He had been mute before….it had been so much easier then. He loved her so much…but….but…
Who the hell did she think she was?
"Yes." said Mob as she exhaled. Dad…seriously?! He thought that the best thing to say to her was to…to hat? Tell her not to smoke? He knew that she smoked, he knew that she needed to smoke, and she did NOT need a lecture about moderation for him. He'd been living here eating nothing but junk food probably having fun all the time with his best friend…while she had been trying to keep her family together. She'd just gotten through the worst fight of her life with her best friend and…and dad just….
Who did he think he was?!
Who did he think he was to be telling her what to do? He was…he was her dad…but he certainly hadn't been acting like one! He'd lied to her, he'd taken her little sister from her, he'd cheated on mom, he'd been a jerk to Mukai…and now he thought that he could talk to her about smoking?! Well he couldn't. Who the h-word did he think that he was!?
She inhaled and exhaled…at him…even though blowing smoke in someone's space was rude.
"Can't you at least smoke a normal cigarette?" asked Suzuki. He…really hated the smell of marijuana. He had been away from it for months…he had forgotten how heavy it was…and how it got into things. She didn't say anything…she just blew smoke at him. She was staring at him and smoking…and he was trying to eat here?! Well…no…he hadn't been eating but…but maybe if he ate then she would stop…but he didn't have to ask her to stop! He was her father, he could command her to stop, and…and Shiori had said so, too. She had told him that as Shigeko's father he had every right to command her…especially after Shigeko had said all the things she said….but…but he couldn't just…command her like that. Like she was one of the Awakened…like she was a child…
She was young but she was not a child.
"No. This is what I'm going to smoke." Said Mob
"But-" said Suzuki
"You know that I smoke, you've even smoked with me, so why do you have a problem with it now? And why do you think that you can tell me what to do? After what you said and what you did-"said Mob
"I am your father!" said Suzuki. The table tried to upend its self…but she caught it. She put it back…not even the plates were disturbed. She put the table back down all the while holding eye and aural contact with him. He shouldn't have raised his voice…he had been wrong to raise his voice…but…but…
He was her father!
He was her father and…and she wasn't a child anymore. She, if anything, was a very small woman. Aside from the fact that she had reached reproductive maturity, something that he didn't want to dwell on, she just…she was not a child. No child was as capable as her. She ran Claw in his absence, she managed their household, and…well she looked like a woman. That was the whole reproductive maturity thing. Did she have to wear such a tight shirt? And did she have to wear so much makeup? And from what he could see, she was sitting down, her skirt was entirely too short. He wanted to tell her to go and put on that oversized sweater she sued to wear…but it was dangerous ground, criticizing a woman's clothing….
And that was what she was now, a woman.
"I'm your father…" said Suzuki. This time he said it more to himself than to her. He was her father. She wasn't his biologically…but she was his. He had signed all the paperwork and paid all the lawyers. She was his child…but she wasn't a child anymore. At some point she had become a woman…at some point she had gone beyond his command…at some point she had become this person. Gone was the little girl who used to run up to him and ask to be picked up…'daddy, pick me up' she used to say….but she would never say that again….
Because of time…and because of what he had done.
"I know that you're my dad. You're Suzuki and I'm Suzuki. I know my own family name." said Mob. She wasn't dumb, she knew that no matter what happened her dad would always be her dad. No matter how much he lied to her, no matter how often he acted like a jerk, no matter…no matter what happened he would always have been the person who made her. He was always talking about the bloodline, well he was always talking about the bloodline with Sho, but she…she was a part of the bloodline too. Even though she was a girl and there was a rule about girls not being able to inherit because they joined their husband's families she was still a Suzuki…dad was always going to be her dad…
Unless he decided that he didn't want her anymore….like he had done with Mukai.
"If you know that I'm your father then why in the he-why did you…what gave you the right to…who do you think you are?" asked Suzuki
"Suzuki Shigeko. I know my own name." said Mob
"No, I mean….what makes you think that you can tell me that…that I'm not your father anymore? You….you're not a child anymore. You're…essentially you're a very small woman-" said Suzuki
"Dad….don't talk like that." Said Mob. She did NOT want to think about that. Minegishi had warned her that people would be all 'you're a woman now' because she got her period and stuff. Minegishi had told her that she wasn't a woman, she was a kid, and that bleeding and…stuff…didn't make her a woman. She did NOT need her dad talking about this! And…and why would he even…what the f-word, dad?!
"What? You are. You haven't been a child for some time now. You're a very small woman and-" said Suzuki
"Can you PLEASE stop saying that?" asked Mob
"I…fine. I don't understand you but fine. I'll do as you ask….no. I've been…I've been listening to you…too often. You may not be a child anymore but I am and always will be your father…and you will never speak to me like that again. You will never…you will never tell me that…that I'm not your father ever again." said Suzuki. There. He had said…what Shiori had thought…was a good idea for him to say. Shiori was a woman and she knew more about parenting…but he knew Shigeko. That…it had felt good to say it, to tell her how things were supposed to be, but afterwards….he knew that there would be an aftermath….
Her aura was deathly still.
"….or what? You're going to hit me again?" asked Mob. No. He did NOT get to be her dad if he…if he wasn't going to act like it! She remembered what she had said and she had said every word of it. She knew her dad and she knew that her dad would never have acted the way he acted. He had cheated on mom. He had stolen Mukai with her. He had called her a mistake. All of that…all of that was unforgivable!
"…no. I will never lay a hand on you again for as long as I live. That was wrong of me." Said Suzuki. A man did not ever strike a woman. Even if she was driving you insane. Even if you wanted to put her through a wall you never struck her. Father had told him that, explicitly told him that, and at the time he had thought that it had been a given. He hadn't known any women yet, he knew girls, but no girl had ever made him angry before…even the slightest bit angry….and father's advice had seemed redundant….but maybe he should have listened better. He…he had struck his own Daughter…well he had done that before…but she had been a child in need of correction.
She was a woman now and he was a man…and a man did not strike a woman….that wasn't right at all.
"…at least you're admitting that you were wrong….about one thing. Now you just have to say sorry for everything and then I'll forgive you and then you and Hatori can come back and then…and then everything is going to go back to normal." Said Mob. There. That hadn't been…as big…as she thought that it was going to be. Dad had said sorry…he was sorry…and that was…maybe she would be less mad at him if he said sorry for everything. She hadn't even been that mad about dad slapping her. No, it didn't matter what he did to her, Mukai was the one that mattered. She was only two and…and she was not a mistake. She was the best little sister in the whole world and…and even if she had come from a woman who wasn't mom….Mob loved her just like if she had been from mom and dad had never cheated on her and broken their family in half.
"What….do you want me to apologize for?" asked Suzuki. He knew that he had made mistakes. He knew that he had cheated on her mother and probably shaken her faith in the opposite sex. He knew that he had shown her the worst of what men could do when he had spent her entire life shielding her from the worst that the world had to offer. He knew that he had shaken her, emotionally, so badly that she practically destroyed the Seventh Division. He had hurt her…and he would say sorry for that…if that was what she wanted from him. She wasn't Shiori. She was like Masami. It was impossible, sometimes, to know what she meant….
Like now.
"What do you think? Dad…you called Mukai a mistake. You had Fukuda take her away from me when she was a baby. You…you cheated on mom and-" said Mob
"I admit to cheating on your mother, I acknowledge that I shook your faith in not only men but probably marriage and romance, and I can assure you that it will never happen again." said Suzuki
"Because you learned your lesson and next time a girl likes you you'll just…run away?" asked Mob
"No, because your mother and I are divorced now. If I am not married then I cannot commit any further adultery." Said Suzuki. He hadn't expected her to be alright with that. He had expected yelling, crying, maybe even some instability in her aura. What he hadn't expected was a direct attack. He was hit with her powers, her aura, he was hit so hard that he had to absorb it. He couldn't block it or deflect it…he had to absorb it…
He wouldn't miss that table. He and Hatori mostly ate in front of the television anyway.
"What the hell, dad, what the hell!? What the…what are you saying?!" shouted Mob. She broke the table…well it fell apart…it shattered like glass and then the legs fell off. She hadn't meant to do that…but….but dad had just…what…what….WHAT!?
"Stop. It. Control yourself….and stop cursing. I know that this must come at a shock to you-" said Suzuki
"Of course it is! Dad….how could you!?" shouted Mob as she jumped to her feet. Her chair fell backwards. She didn't care. Dad had…he had…she knew what divorced meant. Divorced was when people decided that they didn't want to be married anymore. Mom and dad….they weren't married…and that meant that mom was never coming back. She was gone…truly gone…and…and Mob…she had been mad at mom. She had been mad that mom had left….she had been happy that mom was gone since if she came back Mob…well she would have had something mean to say to her…but…but now…now that mom was never coming back….
Well and truly never coming back.
"Stop shouting." Said Suzuki. He knew that she would have been upset….but she did not need to shout. Her mother had been gone for years. Masami had no interest in being his wife or her mother…and he couldn't be expected to just sit around and wait for a woman to come back who wanted absolutely nothing to do with him. He had someone new, someone better, and…and he wished that Shiori had given him permission to tell Shigeko….or at least not outright forbidden him. She loved him and he loved her…and he saw no reason to keep it from his children….though she knew more about these things…and she had a point.
Shigeko was already not taking this well at all.
"No! I am too going to shout! I don't care! How could you have divorced mom! How could….now she's never going to come back! You made her leave! You made her leave and-" said Mob. She was yelling at the top of her lungs, now. She knew that Minegishi and Hatori could hear her from the other room. She knew that the neighbors could probably hear her. She knew that the whole city could probably hear her. She didn't care. Dad….dad could NOT do things like that! Dad…now mom….Mob knew that if mom came back then she would be mad but mom…mom was….she was gone….
Completely and totally gone.
Dad was standing up now, too. He was taller than her…bigger and stronger….and if he wanted to then he could have picked her up and thrown her into the wall like he used to do with Sho. She didn't care. She….she didn't want to fight her dad…but right now she didn't know what she was capable of. He…he hadn't even warned her that…that this was a thing that could happen. He hadn't told her that one day he would…he would…she looked at his hand…his wedding ring was gone….and now that he was standing she couldn't help but stare. His shirt was untucked…she needed….she needed to smoke…but her joint had burnt down to a roach…she had been smoking too quickly….and…and it hadn't helped. She needed another one….she needed….dad was…dad had said…dad was….
Who even WAS dad anymore?!
"Your mother was never coming back! My actions have nothing to do with…with whether or not she returns…and she wasn't planning on returning! Use your brain, Shigeko! I know that you are capable of though!" said Suzuki
"Stop yelling at me!" shouted Mob
"No! Not until you get it through your head that Masami has no interest in being your mother or my wife! You….you need to understand! Do you think that I enjoy yelling at you!? Do you think that I enjoy any of this!?" asked Suzuki
"I don't know! Maybe! Dad…you yell a lot…and the things you yell about don't make any sense! Mom…she-" said Mob
"She's gone!" shouted Suzuki. He grabbed her by the arms…but he did not hit her. He just held her…and she fought him. She fought him like she was being hit…but he would never hit her…not again. She twisted in his arms…her powers lashed out against his….
"No!" shouted Mob as she tried to get away. Dad….dad did not get to…to stop her from moving! He did not get to hold her in one place so…so she had to listen to all the terrible things she knew he was going to say!
"Yes! She's gone and…and I…I don't…I don't know what else you want me to tell you! Your mother has no interest in being your mother! If she did then she wouldn't have left! I know that what I did was wrong because it happened…while I was still married to your mother…but what's done is done. Your mother and I are divorced and…and you're just going to have to accept that." Said Suzuki. He spoke slowly and clearly. He held her tightly but he did not hurt her. He just…he needed her to listen. He needed her to listen and he needed…he needed to make himself heard…clearly. He was…he was bad at this…but he had to get better…
He had to get better for her.
She stopped fighting. She was looking at him, now, and her eyes were…cloudy. Her aura…it was trying to bond with his…but she was trying to stop it. She was trying to get away from him…but also she was trying to be with him and…and he didn't understand. He didn't understand her right now…but he didn't have to understand her right now.
"Dad…daddy…why…explain. Explain….explain why to me…" said Mob. She was tired. She was tired of all the yelling and the fighting. She was tired of being tired. She was tired of being tired of being tired. She just…she stopped fighting. She stopped moving. She just let dad hold her. He was strong. He was stronger than her…there was no point in fighting. She just…she just wanted to know why…she wasn't sure of the question but she knew that she just wanted to know why.
"Because…she….I have no idea why she does the things she does…why she's ever done anything that she's done. I have no idea why she or anyone else would want to leave you…and I know that this must be difficult for you…but….if someone does not want to be with you, if someone leaves you, then you…you should let them go." Said Suzuki. That was…a lesson. A hard learned lesson. She needed to learn this now while she was young and not later on when she was in her forties. Not after she had wasted years of her life feeling pain from someone who didn't want to be with her. He could protect her while he was alive….but by the time she got to forty five he doubted that he would still be living. He just…he needed….he needed to…to explain.
"Is that why you left?" asked Mob softly.
"You…you told me to leave." Said Suzuki
"You made me tell you to leave." Said Mob
"I did no such thing." Said Suzuki. He may not have remembered his exact words but he knew that he had never ordered her to order him to leave. The entire scenario made no sense at all.
"Yes you did. You made me….you….you said that Mukai was a mistake! You said that Mukai was a mistake and…and you….just take it back and you can come home!" said Mob
"I….I did make a mistake…and I will not lie to you. When I…you do not want details and I do not want to give them…when Mukai was conceived-" said Suzuki
"What's that mean?" asked Mob
"…created. When she was created-" said Suzuki
"Too many details!" said Mob. She covered her ears and shook her head. Dad let go of her and shrugged…he actually shrugged. She had no idea that he even knew what that meant…it didn't fit…but a lot of things about him didn't fit. Like how he had divorced mom….how he had taken his ring off…how his shirt was untucked…all of this just….was not her dad. He had changed…but maybe….maybe he could change back…or change for the better…or even changed into a different shirt….or something.
"You asked." Said Suzuki with a shrug. A habit that he'd picked up from Hatori…one that fit. She had asked him to explain the words and now she was asking him to keep it to himself. She was so confusing…as women often were.
"I didn't know what I was asking." Said Mob
"Sometimes in life we don't know what we're doing….sometimes we make mistakes…and sometimes those mistakes result in the accidental creation of new human beings. You'll understand when you get older and….actually I pray that you never have to understand. I should not have done what I did. I made a mistake." Said Suzuki. He was humbling himself, here, at his daughter's feet…he should not have been humbling himself to his own child…but here he was. He had no idea what else he could have done.
"Mukai isn't a mistake, dad, she's my sister. She's a person. She's my little sister. She's a Suzuki…well she's a Sagami…but technically she's a Suzuki. Dad…she isn't a mistake…and it hurts me that you could call one of us a mistake…" said Mob
"What would you have me call her, then?" asked Suzuki
"Mukai. My little sister. Your daughter…but don't call her Daughter. That's…that would be weird because there are two of us now. If you want to come back…if you want to say that you're sorry and come back….you can't call Mukai Daughter like you used to call me Daughter. You have to call her Mukai." Said Mob
"….is that what she's answering to these days?" asked Suzuki. Mukai. The name that he had given her…she answered to it. He knew that Mukai most likely had no idea who he was…he knew that she most likely didn't even remember a time before she was Mukai…and he knew that this didn't even logically matter….but illogically….she was using the name that he had given her. He was her father…he was her father and he had no idea….why did he feel…warm? Inside of himself he felt warm…at the thought of being her father…which was a lot better than the abject terror that he had felt he first time that he had held her in his arms….but it was a thousand times more confusing.
"Yes, she knows her name now. I don't think that she knew it when she was a baby but she knows it now." Said Mob
"That's because she was Mi-cha when she came to us. I…renamed her…." said Suzuki. He still didn't know why he'd done it…to make her more his? Less Pang's? He….he still didn't know….not that it mattered now…..
"Her mom called her Mi-cha." Said Mob. Her mom….the lady…the one who had tricked dad. The one who had given up Mukai…given her to Mob…and then just left.
"Yes." said Suzuki
"Who…who was her mom?" asked Mob. She didn't want to think about her, about the lady who had tricked her dad into loving her and then just abandoned Mukai and…and tried to break up the family, but…but this was important to know. If Mob had been in Mukai's place then she would have wanted to know who her mom had been. She would have wanted the truth. No more secrets. Secrets were like poison. They made everything bad and made you sick and killed you from the inside…and she was not going to let that happen. Not again and not to anyone else.
"Is that….important?" asked Suzuki. Pang was gone, she was long gone, she was even more long gone than Masami had been. Masami had at least been his wife, she had at least been bound to him, but Pang…but Sujin…she had just been….a one night stand like Shiori had said. He didn't know why she was important. She also wanted nothing to do with him…not that he had been looking….but he knew that she must not have wanted anything to do with him…and he knew that he was done chasing after women who wanted nothing to do with him. If a woman didn't love him….if a woman did not care for him…then he didn't give a….he didn't care.
"It is. What if Mukai wants to know about her? About where she came from. If I were her, if I'd been adopted, then I would have wanted to know where I came from." Said Mob
"…you would?" asked Suzuki. He felt his blood running cold. He felt his heart stop and then start and then stop again. He felt…he felt himself floating up off the ground. He felt…he didn't know what he felt. He knew that he…he was dizzy and…no. She was speaking in hypotheticals. She didn't know the truth. Unless Fukuda….no….she and Tadashi didn't get along….but Tadashi had been making one bad choice after another and after another but…but if Shigeko knew then…then she would have said something…
She was his daughter. No one else's.
"Of course. Who wouldn't?" asked Mob
"…and you would want me to tell you?" asked Suzuki. That was out of the question. He knew what she would have wanted…but she was his child. Biology meant nothing. This was his child…daughter…this woman was his and nobody else's.
"Of course. I just…if you tell me about her then I can tell Mukai…and then she'll know…unless you want to tell her yourself. Unless you want to…to say sorry…for everything….and come home." Said Mob. She just….she needed him back. She needed him to come home. She needed…she didn't know what else she needed…or why she even needed him. Maybe because she was his kid and he was her dad. Maybe because…because he had been gone for so long….and there had been so much fighting….the fighting never stopped…but she just…she wanted it all to stop already….
"I do want to come home…and I will apologize for saying what I said…but she was a mistake. I hadn't set out to create her and therefore her existence was a mistake…but I bear no ill will towards her." said Suzuki
"Dad…get a clue. You don't get to call people mistakes….you don't tell people things like that." Said Mob. So dad…he hadn't been trying to be mean…he was just clueless. She didn't know if she wanted to laugh or to cry…or to break more things. This was….dad was….he was….she had a headache. He was a headache….she loved him but he was a headache.
"I…can see that now…and if it bothers you then I will…I will say whatever you want me to say and do whatever you want me to do. Shigeko….please. I miss….I miss you and…and I want you back. Please forgive me." Said Suzuki. There. Everything that was inside of him…all the emotion…everything. He…he just…he…he took a step away from her…and then towards…and then away again. There was broken porcelain…bits of the table…all of it under his feet. With each step forward and each step back the kitchen filled with noise. Shigeko's aura…it was close to his…he pulled away….but then he got closer…but then he pulled away. He prayed to God that none of the others decided to investigate…he just…he had no idea….he had no idea…how he would explain. He didn't want to explain…he wanted to be alone….but he wanted to be with her.
"Dad…I forgive you…but you're going to have to home and apologize to Mukai. Say that you're sorry for being mean to her. Say that you're sorry for calling her a mistake. Say that you're sorry for…for being a jerk…and then…and then you can come home." Said Mob
"I…I can do that…" said Suzuki. He didn't want to do that…he didn't want to see her…but also…also he just…he wanted to see her. He wanted to talk to her. He wanted to know the person that she was…the person that he had made. He wanted to know his daughter…his youngest daughter….Mukai. He wanted to know her.
"I love you, dad, I love you so much…thank you." Said Mob. She hugged her dad….she hugged her dad for the first time in…in what felt like forever. He loved…he loved her and she loved him and now…now everything would be better. Now they could be happy together…now everything would be ok. Now everything would be back to normal. She had her dad back and….and things were going to be ok now. She had him and she had her best friend back…and another friend…and dad was going to be nice to Mukai…things were better….and they would keep on getting better….so long as she held her dad tight…her headache of a dad…
She had missed him so much….she'd had no idea how much she missed him…but now everything was finally going to get back to normal.