Author: me

Rating: teen

genre: angst (and lots of it)

Pairings: JJ/Emily

Timeframe: no specific time frame

Canon divergence: this is a sequel to a fic so everything from the past fic

Warnings: all warnings from I can't change and who I was apply here, with more heavy themes about PTSD, any additional warnings will be added in chapter notes

A/N: I'm so sorry it took me so long to upload this. Totally my fault.

If you haven't read 'I can't change' and 'who I was' this fic will not make sense to you

...

Emily felt JJ go limp in her arms, as far as she knew JJ hadn't slept in God knows how many days- at least 5. Emily moved a piece of JJs hair aside confirming she had in fact fallen, asleep. JJ hadn't stopped crying in the nearly an hour they had been sitting on the bed, and JJ didn't expect her to. Even as Emily gently laid JJ down onto the bed there were still tears running down her cheeks, who knew you could cry in your sleep.

Once JJ was situated under the covers Emily considered what she needed to do next. She didn't want to leave JJ alone, but if she stayed with her there were several risks: she could be overstepping boundaries, JJ could wake up and not expect Emily and get scared, and she would be too far away from Ben. But if she left, she would be too far away from JJ.

After a few moment Emily decided, she would go check on Ben and go from there. So, she made her way up to Bens room, opening the door as quietly as possible. She didn't need to worry though since when she opened the door Ben was sitting up against his headboard looking deep in thought.

"You wanna tell me what you're thinking about?" Emily asked leaning against the doorframe, startling the young boy.

"Sorry, I know I should be asleep. I'll go back to bed" he said quickly and started shuffling to get back under the covers.

"Oh no, it's okay. If you can't sleep you can't sleep" Emily moved to sit down in one of the desk chairs. "So again, you wanna tell me what you're thinking about"

"Oh, nothing much. Just random stuff.

Emily had a hard time believing that with everything that happened but she let it slide. "Well, I was coming up to check on you, since your awake, and probably not going to sleep why don't we head downstairs and find something to do"

Ben thought for a moment before declining. "Do you care if we stay up here, I like being in here." Ben was nervous for Emily's reaction and quickly added "You can stay in here though. But you don't have to."

"Of course, we can stay in here, maybe tomorrow we can do something. What kinds of things do you like to do?" Emily could tell the boy was nervous, it was part of her job to read body language.

"Oh- "Ben had never been asked that before and it took him a second to answer. "I'm not really sure. I haven't done a whole lot"

It hit Emily for the first time that Ben had never known anything other than 'The Downstairs' and the occasional trip to "The Hut" he probably has never played out in the rain, or had pizza.

"Well, I guess that means you will just have to try a lot of new things" Emily suggested and was happy when she got a nod in response, that was easier than she expecting, though actually getting him to try things would be harder than just offering.

There were a few moments of silence, and Ben sat moved to the edge of his bed, suddenly changing his mind about staying in his room. It was scary to go out into an unfamiliar place, but it might be easier to go it now instead of in the morning.

"Actually, I think I would like to go downstairs, if that's okay"

"Of course, let's go"

Emily and Ben walked downstairs into the main floor. Emily was surprised Ben had decided to go downstairs, but it made her happy Ben seemed more comfortable than before. even if only by a little.

Even though Emily had been on the bottom floor several times, she still hadn't had a chance to really look around, so while Ben ran off to look out the front window at the snow she went to explore.

She started in the kitchen, there were still cabinets open from her search earlier. The kitchen was a rather large one, that based on the scuffs on the counter Emily could tell was used a lot. The fridge itself was fairly empty, but that was to be expected after being gone fore several days. On the front of the fridge were a couple pictures of JJ with various people, mostly Luke or Penelope, but there were a few people she didn't know.

Next was the dinning room, it was nothing more then a table and some chairs so she went into the living room, passing by where Ben was sitting in front of the glass security door eyes wide, amazed at the snow.

She had of course been in the living room before, but never got a good look around. Up on the mantle next to the TV was a crystal Eiffel tower light hitting it just right so there were rainbows shinning all round the room. Emily walked over to get a closer look and saw a tag attached with handwriting on it. Emily flipped over the tag to read it, but the tag ended up unfolding into a note.

Dear JJ: happy birthday JJ, I wish I could be there. I mean this is the big one right 21 years old. I never would have thought you would get that old. I know you have always wanted to go to Paris, and while I can't send you there, I thought this might be the next best thing. Tell Luke I love him, and of course I love you too- Papaw

Ps. I did ask Becca and Mae what I should get

Ok that confused Emily, JJ didn't talk to any of her family anymore, so why was there a gift from someone who seemed to be JJs grandfather. Emily had so many questions, and she hoped she would get answers sooner rather then later. Replacing the tag Emily moved onto the other things in the room. For the first time she noticed that in the bottom corner of all of the many paintings had a small 'JJ' signed.

Emily was ready to move into a new room when JJ came bursting out of her room, causing Ben to flinch and stand up from his spot in front of the door afraid he was in trouble. But JJ paid no attention to him or Emily as she stormed into the living room pulling couch cushions up to look under them.

"Where is it. It has to be here" JJ muttered, as she continued franticly looking for something.

"JJ, where is what. Tell me what you're looking for" Emily said.

There was no indication JJ had even heard Emily, throwing a blanket across the room.

"Have to find it. Have to find it" JJ Repeated the words like a prayer.

Emily grabbed JJ wrists effectively stopping JJ from throwing anything else. JJ fought against her grip, but in her weakened state couldn't get away. "JJ, I'm here to help. Tell me what you need" Emily said trying to looking JJ in the eye but JJ was still fighting.

"My necklace. It's gone I can't find it" JJ gasped breathing picking up fast, panic seeping into her for what felt like the thousandth time in the past few days.

Emily's heart sunk, of course JJ would want that necklace. They had found it when they found JJ laying in the floor, clasp broken, and it was taken for evidence. Hotch had been assured they would get it back after it was processed, and swabbed, but that had yet to happen.

"Okay, I'm gonna call Hotch to see if we can get it back, we found it with you, it just went to evidence. We're gonna get it back" Emily hoped that would calm JJ down a little, but it only made her sink to the floor, nearly pulling Emily down with her.

"I can't breathe, it's not working. I can't breathe without it" JJ leaned against the couch chest heaving. Emily could see JJ was actively trying to calm herself, but wasn't making much progress.

Emily needed to stop JJ from passing out, while working on getting the necklace back. Emily looked over towards Ben who had pressed himself against the wall, and looked almost as panicked as JJ, all the activity must have startled him.

An idea popped into Emily's head, she moved towards Ben, who unlike JJ seemed to be at least a little aware of his surroundings. "Ben, hey come over here sit by JJ"

Ben eyes snapped up from the ground, he did as he was told- more out of fear then anything. He walked over and sat down next to JJ, nearly touching.

Emily watched as he did it, hoping the siblings might do better with each other- she just hoped it didn't backfire.

JJ eyes snapped over to Ben noticing he was there; it was almost an instant change. JJs was still gasping for breath, Ben doing the same next to her, it wasn't even a conscious decision when they reached for the others hand. JJ was the only person that Ben seemed to be completely comfortable with, even though it hadn't even been 2 days.

Emily was comfortable enough to leave the room and go into the kitchen, not far enough she couldn't hear them, but far close enough that Ben and JJ could clearly hear her on the phone. Hotch picked up after the second ring.

'Prentiss?' his voice came through the phone; it was sleepy but not like when you just wake up.

'Yeah, it's me'

'Is everything okay' his voice was suddenly concerned

'No- I mean- not really. JJ doesn't have her necklace and really needs it'

'Dammit, I didn't even think about that. It should be back at Quantico, can go get it and drop it off'

'No, it's fine I can go get it'

'You need to stay with JJ and Ash'

'Ben' Emily corrected

'Sorry, Ben. This isn't up for debate; I'll get it there soon'

Emily didn't have a chance to respond before Hotch hung up. As much as he didn't show it Hotch was an incredibly loving person- he just had his own way of showing it. And it's no secret he has a bit of a soft spot for JJ.

Emily went to the fridge, it was a little past 5am and she was starting to get hungry, which meant Ben and JJ were probably too. When there wasn't anything to eat, she gave herself 2 tasks: make a grocery list, and order breakfast.

Knowing JJ or Ben hadn't sleep for more than an hour in the past few days there was another task added to her list: get them both into a peaceful sleep. Though that would be easier said then done.

When Emily returned to the living room JJ was still leaning against the couch and Emily could see her lips counting, one hand was up on her neck right where Roslyn's would sit, and the other hand was gripping Bens. Ben was sitting crisscross next to JJ eyes focused on a very interesting piece of floor, and was rocking lightly back and forth. Something Emily noticed becoming a pattern.

"Hey guys, I know it might be hard but I think some sleep would do you both some good" Emily said leaning in the wide doorway.

JJ looked up at her, dried tear tracks on her cheeks, and looked back at Ben. And at Emily, and at ben, and back at Emily, and back at Ben. Clearly debating options.

Emily had an idea- that would hopefully get them both to sleep. Best case scenario neither would have nightmares.

"Why don't y'all both sleep in JJs room. Might be warmer" Of course that was not the reason Emily wanted them in the same room, it was just a bonus. Even though it was time for it to get brighter, the clouds stopped that from happening, the snow was still coming down- hard. Emily realized Hotch would have to drive in it, which did absolutely nothing to ease her anxiety.

JJ and Ben considered this for a moment.

"Is that okay with you?" JJ asked Ben

Ben chewed his lip for a moment before answering "Do we have to sleep in the same bed?"

JJ answered him before Emily could. "Not if you don't want to, I have an air mattress I can set up. Would that be better"

Ben nodded and JJ made a move to stand up, wincing as she did so. Her injuries from the past few days hadn't healed at all really. The burns from the explosion, the bruises, and the cracked ribs left her in constant pain. Emily helped her up, all adrenaline had worn off and JJ was starting to feel the effects.

Ben stood as well, reaching out a hand to steady JJ, stopping just with his hand hovering over her. The three walked into JJ's Bedroom, the first time Ben had been in there.

"Where's the air mattress" Emily asked

"It's in the closet I can get it" JJ said

"Oh no you don't. don't think I don't see you wince every time you move. I can get it. Is it up top?" Emily quickly stopped her; JJ didn't need to do anything right about now.

At JJs nod Emily opened the closet door, the closet was a large walk in one, work clothes hanging on one side, more casual on the other, most of which Emily hadn't seen. Emily wasted no time in finding the air mattress, wanting to get both of them asleep before Hotch got there.

Emily set up the mattress beside the bed, warning Ben and JJ when she was going to turn on the pump. Once it was all set up and ready to go- including blankets and pillows JJ had pulled out of a drawer on her dresser JJ moved to set her stuff down on it.

"You can take the bed" she said to ben who looked a little wary

"But it's your bed, I don't want to take it" he said a little confused

"No, it's okay. You can sleep on the bed. We can switch next time if you want" JJ saying 'next time' implied it would likely be a regular occurrence.

"Do y'all need anything?" Emily asked them.

JJ shook her head and Ben did the same.

"I'm gonna go grab some melatonin gummies out of my bag so y'all sleep better. And at the risk of sounding like a parent, y'all should use the bathroom before you go to sleep" Emily looked specifically over at JJ for that one. There were to many nights when they were sharing a hotel room JJ would wake up in the middle of the night to pee.

"I actually have melatonin gummies in here" JJ moved to one of her nightstands pulling open a drawer retrieving the bottle, that was less then half full. She shook out 6 gummies popping 2 in her mouth, handing two to Ben and offering two to Emily- which she declined.

Ben looked at the Gummies in his hand fearfully. It was clear he had never seen them before, and was scared he was being given something bad. It was a valid fear after what happens to kids in 'The Downstairs'

"It's just melatonin, it will make you sleep better. You can look at the bottle" JJ said noticing this and handing him the bottle. Which Ben starting inspecting carefully.

Emily was surprised for half a second on how JJ was handling Ben adjusting, but she really had zero reason to be surprised. It was part of JJ's job to deal with traumatized kids and adults, she had experience. On top of that JJ herself had been through what Ben had, she knew what might upset or trigger him.

After reading nearly all the information on the bottle Ben ate the gummies, not without having to force them down though.

"Well, I'm going to go sit out in the living room if y'all need anything" Emily wanted to stay, she really did, but standing over them while they were sleeping was a little creepy.

JJ gave her a nod and Emily left closing the door behind her. Ben was standing rather awkwardly in by the bed, like he was waiting to be told what to do.

"Do you wanna go to the bathroom first or after me" JJ asked

"Just whatever works for you"

"I'll go first"

Only a few minutes later JJ was turning off the light in the bedroom leaving the bathroom one on, and the door to it slightly cracked so it wasn't completely dark.

"Do you want me to turn on white noise?" JJ was doing her best to make Ben comfortable.

"If you want" Ben said sitting down on the edge of the bed.

"I'm asking you. do you want white noise?" JJ knew it was hard to make decisions when had never had too before.

"I don't know- I've never tried it"

"Well, why don't we try tonight and if you don't like the noise we won't anymore"

Ben nodded and JJ pulled out her phone going to the apps she always used and turned on the white noise. She knew Ben wouldn't go to bed if she wasn't in bed so she laid down on the air mattress feeling her muscles relax. She saw Ben do the same.

Truth be told, neither sibling wanted to sleep. Mainly out of fear, of nightmares, of the unknown, just a general fear of everything. But JJ would try, she couldn't help it really. JJ and Ben both fell asleep.

……………………….

Emily closed the bedroom door behind her, shoulders dropping. It was highly unlikely that they would both get through sleep without nightmares, but she could hope. Staying true to her word Emily went and sat down on the couch, pulling her phone out to read and keeping an eye out for Hotch to pull up, so she could open the door before he rang the doorbell.

Not long later a SUV pulled into the driveway, and Emily jumped up from her seat. She waited till Hotch was right at the door to open it, not wanting to let all the hot air out of the house, it was cold enough already.

The door opened and Hotch stood there, small box in hand, some snow in his hair. Emily practically yanked him into the house, Hotch's plan was just to drop off the box and leave but clearly Emily had other plans.

"Hotch you are a lifesaver" Emily said and Hotch handed her the box.

"It was no problem; I just wish I would have thought about it" he said in an unusually soft voice

"Yeah, me too. JJ is supposed to be asleep right now so I'll just leave it on the nightstand for when she wakes up.

Hotch glanced in the direction of JJs bedroom, Emily thought no one on the team had been to JJs house before but clearly Hotch had.

"I came to check on her after the Tobias case, and found her sitting on the floor in the kitchen- looked like she had been there for hours, took everything I had to get her to try to sleep" Hotch said and looked back towards Emily "Emily. How bad is it"

"It's bad Aaron" Emily said "Really bad"

……………………….

A/N: And I'm back, I hope y'all liked this chapter. I'm not sure how I feel about it but here it is.

I took a while to unload this only because I was lazy. Blame me.

Stay hydrated folks (coffee does not count)

For the first time in this fic

Reviews are appreciated but not required