Hotch walked out the door, leaving Emily with box. Emily set it down on the counter, debating over whether or not to open it, or just give it to JJ. After not much consideration Emily decided to open it, even though she already knew what should be in it. If JJ got mad at her for opening it, she could just say it was for safety reasons- which wasn't far from the truth… I guess.

Emily opened the small cardboard box, only to find another black box that looked like what you would get with a new piece of jewelry. Opening that box JJs necklace was sitting like it was brand new, except a small chip.

Emily had never seen the necklace up close before. JJ wore it all day every day, but sometimes it was hidden under her shirt, other times JJ would be holding it while it was around her neck, and sometimes on really bad days JJ would take it off and just grip it tightly in her hand.

The necklace itself was simple, a small rose gold heart with a single crystal in the center, there was a small chip on the bottom, making the bottom of the heart for flat then pointed. Emily didn't know where JJ got the necklace or why it was so important. Any time she tried to ask JJ managed to change the subject.

Emily added another task to her mental list: ask JJ about the necklace

Knowing JJ would want the necklace as soon as she woke up Emily crept towards her room to set it on a nightstand near JJ. She let out a sigh of relief as the bedroom door didn't squeak when she opened it.

Both Ben and JJ looked asleep. Ben had his mouth hanging slightly open letting out soft breaths. JJ was asleep on the air mattress on the far side of the bed, Emily could tell from where she was JJ wasn't having a good dream, her face scrunched into a frown. Knowing how much JJ needed sleep Emily didn't dare wake her up, even if the sleep wasn't super peaceful it was still sleep.

Happy that both Ben and JJ were asleep Emily took a few moments to just watch them. There was a long road ahead of them, there were talks that needed to be had, things to be bought, boundaries to set. Emily knew she would be a big part of getting Ben settled- if JJ was going to heal at all she needed some time for herself, which she couldn't do if she was only focusing on Ben.

Emily took one last glance at JJ, the light shining through the window as it became brighter was dangerously close to being right in JJs eyes, so she quietly walked across the room to adjust the curtains. Once that was completed Emily had to force herself to leave the room, instead of just standing and watching JJs chest rise and fall.

Once out of the room Emily mentally checked off the task of getting JJ and Ben asleep, moving onto her next one, making a grocery list and then getting said groceries. Moving into the kitchen Emily looked to see if JJ had already started a list.

The first drawer Emily opened was something of a junk drawer, and sure enough there was a notepad with a long grocery list.

Emily spent the next hour putting in a grocery order to be delivered, that way she wouldn't have to leave. It took a long time, between trying to see what JJ had, looking over JJs own list and extra stuff they would need since there were now three of them instead of one. Emily decided she would cover the bill; she would be living there for a while might as well start contributing.

After placing the order Emily ran up to the guest room to grab something and came back down sitting down at the breakfast room table, right by the kitchen. The list of things she needed to do seemed to be getting longer and longer to where it could no long fit just in her head.

Turning to an empty page in her notebook Emily made a to-do list:

Get her stuff from Penelope

Put away groceries

Set up Ben's phone

Get Bens stuff put away

Try to Get both JJ and Ben to go to therapy

Ask JJ about necklace

Ask JJ about sexuality and gender

Emily had more but she stopped there for a moment, she wanted to ask JJ about her sexuality and gender because she wanted to be supportive, about her gender more than anything. It had said in JJs file she didn't feel like a girl and Emily needed to know if that was just the naturel questioning a teen goes through or if JJ still felt like that. If JJ still felt like that Emily would do whatever to support her, whatever that meant. If she needed to address JJ by a different name or pronouns, or help JJ transition she would absolutely do that.

And asking about sexuality was really just to get an idea of where they stood. Maybe even give Emily a chance to come out, something she hadn't done with the team yet.

Emily shook away those thoughts for now going back to making a list:

Update Penelope

Search rest of house

Help Ben find hobbies

Talk about boundaries

Explain more to Ben

Expose Ben to people more

Get Bens file from 'The Downstairs'

Find out more about JJs past

That last two things are what scared Emily, after seeing JJs file she was worried at that Bens might say. She knew everything that happened in 'The Downstairs' was bad but didn't quite know had bad things really were. Learning more about JJs past would be hard but it needed to be done. She just hoped the conversations would lead to healing, instead of a shutdown from JJ.

The next hour or two Emily couldn't stop herself from checking on JJ and Ben nearly every 15 minutes. The longest she went without checking was 25 minutes while she was putting away groceries. She couldn't keep walking into the bedroom risking waking JJ and Ben up, she needed a distraction. So, she called Penelope.

Penelope's voice came loudly through the phone "Oh Emily, how's JJ oh and Ash! I mean Ben. I meant to bring over your stuff earlier but with all this snow I'm just now leaving to pick up the stuff from your apartment. Does Ben or JJ need anything, I know I got a lot of stuff already but I might have forgotten something"

"Pen-!" Emily affectively cut her off "Take a deep breath, everything is fine, there's no rush on my stuff, no one need for you to buy anything. I just needed a distraction so I don't keep checking on JJ and Ben"

"It's tough huh, seeing her like this"

"Yeah, it is. I hate having to leave her alone at all, knowing I can't do anything to help" Emily sighed and leaned back into the couch, there was something about Penelope that just made people want to talk, about nearly anything.

"Yeah, your gonna feel like that for a while, just know things will get better; for all three of you. don't expect immediate results, these things take time"

"You're right, you really are its just after those three days I worry so much about JJ. I can't imagine how she feels"

That was true, the three days JJ had been missing and possibly dead were some of the hardest of Emily's life. The rush of trying to find her, trying to get kids into foster homes, keeping Ben safe, the worry that JJ was dead, it was all very overwhelming and drained all energy from Emily.

Even after they found JJ there was JJ being in the hospital, Ben being afraid of everyone he saw, trying to get JJ medical care without making her more uncomfortable than she already was. Now living with JJ for a while taking care of both her and Ben, all while trying not completely fall in love.

Hold on- what was that last part. Emily didn't even realize she was thinking it, of course she had had feelings for JJ for a long time, but always assumed JJ wasn't gay. The picture of Elle proved her wrong, and there was another thing for her list: find out about the Elle situation. Emily knew she couldn't even begin to think about a relationship with JJ for a long time, how long she wasn't sure.

….

JJ woke with a start; she had had a nightmare. It wasn't a new nightmare it was one she had been having since she was 14 years old, she knew it from beginning to end.

She would wake up in a dark room where she couldn't see anything, slowly brother Jesse would appear. He would tell her that he hurt Roslyn like he did to her and that he really killed her. Then Roslyn would appear bleeding from her wrists telling JJ what Bro. Jesse was saying wasn't true. Then JJ would suddenly be back in the bathroom where she found Roslyn and Bro. Jesse would be holding down Roslyn while he cut her. JJ would wake up as soon as Roslyn passed out.

And that was it, that was the dream. There was sometimes variation, hell one time she dreamt that dream and everyone was a werewolf. Tonight, in particular there was one major change to the dream, instead of Roslyn being there it was Ben- not her brother, the SWAT agent.

JJ had nightmares all the time, and after having the same one so many times she learned how to recover from it, she couldn't do that with most nightmares. This was the first time Ben had been featured in one of her dreams, but JJ knew it wouldn't be the last.

He was just another death to be guilty about. Dead. Luke was dead.

In the few moment JJ had been awake it was like she had forgotten; it all came back to her making her feel like she would pass out. Luke was dead. Dead. That was a hard word to process. There had been times where JJ thought or had to pretend Luke was dead, but it wasn't the same.

JJ had lost her lifeline; they had spent their lives together since they were kids and now, he was gone. Forever. Emily had told her she would relearn to live but it seemed impossible, there were so many things that were gone.

There were no more weekend trips to visit aunt Mae and Becca. No more ranting no the other about their day. Or making the 2-hour drive to the others house in the middle of the night on a weekday when they would be at work the next day just because one of them needed a hug. Just the comfort of the other existing.

It was all gone, all of it.

Everyone at the BAU knew who Luke was, it would be hard not to with how much JJ talked about him. There were suspicions sometimes that JJ and Luke were a couple but JJ always shut those down. It was pretty easy to do since Luke was so open about being gay.

JJ felt tears spring up but she quickly blinked them away, JJ hated crying. Rolling over JJ pulled her blanket up to her chin; she saw the box on the nightstand and grabbed it pulling it open. Without wasting a second JJ put the necklace on. She normally wouldn't sleep in it, but she needed the comfort.

JJ didn't want to go back to sleep, but she needed to. She could hear Emily walking through the house the footsteps making her panic for only a moment before relaxing again. Before she fell asleep again she could almost hear Luke telling her goodnight.

...

A/N: y'all i'm sorry it had taken me so long to get this chapter posted. i've had a lot of stuff going on so if there are big gaps between chapters I didn't abandon this fic.

reminder this Fic is also posted on ao3

let me know if you have questions comments or something you would like to see i really take those reviews to heart

stay hydrated folks

reviews are appreciated but not required ;)