JJ had been gone for 3 hours. Emily had spent some time with Ben trying to talk to him, with little success. Now Emily was sitting alone in the living room leg bouncing phone laying in her hand contemplating whether or not to call JJ, on one hand, JJ was angry, and rightfully so, calling her might set her off again. On the other hand, for JJs own safety Emily needed to know where she was, luckily, I idea popped into her mind.

The phone rang three times before a voice came across. "This is headmistress of the FBI how can I help you"

"Pen thank God, I need you to track JJs phone" Emily got straight to the point

There was rapid typing "It shows she is at a park about 40 minutes away I sent you the address, why is something wrong" Penelope's voice was slightly panicked

"She got mad and left, and I wanted to know where she was. I gotta go, I'll keep you updated" Emily didn't wait for a response before hanging up.

Emily's first instinct was to drive to the park and get JJ to come home but it wasn't really an option with Ben, she couldn't leave him home alone, but she couldn't take him with her- that simply wasn't right especially in JJs state

……………………….

JJ sat on the bench looking out on the pond, that park reminded her so much of the place behind Papaws where her and Luke would play and build and read, and pick flowers, and befriend squirrel and climb trees, and fix tree houses, and identify leaf types, and stargaze. She couldn't do any of that anymore, she should have been more grateful when Luke was there.

Every breath JJ took reminded her that she was alive, and while that might be reassuring in some situations it just drowned JJ in guilt. She was alive and Luke wasn't, she was going to live to see the sun rise, Luke wasn't, she would be able to see Ben grow into a young man.

Ben… JJ had no idea she had a brother util only a few weeks ago and now she was taking care of a kid, she had no experience, how do you raise a traumatized kid who has never known Love. Step one of course was a good therapist, but other then that what could JJ do. Ash of course was his legal name; Ben was only a name JJ had suggested and he approved.

Ben was comfortable with his name, but for JJ it was a way to ease her guilt, she had made the mistake of Looking Ben the swat agents FBI file. He had a family and kids 3 to be exact between ages 7 and 12, those kids would never have their father because of JJ.

The morning JJ had gotten the call from hotch about the case she had a bad feeling, maybe if she had done something different- didn't go on the case, didn't go into the church, didn't go see aunt Mae and Becca- just something differently Luke wouldn't be dead and JJ would be coming into the work normally like she did before everything fell apart.

JJ didn't notice she was completely alone in the park, but that was okay, she just wanted everything to go away. Her intention was to close her eyes for a moment to compose herself then go back to the house before Emily sent out a search party, but the second her eyes were closed JJ was sound asleep.

……………………….

"I know JJ isn't here but it's a good idea for you to go to bed now so you don't throw you sleep schedule off" Emily poked her head into bens room where he was doing something at his desk, it was 10:45 the time nighttime routines would normally start happening.

"Sleep Schedule" Ben repeated "But JJ has to be here"

"I know she normally is, but one night will be fine she'll be back"

"But JJs there every night" Ben stood from his chair and started pacing back and forth across the room palms pushed together rubbing against each other "JJ had to be here, JJ has to be here, she can't just not be here"

His breathing had picked up significantly and Emily was getting more and more concerned.

"She has to be here, nothings right if she isn't here, everything will be wrong, it's all out of order" Ben sunk to the ground leaning on the wall chest heaving tears pooling and hands rubbing back and forth on the carpet rapidly.

Emily had enough experience dealing with and having panic attacks she was pretty good at bring people down from them but after several minutes of trying to calm Ben down even a bit it became clear it wasn't just a panic attack.

What Ben was having was a meltdown, Emily had much less experience dealing with those, pulling out her phone Emily called the only person she could think of. Spencer Reid.

"Please pickup, please pickup"

"Emily?" Spencer's voice cam through the phone and Emily sighed in relief if anyone know how to help it was spencer.

"Spencer, I need your help" Emily said "I think Bens having a meltdown and I don't know what tot do"

"Ok do we know if Ben's autistic"

"I have no idea, it's not like he would have been tested"

"Do you know what triggered the meltdown" spencer needed to know the facts before giving advice.

"It's time for him to go to sleep and him and JJ have been sleeping in the same room, but JJs not here right now"

"Got it change in routine. If you can't fix the routine then the main thing is calming him down, get him a blanket, a weighted one would be best and just let him lay in the bed for a while, if he starts hurting himself that's when you step in, maybe get some water or a comfort item"

"You're a lifesaver Dr. Reid"

"Good luck Emily"

Shoving her phone back in her pocket Emily ran out of the room grabbing the weighted blanket she slept with, and ran back into the room. She extended a hand to Ben who didn't even look at her.

"Look I got you his weighted blanket, why don't you lie down for a while then we will regroup" Ben didn't move only shifted his eyes towards her. "Would you like me to grab you some water"

Ben nodded his head, whether he was saying yes or that was just him trying to get some release she didn't know either way she left Ben with the blanket and went to get a cup of water. After returning with the cup Ben was in the bed wrapped into a burrito with the weighted blanket, he looked only a little calmer but it was an improvement.

"I'm going to leave this here, you take as long as you need, I will be right down the hall in my room reading if you need anything" Emily thought by telling Ben exactly where she was and what she was doing might help.

Emily left the room turning off the light behind her and moved to her room- well technically the quest room. Even though she had told Ben she was going to read she instead updated the team on everything, and answering some emails, the whole-time hoping JJ would come back soon, if it was much longer, she would at least call her.

……………………….

JJ pulled into her driveway, from what she could see most of the lights in her house were off, minus the living room where she could see a showdown on the other side of the curtains moving around looking at something on her mantel.

JJ knew there wasn't really a reason for her to be mad at Emily, she was just looking around, but Emily felt like a babysitter, ever since they got back JJ had felt Emily was treating her like a toddler, always asking if she needed help with simple tasks like putting up a painting, or telling her she couldn't do things when JJ was a full-grown adult.

Unlocking the front door JJ was relived to fell the heat after being in the cold so long, the relief was short lived because Emily noticed she was home and marched up to her.

"JJ you can't just leave like that, I had no idea where you were or if you were okay or not" Emily said

There It was again telling JJ what she can and can't do. "Don't act like you didn't ask Penelope to track my phone" JJ words were already angry but there was no doubt there was also some fear.

"Wait how did you know that?" had Penelope told JJ

"I didn't know that, that was a pure guess, but I guess I was right. You're treating me like a child, I am grown adult fully capable of making their own decisions"

"JJ I'm not treating you like a child, but you cannot just leave like that, especially not in your condition"

"What do you mean 'my condition'" JJ did her best to keep from shouting, she realized at the park she might have scared Ben and she wanted to avoid doing that a second time.

"I just want what's best for you, and to be totally honest Jennifer you're not in your best health or mental state" Emily's words while they might be true stung JJ, she felt anger rise balling her fists at her side.

"Where is ben" for words that seem to harmless JJ said them with as much venom as she could muster.

Emily who had stayed calm through the entire exchange noticed the shift in JJs body language and did her best to deescalate the situation. "He's sleeping in his room; he had a meltdown I called spencer got in under control and he fell asleep"

JJ took a deep breath preparing for the arguing that would be following her statement "I want you out of my house in the next hour"

"I'm sorry what" Emily was completely shocked by JJs words

"I said I want you out of my house in the next hour"

"I can't do that"

"You will or I will have you arrested for harassment, and probably trespassing" JJ loved Emily she really did but she had the power here and she didn't want Emily there. "You have one hour to pack up your stuff and off my property"

"JJ I'm not leaving you"

"If you want to be arrested, be my fucking guest" JJ left Emily to lock herself in her room until she was gone or called the police- she wasn't sure if she would go as far as to call the police but it was definitely on the table.

Emily stood frozen in place, was JJ really kicking her out. JJ was not fit to take care of herself much less herself plus a 11-year-old. Emily wanted to stay but she had no doubt in her mind JJ would call the cops on her, her and JJ were best friends but Jennifer jareau doesn't lie about those types of things.

Maybe if Emily left for the night JJ would come to her senses, that seemed to be the best option as of now. Maybe she was a little over protective of JJ but she meant well- it was just she loved JJ- she really loves JJ.

Emily glanced at her watch she only had 45 minutes to get out before JJ called the cops. She walked around the downstairs grabbing any of her things she might have left, before heading upstairs and taking her bags.

As she carried her suitcase, duffle bag, and go-bag Emily couldn't help but stop and slowly push open the door to Bens room, he was still sleeping soundly. He still had Emily's weighted blanket but that was a small price to pay for his comfort.

Emily loaded up her car, taking one last look around the house, she wanted to stay with JJ and Ben she really did, but sometimes people need space, Emily just hoped she wouldn't regret giving JJ that space.

…………………….…

A/N: hello folks i had someone ask me why i always say folks, well there is a reason, several actually. i used to just say ladies and gentlemen but that excludes non-binary people and of course i don't want that

the other reason: i'm from the south

stay hydrated folks

NO COFFEE DOESNT COUNT

reviews are appreciated but not required ;)