raisons d'être

Disclaimer: I do not own Fruits Basket.
Title: raisons d'être
Authoress: ILB
Fandom: Fruits Basket
Pairing: Dog and God
Rating/General Warnings: 'T'-- Will contain a bit of coarse language, insidiousness (look it up- NO word describes Shigure better), and hints of physical intimacy
A/N: IMPORTANT! Even though I'm nearly certain that EVERYONE knows, I felt it my duty to mention that this may contain spoilers. (But as I said... Who doesn't know?) If you are an Akito fan and have no wish to have your visions and interpretations of him turned upside-down, I fear I must suggest that you find another story. -On a much happier note! This is my first Furuba fic,so I'm eager to see how I measure up.That's all; I'll be back at the end of the chapter! Read and enjoy!

xXx

FIGHT-Chapter One
Akito smiled ruefully, sitting alone and looking out across the gardens. She held a flower tightly in her hand, nearly crushing the stem with the pressure her small fist applied. She pulled off a petal and watched it flutter to the ground. "Loves me not," she whispered, as the soft, blood-red petal stained the cool, light-wood floor. With a feeble strength that never lacked in viciousness, she plucked the next petal. "Loves me not."

Her life had been a waste– a lie, a trumped-up excuse for an actual existence. She clung so tightly to her Jyuunishi– so tightly that it choked them and they struggled to get away. They fought to escape her twisted love– her twisted infatuation. She didn't understand– and she resented them just as much as she wanted to forever own them.

The next petal fell. "Loves me not." Pluck. "Loves me not." There was one left of the haggard, once-proud blossom.

She watched the last petal float on imaginary currents to the floor, landing on top of the others in a bloody-beautiful pile. She smiled in perverse pleasure at the bleeding flower petals below. She threw the stem off to a corner of the room and gently reached down and touched the red-silk remains with a tentative finger.

"He loves me not."

The kids were fighting.

Kyo was screaming– loudly and brilliantly really, like a raging fire– while Yuki was sneering, and Tohru sat in the middle of it all, eyes wide as she sputtered mindlessly, trying to keep the two boys from killing each other. Shigure smiled to himself. What could it hurt to indulge them? They might truly hate each other deep down– but maybe they didn't. (No... They did.) Fighting was all they knew– all they were ever destined to know of each other. And though it wasn't much, it was all the acknowledgment they had. Who was he to break such a binding cycle?

"Hmm. Tohru-kun!" he called cheerfully, voice as bright as he could tone it . "I have to leave the house for a bit. Can you mind it while I'm gone?"

She snapped out of her panic when she heard her name, and quickly scurried over to him. "Ah! Um, um, are you going out, Shigure-san?" Her head tilted the slightest bit to the side as she questioned him. It really was absolutely adorable, he had to admit.

"Yes," he said glancing around surreptitiously– even though the only other people present were Yuki and Kyo, and they had begun fighting about something else. "I'm going on a super-secret mission!" He put a finger to her lips. "So don't tell anyone, Ok?"

She opened her mouth as though to say something– surely something profound– but as though deciding against it, she tightly closed her lips and just nodded fiercely, her face stern. "I won't say a single thing, Shigure-san. I promise!"

He smiled kindly, resisting the urge he had to roll his eyes and chuckle. He put a hand atop her head and ruffled her hair gently. "Tohru-kun's a good girl." He smiled again– an empty smile, and headed out. He got to the door and stopped. Should he? He really shouldn't... Oh, why the hell not? He smirked to himself and called, "Take care of the house while I'm gone, my dear! Don't let those naughtykids misbehave!" He chuckled appreciatively as Yuki and Kyo forgot their feud and began shouting at him. They really were far too easy. Perhaps he'd call Haa-san later. Now there was a challenge...

His thoughts turned darker as he got further from his home. He knew why he was going; he knew what he had to prove. Control– even if it was subtle or unnoticed, possession of such a thing was something he prided himself on. He was the one working from the shadows; he was that unseen force in the family that sent a shiver down the more principled people's spines. His principles were simple: accomplish the goal at whatever cost, and cover your own ass. Quite a code to live by, wasn't it?

But he was beginning to let that control slip through his fingers. Such a thing had never happened before; he either succeeded or bailed out before the crash. Things hadn't changed, had they? He hadn't changed, and he was certain that... well, that the other party involved hadn't changed either. He needed to know that he was still in control and as unsuspected as ever. He wanted to be sure of exactly where he stood. After all, he still had things left to accomplish. And no matter what, he wasn't giving up. He would get what he wanted, and to hell with whatever obstacles dared to get in his way.

His mind was so consumed, he barely even noticed when he arrived at his destination. A maid smiled blankly in greeting and bowed. "Hello, Shigure-san," she said. "If you'll come this way... I believe that he'll be expecting you."

Akito sat alone in the dark. A perfect environment for such a dark soul. There wasn't any noise– only stark silence and the cheerless air in all that smothering darkness.

She sat, her knees pressed up against her chest. She was feeling poorly again, and it was making her even more irritable. The world was such a disgusting, horrid place; such foul inhabitants, too. Akito felt sick just from the weight of all her disdain.

She heard footsteps approaching, but paid them no heed. After all, only a complete idiot would dare disturb her then. The footsteps grew the slightest bit louder. After a moment she heard a voice respectfully call her name.

"Akito-sama?" the maid said quietly, entering the room. "Shigure-san has arrived; will you see him?"

Akito grunted her consent, and she heard Shigure shuffle in. She turned her head away from hin; she had no desire to see him or speak to him at all.

Shigure waited until the maid was gone, and then trudged over to Akito. She didn't look well– her health had probably taken another downward turn. He sat down beside her, so close they were almost touching. The pervasive silence reigned until he said softly, "Hello, Akito-san."

She didn't want to see him. She didn't want him to be there. Why was he there? Had Hatori called him? She was sure that she hadn't summoned him, not that the foul, disobedient dog would have listened anyway. He lived to torment her.

"Why are you here, Shigure?" she asked, finally looking at him.

He cocked his head to one side and smiled disarmingly. "To see you, of course."

She rolled her eyes, and sneered in disgust. "How kind."

Absently, he fingered a stray wisp of her dark hair. "Yes, I am, aren't I?"

Akito knew that he wasn't. "Right. And I'm just another worthless mortal."

He smiled condescendingly, as though agreeing with a small child. "I know you are."

Her fists clenched tightly together, the only immediate sign that he had made her angry. "You don't know anything," she spat. "So shut up!"

Shigure shrugged. "Whatever you wish, Akito-san." They sat in pressing silence for a long moment. Then he said, "You know, Yuki's progressing well at school. He has truly begun to flourish now that he's in a... healthier environment."

Akito realized he was trying to make her angry; she felt rather enraged, but refused to give him the pleasure of knowing that he had had any sort of effect. She was never quite sure how to handle Shigure; he was different from the others, and she had yet to understand why. So sticking with what she knew worked was always the plan. "Yuki will come crawling back to me one day," she said flippantly, as though she didn't care. "He can't stay away; I know it, he knows it, and all that's left is for it to happen. I am patient." He snorted at that, and she narrowed her eyes in response to his insolence.

"And I have... other distractions while I'm without him." She glanced at her companion out of the corner of her eye. "Didn't you know?" She smirked, looking far too smug. "I have Kureno to... keep me company."

Shigure didn't betray any of the feelings that raged inside of him. But that didn't matter– Akito was trying to hurt him, and she knew when she had succeeded.

"Well. I'm glad you don't miss him, then. He certainly seems to enjoy spending time with normal– or rather, un-cursed people. Especially Tohru-kun– he seems to care a great deal about her."

"Why should it matter?" she asked with a frown, rather put-out about her victory being spoiled. "I'm the only one who matters."

"Oh, you're right Akito-san. You're the only one who matters." His mocking smirk was quite infuriating.

"Stop it!" she yelled, hands clenched into fists of rage. "Why don't you mean it? Why do you sit and smirk and never mean a word you say? I hate you; I hate you!" She lunged at him, nearly screaming.

Shigure snapped. He caught Akito as she threw herself at him and slammed her against the wall he had just been leaning on. "Hate me?" he barked at her quietly– coldly– her eyes wide and her breathing rapid. He had both her wrists pinned above her head with one hand, the other near her throat. "Go ahead and hate me, dear, dear Akito-san. If you give a damn about anything at all in this world, then please keep hating me. It's only a matter of time- one day I will break you."

He shifted closer as she sat further back on her heels, the heavy, unforgiving wall preventing any escape. His knee was pushing into the fabric that had been stretched across her own two knees, his body so frighteningly close. She watched a strand of hair sway at his eye, unstill from his fierce movements. His free hand pushed into her throat the barest bit, and she whimpered lowly at the slight pain.

He had the audacity to look pleased.

"You can't do this," she said hoarsely. "I'm your god; I own you." She watched him, still aware that he was dangerous. "You forget your place, Shigure," she said, trying so hard not to be afraid. "But your efforts are pathetic and futile. A dog will always be loyal to its master."

He leaned closer, a look of loathing in his dark eyes. She was half-scared he was going to bite her. "He might not leave his master, but that doesn't mind he can't find himself a new bitch."

For a moment, Akito truly felt terror. Shigure leaned in as close as he could, his breath hot and heavy on her face. His jaw was clenched in rage, and she was sure he'd snap if the situation kept escalating. But as though he suddenly realized that his actions would have consequences, he dropped her wrists and backed away.

Her legs slid out from under her, and she landed on the floor with a soft 'thump'. Her back was to the wall, the whole room taken up by the intense presence of the man before her. "I hate you," she whispered again, softly and desperately. She shakily stood, leaning on the wall to support herself. And without another word, she left– fleeing from him as though he was holding her death in his hands.

Kureno lived in a different world. He existed inside-outside the reality of his fellow man, in a realm of secrets and solitude. His little goddess... She truly did lead a cursed life, deluding herself and falling deeper into a world of dangerous, consuming illusion.

Just then, the very object of his thoughts walked briskly past him. And she looked unusually distraught. "Akito?" he asked in surprise. "Are you alright?"

"Be quiet!" she snapped. "I don't want anyone to disturb for the rest of the day– do you hear that? No one!"

He watched her stalk away, wondering what in the world had riled her up so badly. It was only a moment later he received his answer. Kureno heard a voice– a rather familiar voice he knew would upset Akito– and ducked into another corridor, out of sight.

"Did you enjoy your visit, Shigure-san?" a young maid asked as he was leaving.

Shigure smiled serenely. "Oh yes; Akito-san certainly knows how to entertain a guest. We enjoyed ourselves immensely. If I'm not careful, all this fun will be the death of him."

The maid twittered a bit in rather unsure laughter. Kureno peered around the corner just in time to see Shigure's eyes gleam with a malevolent light. Whatever he was planning... Kureno knew that things would be coming to a boil.

...to be continued...

-AUTHOR'S RAMBLE: (A new feature I've added. Please note that this is entirely skippable!) WHAA! Oh my goodness I'm so excited. I love this fic! Whee! I hope that I portrayed the characters well- this is my own interpretation, so I'm not sure how I did in terms of popular-approach. I love Akito and Shigure pairings, because the characters are so volatile and... and dark and poetically haunting and... (sigh) beautifully writeable. Nothing actually happens in this fic. It's five chapters long, and that's it. All that I really write about is their relationship; nothing is resolved, no twists come, and all it really is is an excuse for me to scratch my creative itch. Thought I'd give you fair warning. Anyway, an update is coming soon. I eagerly invite you all to leave reviews! bye bye bye

The only respite you ever receive is knowing you own him; he can't ever leave.