raisons d'être

Disclaimer: I do not own Fruits Basket.
Date: February 5, 2005
Warnings: getting into the steamy stuff, but nothing descriptive and nothing that exceeds the rating-- very mild
A/N: Thank you to everyone who reviewed! I hope this chapter is good; I like some parts A LOT, but other parts I really wasn't sure about. At any rate, I hope everyone enjoys; don't forget to review, please!

xXx

SPITE- Chapter Three
"Akito-san," Kureno said politely, trying to lessen her rage. "I thought you... You asked me for this. What's the matter?" His hand found her cheek.

She turned away from him. "You could never understand! None of you understand me." She stood up, pulling on her robes. Kureno sat, confused and concerned, waiting for his goddess to give her next command. "I hurt, you fool; how can you know the things I suffer? It's not... it's not the same!" Her hands pulled into fists and her sides, and she squeezed her eyes shut.

"I don't want to see you! Just..." She took in a long, shaky inhale. "I'm leaving. You are free to do as you wish for now, Kureno. But be around should I need you."

And leaving him still half-clothed on the floor, unasked questions in the air all around him, she strode out of the room, trying with all her strength not to shed a tear.

Tohru opened the door. "Oh! Hello, Hatori-san," she said happily. "How are you?"

He waved her greetings away. "Honda-kun... Where's Shigure? I need to speak to the ba– To him."

"Ah, he's in his study. If you just go on in there, I'm sure he'll be happy to see you. Um... I, I know it's not polite, but he did say that I was to, er, bring any distractions to him at once. So I'm sure he won't mind the interruption."

Hatori nodded. "Thank you."

He strode purposefully into Shigure's study and found the novelist lounging in his office chair, feet propped up on the desk.

"Ahh, he–"

"Quiet," Hatori snapped, standing in front of him. "Do you actually think this will solve anything? You honestly believe that you can make a difference? No. This is ludicrous!" He leaned down, eyes wild. "You will only bring more turmoil to us all."

Shigure smiled, a twisted expression of sardonic subtlety. "Well hello Haa-san. Doesn't this promise to be a cheery visit?"

Hatori glared fiercely, keeping his composure as best he could. "I'm not in the mood for games now, Shigure. Just what do you think you're doing? What can you possibly be planning? What will torturing her like this accomplish?"

"More than you think, Hatori. I know you can't trust me, so I won't even ask. But, if you feel like being patient, you'll see eventually." He shrugged. "And who says I have a plan? Perhaps I just love feeding off the misery of others. I am evil after all, and she still refuses to break."

Shigure had known, from the moment he had first understood the concept, that he was not a "good" guy. He was the anti-hero– all but a villain. And his sins, though perhaps numerous, didn't weigh on the conscience that might not even be there. He was a private, selfish person, and... well, "the ends justify the means".

Hatori, on the other hand, was kind. He was the man who would pull the sword from the stone and rescue the princess. Shigure was the man who'd befriend him until he had enough power to further whatever evil plan was in motion then. Hatori saved the poor souls Shigure left in his wake. And it seemed that both were fine with that system. They worked together, good and evil, to keep the balance in the world.

But Hatori was becoming an obstacle. And as Shigure had proven time and time again, obstacles had to be removed. Did his no-heart principles include even his dearest friends?

"You can't believe that what you're doing is for the best. You're going to ruin more lives than I feel I'm allowed to let you."

"Oh, I'm not good," Shigure said with a fake smile, waving him off. "This is the part of the fairy tale when my villainous nature is revealed to all. I can't disappoint, now can I?"

"Bastard," Hatori spat at him.

"Now, now, Haa-san," Shigure chided, "watch your language."

Hatori folded his arms across his chest. "Just... Tell me what you hope to accomplish. Give your actions some justification. For weeks now, your shadows have been moving. Why?"

Shigure smiled sadly, looking off to the side at something Hatori couldn't see. "What are all the greatest stories about, hmm Ha'ri? Even the villains can fall in love I'm afraid. Maybe I am only thinking of myself, but it's all I think about. And regardless of why, I do it..."

Hatori sighed and finished the statement. "For her."

"Always. For her."

Akito was not difficult to find. Feeling bold, Shigure had snuck in to see her, telling the maids and other servants he encountered that Aktio had wished to keep their meeting a secret.

He swept into the room a wayward breeze, delighting in the pout on his Akito's ambiguously beautiful face.

"Is that you, Kureno?" she asked, sensing a presence with the pull of the zodiac near her. "I thought I said that I wa–" She nearly gasped as she saw Shigure in the rooster's stead.

"Hello Akito-san," he said, a dark smirk playing across his lips. "I suppose you weren't expecting me."

She looked around almost frantically, very aware that they were Alone. "Shigure," she spat, "why are you here? Why are you bothering me? Is there something you want?"

"Yes. There is."

He sat down beside her, instigating the contact that was so common in a visit with Aktio. While he had intended to appear submissive and cold in previous meetings, he then made no effort to hide the abusively adoring side of his-self that had become so prominent as of late.

Akito was wary. "What is it?"

He brushed his fingertips over her cheek. "I wanted to... spend time with you. Is that so bad, Aktio-san? Would you punish me for coming to your alter?"

"No," she conceded grudgingly. "I wouldn't punish you for doing your duty; though I wouldn't reward you either."

He needed to touch her. "Of course not." A warm hand slid down to her neck, a single finger tracing hot, searing circles on her skin.

She nearly shuddered. He knew he was winning.

His warm fingertips slowed down, the intensity of the sensation increasing tenfold. She couldn't think. Were they still talking? Did he ask a question? Was she answering? Her skin was so tight-- she felt an itch run down her body.

"Why are you doing this?" she whispered. "Tormenting me– what makes you think you have the right?"

"I only do it because I can," he said lightly. "If you didn't respond, then I'd be forced to stop. I always thought you enjoyed me."

"Idiot." She snorted in disbelief. He took her hand in his, knitting their fingers together. "You're tainted now," Akito nearly whispered. "Every time I touch you I think of... you touching her."

"You hate her?" It wasn't really a question.

"More than I hate you." She turned to look at his handsome face, something dark shining in her eyes. Softly, she dropped his hand and brought both of hers to his face. "And you know how much I hate you."

He pulled away from her. "Perhaps you just shouldn't think of that. Wipe the memory away."

Akito turned away. "I can't. I don't want you to have me; you had her, and I never needed you to begin with. I think it's about time for you to leave."

He graced her back with a maliciously amused smirk. "Oh, I understand. Worried that you can't match up? Worried that she's so much more of a woman? Is that what you care so much about?"

Her voice suddenly seemed to tremble; her throat was raw and red. "No– I don't care. I don't care." She pulled her knees closer, drawing into herself. "And in any case, I'm not..." Her voice was a whisper. "I'm not allowed to feel like a woman."

Shigure put his hands on her shoulders. When he spoke, his voice was like warm water easing down her body; his tone was light, but so, so warm. "Well. If that's all you're worried about..." Wearing a smirk she couldn't see, he leaned close to her ear. "Perhaps I shall take it upon myself to remind you." He gently– but insistently– pulled the cloth that covered her shoulders down to her elbows. "Remind you that you are, from the sweep of your hair to the arch of your foot, a beautiful... Woman."

She reached around to the back of his head, and grabbed a fistful of hair. He dared to kiss the skin of her neck. "Yes," she hissed, all in a breath, feeling still as though she should command. "I want you to... remind me."

He turned her head towards his with a finger under her chin, and kissed her softly, as though he cared– as though he were as gentle as his kiss. She turned to face him, drawn to his body's warmth.

Akito pulled a little at the hair twined in her fingers, her other arm curling around his neck. "Shigure... You taste like poison."

...to be continued...

-Author's Ramble: I don't have that much to say this time. I hope the first scene made sense to everyone. The second scene isn't really that important, but I included it for... some reason. I swear there was a reason. But the last scene... Ooh, I loved the last bit of it. Wasn't the last line of the chapter just awesome? I'm a bit proud. Anyway, thank you for reading, and I'd appreciate any response that you'd like to give!

The only respite you ever receive is knowing you own him; he can't ever leave.