Mob would go to sleep eventually.
Later, though, not now. She would go to sleep when…well when she felt ready to go to sleep. She didn't think that time would becoming any time soon. She just…needed to make sure. She needed to make sure that…well that everything was ok. Sometimes you could go to sleep one day and then the next people could be gone and…and things like that. She just needed to make sure, when she was done making sure she would go to sleep, but not a minute before.
She just didn't know when that time would come.
She knew that she should have been in bed. She'd been up later spending time with Serizawa but then he went to bed…and that meant that she needed to go to bed. In her own bed. In her own room. In her own house. This was….kind of her house….this was a Claw house. She was the Vice President of Claw and that meant that this was technically her house…and her room….and her bed too. Everything in Claw was hers and, therefore, technically, it was ok for her to be here.
That was what she would say, anyway, if Minegishi woke up.
She knew that she wasn't supposed to be in their room without their permission. She knew that if they woke up then they would be mad at her. She knew that, technically, her argument wasn't a very good one. Sure she technically owned this house, well her dad did, but that didn't mean that she got to just sit on the floor of people's bedrooms and watch them sleep. She would have been weirded out if someone did that to her…well dad sometimes watched her sleep…but at least he only did that when they shared a bed…
Mob probably got her weirdness from dad...yes…that made sense.
Maybe she could blame her weirdness on genetics then. She could tell Minegishi that her genetics made her sit here on the floor of their bedroom right next to their book pile and Shimazaki's clean clothes box, he didn't really like dressers and drawers, and watch them sleep all night like some kind of sleep…watching….person….or something. She could just tell them that she couldn't help but be weird and clueless because she was a Suzuki…but they still would have been mad at her…if they caught her. If they woke up. They hadn't so much as moved, though, since she had gotten here…which was good. Shimazaki moved, he turned and sometimes kicked, but Minegishi just stayed laying on their side….very stilly…
They were still breathing.
Right? Mob had been here for so long already….but she hadn't seen them breathe…but it was dark in here. The only light was what came through the blinds. She didn't know…well their aura was normal….she was being crazy. Of course Minegishi was still breathing. She was just acting like dad…well that made sense since she was his kid after all. She was acting all weird like he did when he was clingy….she needed to stop being clingy. She needed to get up and go back to her room...so that was what she did.
She should have been more careful.
In her defense it was dark in here. That was the only reason why she'd knocked the book pile down. It certainly hadn't been on purpose. She never would have done anything so dumb on purpose. She managed to catch the books before they hit the ground…but she was still really clumsy and dumb. She could have woken Minegishi up and then they would have been mad at her and then they would have said mean things to her again or even left…
She didn't know what she would have done without them.
But they weren't the one who woke up. No, they stayed sleeping. Shimazaki woke up. She could tell by his aura. He was awake now and he was looking for her….his aura was pulled really close. She put the books back in their stack and tried to walk away. She took light steps…short steps…the kind of steps that wouldn't make any noise at all. Shimazaki knew that she was there but maybe, if she was quiet enough, he would go back to sleep and then in the morning he would just think that this had been a dream. Then he wouldn't have had any reason at all to tell Minegishi what she had been doing in their room.
Mob should have known that she wasn't going to be so lucky.
The energy around her shifted, it all rushed over to the spot where Shimazaki had been, and then it shifted again as the world fell away beneath her feet. Teleporting when you didn't expect it was never fun…but she didn't freak out. Even when the carpet under her feet was replaced with cold tile…and the room smelled less like plants and smoking and more like…well….smoke. Not even when she had to grab the table behind her for stability because her feet didn't exactly know where she was. It took her a second to realize where she was.
Shimazaki had brought her to the kitchen.
It was dark, really dark, the only light was what came through the window and the time on the microwave. Someone had stopped the microwave with twelve seconds left on it…that was weird. That was weirder than what she had been doing. If Shimazaki said anything about what she'd been doing then she would point out the weirdness on the microwave. He would agree and then she wouldn't look so weird...wait, no, this was Shimazaki.
He didn't think anything was weird because he was the weirdest person in the group, maybe even all of Claw.
"Good evening, Ryou." Said Shimazaki. Mob blinked. She understood the good evening part but…why was he talking to himself? Also why was he talking so loud? Everyone was home and everyone was asleep. If he woke them all up then they would be mad at him…especially Tsuchiya. It was hard enough to get Mukai to sleep as it was. She wondered why he didn't just teleport them outside…maybe because he was in his sleep clothes…or something.
"What?" asked Mob quietly. There. That was how loud you were supposed to be when other people were asleep in the house. She didn't know what time it was but she did know that it was time to sleep and, yes, Shibata snored really loudly…but there was no need to get into a loudness war with him. There was no way to win that…and also loudness wars were really more of a Shimazaki and Sho thing, not a Shimazaki and Mob thing.
"Well you weren't saying anything so I decided to get the ball rolling. Good evening Ryou would work right now but so would something like sorry for waking you or, yes, I will help you steal Shibata's waffle iron. Any of that will do, really." Said Shimazaki
"Um….it's not evening, I'm pretty sure that evening ends around midnight…so good midnight, Shimazaki? I'm sorry that I woke you up and…and I really am sorry about that and I want to make it up to you but stealing is wrong." Said Mob
"I'll make you a waffle, how about that?" asked Shimazaki
"I…kind of like Shibata's better." Said Mob. She didn't think that putting caramels in a waffle iron counted as making waffles…but she wasn't going to tell him that. It was mean to make people feel bad about the things they loved and Mob was never going to be mean to one of her friends…even if he did teleport her without asking…but then again she had been watching him sleep so maybe they were even and she had nothing to…well…she had woken him up…
She would have to think about this some more.
"Way to rip a guy's heart out, Mob. First you wake me up in the middle of the night and now you won't even help me with a little bit of petty, waffle based theft? For shame. You bring shame upon my ancestors." said Shimazaki
"Wait…why am I bringing shame on your ancestors? Wouldn't I be brining shame onto my ancestors since I'm a Suzuki and you're a Shimazaki?" asked Mob
"Your being that shameful, Mob, that both sets of our ancestors are ashamed." Said Shimazaki with a shrug. Mob shook her head. He wasn't making sense again…but he didn't make sense a lot of the time so it was alright. Normal. He was so weird it was normal…she was glad that he was still normal. She knew what to expect from him….she expected him to make very little sense at all.
"I don't think it works that way." said Mob
"Well Toshi would probably know…if they were awake. Don't wake Toshi, though, whatever you need them for you can just ask them tomorrow. It took them forever to get to sleep last night…took me forever to get to sleep last night too." Said Shimazaki. She wondered if he was mad at her…she didn't know what she would have done if another one of her friends was mad at her. Minegishi had said that they were ok, they were still friends and stuff, but Mob had still made them mad….she was such a bad friend sometimes…a lot of the times. Waking people up…sneaking into their rooms…being herself. She wished that she knew what was the matter with her…but at least she knew how she could make it right. She wasn't afraid to apologize….so that was what she would do.
"I…I didn't need anything. I was just…well I put Sho to bed and then I put Serizawa to bed…and I know that I should have gone to be but I passed your room and I wanted to see if Minegishi was ok…but they were sleeping…and then I got worried that if I went to sleep I would wake up and they would be gone…I know it's dumb." Said Mob. A person had to be able to admit their own faults, dad had said, and also a person had to be able to learn from them. Pride was the downfall of every single great person in history. Mob didn't think that she was prideful. She had no problem admitting when she was wrong…when she did dumb stuff…
She did a lot of dumb stuff sometimes.
She figured that Shimazaki would have told her, too, that she had been acting dumb and weird. He never had trouble telling people when they were being dumb. He didn't, though, he just reached over and brushed some of her hair out of her face. Her hime bangs were getting too long, all of her bangs were getting too long, but she couldn't ask Minegishi to cut them for her. No, they had a lot going on…she didn't know what….but whatever was happening in their head and their heart was enough to send them running away…and she didn't want to make it worse. The last thing she wanted was to make them feel bad or stressed or…or whatever it was that they had been feeling to make them leave. She would cut her own hair later…she knew that it was getting way too long…
She didn't need to be reminded.
"I know it's too long." Said Mob as Shimazaki put her hime bang behind her ear. She could see his nails against her cheek. He really needed to cut his nails.
"What?" asked Shimazaki
"Isn't that why you're doing that? Because my hair is way too long?" asked Mob. Shimazaki twisted her hair between his fingers. She didn't know why he did that…she didn't know why anyone did that. Dad did that to her sometimes, back when they'd hung out, he would take bits of her hair between his fingers and play with them. Maybe it was just a thing that people with short hair did. They didn't have long hair so they played with hers…even though it felt kind of weird no matter who was doing it to her.
"No, I was just…thinking." Said Shimazaki. He touched her cheek before he pulled his hand back. He had been reaching out, not getting closer to her, and she kind of…she didn't know why she wanted to be near him…but also away from him. Far away. It was like half of her was telling her to stay right by him and the other half was telling her to go to her own house, her own room, her own bed…and just…to be on her own. She had no idea what any of that was about…so she decided to just stay where she was.
"What were you thinking about?" asked Mob. Asking Shimazaki what he was thinking about may not have been the best move. Sometimes he thought about normal stuff like songs that were stuck in his head and snacks he wanted to dip in chocolate…and sometimes he thought about mean stuff like switching street signs around and setting people's dogs free.
"You. How you're always thinking about other people and shit." Said Shimazaki
"Oh….ok…but why did that make you want to play with my hair?" asked Mob
"Because I like your hair. It's long and soft. Feels good." Said Shimazaki
"Oh…ok." Said Mob. She didn't think that her hair felt that nice…but maybe it really was a shot haired person thing. He didn't have long hair so of course he thought that hers felt nice. He liked to touch hair anyway, most people did, but he really liked touching hair. Back before Minegishi cut off most of their hair, they had kind of a boy's haircut now again he used to sit with them and touch their hair for hours and hours. She wondered if Minegishi was planning on growing their hair out again. That would have been nice, then Shimazaki could have touched their hair instead of Mob's, but she wasn't going to ask them about that. They were still upset from what happened, probably, and they didn't need the extra stress. Mob needed to learn to be less selfish. Her selfishness was what made Minegishi leave in the first place….probably….
She had to work on being a better friend.
"I can stop if this bothers you." Said Shimazaki
"It doesn't." said Mob. He stopped anyway. She didn't really care. The only thing that mattered was that he wasn't mad at her for waking him up.
"So…." Said Shimazaki
"So?" asked Mob
"I'm up, you're up, want to be up together?" asked Shimazaki
"I don't want to keep you awake." Said Mob
"I'm not going to be able to go back to bed tonight." Said Shimazaki
"I-I'm sorry. I didn't mean to wake you up and-" said Mob
"It's not you. I've been sleeping like shit since Toshi…well since what happened. Plus my whole sleep schedule hasn't ever been the most normal anyway." Said Shimazaki
"Oh….well I still feel bad….and if you want to hang out then we can. If you want to." Said Mob. She didn't know if she'd be able to sleep either…so being up all night kind of made sense. Hanging out with Shimazaki was better than lying awake in her own bed all night listening to Sho kick the wall and feeling dad's aura clinging to hers. Also Shimazaki was a really fun person to hang out with.
He was a really good friend.
"Of course I do, I'm the one who suggested it…now come on. Put some shoes on, we're going to go find fun." Said Shimazaki. Mob did as he asked. He teleported away, probably to put on real clothes. She wondered if she should have done the same…the putting on real clothes part. She didn't know how to teleport. She did know that maybe going around outside in her pajamas wasn't a good idea. When she and Shimazaki went out together he always told her to dress like she was older than she was. She didn't know where they were going….but she did know that she maybe should have changed…
She didn't have enough time.
She had barely gotten her sandals on when he teleported into the genkan. He was dressed….so maybe she should have been dressed too. It was faster for him to get dressed, probably, since he was a boy and his clothes were less complicated. He didn't have to think about his clothes matching, everything he owned went with everything else, or dressing for wherever they were planning on going….since he pretty much only had the same outfit over and over again….he was dressed like normal and she was dressed in her long blue nightgown, the one with the lace at the neck and the sleeves…the one that made her look even younger than she was…
He always asked her to dress older than she was, than her actual age, when she was with him…she really needed to change.
"Toshi's shoes…Hatori's shoes…Serizawa's crocs…who the fuck actually wears crocs?" asked Shimazaki as he felt all the shoes on the ground by the genkan. Mob handed him his with her powers.
"Serizawa says that he spent most of his life either barefoot or in slippers….so I guess that crocs are for people who spent most of their lives barefoot or in slippers." Said Mob as Shimazaki slipped into his shoes. She put everyone else's shoes back the way that they were. There was nothing worse than losing a shoe...well losing a phone…and also when you lost socks in the dryer. Actually the thing with the socks was the worst….where did they go? She didn't know…maybe she should have been wearing socks. High ones. She could feel how itchy her legs were getting….this was a long nightgown but someone might have noticed…if they were going to a place where people noticed these things…
She had no idea where they were going.
"That makes sense I guess. It took me forever to get used to wearing actual clothes. Mom mostly just dressed me in pajamas….it wasn't like I was going anywhere anyway." Said Shimazaki. Mob didn't want to talk about this, the sad things that happened to him, they were just too…way too sad. She didn't know why he talked about them the way he did, like they didn't matter, when they so obviously did. His parents were the worst parents in the world…even his mom. He talked about his mom like he loved her when, really, she was just as bad as his dad had been….Mob did not want to think about this or talk about it.
She didn't know what she would have said if they kept on talking about it.
Something that she would have regretted, probably. Mob didn't understand parents sometimes, how they could have treated their kids like that. Mob knew that when she had kids she was never going to hit them or tell them that they were mistakes or lock them in their rooms for years and years...and forget to feed them…and make them use buckets as bathrooms…and whatever else Shimazaki's parents had done to him. No, she was going to be a good mom to her kids, a better mom than Shimazaki's had been, and a better mom than her own had been…but that was years off. She was only twelve and she didn't even have a boyfriend yet. Maybe in twenty years, when she was Shimazaki's age, she could think about being a mom and how she wanted to exorcise all the bad moms from the world…but not now…
The last thing that she wanted to be right now was upset.
"Um…where are we going? Should I change clothes? I mean I'm in pajamas and normally you tell me to dress like-" said Mob. She wasn't the best at changing the subject but she thought that she did a good job there. They weren't talking about when he was a kid anymore, that was the point. She didn't care where they went or what they did just so long as they didn't have to talk about sad stuff like that. She'd had her fill of sad stuff for a while….even though she knew that she was being a terrible friend there. A good friend would have wanted to talk about anything and everything no matter how sad it was. She needed to work on being selfish. She was twelve, almost twelve in a half, she should have known how to be a good friend by this point in her life.
"I don't feel like being around people right now. Mind if this is kind of a lazy date?" asked Shimazaki. He touched her hair again when he said that. This time it was to take a piece from behind her back to play with it. She didn't get it. If he didn't want to be around people then why did he wanted to hang out with her? He was so confusing sometimes…but that was what she liked about him. No matter what he said or did he always made sense…mostly because she never made sense.
"If you don't feel like being around people then I can go home." Said Mob
"I feel like being around you…but you can go if you want, my heart can take it." Said Shimazaki
"I feel like being around you too. We can go wherever you want to go." Said Mob. She really didn't mind the way she was dressed….well she kind of did….but Shimazaki said that they weren't going to be going to any of their usual places. She liked their usual places but she was his friend and being his friend meant going where he wanted to go…wherever made him happy. He'd almost lost the love of his life after all. That was enough to hurt anyone. She didn't mind going places in her pajamas if that was what made him happy.
Even if those places were 7/11.
Usually Shimazaki took her to dark places. Bars and stuff. Places where the lights were really dim…dim enough that she could hide. That was what she was supposed to do when they were together, not draw attention to herself, since she was so young. She wasn't supposed to be in the places they usually went to…but this was a store and everyone was allowed in a store. So she didn't have to hide…even though she sort of wanted to. She could see her reflection everywhere. The front windows, the floor, the glass on the milk fridge….she could see herself everywhere….and she looked…
Kind of dumb.
Her hair was messy. All the spots on her face were showing. She was in her pajamas. She was glad that aside from the cashier she and Shimazaki were the only two people in there. She should have put some clothes on…people didn't walk around in their pajamas. These were sleeping clothes….for sleeping…which she should have been. She should have been in bed right now….but she didn't want to be…not really.
What she really wanted was milk.
But what kind? She didn't know. There was normal and chocolate and strawberry….and then there was whatever oat milk was…and soy milk, which was very gross and not at all drinkable. She needed to pick one….wait….no she didn't. Shimazaki walked past her and he had his arms full of cans…beer cans. She had money in her bag, a lot of it, so she could have all the milk she wanted…so that was what she did.
She got one of every single kind of milk.
Everything but the soy milk. She didn't know why they even made soy milk. She knew that some people were allergic to milk but at that point why not just never have milk again? She could understand how sad it would have been, never being able to drink milk again, but drinking soy milk…that was worse than drinking nothing at all. Like if you were stuck in the middle of the ocean and all you had to drink was sea water. She would rather have died of thirst than drank sea water…soy milk…the sea water of milk.
So gross.
"Will that be all?" asked the cashier. He was looking between Mob and Shimazaki. She didn't blame him. She knew that it was weird that she was walking around in her pajamas. She really should have worn some clothes…summer clothes. Of course Shimazaki would get looked at funny, he was wearing a coat in the middle of summer, and not even a light one. He was wearing a leather jacket even though it was still hot out. Tokyo was hot and sticky all summer no matter what time of day or night it was…but she wasn't going to say anything to him.
At least he had real clothes on.
"Yeah, give me a pack of those long Peace's if you have them and…Mob, what do you want?" asked Shimazaki. Mob looked up from her milk. She had been lining them up…maybe she needed more strawberry milk. She liked that the best out of all milks…but chocolate milk was good too…and real milk was the best for her. Also she maybe had enough milk…and anything that she would have wanted would have been milk based…
And there was no milk behind the counter.
There were all kinds of other things behind the counter, mostly cigarettes and vape juice, but some other stuff too that she didn't even know about. She mostly just knew about cigarettes, she had been smoking since she had been eight or nine, and…well nobody had ever asked her what she wanted. She usually just smoked whatever Shimazaki gave her. She knew about the different kinds but…well she didn't have much of a preference.
Was she supposed to have a preference?
"Um…same…the same as you." Said Mob. Minori had told her, before, that if she was ever out with a boy and she didn't know what she wanted then she should either just get the same as he did or get the most expensive thing. Well the most expensive things back there were cigars but she had never smoked a cigar before…so she was going to leave this to Shimazaki. He knew about this stuff, he was the one who had taught her about this stuff, and maybe…well maybe she should have paid more attention when he tried to teach her things.
She was such a kid right now.
She could see herself in the counter. She looked like a first grader. She should have put clothes on, real clothes, and makeup too…and nicer shoes. All the stuff that you had to put on when you went outside. The stuff that you had to put on to go outside when you were an adult…or at least not a kid. She looked like such a kid…no wonder she was being stared at. She hated looking her age. She wished that she looked the same on the outside as she felt on the inside. As old as she felt on the inside.
She probably wasn't going to be getting any cigarettes.
"You heard the lady, two of those long Peace's…and a lighter, too." Said Shimazaki
"Which one?" asked the cashier. He was still giving her and Shimazaki the same look. She wished that she was less clueless…then she could have known exactly what that look meant. He looked sort of like he was sucking on a piece of sour lemon candy…why? He put the box of cigarettes in front of her…so he didn't think that she was a kid….but maybe he still had a problem with the fact that's she was in his store wearing pajamas. She knew that it went 'no shirt, no shoes, no service' and she was wearing a shirt…a nightgown…and shoes…but maybe she should have been wearing nicer ones.
"Mob, you're the only one of us who knows what colors are. You pick." Said Shimazaki. Mob looked up. They had all the colors of the rainbow and even some with characters…ooh! That Hello Kitty one was cute…a Frozen one would have been better…but she had to be older here, old enough to smoke, and that meant no more characters or patterns…
"The blue one, please." Said Mob. She liked blue….plain blue was ok. Even if it was dark blue, not Elsa's blue, but….this was ok. This was nice. The cashier put the lighter down on top of her box of cigarettes.
"Do you and your girlfriend want anything else?" asked the cashier
"I'm not his-" said Mob
"Yeah, all the money in the register." Said Shimazaki
"I'm fucking with you! I wish I could have seen your face. If I wanted to rob you then you would have been robbed….hang on….I do have money…somewhere." Said Shimazaki. He felt his pants pockets, the front and the back, before taking off his coat and reaching into all of the pockets….the real ones and the secret ones he made in the lining. That was amazing, seeing how many pockets he had. It was cool, like he was a videogame character and his coat was his inventory menu. Well she thought that it was cool, at least. The cashier was giving him another look….one that Mob knew wasn't a good one.
Oh. He was wearing a short sleeved shirt…with a v-neck.
She could see the top of the dragon on his chest as well as all the ones on his arms. Some places were ok with tattoos and some places weren't…this was one of those places that wasn't. When she took over the world, well when dad took over the world, she was going to change the rules about tattoos. It would be ok to have them everywhere and anyone could have them, not just yakuza members. Tattoos were cool and it should have been ok to have them.
Even if you didn't like them then you shouldn't have bene going around giving other people looks for having them. It wasn't like someone else's skin could hurt you at all.
"Tell the oyabun that I already paid up this month." Said the cashier as Shimazaki found the pocket in his coat where he kept his money. Mob had her hand on her bag. She didn't know if it would have been impolite for her to just pay. She was the only one of them who could count out the money…but drawing attention to that would maybe have been mean.
"What?" asked Shimazaki as he dumped his money down on the counter. Mob reached over and started picking up their bags of snacks and drinks. That was at least one way that she could help.
"Inagawa. I paid this month. I don't know what his man does with the money but-" said the cashier
"If Hyogo's the one who's been shaking you down it's either gone up his nose or in his arm. That is if he'd still alive. Doi on the other hand pisses it away on hookers. Tanji….wait…ok, I know for a fact that he's dead. Dead and buried…well if you can call that buried." Said Shimazaki. Mob stopped what she was doing and looked up at Shimazaki. He knew people who had died? That was so sad…
"I didn't get any names. Now, please, if you and your girlfriend don't have any more business here…leave." Said the cashier
"He's not my-" said Mob
"Good luck to you! Try not to end up in a dumpster!" said Shimazaki as they left. He put his hand on her back, really low on her back, and led her out….even though she knew where the door was. She didn't need to be led. She could find her way around on her own. He knew that. He kept his hand on her back as they left the store and walked down the street. He didn't move his hand until they got to an alley. He turned her down into it…it smelled gross here…a rat ran by. Not someone's pet…probably not. She wasn't scared of rats, not like dad was, but she didn't want to be in a place where there were rats running around. She wasn't Sho. She didn't like animals that much….well she liked them…but not all animals….
"Shimazaki?" asked Mob. He still had his hand on her lower back. She didn't need to be led anymore…she hadn't needed to be led at any point. Why did boys do this? Dad used to lead mom places like this back when mom had been around. Maybe boys needed to remind themselves that they were bigger and stronger or something like that.
He may have been bigger than her but she was stronger…when it came to powers anyway…not that she would show off or anything. That would have been mean.
"What's up?" asked Shimazaki
"You don't have to lead me around anymore. We're here…I don't know why we're here but we're here." Said Mob. Shimazaki took his hand off of her back. She felt kind of cold there, now, but she would get back to normal soon. It wasn't cold out at all.
"Sorry. I didn't know that it bothered you." Said Shimazaki
"It didn't bother me…not really. I just meant that we're here so you don't have to lead me around." Said Mob. What she wanted to tell him was that she wasn't a kid and she didn't need to be led around like one. She was…well she was twelve…but also she looked older…maybe. She looked old enough to smoke and old enough to be his girlfriend…well she didn't want to be his girlfriend…and she didn't think that she looked that old…but still.
"Oh…well if I do something you don't like then tell me. Seriously, we both need to be on the same page about this shit." Said Shimazaki. She had no idea what he meant. What was there to even be on the same page about? They were in a rat filled alley. What other page could they possibly be on?
"What do you mean? Where else could we be?" asked Mob
"That's what I'm trying to figure out. I know a good place….well I know a lot of good places…but it's got to be a good place for you, you know? You're a different person from me and you're…well you're like Toshi but you're not Toshi…and I know where I would have taken Toshi if they were here and we were having a chill night or whatever." Said Shimazaki
"I'll go wherever you want to go…really anywhere that isn't here. I don't like this alley very much…sorry." said Mob
"No, don't be sorry. You're right, you're not an alley sort of girl. You're a fancy dinner sort of girl….or a drinking in the woods sort of girl…or one of those love hotels that doesn't have roaches sort of girl." Said Shimazaki
"Huh?" asked Mob. She didn't think she was very fancy…also she had no idea what a love hotel even was. She knew what a hotel was but she didn't know that they had those with love as a theme….how did that even work? Was it just Valentine's Day and White Day in there the whole time? But what if you were single? Or you wanted to bring your whole family? How did it work then?
"Just thinking of places that I'd like to take you at some point, that's all. When you're older and shit. Like in a year maybe? Or two? I don't know, I'm still figuring myself out." Said Shimazaki. He rubbed the back of his head while he said that, like he was trying to help himself think. She hoped that it worked. Maybe if it worked then he would have made more sense.
"Um…the woods are nice? I mean I'm not fancy and I don't know why I would want to go to a hotel when I have a bed a home I can sleep in…and nature is nice….but where are there woods in Tokyo?" asked Mob. Shimazaki didn't answer her, he just put his hand back where it had been and then the world fell away. For a second, or maybe less than a second, she was nowhere at all. There was nothing around her…just nothing. Darkness…blackness….no ground under her feet and no air in her lungs….just…a whole lot of nothing.
And then something.
Grass under her. She landed on her back. So did Shimazaki. There was grass and…she couldn't see anything. It was dark…dark in a way she hadn't seen in years. It used to get this dark around the Eighth Division on those rare times she went outside. That Division had been in the middle of nowhere…like she was now. The middle of the desert, of course, not the woods…that was the Seventh Division…but she had never been outside at night at the Seventh Division…
It would have maybe looked a lot like this.
Darkness. She could see the moon, sort of, it was a thin one. Not a lot of light. She had no idea where she was…she scooted closer to Shimazaki. He was sitting down…and his aura was all weird. She leaned against him. He may have been tired…hopefully not hurt…..but he was the one at an advantage here. She didn't know how to see with her aura, not like he could. She could use her aura to sense other espers and maybe walls and stuff but out here that wouldn't help her. Shimazaki was better at this sort of thing than she was.
He would keep her safe…not that she was scared or anything like that.
"Are you alright?" asked Mob as Shimazaki put his arm around her. He was still breathing very heavy…she had never heard him breathing like that before. Not even when he did his daily fifty pushups. He pointed over at the drink bag and snapped his fingers.
"Thirsty." Said Shimazaki. Mob didn't have to be told twice. She pulled the bag over with her powers, it wasn't that far away but she didn't think that he wanted her to let him go. His whole arm was around her and he was pulling her close. He needed her…and she would never get away from a friend in need. She reached into the bag and pulled out the first thing that she could find…it felt like a bottle of milk.
It was a bottle of milk.
"Beer, Mob, beer." Said Shimazaki as he passed it back to her. Mob reached into the bag again and felt around…all of these cans felt the same…oh! Beer had the braille writing on top. She found a beer and passed it to Shimazaki. He opened it and drank…and drank…and drank. He finished the can without ever once stopping for air. When he was done he crumpled up the can and threw it. She catch it with her powers and put it back in the bag with her powers.
Littering was wrong.
"Fuck….you're way too thoughtful, you know that?" asked Shimazaki. He wasn't breathing heavy again, that was good, but he was still holding her close. Mob reached back into the bag and pulled out another beer. He must have still been thirsty. He took it from her and popped the top opened….and then he passed it back to her.
"Here. Some of these are for you. I made sure to grab the ones that felt like Sapporos since I know you like that shit…I mean it tastes like piss but you like it." Said Shimazaki as he passed her a beer. This wasn't a Sapporo…and also it didn't taste like….how did he even KNOW what that tasted like?!
"Gross." Said Mob
"Good, we're in agreement. Sapporo tastes like fermented piss." Said Shimazaki
"No, I meant that it was gross how you know what that tastes like…you don't, right? I mean you're just saying stuff…right?" asked Mob
"It's been a long and interesting journey, Mob, that's all I'm going to say." Said Shimazaki. Mob stuck out her tongue. She couldn't help it. That was just….gross!
"Shimazaki!" said Mob. He laughed…LAUGHED! He laughed like this was funny….there was nothing funny about…THAT!? Boys! They were just…they LIKED being gross! She had no idea what she even saw in them, sometimes, no idea at all. She never would, actually, if they grew up to be like Shimazaki.
"Mob, come on, you know I'm fucking with you. I have no idea what piss tastes like. There are some lines that even I won't cross." Said Shimazaki. Well that was good…but still gross that he would even joke about something like that.
"That was gross, Shimazaki, don't joke like that." Said Mob
"Says the girl who drinks, and enjoys, bottom shelf beer." Said Shimazaki
"I like everything." Said Mob. That was true. She liked some things more than others but she had never met anything that she couldn't get down. Even gin went down…eventually. Gin went down better when it was in something but if she had a bottle of it and nothing else the she would drink it.
"Yeah but you especially like Sapporo. That's the shit I always get you when we go out. I have no idea why you like it. I've gotten you better shit." Said Shimazaki
"If it bothers you then I can drink something else." Said Mob
"No, no, it doesn't bother me. I like it when you're happy and, yes, there is a marked difference in your level of happiness when you drink what you like. I can sense it…hear it. It's like stirring a pot full of pudding…that warm stovetop shit…like….it's good. You know what I mean?" asked Shimazaki. She didn't get it. She saw auras, she didn't hear them, and no matter how hard she tried she probably never would. Dad had said that the way you saw an aura had to do with your primary sense. She wished that she could have heard what he heard…just so that she knew what he meant…
Well she kind of knew what he meant.
He meant that he liked it when she was happy, that he liked to make her happy, and she understood that. Friends were supposed to make each other happy after all…and he was a very good friend. He was always trying to make her happy, always getting her things, doing things with her, and taking her places. Even though he was hurting, the love of his life had run away after all, he was still thinking of her. He was such a good friend like that.
She couldn't have asked for a better, non-Minegishi, friend.
"I get it. You like making me happy. I like making you happy too….well I like to try and make you happy." Said Mob
"Well you succeed. I felt like shit…well I've been feeling like shit…but you make me feel better." Said Shimazaki
"Because I gave you a beer?" asked Mob
"Yeah and, you know, how you're always there for me and thinking about me and shit. You're pretty much the only person who's ever thought about me like this….like about me being happy and shit." Said Shimazaki
"Minegishi thinks about you and they want you to be happy." Said Mob. They loved him more than anyone else in the world…they just had trouble showing it…and if they had trouble showing it then Shimazaki would probably have had trouble seeing it. Mob needed to keep their relationship together. Shimazaki and Minegishi loved each other…and their love had to last forever. She knew that sometimes love ran out…and people ran out….but that wasn't going to happen to Minegishi and Shimazaki! She wouldn't let it.
"Toshi has their own shit going on…and they think that I'm needy. I don't even get it, that word. What's too needy? How many needs is a guy allowed to have?" asked Shimazaki
"I didn't know that there was a limit to how much you could need something." Said Mob
"Me neither…but I guess there is….God. I need another beer…or better yet whatever the hell is in the glass bottle that I got us." Said Shimazaki. Mob held her beer up with her powers and dug through the bag. She found the bottle pretty quickly…but she couldn't read it. It was too dark, she wished that she had a flashlight…but she did! She had a phone. She got her phone out and, finally, read the label.
Yay! Vodka!
"It's vodka." Said Mob as she passed him the bottle. Vodka was good because it didn't really have a strong taste…also you could mix it with milk and it wasn't gross at all. Milk and gin didn't work, neither did milk and sake, really milk didn't go with a lot….but it did go with vodka. Mob drank her beer down fast…well as fast as she could. She couldn't drink as fast as Shimazaki. She just ended up coughing.
He patted her on the back.
"Pace yourself, we've got all night….well I do. Your dad doesn't need me, specifically me, tomorrow so we could stay out all night if we wanted to." Said Shimazaki. He stopped hitting her on the back but he didn't take his hand away. His hand just sort of hung out there in the middle of her back. She didn't mind, it wasn't like he was going to poke her or anything, no….Mukai was the only one who did that and she was back at home where she belonged…because she was little….
But Mob wasn't little.
"You want to sleep in the woods?" asked Mob before she took another sip of her beer. She didn't try and go as fast as Shimazaki again but she did take bigger gulps than normal. She wasn't a kid…and also she wanted some of that vodka. Shimazaki was drinking right from the bottle and when he did that, well, it went quickly. It wasn't a very big bottle at all…she didn't know why they sold liquor in small bottles. It wasn't like it could go bad like milk did if you hung onto it for too long. The world was so weird sometimes….
At least Shimazaki was the kind of weird that made sense.
"I'm not going to sleep tonight but you can sleep here if you want to. It's really not that bad in the summertime. The winter on the other hand…you don't want to be out here in the winter. Last time I got dumped out here in the winter I tried to teleport right home…like an idiot. The actual city is still outside of my range….fuck me why did I try a direct trip?" asked Shimazaki. She didn't know if that was one of those questions that she was meant to answer. She sipped her beer to give herself time to decide.
She decided to answer him.
There were two people there. Mob knew that without anyone around to keep up the slack in the conversation it would be awkward…and the last thing that she wanted to do was to be awkward with her friend. No, this was a good night and she didn't want to make it bad…or to make it end. She would rather have been in the woods in her pajamas than in her bed staring up at the ceiling and worrying until tomorrow happened.
Even if Shimazaki kind of wasn't making a lot of sense right now.
"I….don't know? Maybe you were in a hurry to get here?" asked Mob
"No, no, that's not it…or maybe it is. I mean Toshi likes this place….and if Toshi were here then I would have been in a hurry…but you're not Toshi. You're you and….well you're you. I don't know. This place…I used to hate this place but then I brought Toshi here….but Toshi isn't here…." Said Shimazaki. Most of the bottle was gone. Mob reached over and tried to take it out of his hands. He noticed…but didn't pull away.
He handed it to her.
"Here. Sorry, I've been hogging this. You have some, you have some. You need this more than I do." Said Shimazaki. She felt his hand over hers in the dark, it was like he thought that she was going to throw the bottle away or something…he didn't have to worry about that. There was so little in here now…which was good. She was supposed to use moderation and stuff like Minegishi had said. They weren't here with her now…but she…well she still didn't want to upset them. They ran away when they got upset….which was a lot….but at least now she knew what made them want to leave.
"Um…I don't know about that…but thank you." Said Mob before she took a drink. She cleaned the top off with her sleeve first, of course, otherwise it would have been an indirect kiss like in manga…which was something that she wanted to do…but not with Shimazaki. He was the very last person she ever wanted to have any kind of kiss with. He was her best friend's boyfriend and the last thing she wanted to do was steal her best friend's boyfriend.
"No, you do. With all the shit you take from people I'm amazed that you don't drink more." Said Shimazaki
"I'm not supposed to drink more, it bothers Minegishi when I don't use moderation and I don't want to bother them. They're going through enough right now." Said Mob
"Toshi…yeah. Toshi has a lot going on but none of that shit's about you. Well they don't want you to end up like them but you know what? Drink to your heart's content. You only live once." Said Shimazaki
"But when you die you turn into a spirit." Said Mob
"So?" asked Shimazaki
"Well spirits are kind of alive….the powerful ones that remember their names and stuff. Not the ones that just sort of hang around…the ones that big spirits eat." Said Mob
"Being dead, even if you stay here, isn't the same as being alive. Don't get the two mixed up….and don't die, you hear me? Don't you die on me…not until it's your time or whatever…and don't eat the green berries. Trust me." Said Shimazaki
"Which ones are the green berries?" asked Mob
"I don't have a fucking clue. That's just what my dad said before he kicked me out of the car, don't eat the green berries you little mistake…you know what? Don't eat any berries." Said Shimazaki. Mob nodded before she took another sip from the bottle. Her aura was starting to show her feelings…that wasn't good. She was with her friend, she should have been happy, but now all she could think about was how mean his parents had been to him….how they'd hurt him….how if she had been there to protect him then she would have….how she would have exorcised both of his parents if their spirits had been there…or maybe even if they had still been alive.
"I won't." said Mob after she swallowed. Shimazaki's hand left hers….and now his arm was around her again. He pulled her close to that he could hold her better. She thought so, anyway, it wasn't like he was cold or anything. He was maybe just sad…she would have been too….especially if her parents had just dumped her in the woods to die when she'd been a kid.
"What's wrong? And don't tell me 'nothing' because I can so clearly hear it in your aura like…like if you were a really nice speaker…or something. You sound like…Helter Sketler! That's what you sound like right now." Said Shimazaki
"But you like Helter Skelter." Said Mob
"I do but that doesn't change the fact that you sound just like….actually, no, you're more like Day in the Life…yeah. Alright, fuck Helter Skelter. You're Day in the Life now…so tell me why already." Said Shimazaki
"Um….ok...I was just thinking about…just mean things. About your parents. About how they shouldn't have done that to you. I was just…you were a kid. You weren't useless, you weren't a mistake, you were just a little kid. You were their kid and you loved them but they were so mean to you…more than mean. My dad is mean but at least he never wanted any of us to die. I just…it makes me sad when I think about how your parents treated you. You didn't deserve that and…and if they were here, their spirits, then I would exorcise them even if they didn't do anything to me first….and if they weren't spirits then…then I was thinking that I would exorcise them too….and I don't like to have mean thoughts like that. I don't want to be a mean person….but I…I just wish that none of that bad stuff had happened to you and I wish that…that there was something that I could have done." Said Mob. By the time she was done with all of that she was out of breath. Some grass had grown under them, soft grass like they were sitting on a rug or something. She hadn't meant to do that…she smelled something good. There were these white flowers, white enough to cut through the darkness, everywhere….she didn't know what they were….Minegishi would have known…but they weren't here to tell Mob what she had done. She didn't know what these were but she did know that they smelled good.
So that made it ok, right? That she'd lost control of her powers a little...
Or maybe it wasn't. Shimazaki was being quiet, now, very quiet. He was looking at her, she could feel it, but she had no idea why. She didn't know if this was good or bad…she didn't know…she didn't know if this was ok. She wished that he would have said something…or done something….or something. He was just sitting there and staring at her….
She scooted a little.
That was enough to get him to move. He pulled her closer and rested his head on top of hers. This was ok. Dad held her like this sometimes…or at least he had when they'd spent time together. Those times might have been gone. She'd missed a lot of Sundays with him, before, because he'd been gone…she'd sent him away…but she still skipped Sundays even though he was back. She just…didn't want to hang out with him…but she did want to hang out with Shimazaki. Even though he was holding her close like dad did…even though he was kissing the top of her head like dad did.
Oh. That was new.
He kissed the top of her head…and then her forehead…and then the space between her eyes. He stopped there…she didn't know what she had been expecting. Of course he had stopped there. He obviously wasn't going to actually kiss her…so why was she leaning forwards like this? Why was she…well her brain knew that he wasn't going to kiss her but her body….could be kind of stupid sometimes. Weird feelings…these were just weird feelings. She got those sometimes for just about every boy. Sometimes Hatori even though they weren't in love…sometimes boys she didn't even know….sometimes even Serizawa of all people. She just liked boys…especially boys who were taller than her…and boys who were nice to her…
Shimazaki was nice to her, and he was taller than her, but she wasn't in love with him at all.
He pressed his forehead to hers. She didn't know what she was supposed to do now. Nobody had ever done this to her before, she had never seen this done before either, and she…she didn't know what to do. Her heart felt weird…a lot of her felt weird….but not bad weird. Just…weird. Kind of warm and….like she wanted something…but she didn't know what it even was that she wanted. She just knew that she wanted…she kind of wanted this to last for a while…but she also wanted him to let go of her so she could get back to drinking.
He let her go.
The space where his forehead had been pressed against hers was cold, now, or maybe that was just in her head. It was hot out, hot enough that she was sweating, hot enough that her nightgown was clinging to her. That made sense, it was summer, and during the summer even the nights were hot. There. Something made sense….which was good…because nothing else made sense. Not even Shimazaki…but in not making sense he sort of made a lot of sense. He was Shimazaki, he just did things, and….and that was normal. This was normal. He was normal and she was normal…
There was nothing about this that wasn't normal.
"Shimazaki….are you ok? Do you want some more vodka? Or another beer? Or…something?" asked Mob. He was being all quiet again…she didn't know why….but she did know that it was better when he talked. At least when he talked she could tell what was happening in his head. Now…now he was all quiet…and he was Shimazaki Ryou. He didn't…it wasn't normal for him to be quiet….and she needed him to be normal right now.
But that was her being selfish…and needy.
She had no right to tell him how to express what he was feeling. His feelings were his own and if he wanted to be really quiet and stare at her then…then that was fine. Dad did this sometimes and so did Sho. Sometimes a person had really big feelings and they needed some time to themselves…mom had said that….and…and even if she had run away it still made sense. Mob put a beer down in front of him and let him think…even though she wished that she knew what he was thinking about. She finished her own drink…and he didn't touch his…he was still thinking….
She almost finished the bottle. She left him some just in case.
He looked up at her when she put the bottle down…but that didn't mean that he was done thinking. No, she had just made a loud sound when the glass bottle hit the can. He heard very well, Minegishi said that he could hear like a safe cracker, even though she didn't know why he could hear like a safe cracker if he could just teleport into safes…not that she wanted him to do that. No, he could have gotten in trouble….well stealing was wrong but he didn't care about that….so him getting in trouble was what she worried about. He was…he was always doing crazy things…well now he wasn't doing much of anything.
He was just looking at her.
"I left you some vodka…if you want it. It's ok if you don't…and it's ok if you don't want to talk right now. I understand if you're sad or mad or…or anything. I won't bother you if you don't want me to…not until you're ready to talk." Said Mob. She wanted him to say something, she needed him to say something, but that might have made her too needy. She didn't want to be a needy friend, she wanted to be a good friend, and….and sometimes it was hard to be a good friend. Especially when she was so selfish. It was all about what she wanted…she wanted him to talk…she wanted him to tell her what was going on…even when it was obvious that he didn't want to talk…even when she told him that he didn't have to talk…she still wanted him to talk…
She really needed to work on how selfish she was all the time.
"Mob…never change." Said Shimazaki. That…was something, he had said something, but it didn't fit…or maybe it did and she was just clueless. Clueless and a little bit…well not drunk but…she'd had a lot. He was pulling her close again…she rested her head against his shoulder.
He kissed her forehead again.
"Really. You're just…never change. Ok, the shit you said about my mom was pretty…you know what? You didn't know her. If you knew her you wouldn't have said that shit." Said Shimazaki. He held her close and….and this did not seem like the time to argue with him that his mom had been a very bad person for not taking him away from his dad. Mob knew that she could never love a boy enough to let him lock their son away in a room for years and years at a time and make him pee in a bucket and stuff. She didn't want to know what she would have done in that situation…but she knew that it wouldn't have been good…but she also knew that this was not the time to talk about this. She didn't want to fight with him.
She wanted him to go back to being happy.
"But still…thanks for that. Saying that shit…thinking about me…caring about me…shit like that. You're always thinking about me and…I love that about you. I love you, Mob, you know that right? I love you like…well I'm not sure, actually. I know I like you a lot…and shit…I like being with you. I'll go from there." said Shimazaki
"I like being with you too, Shimazaki." Said Mob. She really did. They never fought…that was kind of a mean thought to have. She knew that she and Minegishi were still best friends…even though they'd had that big fight. They were still best friends and…and Mob…well she could have another friend. Not a best friend, she and Shimazaki were close but it wasn't like someone could have two best friend, but still a very good friend.
If she had been allowed to have a second best friend then she would have given that spot to Shimazaki….but that wasn't how it worked….one best friend per person.
"Ryou." Said Shimazaki suddenly. Mob would have looked at him if he hadn't been holding her so close that she could barely move. She would have to look at him with her aura…which felt weird….but at least she could sort of tell how he was feeling. He wasn't sad…or mad…he was…happy? Happy. That was it. He was as happy now as he was when he was with Minegishi…like those times when they listened to things together…or held each other on the couch.
Good, he was happy….she had made him happy.
"What do you mean?" asked Mob
"Ryou. You can call me Ryou if you want." Said Shimazaki
"I know that I have your permission. I've had it for a while." Said Mob
"Well…it would be…I mean you don't have to if you don't want to…but it would be ok if you called me Ryou." Said Shimazaki
"Ok, Ryou, um….do you want what's left of the vodka?" asked Mob. He did…she was happy that he did. She was happy that he was getting back to being happy. Maybe she was being selfish again. She didn't just want him to be happy for the sake of his happiness but also because his happiness made her happy. Maybe she wasn't as good a friend as she thought she would…maybe she wasn't a very good friend at all…or maybe she just needed to try harder.
That made sense. She would just have to try harder. If she tried harder then she would become a better friend…eventually.