It's Christmas Eve now, and I'm still trying to process that Jonah and I are getting a younger sister. It was already a big enough shock finding out that Mom was even pregnant in the first place, but somehow it's even more shocking to be getting a younger sister. I mean, how do you even cope with that at our age? It's not exactly normal for parents to be having babies while the kids are off at college. As admirable as it is for Mom to even do this at all, I still can't help but worry about her. A pregnancy at her age could be outright dangerous. I know it's not my job to worry about her, but after what happened with Van... watching him die of colon cancer, I'm now even more scared to lose her.

I try to shove my feelings way down while I'm with April. I don't want this reunion with her to go awry. I haven't physically been with her in a month. I'd hate to just unload all this emotional baggage on her like that. She doesn't need that right now. It's almost Christmas. Try as I might, though, she can tell I'm struggling.

"Everything alright, sweetie?" April asks me.

"Yeah, it's all good," I lie, exhaustion coming through in my voice.

I hate lying to her, especially like this. I want to maintain that everything's fine, but I don't know how much longer I can keep that up.

"I don't think it is, though," April ventures on. "You sound... tired. I don't know, I think you might be feeling stressed out about something."

"What makes you say that?" I ask, still sounding like I'm ready to fall asleep.

"You've barely said anything to me since you came home from Rutgers. I know something's wrong. You can just tell me, right?"

I let out a sharp inhale and exhale. "Alright, fine." I grab a nearby coffee mug and smash it down onto the floor, which startles her.

"Hope, what the hell? What's gotten into you?"

I don't know why, but suddenly, I just start crying. "Everything. Everything's gotten into me."

"What's the matter? You can tell me."

"I..." I take a deep breath. "You remember when I told you about my roommate Quilene? Well, she has what's called complete androgen insensitivity syndrome. The reason I bring this up is because she's worried that Jonah is going to break up with her if he finds out during sex, so we decided to tell him that she was saving herself for marriage so they would hold off on having sex. Professor Faulken told me that we should tell him the truth so he doesn't betrayed, but I don't know when we could tell him. So I'm worrying about that, and then there's the fact that Mom is pregnant. I just... so many things could go wrong for her, April. She could die, the baby could die, both of them could die... it just worries the fuck out of me." I start hyperventilating. "What the fuck am I going to do, April? The future scares me. I just... I just..."

I can't bring myself to say any more. I'm hyperventilating too much to even process words through my mouth. I feel April reach her arms around me and comfort me. I still can't bring myself to say anything, but I start to feel better with April's arms around me.

"Hey, hey, listen," April says. "You'll figure this out. Professor Faulken's right. You have to tell Jonah that Quilene's intersex. If he loves her, and I mean he truly loves her, he's not going to care about her insides not matching her outsides. He's going to care about her as a person. As for your mom, well, it sounds like she's perfectly fine. The most you can do is just try to support her through all this."

"O-Okay..." Those are the first words to escape my lips. "T-Thank you..."

Christmas is finally here. Oh man, I bet today will be so great. But first, I need to give Mom and Jonah my presents. Before I left Starbucks last week, I managed to buy some coffee mugs for them. I also managed to stop by a thrift store near Rutgers on 8 Stone St called Second Reformed Thrift Stop and get some vintage Polaroid cameras and furniture. Some of that furniture like inflatable chairs and fun phones and spiraled storage was clearly a relic of the '90s, but I guess I can't complain. After all, that stuff's over fifty years old now. Anybody would be a fool not to collect that stuff.

I've just gotten up on Christmas morning, and now I'm sneaking downstairs to see what everyone is up to. It looks like Mom and Jonah have come across the presents I got them, especially because Jonah is holding up the Garfield fun phone in his hands.

"Holy crap, this is so awesome, Hope!" Jonah exclaims. "How did you know I would like this?"

I just shrug with a smile. "Just a hunch. Did you check out your other presents?"

"Uh, not yet. I think I want to check out Mom's presents first. I wonder what you got for her."

"Just between you and me, I got Mom one of those inflatable chairs."

"Ooh, I bet she'd find that aesthetically pleasing. What color?"

"Violet, because it's her favorite color. Plus, it's all sparkly."

Jonah beams up. "Neato! I might try to connect that Garfield phone to the landline later and see if it works. But man, thank you so much, Hope!"

While Jonah fawns over the Garfield phone, I quickly stop by to check on Mom. She seems to have opened all of her presents fairly quickly, which is impressive considering she'll be turning 42 on New Year's Day.

"Hey, Mom, how do you like your Christmas presents?" I ask her.

"I love them," Mom replies with a grateful smile. "Especially your gifts, Hope. The inflatable chair you got me looks amazing."

"Told ya!" Jonah interjects.

I just pretend he didn't say that. "You really mean it, Mom?"

Mom nods at me. "Of course, Hope. I can't wait to place that in my own room. I love you and your brother so much, Hope."

"Love you too, Mom. Merry Christmas."

This Christmas has been going great so far. Maybe 2047 won't be so bad after all.