There were many things that Shimazaki Ryou expected to hear that morning, and this was not one of them.
The alarm on his phone telling him to get his ass out of bed, the rustle of his stubble against his pillow as he turned over to turn his alarm off, the creak of the springs on Toshi's side as they rolled over and asked for just five more minutes…these were all things that he expected to hear that morning. They were the usual things that he heard. Sometimes he heard someone, usually Toshi, waking up before him. Sometimes he heard Mukai shaking a sippy cup in his face and asking for juice. Sometimes he heard Shibata smashing and crashing whatever there was to smash and crash in the kitchen while he cooked. One time he'd even sworn he heard a peacock calling just outside of his window.
This, however, was not something that he had ever expected to hear.
"Wh-what?" groaned Shimazaki as he lifted his head from his pillow. Yup, there is was, the rustling. It was loud and annoying…but not loud and annoying enough to drown out what he just heard…or what he thought he just heard.
He must have been losing his mind.
Because it sounded like Sho had decided to not only let himself into his and Toshi's room, and after they'd had so many talks about why Toshi didn't like people seeing them naked without their permission, but to also wake him up at whatever ungodly hour this was to….well it had sounded like Sho had just asked him to sign his own death warrant.
Not going to happen.
"Wake up and kill my dad!" said Sho. He reached over to shake Shimazaki but his barrier got in the way. What the fuck?! That was the whole point of him and his job and-and-and what the fuck was he still doing lying in bed!?
"I think he wants you to kill Suzuki. Just a thought…now either do it or kick him out. I'm tired." Said Minegishi and they turned their back to Sho and Ryou. Whatever the two of them had going on could be done without their input. They had never had much of a taste for treason anyway. Suzuki may have been certifiably insane but at least he still had enough of his mental capacities to sign their checks.
"Sho, Sho! Let go and calmly tell me what you're going on about." Said Shimazaki as he pulled his arm free from Sho's grasp. The kid was getting strong, and not just physically too. He might have been able to break through Shimazaki's barrier if he'd really wanted to. He didn't, though, he was much more concerned with holding his tears in…poor kid. Shimazaki gave him a once over with his powers. He had some bruises around his neck but otherwise he was fine. Suzuki, at least, had gone easy on him that time.
Shimazaki would have taken the bastard out if he could have just for the way he treated Sho. He didn't have a snowball's chance in hell of beating him, though, so he would settle for being purposely annoying next time he saw him.
"I need you to kill my dad." Said Sho as calmly as he could. There. Now Shimazaki had heard him and it could happen and then he'd finally be free of dad! He'd finally be able to be happy! He could finally do whatever he wanted whenever he wanted and he could be whoever he wanted to be! There wouldn't be anyone to tell him no or where to go or that he wasn't gay…what the fuck even was that?! How the hell would dad have even known….no…he…he didn't get to decide that part of Sho's life!
He didn't get to decide any part of Sho's life anymore because his life was going to be over.
"Yeah…that's going to be a hard 'no' to the certain death." Said Shimazaki before he teleported into the bathroom. Hatori was in there taking a shower, he'd been perfectly capable of sensing him, but he didn't care. Sho did, though, and maybe this would keep him away. Kill Suzuki…where the fuck had Sho come up with a plan as stupid as that? As if anyone could kill Suzuki. He hadn't been exaggerating in all of those 'I am literally the most powerful man in the world so suck my proverbial dick' speeches. Shimazaki didn't stand a chance against him.
He was only the third best esper in the world and he wasn't too proud to admit that.
He wasn't too proud to brush his teeth while Hatori took a shower using soap that he KNEW for a fact wasn't his.
"What the hell?! Shimazaki, get out of here!" shouted Hatori as he grabbed the shower curtain and wrapped it around himself as best as he could…which may not have been the smartest move. The shower bar groaned, a ring popped off and hit him in the head, and he dropped his soap too. He couldn't pick it up because that would have involved moving and if he moved even one muscle Shimazaki would have seen him-
Oh. Right.
"Relax, it's nothing I haven't seen a better version of already." Said Shimazaki as he spread his toothpaste onto Hatori's toothbrush. He knew exactly who's toothbrush this was, he could tell by the ridges and where it had been in the toothbrush holder, and he knew exactly what he was doing. He was using way too much toothpaste, a pea sized amount wasn't anywhere near enough, and he was scrubbing the night's built up bacteria out of his teeth.
It served Hatori right for using his soap.
"You-you can't even see-" said Hatori
"That's a low blow for so early in the morning. Making fun of me for things I can't help." Said Shimazaki. Hatori hung his head in shame…good. Served him right.
"Sorry...wait…no I'm not! You just let yourself in here-" said Hatori
"You didn't make any serious attempts at keeping me out." Said Shimazaki. There were ways to keep him from teleporting into and out of places. Curse rooms, energy barriers, thick enough electric fields…all of that could and had kept him out…but Hatori didn't need any ideas. He'd just end up passing them on to Suzuki and Suzuki was terrifying enough as it was.
"You-you-this is the bathroom!" said Hatori. For any normal person that would have made something click in their mind. Something like 'bathrooms are private spaces and maybe I shouldn't be popping in on people in the shower' or 'maybe I need to reevaluate my life if this is what I think is ok'. Normal people had those sorts of thoughts. Shimazaki was the direct opposite of a normal person.
"I know, so get back to your bath…standing bath…shower! Get back to your shower and go about your business. It'll be like I'm not even here." Said Shimazaki through a mouthful of toothpaste foam. He leaned over and spat into the sink as Hatori tried to find words for how pissed off he was. Being friends or whatever with Suzuki had made him way too bold. Telling Shimazaki what to do…using his soap….no way! He missed the old Hatori, the one who shook like one of those tiny yappy dogs and squeaked like one too, not this new Hatori who acted like…like…a labradoodle! Yeah, he was a bold as a poodle but as…wait…no…not a labradoodle….
It would come to him eventually!
"You'er using my toothbrush!" shouted Hatori
"You used my soap so we're even." Said Shimazaki
"That's not how it-I was out of-" said Hatori
"Yes, that is how it works. Ask Sho if you don't believe me, he's getting ready to kick this door down." Said Shimazaki as he felt around for his shaving cream and razor. He had no intention whatsoever of growing a beard. He couldn't, for one thing, or at least he hadn't been able to ten years ago when he'd last tried. Beards were too much upkeep too, all that trimming and stuff, and he didn't have time in his day for that shit. Nope, shaving was the way to go. Toshi hated stubble, too, so they'd probably hate him with a beard. Mob…he had no idea what Mob would have been into. He'd have to see later. He really had no idea what her tastes in…anything…were…
But that was part of the fun.
He ignored Hatori and Sho. He let his aura wander over towards Mob. She was in the kitchen with Shibata, Tsuchiya, and Mukai…ooh! Mukai was being a little helper and stirring what he hoped was waffle batter. Fuck this waffle strike. Mukai's hand was fine and Shibata could always go off and buy a new waffle iron. He needed waffles, real ones, to live and shit. Mob liked them too. Her aura always sounded so happy on waffle day…not like now. Huh. So she finally noticed Sho huh? Either him or the way Serizawa was freaking out…fuck him for being loud and only that! Shimazaki wasn't jealous and Toshi could kiss whoever the wanted to kiss just like he could kiss whoever he wanted to kiss.
But he wouldn't be able to kiss anyone if he was covered in scratchy stubble…or dead because he tried to commit the ultimate act of treason.
"What the hell!? Get out! Get out! Get-" said Hatori as the door slammed opened. He couldn't really see without his glasses but, thanks to the sheer amount of red that filled the room, he didn't need to be able to see to know who it was. Not that knowing who it was helped, of course, because this was a bathroom not a bathhouse! Was nothing scared anymore!?
"Shut up! Stop freaking out!" said Sho as he finally got the door opened. Someone had put a new lock on it…well they hadn't done a very good job now had they!? They'd fucked up that door…whoever put that lock on was probably the biggest fuck up in the whole world! Probably even bigger than Sho was! And he was a pretty big fuck up! He couldn't even get dad to believe that he was gay! He couldn't even get his own dad to stay and…and at least hit him a couple times! That would have been better than just running away…running away and telling Sho that he wasn't gay…like he could decide that for him! Well he wouldn't be deciding anything since Shimazaki was going to put him out of everyone's misery!
Which he should have been doing already!
"I'm taking a shower! I'm naked-" said Hatori as he pulled the shower curtain tighter around his waist. Water was pooling on the floor, the bathmat was totally soaked, but that was the least of his problems. It was one thing if Shimazaki or one of the others saw him naked, they were adults, but Sho was just a kid…this was all kinds of wrong! There was no good way to take it…and Suzuki…he never took things in a good way anyway!
"Nobody cares! Just because I'm gay doesn't mean I like you like that! The only person who's ever wanted to see your dick was my sister so go and show it to-" said Sho as he tried to cross the room. He hadn't seen how slippery it was so he, of course, slipped. Shimazaki caught him, though, and…and now the whole left leg of his pants was wet and….and…and he just…he didn't have time for this!
"I-I'd never-" said Hatori
"Well if you don't want Mob to see it then maybe you should get probably dressed." Said Shimazaki as he caught Sho and put him back on his feet. He felt for Sho, he really did, but he also felt like being alive. Life was fun and he had plenty of living left to do. Sho would understand that once he calmed down. His dad was an asshole, true, but Shimazaki wasn't even going to entertain the thought of killing him. He liked being alive and Mob liked her dad…for some reason…and Shimazaki knew that if he killed Suzuki then he'd have no chance with her…not that he knew if he even had a chance with her yet…
He'd probably have a much bigger chance with her if he finished shaving already.
"Him? Him?! What about you?! Stop shaving and put clothes on! Before dad figures our plan out! Come on!" said Sho as he tugged on Shimazaki's arm…the arm he had been shaving with. Great. Pain, the smell of copper…a shaving cut. If Sho had been any other angry little man he would have kicked his ass out of the room…but this was Sho and Sho was practically his kid…so he was just going to smack him upside the head once…or twice…
Or thrice…but not four times because he didn't know the word for that and Toshi wasn't around to be his dictionary.
Mob was, though, she was coming right down the hallway…he grabbed the nearest towel and did his best to mop up the blood. He debated, as Sho hit him in the side, if he should have just wiped off the remainder of the shaving cream…which was worse? Half a face of shaving cream or half of his face shaved? Which would make him look like less of a moron…of course Mob liked morons, didn't she? Like Sho had said she used to be into Hatori of all people and Shimazaki had only met one bigger moron in his life and that was Serizawa. So she liked guys who were one step above Serizawa…not that he was even sure if he liked her…he liked hanging out with her. She was always so nice and she always thought of him…but she was still on the younger side….and she had never come out and said that she was even the least bit into him….
Why did this kind of shit always have to be so complicated?
Life had, at some point, gotten complicated for him. The kid who he thought of as his own was asking him to commit treason, Toshi had walked out on him, Mob had become appealing to him, and on top of all of that Hatori had gotten bold enough to not only use his soap but tell him what to do. God…thirty two had been such a weird age…maybe thirty three was going to be easier.
That is if whatever this shit was got settled by the time he turned thirty three.
"…can't believe you! You said that you were my friend and now you're ignoring me-" said Sho as he tried to tug on Shimazaki. Shimazaki was just shoving him away like…like he didn't even care! And…and he should have been able to understand Sho the best out of everyone else! He stabbed his dad when he was a kid and he said that it had been the best choice he'd ever made! Sho wanted to make that choice! He was going to have Shimazaki kill dad! He had to have Shimazaki do it…he couldn't do it himself. Big sis…she would have been so mad at him….it wasn't that he didn't have it in him to kill someone! Big sis would have just been really mad…or sad…or worried…or all three.
Like she was right now.
"Little brother! What's going on…in…here…" said Mob as she ran into the bathroom. She slipped a little bit on the floor…someone had been playing lake in there. That someone might have been Hatori. She corrected herself before she fell down…but she kind of wished that she hadn't. She wished that she'd fallen and hit her head so hard on the ground that she gave herself amnesia…maybe there was still time. That…was Hatori….and he was naked…she couldn't see…what she didn't want to see…but he was still naked in there!
"Mob! For the love of God! Get out!" shouted Hatori. Well now this had gotten a thousand times worse. Mob being in here was even worse than Sho…at least Sho was a guy!
"I didn't see anything!" shouted Mob as she turned around and covered her eyes with her hands.
"Big sis! Get out! No girls allowed!" shouted Sho
"I'm a girl!" shouted Mukai as she ran into the bathroom. Everyone was here so she had to be here too! But the floor was slippery….but she didn't fall!
"Be careful!" said Shimazaki, Mob, and Sho as they all caught Mukai at once with their telekinesis.
"Higher! Higher!" shouted Mukai. She didn't go up higher, though, she went back onto the ground…water! Water everywhere! Now her socks were wet…that was bad….no wet socks! And now it was dark too!
"No! No water socks! No dark! Let go!" shouted Mukai as she tried to get free.
"I'm sorry Mukai but I have to cover your eyes now." Said Mob as she made sure that Mukai didn't see anything that she wasn't supposed to see. Hatori wasn't their brother so that wasn't ok…and she wasn't even sure if it was ok to see Sho naked either…when was it not ok to take baths and stuff with your little brother? She didn't know…she'd think about this later. Right now she had to help Sho through whatever dad had done to him. It had to have been really bad if he was kicking in doors again…well she would deal with it. She didn't care how angry Sho was, how wet her socks were, and how much Mukai was struggling. She would always be there for her little brother no matter what!
"Hey-Hey Mob, how's it going?" asked Shimazaki as he turned to face her. That was polite. Mob was a real stickler for that kind of thing. She could be a stick in the mud about some things actually…but she could be really fun, too. She liked to party like Toshi…well actually she was more fun than Toshi. Toshi slipped really into dark places…so maybe he just liked hanging out with Mob. Maybe he didn't like her…well he did like her…but maybe he didn't love her…well he did love her…but maybe he didn't Toshi like and Toshi love her. He had no clue. This shit was complicated…and everyone crowded into this bathroom made it even worse!
Hatori thought he had the right to complain…fuck him…he was just cold, wet, and naked. Shimazaki was dealing with an internal emotional crisis and an external blood pouring out of his face crisis.
"I-I'm ok…just trying to see why Sho's so upset. How are you?" asked Mob. She had no idea how Shimazaki could have been so calm right now. He must have known what was going on…maybe because he was a boy an Hatori was a boy. Maybe that was it…she wished that she was a boy…but only sometimes, not all the times. Only now…if she had been a boy then all of this would have been a lot easier.
If she had been a boy then maybe she could have had a hope of understanding what Sho was going through.
She had seen his and dad's aura. She knew what had happened. Sho must have told dad the truth. Mob hadn't seen any new bruises or bumps or cuts on him…but she hadn't been looking at him for that long. She had to keep her eyes closed…and she had to get out of this bathroom…but Sho was in here and she had to be wherever her little brother was. Wherever he needed her she would go…no matter how uncomfortable being here made her feel…
Mob had never been this uncomfortable in her entire life.
"Been better." Said Shimazaki with a shrug
"Wh-wh-wh-" said Sho. He must have been losing his mind. They were having a conversation?! Like this was…was any other time or place?! Big sis….she was ignoring him too…well of course she was. She liked dad…and so did baby sis…even Hatori liked dad! Why?! Dad was the very worst person to ever live! He….he just…Sho didn't love dad anymore! Not at all! He didn't love dad and…and he would have done it himself if he had been stronger and…and that was why Shimazaki was going to have to be the one….that is if he ever stopped messing around and took this whole thing seriously for one second of his life!
"Can everyone please leave!?" shouted Hatori. He could feel more aura getting closer…and the house was shaking…what!? Was the bathroom just the place to be that morning!? Well…he could understand why. It was small and safe and private…well it had been small and safe and private. Now it was apparently the most social room in the house!
"I can't leave without Sho." said Mob
"Sho and mama! Sho and mama and…and you…and caterpillars…and Ryou…and Mine…and Seri…and Sho…people! Over there!" said Mukai. Those were all the people! Now that she knew all the people she could go! Right!?
"Yes Mukai, mama's coming to see…what's….what exactly is…happening in…here?" asked Tsuchiya as she took one step into the bathroom…and soaked her sock all the way through. That wasn't anything, she had other pairs. What was something, a whole lot of something, was the crowd that had formed to….watch Hatori bathe?
Just when she thought that she had gotten used to these people.
"Tsuchiya, you have to close your eyes! And Mukai's too!" said Mob as she felt Tsuchiya pulling Mukai from her arms. She made extra sure to keep her eyes closed…she could only afford to see auras right now…not that she could see much past Sho's aura. It was so bright and mad…she wished that he had picked a different place to freak out in. She couldn't even see how hurt he was…if he was this upset he might have even been hurt enough to go and see Fukuda….even though that would have been almost as bad as dealing with whatever punishment dad had given him…even though dad knew better than to punish Sho for being gay….
Mob hoped that, when she opened her eyes, Sho didn't have any new bruises…she really didn't want to have to leave her dad…even though that made no sense…love never made sense….
"Or you could just-" said Hatori as the house began to shake. He couldn't tell if that was Sho freaking out, Mob freaking out, or Shibata walking…and he didn't want to find out!
"Shibata, you'd better close your eyes before Mob closes them for you!" shouted Shimazaki. He didn't even need his powers to tell that Shibata was coming to see what the excitement was all about. Maybe he would be so delighted by this delightful craziness that he would do something about his self-imposed waffle strike…God, waffles sounded so good right now….with warm chocolate syrup…and sprinkles…and caramels…
"Why? What's-oh! Sorry!" said Shibata. He covered his eyes quickly. This was…not normal…this was what he got for thinking that this would be a normal day. Get up, make breakfast, go to work, come home, make dinner, hang out with his friends…this was supposed to be normal…
Nothing was ever normal around here.
"Shibata! Can you get everyone-" said Hatori
"Breakfast! I can get everyone breakfast! Right now!" said Shibata
"Good idea. Everyone to the table!" said Tsuchiya. She grabbed Shigeko by the hand and tried to tug her out of the room. She didn't move…not a single muscle.
"I have to be here for Sho." said Mob simply. The others wouldn't understand. They were all only children. She was a big sister and…and she was also like mom, too. Mom wouldn't have run away…well she would have….but she would have taken Sho with her…well she wouldn't have but…but Mob had to be better than mom. She was being better than mom. Just by being here she was being better than mom.
"No you don't! You don't have to be here for me! Nobody has to be here for me! Nobody but Shimazaki!" shouted Sho. He shouldn't have yelled like this. He shouldn't have yelled at his sisters and also Hatori was fragile…and he could feel Serizawa coming too and he was even more fragile than Hatori. It was like the time that he and Shimazaki played baseball in that store that sold nothing but fancy glass stuff….only instead of glass there were people…and they were breakable too…
The only person who needed to be broken into a million little pieces was dad.
"Hey, don't go dragging me into this." said Shimazaki. He held his hands in front of himself defensively. What he wanted to do was cover his ears. That fucking Toshi kisser…not that he was mad…was coming to see what was happening. So he did know how to leave his room. So he did know how door worked. Well then maybe he could have gone outside and found someone to kiss who wasn't Toshi…not that Toshi couldn't kiss whoever the fuck they wanted to.
Really.
"I'm not dragging you into anything! You're coming with me on your own!" said Sho
"Good! Everyone go!" said Hatori
"No, just me and Shimazaki!" Shouted Sho. Why was everyone here? Unless they were planning on helping him take dad down then they needed to go with Shibata and eat breakfast or…or whatever else they felt like going.
"Come on, Mob, how about I pick you up and-" said Shibata. He swung his arm back…a little too far. There was a gasp. He put his arm back where it needed to be. Right. Enclosed space…Tsuchiya could handle Mob. Right now he had to fix whoever he'd broken.
"I'm so sorry!" said Shibata as he turned around…not that there was enough room to turn around. He bumped into the hamper…and it tipped over…and now he had a load of laundry to do…actually that was good. That was really good. Now he had another excuse to get away from…whatever this was.
"Don't be sorry, be gone!" said Hatori
"Be gone! Be gone!" shouted Mukai
"Yeah! Everyone be gone…why are we talking like an old timey movie? We don't have time for this!" said Sho
"Because Serizawa hit his head and went back in time. Now be gone from this wash chamber my good comrades for Hatori is on the verge of having a good, old fashioned, heart attack." Said Shimazaki. Not his best work…but to be fair he had the beginnings of either a splitting headache or a migraine.
"I'm ok! Really! I just-just wanted to know what was happening since everyone was shouting and their auras were bright and…and also I smelled breakfast and I thought that I should come and join everyone even though Miss Suzuki didn't wake me-not that I need her to wake me up! I can set my own alarm now, well I always could, but now I remember to turn it on every night before bed. Routines are important for me, well they're important for everyone, but I read that-" said Serizawa. He knew that he was talking too much. He knew that he needed to shut up before he got annoying. He was annoying and nobody liked annoying people…but he couldn't do anything but talk right now. His options were either talk or shut up…and at least talking filled the atmosphere…the very awkward atmosphere…
This was weird…or maybe he was the weird one here since everyone else was treating this like something normal…even though it wasn't normal for the entire house to be crammed into the bathroom….wait…
The ENTIRE house!?
"Fascinating. Move please." Said Minegishi as they nudged Serizawa out of the way. they barely touched him but he jumped so high he hit his head in the doorframe. The house shook, a lightbulb burst, and water filled the hallway…and now their socks were soaked all the way through. Their grey ones with the Totoros for toes….great. Just fucking great…
It was way too early for this.
"M-Minegishi! I was just…goodbye!" said Serizawa before he ran away. His head hurt, he could feel the way his heart was beating right in the bump, which was better than feeling it in his chest. They had been so close to him…close enough to touch him. He knew that they didn't like him, they had said so in plain Japanese, but he still liked them….so the only thing to do, really, was to run back to his room before anything else happened.
"Serizawa….d-word it!" muttered Mob. So now she had two people to help…three, once she made it to dad. She needed to comfort Serizawa, fix Sho, and then….and then she could deal with dad and whatever he'd done…even if it meant leaving….leaving when their family had just come back together…
"Ok, ok, Mob's almost cursing and you people know what that means." Said Minegishi as they waved their hands in the air. This wasn't in an attempt to shove any particular person out of the way, no, just whoever stood between them and Mob. They may not have had the best range, aurally, but they knew how Mob's aura looked when she was upset…and they knew what she was capable of when she was this upset.
"No bath time." Said Mukai. She crossed her arms. They were in the bathroom and that meant bath time…and she didn't want to take a bath.
"Close but no. Come on, everyone, the peepshow's over. You don't have to go home but you can't stay here. That means you, Mob. Ryou, deal with Sho…and get him some ice for those hickeys. We both know he can't walk around like that. Suzuki is dense but he's not that dense." Said Minegishi as they took Mob by the arm. She rooted herself to the ground…so they pulled harder. That time she moved.
"Minegishi…I have to help Sho-" said Mob as she was led out of the room. She wondered if all of these wet socks were good for the rug…something else she would have to do. Fixing the carpet…fixing her family….there was so much fixing and….and she needed to get to it right now before it got even worse.
"Let Ryou handle it! I feel like this might be partially his fault anyway!" shouted Minegishi as they led Mob down the hallway. They had no idea what was happening but they did know that whatever it was it wasn't worth Mob exploding over.
"On it!" said Shimazaki. He let his aura follow Toshi and Mob down the hall for a second, just a second, before he got back to business. Right. Sho. He was pulling on his arm now…which was annoying…and Hatori was telling him to get out…which was even more annoying…and the cut on his face stung….which was somehow the most annoying thing of all. All of this annoyance was compounding...his head was pounding. He needed to get the fuck out of here…
Thank God he could teleport.
He grabbed Sho. He shook his arm free and then grabbed Sho. He held him tight as the world broke away beneath their feet. He was, for half of a millisecond, without a destination…which wasn't good. Last time he teleported without purpose he wound up displacing half of a wall. Now that was pain…and he didn't need any more pain in his life. Neither did Sho. If he was coming home with hickeys, so that was what those bruises were, then that meant that he'd been out with a guy. If he wanted his dad dead then that meant that Suzuki had finally put two and two together and realized that his son wasn't nearly as straight as the heir of the Suzuki family should have been. Fuck. Well…that was a good enough reason to try and put a hit out on the bastard…and if he'd been anyone else then he would have taken the job. Even if Sho had only been able to pay in hamster food and pocket lint Shimazaki would have taken the job. It was so…it was like the ultimate rejection…when someone said that something that was such a fundamental part of who you were was wrong….objectively wrong….
It sucked, it really did, but he had no chance of going up against Suzuki Touichirou.
He'd done it, before, tried it…and lost. He hadn't wound up with any scars, no, he'd fought well enough to make it even higher than them…but there was no beating Suzuki. All that shit he spouted off about, how he was a God or whatever, it was true. Nobody was supposed to be that powerful….but he was…and there was nothing that anyone could do about it.
Nothing but go to one of his happy places and wait out everything that Sho was going through.
"Why are we here?" asked Sho. He was tired of yelling. His voice felt tired, his body felt tired, and somehow his blood even felt tired. Like it was going way too slowly, like it had been replaced with syrup, the good thick kind. The kind that came from real trees, not that golden syrup stuff that Mukai liked. Every part of him was slow, and tired, and…and he just…he wanted to sit down…but there wasn't anywhere to sit down.
Shimazaki didn't have any chairs in his storage unit.
"Because I feel like my head is going to explode." Said Shimazaki as he picked Sho up and set him down on a box. It caved in a little but not too much. It felt like it was full of books…good. He didn't really care too much about his book. His records, well his surviving records….he could find those later. Right now Sho needed him. This was going to be one of those hard parts that came with parenting…but he was ready. He had this.
Toshi believed in him, after all, and he couldn't let them down.
"So go and see Fukuda then." Said Sho as Shimazaki sat him down on a box like he was Mukai or something…he wasn't. He wasn't a baby…it would have been a lot easier if he had been a baby. They didn't have any problems besides throwing up and needing diaper changes and also you spent most of the day sleeping…it was still easier than this. Babies never felt like…like they were going to…like there as a black hole inside of themselves and they were going to get swallowed up until they turned into nothing….
That was what he was going to be. Nothing.
"Hell no. if you're not going to see him then neither am I…and honestly it seems like you need him more than I do." Said Shimazaki
"…I'm fine." Said Sho. Shimazaki clicked his tongue and poked Sho on the neck. He would have had a whole swarm of goldfish in his stomach, normally, but this was not a normal day. Ritsu had pretty much tired all the goldfish inside of him out….and any that had survived were being sucked into the black hole in his stomach. Right now all Sho could feel was Shimazaki's hand against his neck, the way his skin felt, and nothing else. Not even a little bit of love…he felt nothing…because he was nothing….
He wasn't even worth beating up.
"Really? Because even I can sense these. I didn't know what they were before Toshi told me but they're deep enough for me to sense." Said Shimazaki
"So?" asked Sho
"So it seems like you had one hell of a night. Want to talk about it?" asked Shimazaki. Maybe if he got Sho thinking about good things then he could come out of this funk. He'd been annoying before but now…now he was sad and mopey…and it did NOT suit him at all. It was like there was some other kid wearing his skin…but not in a serial killer way…but it might as well have been. God…he wished he'd actually worn clothes or brought his coat or…or something. Sho needed….well he needed to talk…and then they could smoke…
Even though this would have gone a lot easier if they'd started smoking before the deep and heavy talks.
"…..no…..I don't." said Sho
"You sure? I'm not going to judge. If anything I'm happy for you. Way to be true to yourself or whatever. I mean I'm guessing that's what your dad freaked out at you about." Said Shimazaki. He put an arm around Sho…and found that arm being thrown off. Ok, the kid was strong…well look at who he came from. If Suzuki kept this up one day Sho wouldn't be taking hit out on him, he'd end up doing the job himself.
"He didn't freak out!" shouted Sho
"So, what, he just leapt for joy?" laughed Shimazaki. What did Sho think? That he was a moron? Suzuki was so deep in the closet he had to drag everyone else in with him. There was no way that Sho had stumbled home, he figured sometime that morning since he hadn't been able to feel Sho all night, covered in hickeys and reeking of someone else's fabric softener…ick…Costco brand.
"No! He can't jump because of his back…and…and he didn't do anything! He just told me that I wasn't gay and then he left the house." Said Sho
"Well how did he say it? Was he all 'no son of mine will be gay!' or was it more like 'you're gay, no way' or-" said Shimazaki. He nudged Sho in the side. Come on, this was good material…the best material that he could come up with on such short notice…but Sho wasn't even smiling. That was a bad sign…damn it…damn it!
No! He couldn't give up! He had to do this!
This was his kid. This was his kid in everything but blood. He'd raised this kid since he'd been eight. He'd been there to rub dirt in every skinned knee. He'd been there to wipe ever bit of snot from his nose into his hair. He'd been there to teach Sho all the important things in life like how to tell dog breeds apart by their fur, how to soap up a floor just so much that people slipped but not so much that it looked like anything other than a cleaning accident, hell! He'd even taught Sho how to smoke a joint and drink a beer….Sho was the closest thing that he had to a son and Shimazaki may have been the closest thing that he had to something approximating a dad…and he wasn't going to fuck this up…
He wasn't useless. He wasn't a mistake. He could do this…though it might have been easier if he hadn't been surrounded by the boxed up remains of his extremely traumatic childhood.
"He said it like…like he just….like he gets a say! Like he gets to decide this kind of stuff for me! He said it like…like I wasn't allowed to be gay…no. Not even that. He said it like…like I wasn't. Like he could change reality to where I wasn't or…or like…like I was nothing. He didn't yell at me…he didn't hit me…he didn't even talk to me. He just walked away like it was nothing." Said Sho. He sniffled as hard as he could. He was going to cry again…there was no point in crying. Crying would just make his shirt wet and his eyes all salty. He…he needed…he needed to kill dad! He needed dad to…to drop dead or be shot or poisoned or…or like if someone cut him opened and filled him with piranhas or…or hot sauce…or…or someone else's organs or…or…
Other stuff that Sho couldn't think of right now!
"Well fuck him, then, he doesn't get to tell you who you are." Said Shimazaki
"No, don't fuck him-" said Sho
"Well, yeah, he's your dad. That'd be really weird for me…also he's not that attractive and he always smells like fried eggs and ketchup." Said Shimazaki
"That's because all he eats are eggs and ketchup….but that's not the point! Don't fuck him, kill him, kill him dead!" said Sho
"Well I don't know how to kill anyone back to life so I suppose I only have the one option." Said Shimazaki
"It's not funny. I need him dead. He…he doesn't get to-" said Sho
"Ok, I'm going to stop you right there. Yeah, he's a bastard and yeah, he doesn't get to tell you who you want to kiss or fuck or marry or whatever-" said Shimazaki
"Me and Ritsu only did the kissing part!" said Sho
"Oh, so your boyfriend's got a name?" asked Shimazaki. Well this was a nice change of topic. Sho actually felt happy…well he was blushing and hiding the hickeys on his neck. He wasn't in the pit of despair anymore, though, that was the point.
"Yeah…Ritsu…his name is Ritsu….and yeah…he's my boyfriend. He asked me to be his boyfriend and then he kissed me…and then I kissed him back…and we kissed all night. It was the best night of my life and…and also it was the worst. I know that I'm a cheater and I know that I have to break up with Emmy really soon-" said Sho
"Sooner would probably be better than later. Here's the best piece of relationship advice you'll ever get, kid, mainly because me and Toshi are the only people in your life to be in a semi-functional relationship. You've got to be honest. You can't lie to someone when it comes to love. No matter what try and be on the same page. Even if you just want to be fuck buddies with someone you've got to make sure that they know that." Said Shimazaki
"I don't want to be…that…with her. I'm eleven." Said Sho. He stuck out his tongue. Even if he wasn't gay he wouldn't have wanted to do that with her.
"Well I don't know what you get up to when I'm not around. Apparently you're having wild nights with all sorts of guys now-" said Shimazaki
"Not all sorts of guys! Just…just Ritsu…and it wasn't wild. It was really…soft? Like…like his bed was soft and his skin was soft and…and when he kissed me it felt like I was full of goldfish and the goldfish were made out of cotton candy or…or pillows or….or something…and dad ruined it! He…if he'd hit me then…then at least I would have felt like a person….instead of….of…" said Sho
"You feel like everything, every single thing, about yourself is wrong in some way….right? And it doesn't feel like you should care, because your dad's a bastard, but you do. You care so much and the fact that you care makes you feel ever worse. You feel like you're just going to fade away and, also, throw up and you think that the only way to feel better is to make him feel as much like a piece of nothing as he made you feel." Said Shimazaki
"Yeah…that's how it feels…but how-" asked Sho
"Because I've been there before and, yeah, it sucks…and yeah, I didn't feel better until I tried to kill my dad…but I am not going to kill yours so stop asking." Said Shimazaki
"But he-" said Sho
"Is, as you so often put it, a dick hole's dick hole. That doesn't mean that he's worth dying over…and, yeah, he will kill me. You know it, I know it, anyone who's ever fought him knows it. Your dad will kill me before I even get one shot in." said Shimazaki
"So…what do I do then? If you won't kill him…and I thought you were my friend-" said Sho
"I am your friend. Just because I won't die for you doesn't mean I'm not your best friend…and anyway you can't take hits out on people. I have no idea where you rank but I know it's not high enough to have me take someone out let alone President Fucking Suzuki." Said Shimazaki
"But then…what do I….do? I don't want to feel like this…I want to be happy again…and I was so happy but it's like…like I'll never be happy again…and it isn't fair. I just…I want to be happy…right now…" said Sho
"Good. Then we'll be happy. We'll smoke whatever and drink whatever and take whatever…wait…no. No pills or whatever for you. Just good, wholesome, getting drunk and getting stoned. We're going to kill all of those feelings until they're dead, killing generally does result in dead things, and then…well we'll take it from there. I have no idea what's going on in your dad's head, I don't even think he knows what's going on in his head, but I do know what's going on in yours and I know that I need to fix it. That's what friends ae for." Said Shimazaki. He loved Sho like Sho was his own kid…and he was killing it at this parenting thing! Well this semi-parenting thing. If he'd been a parent then he would have been right there with Suzuki making Sho feel like crap…or not. No….he would have been a better dad than that…he already was a better dad than that!
He hadn't expected this, having to do some hardcore semi-parenting at whatever hour of the morning this was….but at least he was killing it! Even if he wasn't killing Suzuki he was still killing it!