By: Minuiko
Random speculation on my story: If he talks seriously, he cusses, and if he doesn't, he taunts. Is there any time Envy is nice? ;D We'll see, won't we?
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Chapter 3&
Envy was out of the hotel, by the riverside, deep in thought. It was already nearly sunset, several hours after he'd run away. So did Winry know he was a slave before his outburst? Did it matter? Either way, she would now. Would her opinion of him change any bit? Would anyone's? Now that he was calmer, he realized that his anger was unjustified. He probably should've let Ed explain, lame as his excuses were, and have done with it. Ed did promise to set him free after all. Nothing else mattered. He didn't know why he let himself get angered so easily by a master he didn't even know, who didn't even do anything.
Ed's voice pierced through his thoughts. "Envy! Damn it, where are you?"
Would he get angry at a master who cared? A master who cares? Don't make me laugh. But it was obvious enough how much Ed cared about his brother… What the fuck am I thinking of that for? To care, you needed to understand the other person. His little brother didn't look like the dark sort of person Envy was, had to be. No one understands me.
"Envy!"
No one can see what I see… Envy ignored Ed's searching voice. He would find him eventually. It wasn't as though the river was closed off to the public.
"Envy…"
Envy looked at the shadow beside him, startled despite the fact that he'd expected Ed to find him. His light voice was slightly thicker than normal, something he couldn't fathom. Ed sounded almost like… like he was relieved to find Envy. I suppose people would be relieved to find something that they spent a lot of money on just the day before.
Ed was now sitting beside him, close, but nowhere near touching. It wasn't quite friendly, yet companionable all the same. Envy growled, taking this as a sign of unwanted compassion, giving him an order without meaning to. He's supposed to be the master after all.
"I didn't ask you to sit next to me, Ed."
Envy had abandoned the Master Elric. What good did it do anyways? Ed didn't answer right away, instead giving a moderate sound between an exasperated sigh and a chuckle. Then he looked up into the river's calm, steady flowing and smiled wistfully. "Al… he used to come by the riverside, too… whenever we had an argument."
"So what? Is there a reason why you're comparing me to your fucking saintly brother?"
I'm not letting him get through to me… he's just going to end up throwing me away anyways… Ed's head was bowed, and he didn't show any outer signs of being bothered. Envy was getting ticked off. "Why the hell are you trying to find me anyways? I did say that I'd help you, so there, I'm gonna help you! You don't need any more reassurance than that, do you?"
Ed just laughed softly as he moved closer. Envy's eyes widened slightly. What was his master doing now? "You're not going to make this easy on me, are you? I just wanted to apologize… if I did anything wrong, if I did anything to upset you, I'm sorry. Okay?"
His hand was sifting through his golden hair, an unconscious action, it seemed. Envy, for some reason, found it unusually fascinating. "Al never gave me the chance to apologize first, so I thought that I should try when the person I'm fighting with is even more stubborn than I am."
"You're not property, Envy. I thought that you would've known that by now."
"Then why do I fucking exist?"
Envy was being irrational and hotheaded again, but how else was he supposed to react? Ed's nearness was getting to him. He'd never been that close to a non-hostile and non-aroused person before. He knew that his pulse was getting faster, and it scared him. Along with that, he was also painfully aware of his subservient position… Ed didn't seem to notice. His face was dangerously close to Envy's now, mere millimeters away, as he breathed, "That's a stupid question… why do I exist?"
This is going way too far. He didn't care if Ed was another boy; even if he was a girl, no one was allowed that close without meaning something! And he didn't want anything to do with Ed. His master looked half possessed as he looked upon Envy's pale face and slight frame. His eyes were a dizzying gold. I thought he wasn't interested? Envy scooted back a little and sat up straight as he snapped, "I don't know!"
Ed blinked, as he recollected where he was and what he was doing. "Exactly," he answered briskly. He stood up, and looked down on Envy at a higher elevation and grinned teasingly, turning into a completely different person, and Envy saw him for what he'd first met Ed as: a strong-willed, reckless young man, still not quite grown out of boyish fears and desires. "I thought you didn't want to be a slave? You seem to be admitting it rather easily."
Envy growled, "Fuck you."
Ed was right, though. All those years those bastards treated me like an object… if I give in to that now… then…
I'm admitting that they win.
That was something he would never do, not in a million years. Never. Never, never, never. He looked ahead, feeling a strange amalgamate of assurance and disturbance. He still didn't have reason to exist, and yet, he knew what he must not do. All the thoughts running through my head. Someday, I'll go crazy… trying to figure out why I exist. For now, I guess I have to stick with Ed. That's what a human does when backed in a corner, right? I won't be like them. Anyone who's ignorant enough to think that slaves are objects… well… they're the ones who're trash.
Ed didn't snap back, probably because he knew that Envy was saying it because he had no better comeback. Envy's eyes snapped to him curiously before he turned away from the river resolutely and clapped Ed on the shoulder, the friendliest thing he'd done all day, and told him to get back to the hotel.
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It had to do with Envy's near-violet eyes. Back in his room, Ed was tracing a finger along his own lips, fascinated and horrified. What was he planning on doing? What in the world was he trying to do? It was like he was possessed or something. He'd only went out to get Envy back and to apologize to him, and it somehow turned into a mix of words, taunts, and sexual tension. Thank God Envy backed away. He didn't want to think of what would happen if he'd actually kissed the older boy. Ed shuddered.
This is the weirdest thing that's ever happened to me… Winry kissing me doesn't count, that was when we were kids, and besides that, it was all one-sided and on her part… and Envy's a guy, for God's sake! He'd never liked girls, but he didn't think that he was… into that… what would Al say?
He instinctively ran his metal right hand through his hair. For some reason, nothing, hair for instance, would get caught between the gaps of his metal fingers when he did that. Winry's getting really good at this…
He said aloud, "I really need to stop thinking about things that are gonna drive me nuts…"
Like Envy… he was a slave that he was going to set free the instant Al was rescued… but Envy probably hated him for using him. He didn't think of it that way himself, but knew that the way Envy saw his buying him was partly the truth too… he'd just wanted to get his brother back, but to do so he'd have to use Envy, and Envy hated that. He was doing it in return for freedom… but Envy shouldn't have had the obligation in the first place when being a slave wasn't his own fault. So whose fault is it? Add to that the entire physical attraction… I'm not sure I want him free…
"What am I thinking? He deserves to be free…"
Stand up and walk… It was something he'd learned over the years, something he'd tell people who wouldn't let go of the past. It was irritating to see them helpless and not knowing what to do, when what they should be doing is moving forward. He hadn't realized that he was doing it himself. After all, you've got legs, haven't you?
"I'm going to concentrate on Al for now… we can decide on everything else later."
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The Next Day
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"This is the first time I didn't wake up feeling that I got knocked up and down..."
No pun intended. Envy pulled his old master's chains on himself, knowing that Ed would do it by the time he woke up anyways. He was going to be sold again… this time to the king. If Ed made him presentable enough. He smirked. It wouldn't be his fault if he wasn't taken. Then what would poor Ed do? Unfortunately, the "good whore" thing was part of his contract… and with that…
"Hey, you're up? … why are you wearing your chains? It's not even midday yet. Ed's still…" the voice trailed off uncertainly.
"Hey, Winry," he said casually.
"Envy… Ed's still sleeping…"
"Do I care?"
"But… he wasn't… planning on doing this that early…"
"Why are you even talking to me? You know I'm a slave."
He wasn't particularly curious; he just wanted to make conversation, however strange the subject matter. Winry smiled at him awkwardly. "Does it matter? Slaves still have feelings. I don't like toying with people's emotions… it's easier tampering with bodies, but wounds of the heart are harder to heal… so I want to try being civil to everybody."
"Except for me, is that it?" Ed had gotten up and looked like he lacked sleep. His blonde hair wasn't tied in its usual braid, instead left down and cascading over his back like a golden waterfall. "I swear, you're so sadistic, especially if I break a part of the automail…"
"Maybe I wouldn't be like this if you didn't break it! Replacing it is one thing… wait, what am I saying? There's no reason to replace it if you barely grow an inch every two years!"
"WHO'RE YOU CALLING AN ULTRA-MIDGET WHO NEEDS A HIGH-POWERED MICROSCOPE IN ORDER TO BE SEEN PROPERLY?"
"Well, you haven't grown much…"
"YOU! I THOUGHT YOU WERE MY FRIEND!"
Envy sat back; the chains were pulling him down anyway. It was funny how a single day of slacking off could make going back to his old life so hard. He then speculated on Ed's height, amused. Winry was right… Ed was unusually short for his age. Envy hadn't noticed it much, because Ed was younger than him after all, but if Winry was taller than Ed was, and she was younger than Envy, too... He smirked, remarking, "She's right, you know."
"YOU, TOO! I ORDER YOU TO SHUT UP ABOUT MY HEIGHT. DON'T CALL ME SHORT!"
"Why not, o-chibi-san…?" Envy taunted. If Ed really didn't feel right about slavery, then he had no obligation to do as Ed said. It was more fun this way. Oh, he may have had to do as Ed said in a more serious situation, but in one like this, he'd realized that Ed didn't pose much of a threat to him.
"I DARE YOU TO REPEAT THAT!"
"O-chi-bi-sa-n," Envy repeated, slowly enunciating each syllable. It just meant shorty. If Ed didn't overreact so much, Envy probably would've stopped using the term. He should've realized that by now, at his age…
Ed threw up his hands in exasperation and yelled, "YOU'RE ALL AGAINST ME!"
"Your height's the one against you…" Envy drew back. He was enjoying himself too much… This wasn't how he was supposed to be. The first thing I'm going to do when I'm free… is find Dante's whereabouts. Then… Murder and revenge wasn't new to him; besides, he would rather get revenge and suffer than to live life the way Ed was used to— undoubting, carefree... Ed didn't know how lucky he was. Envy's eyes widened. How on Earth did he not think of this before? I think I've found my purpose…
I'm going to find Dante. Then I'm going to kill her.
"That doesn't even make sense…" Ed stopped his rampage, undoubtedly noting how Envy had lowered his defenses for the first time… it was only for a little while, and now the walls were back in place, but Envy was. He rubbed the back of his neck as his eyes took in Envy's chains. "Envy…"
"I know."
"Why? We're not going until midday."
"It's to remind me of my position, Ed. You're gonna sell me anyways, and I'd rather do it myself."
"This again? Come on, you don't need chains."
"When you sell me? I think I do."
"But not now. We're going to get breakfast and take a trip to the post office and follow Winry around for a bit, then come back and have lunch before we 'sell' you. Take them off. That's an order."
Envy muttered under his breath before he took the keys that any other master would have stashed away and removed the chains. Ed grinned. "Come on, Envy."
Envy didn't answer. It was best not to get too close. Even if Ed's smile was infectious, his friends interesting, his ideals unique— he would still get in the way of his purpose. Envy didn't need friends. He needed a purpose. And that purpose was Dante. He nodded and followed Ed and Winry out the door.
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.:Owari:.
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A/N: Oh geez… I don't think this was well-written at all… there's a lot wrong with it, I just can't see it at the moment… --
Isisoftheunderground: Um… yes it does xD. Thanks!
Maruken: Greed is king (of Envy's homeland at least). I don't think I've said it… but, aw, your review made me blush xD. Thanks for reviewing! Ed/Envy does rock.
Zeila E: … I didn't expect you to watch Full Metal Alchemist xDD. Even if it is a little. Do you not watch because it's at 1:00 on weekdays or because you don't want to? Because if you don't, you're really missing out on an awesome anime. Anyways, yeah, I've been using heavier language, and I can see how you'd be surprised, especially with all my other, lighter fanfictions. I think I'm improving… still not very good at plot building, but improving. I'm pretty sure I'm okay on the grammar. You're right, I didn't think about Winry and her reaction too thoroughly, so thanks for taking the time to read and review! Hope to hear more from you later. (Constructive criticism is good)
Kireishi-chan: Kirei-kun! You like it? (nudge, nudge)… haha. I converted Jennifer to yaoi. And the game is called Blue Bird's Illusion or something… I could either send you the link or give you the music video that I sent Jen. It's so good… by the way, "Me, Jen, Aki, and Mar made it.. . boredom.."… don't send links on fanfictiondotnet, they don't turn up (there's nothing in your review). Ffdotnet (see? I have to type it like this…) screws things like links, italics, extra exclamation points, etc. up, so send it on AIM or something.
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Review! Constructive criticism needed badly... xD.