Chapter 4

It is common knowledge within the universe that robots are on a whole, useful. Unfortunately, some poor sod decided to make robots that were not only smarter than people, but be able to feel, almost the same as people. This meant that robots could feel happy, grateful, sad, angry or jibbed. Just over ten years ago the inevitable happened and a riot occurred in the Greystone Corporation where the robots rose up against their manufacturers. The planet the Greystone Corporation once stood, named Blueball on is now completely owned and run by robots. The robot beaches are especially popular, as they are the only with sand grains the size of small coconuts.

Adam was currently experiencing for himself why robots with feelings was a bitch of an idea.

"I don't want to go see him again!" Adam screamed in anguish

"But master Neitch wishes to see you in the bridge now." The robots chirped back

"But I don't want to see him!"

"But master-"

"Neitch wishes to see you in the bridge now, yeah yeah I get it!" Adam interrupted, rubbing his temples. He'd been arguing with these stupid robots for the past ten minutes. Neitch wanted him up in the bridge, but Adam didn't want to go up to the bridge. He rather thought had a small phobia of the hallucinated bridge. Last time he's gone up there Neitch had been attempting to fly the spaceship through the universe blind. Adam had decided bravely that he should leave Neitch alone to concentrate, as he was sure his constant screaming wasn't helping much.

"Master Adam, if you don't go to the bridge we will become severely distressed!"

Robots, if you don't leave me alone I will become severely aggressive…

"Master Adam? Please, we are only humble robots, we simply wish you to come to the bridge. (sob) Would you really deny us that?"

Adam felt his resolution begin to crumble. Stupid hallucinated guilt-tripping robots he fumed.

"Master-"

"ALRIGHT!"

Up on the bridge, things were going far better. Neitch had eventually found the button to rid the windows of their covers. He only fired off two missiles, released two bowls of petunia's out the side hatch, made three cups of espresso tea, re-wired one of the maintenance robots so it now believes its job is to make the floor dirty rather than clean, created a puppy, and teleported himself to the Bahamas and back before removing the window covers. Neitch was now, beginning a lazy game of golf in the bridge, using an empty fish bowl he found on one of the benches as the hole. The ships automatic flight drive had been enabled and was currently directing the ship to fly in lazy circles, just for the fun of it.

Adam cautiously entered the bridge just as a golf ball narrowly missed his head, whizzing off to smash a vase holing one the few remaining petunias.

Adam screamed.

Neitch winced. "Earthman! Up here!"

Adam, still recovering from almost being K.O'd by a golf ball stumbled wearingly up to where Neitch was standing poised to hit another ball.

Thwack.

Smash.

"What are you, uh doing exactly?" Adam queried

"Playing golf, what does it look like?"

"Well, like you're plying golf, but I uh-"

Thwack.

Smash.

"Enough small talk Earthman! We've got to get down to business. Now, as I said…how ever long ago it was, The Most Important Peron of Everywhere is looking for you and I have been forced to help you find him and talk to him…"

Adam stopped listening. He was not in the slightest interested in anything his delusion had to say, he was only interested on how to get rid of it saying anything at all. He was also quite sure delusions don't normally persist for such a long period of time but was fairly sure he could safely blame it on September. It was the first of September. He never like first days of month, and September had always seemed a bit iffy to him.

September in fact was an incredibly iffy month, not that Adam would know this, but September never used to exist in the universe. It only came into being one very hot day on Ulk, a rather disgusting planet when a very wealthy prince named September, sought out the leader of the universe and asked if he could buy a month so that he could be epitomized forever. The leader of the universe, who took the money in an underhand deal, said yes and promptly went off to spend the money on buying a luxurious house on the beaches on the planet Iris. The month of September consequently is rather ugly, complicated, confusing, jealous, wealth-orientated and on a whole, technically non-existent.

Adam, whilst the figment of his imagination Neitch, continued talking, was starting to worry. He had heard of single hallucinations lasting long periods of time, which usually ended up in the sufferer being institutionalized for the rest of their life. He started when the realization dawned on him that this particular delusion had been going strong for the past two days. Just before he really began to panic though, Neitch interrupted his rather faint-inducing thoughts. Thankfully really.

"So Earthman you see, we need to got to the planet Hoobulf, to see a friend of mine. Hopefully he'll be able to give us something to go on…"

Adam started again. He'd just realized that he had thanked a part of his delusion from stopping him from thinking about his delusion. That was rather confusing, and all together not good. Armed with that realisation, Adam promptly fainted.