PARTING
T E N D E R L Y
Oneshot
Written By Lvkishugs
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Disclaimer: I own nothing of KH, or anything related to KH.
A/N: Happy Birthday Anna, hun! Hope you have a kickass fourteenth birthday. x3
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I look stunning tonight. - or so the nurses that pass by your room to go to other patient's dorms have told me. I thank each one genuinely, though I am not quite positive if they truly mean what they are remarking, or simply have pity for the situation playing before them. I would like to think they're being truthful for I did try my best to look beautiful this evening; and if you must know, yes it was for you. I wanted you to be pleased with what you saw as you knocked on my door, only to open it a moment later. I have a feeling you might have, for you were easily delighted. But because we weren't granted that special moment that would have happened, I will describe what I am wearing, in hope you will open your eyes and see for yourself.
I dressed my heels in a lovely pair of midnight black heels (the ones you gave me for Christmas a couple days ago) with the satin lace that criss-crosses up my calves in a delicate fashion. My dress is as well simple and black, standing out against my porcelain complexion, as it clings to my figure as if it were skin, moving sophisticatedly across my body only to stop right above my wrists and again at my knees. I feel incomplete even though I am decked out in my finest; my hair is a mess, and you know how sensitive I am about that. But considering the circumstance, I highly doubt that you'd notice, or care for that matter.
I still can't fathom this happening. I just talked to you over the phone a few hours ago – three at most. The image of you and what is considered your lifeless form contradicts my thoughts, though I'm still hanging on to a hope that this is all a dream, perhaps even a sick fantasy.
W H A T IS IT RIKU
Did you know that today was our third anniversary of officially being together? I can still recall the fear that poured off of your lips as you spoke, as well the shakiness of your hand as it appeared to grasp tighter on mine as the moments passed. I remember laughing quietly inside as I gazed up to eyes that refused to look back into mine for fear of rejection. You were so cute. Not like you weren't always (exceptionally handsome would still be measured an understatement) but it was the idea that you thought that I would even think about saying no that I found amusing. I would have appeared more nervous in that scene along with you, for the way you spoke it sounded as if you were about to die or something along those lines, but Riku had told me of your plans earlier that day.
I hope you aren't angered with him now that I told you. He was only looking out for you to make sure you didn't flub up everything by saying some dense comment. (Judging by how you consoled me during my fit of tears with 'I'm just kidding! I was just seeing if you were paying attention to me or not!' after you said your mother hated me – he was right.) Looking back on it now, it was actually pretty humorous, but at the moment I was really heartbroken that your mother – even if it weren't true - would think something like that of me. If I hadn't known that that instant was years ago, I would have thought it happened just yesterday since it is still so fresh in my mind.
Isn't it ironic how when we look foreword in time, we believe it'll take forever, but when we reminisce in the past we realize it went too fast?
IT'S S O R A. HE'S IN C R I T I C A L CONDITION.
You know, it's funny, really. When you called earlier, I had thought it was the end of the world when you said that we would be late for the dinner. I know that it's really not that important if we missed our appointment, but I was just so angry with you. I had thought that maybe you forgot to rent your tuxedo, or that you had slept in and needed to get ready. And so the entire time, from after your call to Riku's, I harbored such a bitter feeling towards you. So bitter that I'm now starting to believe it was hate.
And I am so sorry, Sora. I am so sorry for even feeling that stupid feeling. I am so sorry for being so selfish and self centered about everything. I am so sorry for every little thing I ever did to disappoint or aggravate you. If you needed more time to get ready, then who cares! Tonight is just like any ordinary night, and for me to put some pedestal on it was beyond rude. And you didn't deserve it. Any of it. Especially me. You didn't deserve a girl who never appreciated you as much as I should have.
I hope you know that I love you, and if I could, I would switch places with you in an instant.
HOW CRITICAL ?
I always thought that we would get that happy ending we planned for. That we would have some phenomenal wedding that people from generations from now would inspire to have, and two beautiful children that would love us and their life endlessly. I guess I got caught up with the whole idea of true love, fate, and destiny because of our journey together. If we could survive that, then couldn't we survive anything that was thrown at us?
I imagined a house with blue shutters and a white picket fence around our picture perfect lawn. Even though I knew we would at some point argue and disagree, I thought that it would end within minutes with a 'I'm sorry' and this passionate kiss you only see in Hollywood movies. I could picture going out together in the day to either the beach, or the country club where we would eat those fancy little sandwiches and drink tea; while at night, we would go somewhere nice and elegant, somewhere only the rich and famous would even consider to eat. And for some reason, I believed from the bottom of my heart that we would have the perfect lives.
Oh, please Sora. Don't die on me. We have too much planned to do together before either one of us can pass.
THEY D O N ' T THINK HE'LL M A K E I T THROUGH THE N I G H T.
"Kai..ri," you said, your voice barely audible as your sapphire orbs blinked into thin slits.
"Sora, what is it?" I asked, somewhere lost between feeling anxiety for what was said to happen, and joy for the possibility that you might come out of this – even with the odds against you. "What do you want me to do?"
You were silent for a moment, struggling with the ability to articulate with vocal cords that was said to be injured from the impact of your crash. But as you slowly adverted your head until our eyes met, you spoke so faint like our childhood innocence had came to be.
"I oove.. ewe."
At first I wasn't positive if I heard you correctly for the fluorescent lights that beamed above us were so loud as it buzzed likes bees. But I couldn't misplace the words, no matter how hard I tried.
I love you.
"No.." I said barely above a whisper, scarcely managing to voice it out for it felt like there was a huge weight stuck in my throat: causing everything I wanted to say to suddenly became impossible to do so. It was time. You were going. I could see the fire in your eyes slowly burn out as the grasp your hand held in mine just as quickly began to soften. All the tears and all the emotions I had tried to keep in control were now leaving mascara stains down my cheeks, and there was nothing I could do to change this for Fate had betrayed me. The Fate that had gave you back all those years ago, was the same Fate that was now taking for back from me, but this time, for good.
"No, no, no. Not now," I pleaded, burying my head into your chest; thinking that by doing so, it will persuade however up there to let you live longer. "Give me one more night, please. I'm begging you. Don't leave me. Just..
S T A N D B Y M E.
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Happy New Year.
That's what they tell me.
Everything will be better once it ends.
Meaning, what exactly? I wanted to question, but was too afraid and too insecure to articulate. That my life now is not meaningful? That, after all my hard work and all my determination, that it was not worth the time spent?
At the end you'll start looking back at the beginning: at what you should have done, what you should have said, what you should have thought. But no matter how much you interrogate the past, it will never fulfill the void in your heart or mask the pain that was struck down on you viciously. But, Kairi my dear, you will instead have to grow stronger within yourself and overcome the intense, gnawing anguish until it has dramatically numbed to where you barely feel it – if at all.
But what if I can't? I ask, all sincerity laced in my words as crystal tears flow out of my purple-blue hues elegantly.
They pause, as if my uncertainty has offended them to the extremes, before firmly agreeing in an ocean of: 'You will.', 'You can.', and 'You must.'.
But sitting there, barely able to hold the ring I was told you were going to give me the other evening, I comprehend that they mean well, yet again focus on the truth that they do not understand.
Our love was grand, Sora.
Our love was true.
And I have no doubt that I will conquer this pain that has erupted from the bottom of my soul, however.. I will not be able to get over you. Though we have had our faults and our fights, you will forever be apart of me as I was of you. Right now I am feeling partial, because we are apart for good, but I have hope of meeting you and becoming complete once again. For are hearts are of one, and I will never forget that, even when all my memories fade and the names of people in pictures cannot be recalled.
So here I am, parting tenderly until the next life starts and reunites our hearts and souls.
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When
the night has come, and the land is dark,
And
the moon is the only light we see.
No,
I won't be afraid. Oh, I won't be afraid.
Just
as long as you stand by me.
If
the sky that we look upon should tumble and fall,
Or
the mountain should crumble to the sea.
won't cry. I won't cry. No, I won't shed a tear.
Just
as long as you stand,
Stand
by me.
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A/N: The New Year's part, I know, is late, but I wanted to add it in for an extra oomph. Hopefully it worked, heh. Please tell me your opinion on it since you've managed to read it. Thanks. :)
Thanks,
lovers.
Mwah.
- lvkishugs