I don't own Resident Evil like you should all know.

"You called, sir?"

"Kennedy, please, sit down."

Government Agent Leon Kennedy sat down on the chair in front of the President's desk. Silent seconds past as he waited for the President to speak.

"I know this is of minor concern, but I want you to take my daughter to the Christmas Ball next Tuesday."

More silent seconds past as a person came into the office holding a picket sign saying, "I'm in this fanfic!" only to be dragged away by security outside.

"Sir, can you repeat that?"

"I want you too--"

"Sir, it was an expression."

The President fidgeted with his pen. MORE silent seconds past and the picket guy came back, but only got a foot through the door before getting dragged back by security, again.

"Err, I was just joking with you Kennedy. So, will you do it?"

"What happen to the twenty-seven other guys in the agency?"

"They went insane from her continuos cries of help. I wonder how you're still sane, Kennedy, I wonder how."

It was Leon's turn to start fidgeting (with the package of gum in his pocket). He couldn't tell the President that he lost Ashley a 1,000 times because of how BAD the player was at paying attention to the stupid warning sign at the bottom (and because he had ear plugs in his pocket by pure chance). Never-the-less he made it out, out of pure luck that the player's friend took over.

"What about all the guys at her college?"

"she goes to an all girls college."

The President could here Kennedy muttering, "stupid d--- college," from under his breathe and had to agree. Why couldn't the students there (who are feminists) turn her into a feminist so he wouldn't have to bother and bring her to the ball? She would drive everyone there insane and the mental institutes are running out of space fast...

"So will you Kennedy?"

"What if I go insane?"

"Well, you didn't through Resident Evil 4, so why in a fanfic?"

"It's because fanfic authors are more evil than that d--- Wesker! They just don't have an evil laugh."

The camera (who knew we had one?) zooms out of the office and to a blonde guy listening outside the window (he should be thankful that the curtains aren't drawn open). He takes out a pad of paper and scribbles out quick note that says, "become fanfic writer and make Redfield do gay things." He was about to go home to his computer and type stupid stuff about Chris but then took out his little trusty pd again and wrote, "and also make Kennedy pay for calling me 'd--- Wesker.' He then lowers himself to the ground only to hear a little kid saying, "mommy look! It's spider-man without his suit! I didn't know he was a blonde! A very outdated one at that."

"It's your paycheque or the Ball."

The camera zoomed back into the office to see Leon being blackmailed by the President, who's using his paycheque against him. Poor, poor guy.

"Fine, I'll go to the stupid Ball, but don't expect me to like it."

Leon slammed the door behind him and was led out by police officers to his car because of all of those fan girls in those clubs in DeviantART.

"I really don't expect you to Kennedy, I really don't."

Other than mobs of fan girls, the camera picked up a blonde male being tagged along by a little kid that kept calling him "Spider-Man."