"Ashley, dear..."
Ashley turned around to the sound of her father's voice trailing off. She wondered if her father got her a partner to the ball yet, she hoped it wasn't that gay Ashford guy again...
"What on earth are you wearing!"
"It's my dear sister's dress, don't you like it?"
God, that's a bit to disturbing for the human mind. Everyone who doesn't want to know about what one little twisted mind can do, I suggest you don't read the following content. If you do though, well, you've come for a hell of a ride.
"That guy's got a nice ass..."
"Alfred! What the f--- did you just say!"
"Um, that pie's going to run out fast."
"Why, why did I have to exist!"
"Excuse me sir, would you wanna have some fun?"
"Who the fu--- Why the hell are you wearing a dress!"
"I thought it was very, very festive."
"... Right, I'm just going to slink in the corner and whimper like a little girl as I stare at you wearing that hideous outfit. It's much worse then that Valentine tramp."
Giggle "All right, see you."
"What is wrong with you? What the--"
Ashley suddenly remembered what the guy just said.
"Alfred, didn't you hear him? He made fun of your sisters clothing."
This little phrase may as well be the cause for the most embarrassing thing to happen to her in all her life, but heck. The results were funny.
"You dare insult of my beautiful sister! She shall rule you all! All of you I say! ALL! You will all bow down to her beauty and kiss the very ground she walks on!"
Alfred jumped on the guy's back and started to bitch-slapping the guy into paranoia of gay men and which Alexia's dress got ruined in the process. So he got a one way ticket to hell and back when he came home.
"What is it daddy?"
"I found a nice guy for you..."
"Do I know him?"
"No, I mean yes, I mean no, I mean-- whatever. I think you know him. It's the guy that saved my ass from being flushed down that evil toilet, that Kennedy guy."
Flashback, commencing. In three... two... one...
"Leon! Help!"
"Sir! I'm coming! I'm coming! Where are the-- What the hell?"
"I was watching Survivor, by the way don't you think that host is cute, and I was hungry. So, I went to the kitchen and got my self a big bowl of bean curd and two bottles of whiskey, Canadian whiskey at that. When the show ended I needed to go take a shit and well that's how I got in my current situation, ass half consumed by the toilet. So don't just stand there, help me!"
"... That's just too much information to digest in a single sitting. Wait here, I have to go get something, don't go."
"I just did."
"..."
" Hurry!"
"All right, all right."
Several minutes passed before Leon came back with the purple plunger that the maid kept in the closet. She looked suspiciously like that Alexia girl that Claire sent a picture of. She also fit the description Claire sent too, snobby, tramp, really weird brother, freakishly smart. Yep definitely.
"Just hold on for a few minutes, sir!"
Leon stuck the plunger a little bit over what was thought to be the President's ass. Well it didn't look anything like a part of the human body, it looked more like a very wrinkled peach-coloured prune. Actually, more like two of 'em, that's disturbing.
"AHHHHHHH!"
The toilet pulled the President deeper into it's inner workings, which were as unsanitary as Leon's locker.
"Almost... got it... Whoa!"
As the plunger finally got the President's little wrinkled ass out of the toilet, everything splattered all over the place, including what the President tried to flush down. That all somehow got on our poor President's ass saviour.
"Oh my God, oh my God. Oh my f------- God!"
Terrified about the human waste that he was coated in, Leon ran out screaming like a school girl who just saw my little pony in the shop window. He was going to take a very long, long shower.
"Leon? Why didn't you say so!"
Ashley just couldn't wait. She knew that Leon's heart was reserved for that woman clad in red, but heck. Who said you can't take the chance when you got it? She rushed to her room to find a nice outfit to wear. Probably a nice one with cleavage and a nice long skirt.
"You got stuck with the President's daughter?"
"Yup, it was the ball or the paycheque that's going to be in the bomber jacket fund."
"That's rough."
"You said it Luis, wait, Luis? Aren't you suppose to be dead?"
"In fanfics, anything is possible."
Leon looked out the café window, it was going to be a long, long day next Tuesday, Then he said,
"So the author decided to bring you back to life?"
"For various reasons."
Luis let out a snicker (not the candy bar) and was about to burst into laughter about what the author (which is moi) was going to do about our poor, naive hero for the chapters to come.