"Are they gone yet?"

"Not yet, amigo."

It was a grand day for Leon Scott Kennedy. First, he's blackmailed by the person he works for. Second, his new best friend (who was also his first best friend, loner) Luis knows something the author is about to do to him. Third, he had a run-in with a bunch of rabid fangirls who just so happened to be into Resident Evil.

"There he is!"

"Back off, sister! He's mine!" (I must REALLY stop watching Queen Latifa movies.)

"Off my BISHIE!"

Leon groaned, not only does he have to run another 5 miles, but he just so happened to remember who those girls were...

"Save me!"

As soon as Leon opened the door, Chris Redfield stumbled inside. Before he could blink, Leon' door was being abused by a conveniently placed hammer in the closet by Chris.

"Chris, I have something to say."

"Shoot."

"What the f--- are you doing to my door?"

There was a silent moment as Chris stood there trembling. His usually headstrong image deteriorated into that of Sherry Birkin, no offence.

"I saw, them."

"Who's them?"

Chris took Leon by the arm and pushed his face to the window. What Leon saw was a very horrid sight indeed.

"It's, it's, it's horrible!"

"Revolting I know, that's why I'm taking shelter in your house for a while since i can't run the 17 blocks to my house."

"When will they go away?"

"When they get their sacrifice."

What Leon saw was the most horrendous sight he had ever seen. There, on his front lawn were a bunch of rabid fangirls. (insert scary music hear) One was dressed like Ashley and had a bomber jacket over her that had been customized so that on the right side it said, "Ms. Kennedy." Two other's wore the same type of tube top and miniskirt that Jill Valentine wore in Resident Evil 3: Nemesis. Another wore the same outfit as Yoko, but she obviously dyed her hair since Leon could see that her eyebrows were blond and she was currently adjusting her contacts in a Compact Mirror.

"Look girls! It's Leon!"

"Back off! He's mine!"

"No, mine!'

"Mine!"

"MINE!"

After that, a cat fight ensued. The clawing, ripping, tearing, and slapping made the men feel disgusted, and a little bit horny. The girls didn't stop until they heard the police cars, who were obviously called by the angry mothers and the jealous girlfriends of the teenage boys gawking at the cat fight.

'Very interesting story, amigo."

Leon blinked, he hadn't realized that he was talking out loud. He peered behind the large billboard post and watched the police escort the fangirls into their vehicles. He heard them scream obscenities out loud and scream even louder when they caught a glimpse of him peering out behind the post.

"My bishie is looking for me! back off!"

"No, he's looking for me!"

"No, me"

Great idea looking out Leon, you just had to be curious, Leon thought. And what he thought was quite true.

In the unseen world of shadows, a blond man watches his target. Unblinking, he scans the area before he takes out his silenced pistol to take his target out-

"What are you doing Spider-Man?"

Albert Wesker sighed. This kid had been trailing around him for the past few hours, and he swore that he saw the mother bounce and rejoice that she didn't have to take care of him anymore. She expected the great Albert Wesker to take care of her own flesh and blood? She could've at least paid him for this.

"Look kid, why don't you go home to your mommy?"

"I don't have a mommy, I follow people around aimlessly and call the 'mommy' or 'daddy,' daddy."

Albert Wesker groaned, this was going to be a long day.