My Happiness, My Heartbreak
Author's Notes: Heh, two updates in a week. I hope that will compensate for the long wait during the holidays! A big 'Thank you' to my beta-reader, Walking Green Cucumber for everything!
Disclaimer: All characters and places are property of the manga-ka CLAMP and companies related to it. Only the plot and story is my intellectual product.
Chapter Five: The Rediscovery
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Touya-san, who usually looked so sturdy and tall, seemed small, frail and weak in the interior of the mint-green and white hospital set-up. The sunflowers on his desk didn't fit in too well, and the multi-colored balloons were deflating the moment they arrived.
It was the very first time that Sakura felt any real pity for Touya-san: she had been sort of concerned in the past, but not involved as she did now.
The past days had been fast: it was a week out of the ordinary.
Just four days ago, she had been returning from her measly job at the florist shop, and happened to come upon this man on the street. That same filthy street rat was now sitting beside her now, appearing to be more like her cousin in the clothes that Touya-san had lent him the night that they met.
Then she had spent three days keeping him from her landlord's ever watchful eye and alert senses, only to be foiled in a cleverly simple plan the night before.
And that same night, in the early hours of the morning, he collapsed, and an ambulance whisked all three of them to the nearest hospital.
Just before dawn, he awoke for a brief moment, trying to explain, only to faint once more for some unknown reason.
Now, in the afternoon, she was still waiting for him to wake up. She saw in his eyes the urgency of whatever he was going to tell her - it was between life and death.
She hadn't gotten any sleep in the past day, and neither had Li. The normally silent man had been even more so today, because he didn't reply to any question or statement. He acted as if the floor tiles were the most interesting thing in the world.
Earlier that morning, she had transferred from sitting beside him to sitting on the couch opposite him. When she asked him if he was hungry, he just shrugged.
Giving up once more on her companion, Sakura once more turned her eyes to the hospital bed. Against the harsh lighting of fluorescent bulbs and the dim starkness of the clouded sky between the window curtains and blinds, everything seemed too different.
Sakura was skipping two classes for college today - it wouldn't matter, it was almost the end of her year anyway.
2:54 PM. Sakura yawned, feeling her eyes drooping and her eyelids dropping again. Finally giving up herself, she crawled up on the sofa and quickly drifted off to sleep.
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Li knew time was running out. Touya-san's second loss of consciousness had bought him some time, but he wouldn't remain in that state forever.
Looking at his borrowed shoes, he wondered what to do.
What can I do?
In his deep thinking he didn't notice that Sakura had fallen asleep on the other sofa. Brushing the messed bangs from his forehead, he returned to his thinking stance.
Can I say it at this point? Will it do any good?
Rubbing his head in frustration, he turned for guidance to the bathroom mirror. Carefully standing up as to not make so much noise, he walked to the door leading to the restroom quietly, with practiced ease.
As he faced himself in the mirror, he remembered something from long, long ago.
'You'll be a handsome young man someday, Syaoran. I can't wait till the day that my pretty little boy will finally grow up.'
Suddenly attacked by a migraine, he settled to sit on the toilet bowl with the lid closed. Massaging the pain away, he realized that his mother's wish would never be fulfilled.
Because she's dead.
As he returned to the main room, he had one last glance at himself in the reflective glass. 'A handsome young man for sure, and you'll meet your lovely match one day…'
He bowed his head, covering his face with his hair so that it was no longer visible in the mirror. It would never happen.
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Sakura woke up to silence. It was perfect silence. The raindrops were completely quiet, and the airconditioning made no sound.
Her first thought was Touya-san. He was there, thankfully less pale than before though he was shades lighter than he was supposed to be. But then she sensed an emptiness. Looking straight ahead, she noticed that the sofa where Li was sitting on was empty.
Sitting upright almost instantly, she checked the bathroom and the hallway outside the room. Trying to calm herself down, she half-heartedly persuaded herself that he had just gone out for some air.
Forcing herself back down on the couch, she busied herself with attaching and reattaching her watch. The glowing digits read 7:43 PM.
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There was a knocking sound from the door. Sakura felt her neck creak, and realized that she must have fallen asleep again. Pushing herself up from her lazy position, she ran to the door. It must be Li!
"Good evening, this is Mitokono Touya-san's meal."
Her spirits went low, and she snatched a peek at her watch while the nurse set up the table. It was 9:01 PM. That's a one hour and a half walk!
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As the drops of water fell heavily on his face, he wondered if this was the right path to take. From the very beginning he didn't feel very comfortable taking advantage of 'charity', but once he realized this important fact on that second day - he knew it was trouble coming.
To think that he was only brave enough to return to the streets at this point.
Already soaked to the bone, he thought of what Sakura would do once she found out he was gone. He wished that she would sleep for a little bit longer, enough for him to disappear far enough - but even that wouldn't last forever.
The real problem was Touya-san. Was it really…
Li shrugged the idea off. It was impossible. He lost his memory a long time ago, it wasn't a big probability that he would recover it now. Still, the young man decided not to risk his chances, and planned his next step to leave the city.
In all the improvements in the past few days, Li had forgotten one not-quite-little problem.
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The rain stung her eyes and skin, and the short-sleeved blouse she was wearing wasn't helping to block out the cold at all. Blinking through the water in her eyes, she tried to spot Li among a hundred strangers hurrying home through the downpour. She was unsuccessful.
At this point it was impossible to find one man in a large city such as this one. Sakura unwillingly turned back to the hospital, hoping she could have some towels from the staff.
But as she entered the doors of the building, there was the attending nurse who rushed immediately to her. "You're the relative of Mitokono Touya-san?" She nodded quickly, and in a blink the nurse was dragging her by the hand up the stairs to his room.
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Shit.
He ran, and ran, and ran, shocked at what was taking place.
'You have such a different, unique face Syaoran…it can stand out. You got that from your father…but your hair is definitely my father's…'
His mother's words resounded in his head, an unlikely and unhelpful mantra that kept on repeating himself. It was distracting and useless to have a saddening quote in your head when a patrol car was chasing you.
Ducking underneath a large, shady tree, he silently hoped that their spotlight wouldn't hit them. As if by magic, the lights suddenly turned to another position the second before it lit his spot.
Sighing in momentary relief, he tried to think clearly.
'Haha, you look so different in that, Syaoran.'
He stomped his foot in protest. Why pick a time such as this to revive yourself in my mind, Mother?
'I couldn't recognize you with such a large hat on your head…'
Brilliant.
Quietly thanking his mother who had given him assistance from beyond the grave, he looked on the pavement to find some kind of covering. Finding an old discarded cap, he covered his eyes and made his way to the only place safe:
- the hospital.
They were all clueless there.
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"Sakura-san…" Touya-san said, even paler than he was in the first place. "Where is…he?"
"Li? He disappeared somehow."
"He is no ordinary man…I'm not quite sure Sakura-san, but he's not regular…"
Sakura looked at him curiously. Was this an affect of his sickness?
"Sakura-san…" Touya-san said, staring her straight in the eye. His breathing was labored, and he didn't seem like he was feeling very well. He was shaking from sitting upright for so long, and had to fall back unto the bed.
"Sakura-san…"
"Yes?"
"I need to tell you this secret of mine."
Startled, Sakura blinked a few times before showing that she was ready to listen. What kind of secret would possibly connect to her?
"I don't know who I am."
Sakura gasped involuntarily, confused. "What do you mean you don't know who you are, Touya-san?"
"In truth…I lost my memory a long time ago, maybe about fifteen or so years ago. I'm not sure why either, so I'm not sure how old I am…but what I'm sure is that…"
He seemed lost at that point, and his eyes told Sakura that he wasn't sure of what to say - if he was going to say it at all.
"I'm sure we're related."
Blankness.
Sakura's blankness.
'We're related.'
What does that mean?
Does it mean anything?
Blankness.
No meaning.
Then meaning.
"What?" Sakura yelled, her eyes wide with shocked. Had Touya-san gone insane? She looked at him as if he was, asking if this was some kind of sarcastic joke. But his eyes said no.
"Impossible…I lost my father and my brother years ago…"
"Fifteen years ago?"
And so Sakura was speechless.
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At that moment, the hospital door threw open, revealing someone very familiar.
Li.
"Li-san!" Sakura shouted, and for a few seconds she completely forgot the surprising revelation she had encountered only a minute ago. She was about to rush to him, until Touya-san interrupted.
"Sakura-san, no!"
"Touya-san?"
Oh no…has he found out?
The glint in his eyes says so…
"That man…that man is a murderer."
And so he has…this is the end of me…