"No."
"Ryan, we've been over this."
"I said no."
"Can't escape your fate, man."
"I can and I will, you ass."
"Ryan-"
"No. No, nope, hell no, nah fam."
"Nah fam? Ryan, you cannot be that much of a bro!"
Sure, while shooting episodes of both their shows, they got into some crazy, silly and worse of all, scary situations, but even Ryan had to admit this was a bit much to handle while on location.
Nor into these many arguments about the logistics, but that was a moot point right now.
"Dude-" Ryan whipped around, looking offended. Well, he would have if he hadn't looked so freaked out, he guessed. "I /am/ that much of a bro thankyou and as such, that is a fucking cave and I am not going down there alone."
"Well, don't you /wanna/ meet the mermaids, Ryan?" Shane was off to the side behind TJ, grinning like a loon. Smug bastard. He'd just finished his consecutive 5 minutes alone and hadn't shut up about the 'sheer beauty' of the cave's insides or whatever. Of course he would find a cave beautiful, that's just the type of person Shane is. "Go for a little swim, splash around in the water, have some funnnnnnnnn?"
Ryan just stared at Shane's grinning face, trying his best to send a death glare his way visible enough in the late afternoon darkness, which was surprisingly hard, given they were having to use flashlights and headlamps to see where they were going. "Shane, I swear to God, I will hit you over the head with this flashlight and none of the crew will be stopping me."
Currently, in this episode of Buzzfeed Unsolved, Ryan, Shane and the rest of the team had been sent to explore the underground cave systems in a slightly off beaten part of Hispaniola, an island in the Caribbean off the coast of Cuba that had been recorded as an alleged mermaid hotspot from 1493, during the time Christopher Columbus was sailing the high seas in the area and later recordings coming from several sightings by whaling ships in the 1900's.
Now, Ryan hadn't been alarmed when the case was brought up during a meeting for the next season of Unsolved, in fact he found it quite interesting, maybe just a tad less than Shane had.
(Listen, the guy had even packed flippers in his carry-on luggage when they were at the airport and honestly, the images that flashed through Ryan's head made him laugh so hard, he choked on his water on the plane, so much so that Matt almost had to flag a stewardess down to save him from pseudo-drowning.)
Off the book, however, it was an interesting case with a lot of compelling evidence of the sightings and maybe a few blurry, yet preserved photos from eons ago, yet it wasn't compelling enough to close the case on whether such mythical creatures like them existed.
It was perfect for the show. Plus, mermaids were actually kinda cool.
(Oh god, he just admitted mermaids were cool. Shane would give him hell for this later!)
But, despite all the research both he, Shane and the crew had done, what Ryan hadn't been prepared for, was going into a dark, clammy and wet cave in the middle of the evening in a /mood/, accompanied by only his flashlight and of course, poked and prodded on by everyone's favourite asshole Shane -motherfucking- Madej.
The part of the cave they had been exploring to find the entrance to the rumoured "cove" itself was too tight to fit an entire crew, plus multiple cameras and recording equipment like boom mics inside, so they'd dropped off most of their bulker camera and sound gear in the much wider part of the cave behind them for assistants on site, their guide and Matt as well, to guard while the rest of the main crew went in further to record more for the episode.
As well as what they were taking from here, they were also going to record some b-roll with a cryptozoologist back in California, as unfortunately they hadn't been able to make it from Hawaii to film with them on the island itself at the time.
That meant the episode being delayed of course, but hey, quality over quantity, right?
"Ryaaaan," Shane called him (rather reluctantly) back into the present as his teasing voice made him bristle, watching as the other wiggled both his eyebrows in a stupid cartoonish fashion and tilted his head, "The fishies are waiting for you Ryaaaan-"
"Shane, they're sirens! Don't call them that."
"Oh, someone's pushy. Don't want to admit that they're real?"
Fuck, he fell right into that one. Shane had been trying to trip him up ever since they had arrived on the island. Somehow the sceptic and believer roles had been reversed on this trip and it seemed his asshole of a best friend was taking full advantage of it.
"No-wh-oh, for fucks sake!"
"Well Ryan-" Shane looked like how a cat would look if it had caught a bird. "Now that we've officially confirmed you believe in mermaids or sirens or whatever your little heart calls them, why don't you go down and talk to them?"
"I do not believe in mermaids! This is ridiculous! It's just manatee sightings!"
"Do you hear them Ryan?" Shane put a hand behind his ear in a mime-like gesture and pretended to listen, practically annoying Ryan's protests. "The fishies are calling! They want you to come down there Ryan, they want you to go talk to them!"
"Shane-"
"Ooh, they also want you to come swim with them!"
"Shane-"
"All they're asking for is just a quick dive, buddy!"
"Shane-"
"Just a little dippy-dip in the water, nothing too bad!"
"Shane!"
Shane was just being an outright dick now, but unfortunately, he had been right earlier. He had no choice but to go inside that hole and into the cave, despite everything. Not only did it play a big role in the case; it was an essential part of the episode.
No footage, no episode. Simple.
Ryan knew the drill by now. They would edit the footage from when they got home in a couple of days, then it would show them on the island, as well as show the segments where they would turn their flashlights off and spend 3-5 minutes alone in the absolute darkness that was a cave system and its tunnels.
If there was one saving grace for him, it was that at least, they were not spending the night.
"Shane, if you do not shut up-"
"Give it to me baby." Ryan flinched with that sentence, red breaking out across his cheeks., turning around to hide his smile as he shook his head. Did he mention that he'd had a crush on Shane for like, 3 years now? No? Oh well. Sue him.
He hated how the ground underneath his feet was uneven as he suddenly felt the need to sit down, and he gripped his flashlight hard. He couldn't lose his cool, he would not give again into Shane using his teasing and charms and-
"Fine! Okay! I'll do it, Jesus fuck, I hope you're happy."
Shane's face cracked into a full-on grin at the words. It twisted the low-lit shadows on his face and darkened his eye sockets. It would've been kinda creepy and, well, demon-like, if it wasn't Shane doing it.
Ryan didn't know what it was about the guy. He could just never take him seriously. He could be chasing Ryan down a dark alleyway with a knife, and Ryan would still think he looked ridiculous…and cute.
"You're an idiot." He snarked, clearly displeased.
"Thanks, I try."
"Right, now we've sorted this domestic argument-" TJ grumbled from behind the camera, possibly a little irate due to the time spent on nothing. "Ryan, you just need to slip into the entrance and then turn off your light, your five will start from there. Are we clear?"
"Yeah." Ryan rolled his eyes one last time before shimmying towards the cave opening. "But if I die in this death trap, you are all blaming Shane and Shane alone."
All he heard in response was Shane's laughter as he squeezed himself through a short tunnel, doing his best not to get anything caught in the creaks. At the end, he had to curl in on himself, and he couldn't help but wonder how the hell Shane even got in here in before, but before he could question it more, he lost his breath.
It was... beautiful.
The main part of the cove was open and wide reaching, almost completely covered in clusters of crystals from ceiling to floor. They came out of the walls, out of cracks in the floor, some even hung in clusters from big stalactites in the ceiling and others erupting out of the sand and pebble covered ground.
They twinkled and flickered in the cracks where the light filtered through from a large gaping hole in the top of the cove, a combination of white and green and blue, just like stars that reflected in pink, purple and orange streaked sky that filtered down to the small pool in the middle, not far from where Ryan had emerged from.
That pool, though. It was insane.
It was small, obviously, but about the size of a regular backyard pool, so maybe not /that/ small. It stood still, drawing in the light from around and above it from the skylight to almost glow where it had been carved out in the rocks.
Behind it, water flowed in and out of a small hatch, possibly the only other entrance to this place and Ryan couldn't help but stare, mesmerized, as he'd never seen water that blue before. "Woah…"
"You ready, Ryan?" The voice made him jump sky high. He'd forgotten Shane and the rest of the crew was even there a few steps behind him in the other system.
"Uh...yeah, sure!" "Your time starts now buddy, flashlight off."
Well. There wasn't much else he could do.
Still stunned slightly by the cave, he switched his flashlight off as asked.
As soon as he did, the ambient light in the space danced off the crystals thanks to the sky above, stars barely able to be seen though the pink clouds showing up in the pond.
"Holy shit." He'd never seen anything like it.
Without noticing, he stepped closer to the water, pebbles and sand crunching and rattling under his boots as he kneeled and looked up into the skylight. It was quite large, actually.
That explained why the air felt so fresh and salty in here.
"Dude, are you guys fucking seeing this?" He said it out surprisingly loud, but it was mostly pretty much to the GoPro in his hand as he pointed it at the skylight shakily, stars possibly dancing in the lens vision.
Despite being so small, it was the only equipment they'd been able to carry with them safely and comfortably, as the Velcro straps against his chest that reminded him vaguely of a harness (don't kink shame him, it was a one-time thing…okay, more than one time, but shush!) decided to pull in both protest and shame.
A thought like that would usually bother Ryan, but right now, he was kinda glad he didn't have the full package of recording equipment with him.
A bodycam, backpack, mic and whatever else they could have possibly dragged down there would've ruined the experience he was getting right now.
"This is so cool, it's like a whole other world in here." He whispered; eyes wide as he took it all in, turning the GoPro on himself once more to narrate in person, or at least, attempt to express himself without looking like a lunatic.
"How in the hell did we miss this giant hole on top? It's so fucking obvious from the outside, it's literally big enough to see from the helicopter we rented, how the fuck-"
He babbled on for some time, as he was known to do, before he suddenly stopped and squinted his eyes as the darkness started creeping up around him.
Wasn't the light supposed to be red when it was recording?
He looked at it closer, eyebrows raising in shocked surprise. No red light to be seen.
Actually, there were literally no lights on at all.
The screen was completely black.
Lifeless. Even with Ryan's flicking and tapping. Fucking great.
"Shane!" He hollered back towards the hole, anger at his co-host that had momentarily left him surging back up with a vengeance as he heard and answering yell back.
"Hey buddy! How you doin' down there, are the mermaids scaring ya?"
He rolled his eyes, of course he would think that. Stupid, dumb, deadbeat Westerner. "It's sirens and no, actually I think my camera's dead!"
There was a beat of silence, before there was a confused noise. "But…didn't we just change the batteries in those things?"
"No, that was only your GoPro. Mine was fine before I stepped foot in here."
"Are you sure about that?"
Did he have to sound so scolding? Jesus, it was like having another parent.
"Why in the hell would I /not/ be sure!?"
Silence, and that's when Ryan's short (ha, short) fuse finally blew. "God damnit, that's it! I'm done, I'm so fucking done, I'm out. Fuck this."
Ryan moved up, hackles raised, determined that when he got himself out of this cove that he was going to strangle himself a new co-host and a tag along heart problem, when his sneaker got caught on a slippery set of rocks he had failed to notice was in his way.
Had this been the Three Stooges, this was most likely where the audience laugh track played as his arms and subsequently, body, flailed. Oh shit. "Ahh!"
His heartbeat jumped like 100 beats from its previous state as he lost balance and fell backwards, having been close enough from where he had tripped to fall ungracefully into the pool on accident.
The water, while blue and clear, was cold, cold enough to shock his entire system into failing more and making him gasp, inhaling salt water as he did.
Burning in his nose, mouth and eyes, the GoPro being completely lost fell to the wayside as he quickly came to the surface and spat out the water in his sinuses, spluttering. "F-Fuck!"
"You okay in there?!" TJ. Bless that man.
"Yeah!" He called quickly, treading water as he tried to get his bearings back.
Now that the initial shock was over, he realized the pool wasn't even that deep, as he suspected earlier. He could probably stand with his head and bit of torso out of the water, if he found a high enough rock. That or if he wasn't born so freakishly short. Thanks, mom.
"Seems I managed to trip up on some rocks is all!"
"Need any help?!"
"No, I'm fine!" He called back up, starting to move towards the edge of the pool to pull himself out and back onto dry land. "I think I lost my GoPro in the fall though!"
He was just about to use one of the many stones to pull himself up when a glint of bright light suddenly startled him. Looking at the reflection of the pool where it came from, he looked up through the hole above and saw the moon, full and round, above the cove, almost practically illuminating the small space. Had they really been filming for that long already?
Pushing water out of his eyes and shaking his head to clear it from his ears, he'd grabbed onto a smooth looking stone and had hooked his foot onto the side of the pool when the water around him began to suddenly fizzle and glow.
"W-what in the fuck!?"
Stunned by the sight, he wasn't prepared for when he was suddenly ripped away by a strong stream that hadn't been there before, pulled completely under the water like he had been caught in a riptide.
Gasping for breath, he trashed around in the suddenly rough water and tried to keep above it, calling desperately for help as he kept pulling him down towards the vent at the back.
"Shane! Help! Somebody!" He couldn't understand what was happening.
One moment ago, the water had been calm and relatively low despite the vent opening at the back pushing in and retracting the water and now he was almost drowning, pulled towards a small opening that may possibly crush him before he managed to fill up with water.
His phone was definitely not alive anymore, given the suspected glass cuts that stung on his leg under his shorts and his flashlight was probably lost at the bottom of the pool or out into the wide and deep unforgiving ocean, same with the GoPro Buzzfeed would have to replace, but it was minor compared to what would happen if he fucking /died/.
Just as he managed to get even close to the surface and reach out for land, a big wave pushed from the vent towered up above him and forced him back under the water.
Water was in his mouth. In his nose, his ears, his throat, his eyes. Everywhere.
He screamed out under the water, but all that was heard was his voice, warbled and unintelligible from the ocean and bubbles of precious air leaving him to go where he couldn't seem to get to, the current ripping at his limbs like his younger cousin's greedy hands at Thanksgiving dinner with his family back home. God, would he ever see them again?
Fighting, he tried to blindly breach the surface and was failing fast. His muscles ached, burning and quaking under his skin as he tried to swim and his lungs already felt like they were about to burst given they didn't have much air left in them to help him in his quest.
His feet kicked and scrambled like the rest of him as he searched for somewhere to stand and push himself towards the surface, but the water only ripped them away from any solid points again and again till suddenly, something dawned on him. He couldn't breathe.
He couldn't breathe!