Ryan's mind was blown.

No, scratch that, it was completely obliterated as he stared helplessly at Steven, trying to process everything. Steven, the guy he'd become friends with and the guy whom he was thinking about starting and sharing responsibility in a company with, is a mermaid - no, Steven is a mer-/man/ and he's /also/ a merman and he fucked up on tape and his whole life almost flashed before his eyes and everything was just swirling in bits of colour-

"Woah, hey, don't faint on me, dude." Steven thankfully, quickly caught him before he could make a fool of himself even more and Ryan found himself on the rather staticky Buzzfeed office carpet, trying to breathe and eyes wide as he looked back over at Steven.

"Please tell me this is some weird coma dream and I'm like, in a hospital bed somewhere near Hispaniola or Haiti or something and I just need to wake up?"

Steven sighed, before moving from his knees to sit next to him. "No can do, Ry-guy."

"Right." Figures. He had to turn away from Steven and just...stared at himself. The gleeful look on his face, the webbed hands reaching down, the flicker of blue behind him that showed clearly that not only was he in water, but that he was so not human anymore and had become something else entirely by accident.

He didn't know whether to be more relieved that Steven saved his asshole (and he totally owed him just like he said, oh my god) or more terrified that he really wasn't totally human anymore, a feat he'd already processed, but had never really /hit/ him till now.

"How-" Ryan started, but his tongue felt numb and his mouth felt sticky and dry. "How are you- did you-"

"My parents were born near Green Gulf, a mermaid pod shelter on the island of Nei Lingding, which is in the Guangdong Province of China, just between the borders of Hong Kong and the latter." Steven smiled sadly as he spoke, looking glummer somehow despite the tone of his voice being so light. "My mom was a mermaid that was part of that pod and my Dad was a property tycoon who brought that area of land to turn into, well, houses and crap. It was a bit messed up, as his company was making the mermaids sick. My Mom was the only one who knew how to walk on her tail, so she went to confront him and that's how they met."

Ryan could only sit like a child listening to a story in wonder as Steven continued on, his back stiffening next to the other as he stared. "He fell in love with her after a while and some rough stuff happened to do with the land and everything, but it worked out for the best. After a few years of being together, they got married and had Alvin and me - but some bad deals caused my Dad to lose his property business altogether and they thought that moving away from everything would be best for both me and my brother."

Steven shrugged, cracking a grin. "So, we moved to America and then, Ohio. It's no match for the Cali beach thing though when you're swimming, hence why I was so eager to escape after I finished college and was looking for jobs. Ohio's so inland, I was surprised Mom didn't have a fit about it more to Dad. There are only so many murky lakes that you can't see the bottom of you can swim in till your tail aches after all."

"I'll bet." Was all Ryan could say, quite starstruck with the tale (haha, get it, tale/tail? Oh god.) as they sat on the floor still, so many questions whizzing through his mind, but none he could really articulate at that time. He felt like the first day he'd become a merman, absolutely fucking lost to anything that was happening and just feeling so confused and afraid.

It wasn't that he was afraid of /Steven/, nay nay, he was just afraid of the unknown.

He was only snapped out of his revire by Steven when his arm was shook and he looked up to see that not only was the computer screen now turned off, he'd gotten up from being next to him and was holding out a hand with a small smile. "Come on."

"Come on where?"He couldn't help but ask, not meaning to sound shaky.

"We're going out of the office for a little bit. Just play along."

"I cannot /believe/ you managed to slip past Sara that easily." Ryan watched Steven wearily from the passenger seat of his car as they drove through the LA traffic at rush hour, shaking his head in almost comical disbelief as the other man chuckled. "No, seriously, /how/?"

"Me, Andrew and Adam always going scouting for different restaurants all the time for Worth It, I simply lied and said we were toying with doing another Asian centric episode and needed you to come with me as you would know where the best spots are most than others."

"Bet she didn't like that. I swear she's out to get me."

"No, she didn't like it very much, but given me and Andrew have most of the money in the budget other than you guys and Unsolved, she really has no say." Steven sighed. "I don't know if she's out to get you dude, but she's been weird around you for like, ages now."

"I know, right?!" Ryan couldn't help but launch into the topic head first. "Ever since she and Shane broke up, even like, a week or so before that, she's been so /angry/ at me for anything I do that she thinks is wrong. I've literally been nothing but nice to her and even when Shane was doing Ruining History and it got cancelled, we were on the same team for weeks and got along like we'd been friends forever. I don't understand what is going on."

"Have you talked to Shane about it?"

"Hell yeah and not just me." Ryan sighed as he spoke, looking a little downtrodden even as his heart swelled when Steven pulled up at Venice Beach and parked while he continued to speak candidly. "The Unsolved crew have been talking to him as well. He claims that it's just because he and Sara aren't used to living apart from eachother yet and all that, even though it's been almost 4 or 5 months since everything went down."

"Guess he needs just a little more time to let go." Steven shrugged, unlocking his seatbelt as he turned to face him directly this time. "That or she's just exacting her revenge on everyone like a supervillain due to untapped feelings she never had before. One or the other."

"At this point, I'm taking the latter, man." Ryan shook his head, frowning as he looked out into the LA shoreline with nervous tension. "She has major supervillain vibes right now, bro."

He didn't have to turn to see Steven nodding in agreement before they both took off walking towards the shoreline. He just hoped that Steven would answer a lot more questions while they were in the water than out of it. He didn't need a new Rolodex in his head right now.