Disclaimer: Don't own.

In case you're wondering, Athrun is one of my favourite characters in Gundam SEED along with Yzak. I just like making him suffer a bit :D Also, someone asked whom Yzak was shagging? It's answered in this chapter.

Heine's Hiney.

Athrun POV.

So The Drama.

This year had been tough … extremely. I thought that the war two years ago was tough, but now I realize just how wrong I was. Oh yes, if you didn't already know, my name is Athrun Zala, identification code 285002. I currently pilot Saviour, or more specifically, what's left of Saviour. You know, if I didn't know any better, I'd say that the big writers in the sky had decided that I'm not supposed to have a Gundam. First it was Aegis, then Justice and now Saviour; what are they going to do next? Give me a golf cart and make me crash it into a crocodile infested pond?

I actually wouldn't be all that surprised, I mean, I haven't exactly been exceptionally lucky lately, nor anyone around me it seems. Let's have a recap: first it was Rusty, then it was Miguel, then Nicol and Kira - but not - and now … Heine. And the one thing they all had in common … they all had some piece of ass, especially Heine. I'm not trying to say anything by it though, Shinn and Rey are both okay … as is all the other people in the Minerva. Speaking of which, I've had a very particular feeling that everyone's been staring at my ass quite a lot, especially Shinn, Rey and Lunamaria. Sometimes I wish I could read minds, it would have proven to be a highly valued asset when father had another of his mid-life crisis … at least that's what Kira called it. I can't help but agree with him. Normal people would just get a bike and relive their youth when they reach that age, but father … no … he has to go and start a war.

… I hope it's not genetic …

Mental note to self: talk this over with Kira and make sure that if I show any signs of turning out to be a psycho with a big gun fetish, give him permission to strangle me in my sleep.

One second thought, this conversation should been with Yzak. I'm sure he'd be glad to do it. He'd probably throw a celebration party afterwards. Speaking of Yzak: there have been rumours floating around the ship about a Commander Jule shagging one of his subordinates - after I take a little time out to let the words 'Commander Jule' really roll of my tongue - I just have to say that it's about time. Even since military school, you could feel the tension between them (not to mention the aura only possessed by people who's not getting any) seriously, people say that Kira and I are oblivious clearly haven't met Yzak and Dearka … or should I say Dearka and Yzak :D It's only proper seeing as Dearka's obviously a top, but don't tell Yzak I said that.

I suspect Luna's been hearing that rumour too. I also suspect that she wants to ask me questions about whether the rumours are true, but can't bring herself. She seems a bit mad at me; not exactly sure why, but I can't help but suspect that it because she found Meer in my room the other day. I seem to be suspecting a lot of things lately, but I can't help it, being around Rey makes me feel uncomfortable. I'd even go as far as to say that it's like standing along in the room with Captain Kleuze. I can't help but shudder every time I think about that. I wonder if Yzak would feel the same way.

Speaking of Yzak, again, I can't help but wonder whether Captain Kleuze ever made a move on him. They did spend a lot of time together after Dearka and I defected to the Archangel. Hmm ... now there's something to keep your mind occupied for a while. I always wondered what would prompt Yzak to walk up to Dearka and kiss the pants off him right after the cease-fire. I guess I should wonder no more.

I've also been feeling a little exiled since of late. I mean, Kira's off to the island to do … whatever he likes to do with Lacus and a bunch of children around. Yzak's been promoted to Commander, Dearka's getting some and me? What have I got to show for years in torment and confusion? Nothing. That's what; a big fat zero. I end up a loser … a has-been. Sure, I get a cool looking pair of shades and pretty snazzy set of wheels … but all I really am is a bitch to Cagalli. Ever since I defected to Orb, I've practically lost all my fighting ability, I don't kick ass as much as I used to, and now Vino's starting to look at me funny and that freaks me out!

You know, I'm tired of being the good guy all the time. For once, I'd like to be able to shoot down a shuttle full of innocent civilians without the entire population of ZAFT and the world coming down on my ass like piranhas to a carcass. Yzak can get away with it, why can't I? Oh, yeah. I forgot. Because I'm Athrun Zala. Pushover. I can't even top Kira-err … did I just say that out-loud? What I mean is … I'm tired of being pushed around by snotty little greenhorns that think just because they wear the red uniform, they can do whatever they want. I'm also tired of being dominated by a butch girl and her effeminate twin brother. Most of all, I'm tired of this person telling me that I've used up all of my speech quota! This story will not end, until I want it to end! Understood!

End Athrun.

Hope Athrun didn't sound too whacked out.