A Forbidden Love

Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters in CCS though I wish I did.

AN:THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR REVIEWS! I loved them oh so very much. .

To princess-comfused: No this is NOT based on a true story ;; glad you think that it seem like it really happened.

To Diana Alejandra Hernández: This is going to turn out an ss fic -

To azn.cherri-gurl: Eriol will be there as you will find out in this chapter but…well…something will happen ;;

To Samantha Patanne: I don't really get your review but I'll try and get the pairings right next time ;;

And to all other reviews THANK YOU!

SAKURA'S P.O.V

I want to escape. Escape into a world where nothing can reach out and get to me. To escape the pains of life. A place where time doesn't exists.

FLASHBACK

TOMOYO'S P.O.V

I fled. How could they do this to me? Why?

The tears streamed down my face. I heard him call me. Run after me even. But why? He was getting closer. Half of me wanted to stop and listen. The other half of me just wanted to run.

Three.

Two.

One.

He caught hold of my hand.

"Tomoyo, I can explain!" he said urgently.

I looked at him with my eyes narrowing.

"Explain what Syaoran?" I snapped at him. My voice was trembling a little," I saw you with her. Her. Why did you do this to me? To us? We were the perfect couple. Us. Not you and her."

He was speechless.

I stared at him through my watery eyes one last time and yanked my hand from his grip and ran blindly through the corridors.

I wanted him to follow me. To reassure me that it's not what it seemed but no footsteps were heard. He just stood there staring at my fleeing figure.

Why? Why did you do this to me? We were so happy together. Nothing could've gotten in between us. Nothing.

I always asked myself why, but I already know the answer.

Sakura.

How could you Sakura? I thought you were my best friend. I trusted you and you stole my boyfriend.

You bitch.

You stole everything I had. Everything I cared about.

SAKURA'S P.O.V

Tomoyo.

My mind was frantic working out the possibilities of what would happen.

Tap. Tap. Tap.

Footsteps. They were getting closer now.

The door slid open and a shadow engulfed us like the shadow of guilt that was tearing away at my heart.

"Sakura…"

Syaoran's voice.

"Syaoran what are you doing here?" I exclaimed, " Where is she! Go to her!"

My voice was frantic. I knew it, but what was he doing here? He's meant to be chasing after her so why is he here?

"Sakura…" Syaoran said as he knelt down near me. Without another word he pulled me close to him.

I held him close. I was terrified of what was going to happen.

END OF P.O.V

Azure blue eyes watched as the scene unfolded before his eyes.

A pale goddess running away from the act of betrayal that she just saw. Life is so cruel isn't it? Just when things look the brightest when you think you have everything you want it comes crashing down.

Out of the shadows he stepped to embrace the goddess he admired so much.

TOMOYO'S P.O.V

I ran blindly not knowing where I was going.

Why? We were so perfect together. I was the envy of the whole school. You belong to me Syaoran. Only me.

Droplets of rain fell from the sky. I was outside. The wind whipped my hair around. Never did I notice the presence that was approaching me so until I fell into his embrace.

"It's ok," he told me. His voice was soft and soothing. It was so familiar as if I had known him for years.

I clutched his shirt tightly with my clenched fists and cried.

We stayed there. In the rain. Me crying my heart out. Him whispering comforting words to me until my tears reduced to sobs.

It was so peaceful now. The worst part of the storm was over. A gentle breeze blew by and the light drizzling or rain against my skin. I lay against his chest listening to the rhythmic beat of his heart and fell asleep.

(AN: and here let's just say azure blue eyes I'm sure you all know who that is nudge nudge wink wink took Tomoyo back to his house and he lives alone…)

TOMOYO'S P.O.V

I woke up.

"Where am I?" I murmured to myself. This wasn't my room nor was the bed I am in was mine. The navy blue silk duvet was comfortable. I pulled it around me more tightly.

Footsteps were approaching.

The doorknob turned.

A boy around my age walked in.

"Who are you?" I asked him.

He walked up to me and I stared up at him.

"I'm Eriol."

"Tomoyo," I told him and stuck out my hand.

He glanced at it then took it in his hand and kissed it saying, "I know."

Yesterday's events imprinted in mind but I don't feel anything anymore. Just overwhelming sadness and rage.

Empty.

A vessel without a soul wondering around earth just isn't right.

"Ne Eriol-san do I…have a reason to live…?"

I looked up to him. He gazed down at me and sat on the edge of my bed.

"You don't need a reason to live," he said after a moment of silence," if you're born into this world it means you're made to live. You don't need a reason."

"Really?" I asked," but I lost everything…"

He locked gazes with me.

"You didn't lose everything. There's always knew friends to gain or old friends to recruit. You'll get what you deserve and they'll get what they deserve."

Something snapped inside of me. The sadness was gone replaced by hatred and fury.

She will get what she deserved. I will make her pay.

I looked at him again a sweet smile on my face.

"Arigatou Eriol-san-" he cut me off.

"Eriol…just Eriol" he said.

My eyes shone.

"Arigatou Eriol for taking care of me, but I really need to go now Okaa-san will be wondering where I am."

"But of course." He helped me out of the bed and led me to the door.

When we reached the door I glanced at him from below my eyelashes admiring him. He made me realize so much…life wasn't all about love it's all about revenge and backstab. She will pay. She will pay so dearly.

I snapped open my cell phone and searched for the few numbers that I haven't been using for quite sometime.

The tears were falling down my face again. It still hurts to think about the situation. The chains around my heart tightened.

"Hello Naoko?"

"Yea…? Ano…who's this?"

"…" I can't believe she forgot about me…" it's Tomoyo…"

"Oh my gosh! I am so sorry I didn't recognize your voice…you changed so much!"

"yea…I know…um…"

"Tomoyo…are…are you…crying? Oh my gosh! What's wrong?"

I can't bear it anymore I broke down.

"it's…it's…just…I…" my voice faltered a bit" I caught…Sakura and…and Syaoran…together…"

gasp " they didn't…oh my gosh are you ok?"

"um…Naoko…please just…stick by me…bye"

I hung up. It was done. My plan was set in motion. I can't stop it now…nor do I want to.

Drop.

It started raining again. I look up at the darkening sky. How it reflected my breaking heart.

I started forward towards the Daidouji mansion. Okaa-san would be worried.

SAKURA'S P.O.V

Syaoran took me back home.

Syaoran.

I know this never should have happened but why? How did we fall in love in the first place? How did we let ourselves get carried away?

The questions kept plaguing my mind. The uncertainty of the future looming over me. Syaoran had said something to me before he left. Three little words that remained embedded in my mind.

I love you.

But Tomoyo…

I'm sorry…but…I…I love him.

END OF FLASHBACK

Thinking back to those days I really did love him as I do now…but it's different now but no matter where you are or what you do you'll always have a place in my heart. I never wanted any of this to happen but we were young and we were carried away.

The wheels of fate are turning and soon all will some to an end but even now I wonder how it happed? How it all began? And lastly…how it got out of hand? But it doesn't matter now.

" Syaoran I'll be waiting, forever waiting for you wherever you are."

FLASHBACK

I had never thought things could turn out like this. However glum things were looking I never thought that she would do such a thing. Up 'till now I don't even know for sure whether it was her but…

Whispers.

They were all around.

"Hey! Did you hear? Sakura stole Tomoyo's boyfriend!"

"What? You mean she actually got a grip on Tomoyo's boyfriend? Syaoran?"

"Yea that's what I heard."

"Can you believe it?"

"Poor Tomoyo!"

"Yea I know how could she do this to her? I mean Tomoyo IS her best friend!"

" Man I hope Sakura gets what she deserved!"

"SHH! She's just over there!"

Why?

Why are they like that? Why do they assume? They don't know half the story.

Why?

I tightened my fists.

It'll pass. They were just rumors. They'll die down.

But…

Everywhere I went they were there whispering.

" Ne. ne. There she is!"

I walked on. They don't know.

"I don't see what Tomoyo saw in her as a friend?"

They don't understand.

"Tomoyo was SO gracious as to offer her friendship but she just pushed it right back."

WHY? Why do they believe the rumors?

"What does Syaoran see in her anyway?"

Don't they see? It wasn't like that.

But you knew. It was exactly like that. The darker side of me would say.

I know. That was what I did. But why? Why does it end like this? Why do I deserve this treatment?

"Sakura!" a distant voice called out.

I looked up.

"Syaoran?"

My heart rose. It's all going to be all right.

"You ok?" he asked," you were looking a bit lost."

"It's ok…it's nothing"

I smiled brightly at him.

END OF FLASHBACK

And from then on I thought it was all right. As long as Syaoran was by my side we would be fine. I was wrong and I fell hard. I couldn't withstand it. The whispers. No one knows. No one knows how it feels of what it feels like.

Being alone. All alone with no one to comfort you. Alone and crying.

Syaoran can't always be by my side. He's busy with work and they won't exclude him.

The tears won't stop. They just keep flowing.'

Stop it. STOP! S-s-stop being so weak.

FLASHBACK

I was creating a scene. I know that. But I can't let things stay the way they are. I can't stand the whispers anymore…

"Tomoyo PLEASE!" I was on my knees, begging for forgiveness," please just stop this…I'll do anything. Just don't spread the rumors anymore. Stop them…please."

The tears were flowing again down my cheeks. My eyes were wide as I looked at her. I can't stand it anymore. I thought I could but I can't. I thought it would stop but it didn't.

"Tomoyo pl-"

She spoke for the first time in months.

"You don't get it do you Sakura?" she said, "you think that if you just apologized it would all be fine. You think that you can be with Syaoran and I'll just be in your shadows out of your ways. Life isn't like that. Not after what you did to me. Never."

I was silent. It was true. I thought if I just told her everything she'd forgive me.

"Tomoyo…please…I'm sorry…I truly am."

I can no longer meet her gaze.

"Don't you understand?" she bit out," I don't want to forgive you nor do I want to."

She narrowed her eyes.

"Please…I'll do anything."

She glared and me.

"Anything you say?" she asked.

"A-a-anything."

"In that case…" she started," break up with him."

"Wh-wh-what?" I gasped.

My shoulders fell…

"b-br-break up with him…?" I considered it for a moment," h-hai."

"Wh-what?" Surprise was evident in her speech." Hm. We'll see."

She turned and walked away along with her friends leaving me with my thoughts.

END OF FLASHBACK

I want to die. Death awaits. It was my fate. I can see the end. Everything is so clear now.

I fingered the blade beside me, looking at it. Mesmerized by its glint. It was oh-so-sharp and oh-so-beautiful.

I was hypnotized, captivated by the blade. My fingers slowly curled around it.

It was a perfect fit.

I brought it up to my wrist slowly. My perfect death. One I waited so long for.

I stared at the unmarred flesh and smiled bitterly.

This is it. This is the end. After all we've been through I realized we just weren't meant to be.

FLASHBACK

"Sakura…something wrong?" Syaoran asked.

"hm? No I'm fine…honest!" I told him.

I was really out of it these days. How should I tell him? After all we've been through is this really how it's going to end? But Tomoyo…

She'll forgive me…I'll be her friend again…the whispers will stop…everything would be back to normal…

"ano…Syaoran?" he was watching me. Waiting.

"Sakura what's wrong? I can tell something's up. Is it Tomoyo? Is she threatening you? I'd better have a word with her then-" Syaoran assumed.

"Syao-Syaoran it's not that…" I mumbled," look I…I need t-to tell you something…"

I look at him pain shining through my eyes.

He looked at me concerned.

"S-Sy-Syaoran…I…this…this…thing between us…it's…it's not going to work out…"

he stared at me like a lost puppy and staggered back.

I reached out to him but he flinched back.

"W-Why? WHY Sakura? It'll be fine. We'll be fine. It'll past-" he whispered.

"NO. N-no it won't be fine…it never was!"

The pain was clearly shown in his eyes. The confusion. The hurt. The broken trust.

I tried to reach out to him again but he slapped my hand away.

"I-I-I'm sorry Syaoran…"

I turned and was about to flee but he grabbed my wrist.

His voice was harsh.

"You played me didn't you Sakura?" he bit out," The rumors were true that's why you were so scared. I never should've fallen fall you. How did you do it Sakura? How did you blind me from the perfect goddess I had in front of me?"

"What!" I gasped," Syaoran it wasn't like tha-"

"Save it Sakura."

I stared at him. My eyes were watering. How could he think of me like that? I'm not some kind of…some kind of slut. I never want it to turn out like this…

"Just go Sakura…"

I fled.

TOMOYO'S P.O.V

I was there outside waiting. Witnessing what she owed me. I heard their voices. Their pain laced into their voices. Their confusion in utmost dismay.

And as she fled what can I say? Those moments were something of bitter sensation. I can't nor ever will regret those moments. They had brought waves of extreme satisfaction and guilt that came crashing down at unexpected moments but always one after another just like the ever-shifting sea…

But I can put all those feelings aside just to get back with you, with you Syaoran, with you.

I walked into the tense atmosphere where he was, his back to me, watching the setting sun. It was the perfect sight for the perfect moment.

"Syaoran?" I questioned.

He turned his head slightly glancing at me from the corner of his eyes.

Time should've stopped then. It was such a beautiful moment fill will grace and yet when he turned that moment contorted into something unbelievable.

His face tearstained twisted with pain.

It was unforgivable. She was unforgivable…or was it him…

"Syaoran…I heard…what happened?" my voice was filled with sickening innocence.

I knelt before him taking his hands staring into those golden orbs that I love and admired so much. He seems so lost, so lonely and so afraid.

"S-sa-sakura she…she wanted to break up…with me," he said hesitantly.

I cradled his head to my chest a slight smile breaking out onto my face.

"I'm glad…she doesn't match you anyway," I comforted.

He resisted for a moment hearing those words. It must've shocked him to finally have the truth told to him. She didn't match him. She never did. We were the match made in heaven. Us, you and me.

His hands reached up. I thought he was going to hug me back but then he pushed me away. I fell to the ground looking up to him with hurt eyes.

"Wha-What? Syao-" he cut me off.

"Tomoyo…" he whispered.

How long has it been since I've last heard my name from his lips. I had missed it so much…

I coaxed my head sideways questioningly.

"Sy-ao-ran-kun?" I asked him cheekily.

He looked up to me with those helpless tears-filled eyes before wrapping his arms around my waist and pulling me close. Those helpless eyes that looked towards me just fuelled my anger directed towards her. How dare she make my Syaoran hurt so much? How dare she convince him that the time he has with her was happy while all the time she was hurting him? You'll pay Sakura. You'll pay dearly.

I looked down to the mass of tresses pressed against my stomach. He was crying. I could feel him suppressing his sobs through my uniform. I hugged him close.

It was a blissful moment. I can never deny the sense of relief I had during that moment. Everything to me was back. It was all perfect again. All…except that I'd lost my best friend…

Tears began to gather on my lashes and detach themselves to fall onto Syaoran's brown mass of hair.

I didn't understand why I shed tears for her. Maybe I didn't want to believe that my best friend, the person who I trusted most, had left and betrayed me. A sense of loss within my body but I had gained back what I had wanted. Syaoran was no longer with her as was I.

His sobs had reduced and he gently unwrapped his arms around my waist and withdrew his head from my stomach. I smiled gently down at him.

END OF P.O.V SYAORAN'S P.O.V

I stared back up to that gentle looking face smiling down at me. She was like an angel sent down from heaven to me.

It's been quite a while since we were together like this. I've been spending so much time with Sakura.

Sakura…

Her name still hurts to think about. What made her want to break up? But moreover why did she break up?

Those words I said to her before was harsh but hers were harsher still.

'S-Sy-Syaoran…I…this…this…thing between us…it's…it's not going to work out…'

That memory was still fresh in my mind. Her words tearing through my fantasies.

I didn't want to say those words to her. It had torn every fibre of me to say them. I regret it even that the words had left my mouth but how could she… after all we've been through together why does she still say that we're not meant to be. I know her situation was difficult but she always had me to support her…was it not enough?

Sakura…

Why'd you do it? Why'd you play my heart like that?

She was still there, caressing my hair, her slender fingers weaving through the chocolate mane. I felt her cup my face and tilt slightly to look into her mesmerizing eye as her lips descended on mine.

Shock registered across my face. I hadn't expected that… for her to take the initiative… I could take her…she would accept…but it was wrong… I loved her once but not anymore.

END OF P.O.V TOMOYO'S P.O.V

He pushed me away. Disappointment filled his eyes.

It'd hurt. It'd hurt a lot.

"Tomoyo…" I looked up lost with hopeful eyes," I never thought you would be this kind of person…"

It shattered me. Beyond repair.

I thought it was going to be all right. Everything was to be fine. Our love was everlasting. Nothing could change that.

I was on the ground as he walked out, his back to me, never turning to look back at me, at our perfect past. I didn't was to get up. There was no purpose in doing so anymore. My efforts slipping through.

He came. Looked at me and stayed by my side with eyes of understanding once again.

I was drowning, in my sea of tears but he reached out and held me. His azure eyes reminding me so much of the pain I had felt…of being left in shadows…admiring…but never gaining…

Eventually I gave in and cried holding him close letting out my hearts sorrow.

Thoughts raced through my head.

'Why? Why Syaoran? You never cried for me… Why were you serious about her? Why did you have to meet her?'

And then I realised it. I've lost. I've lost completely.

Life had just gotten a whole lot more complicated and a whole lot simpler at the same time as realization hit me. I've lost hadn't I. A battle I can't win. She's endured. Proved to me what this truly is. Why didn't I realise sooner I'll never know. Maybe I didn't want to know or maybe…maybe I just can't.

"Ne Eriol-kun I've lost hadn't I?"

It wasn't a question but merely a statement.

He stared at you. You stared back. And as that connection took place regret, disappointment and loss swirling in those violet orbs glazed over with tears.

"Wasn't it enough Eriol-kun?" I choked out," I've tried my nest haven't I? I've given him everything that I possibly could. I've done everything but isn't it enough yet? Isn't it?"

He stayed silent before his ethereal goddess.

Her pain etched into her every word as they fade out into the nothingness.

Words couldn't describe her sadness. Time couldn't erase her memories or heal her wounds. What was once so flawless was now tainted.

END OF FLASHBACK

SAKURA'S P.O.V

I slashed at my wrists. One after the other.

For a moment I flinched but then the sweet sensation of pain flowed through my body. It felt so good. I could already feel myself slipping away. Life seems so far away.

The window was open. My legs moved automatically. I was losing control in what I was doing.

I've reached the window. It seems to be illuminated as if it was a gateway to heaven.

Syaoran.

He's standing there. Just away from the window ledge. Waiting for me…

I walked towards him. The blood from my wrists flowing freely to the ground.

I was getting weaker. My vision blurred and I almost fell but I wasn't there yet. Just a couple more steps and I'll be with him…forever…

Within moments I was looking down from the window ledge. It's so high up…