A/N: This story was written by Tyra and I over MSN, I put all of the passages we wrote together, since I'm the faster typer. The poem is Tyra's! (Thanks Moonie for checking this for Tyra an' I! .)
Pwease review! Reviewing will encourage a faster update! -big eyes-
This chapter is sort of like a prologue... er... yeah... REVIEW!
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-Crimson-
Chapter One:
Losing My Mind
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Empty
My heart no longer feels
My mind no longer cares
My dull eyes stare blankly;
'Cause my soul just isn't there.
So don't bother talking to me,
Or trying to change my life.
All I need to feel whole
Is the sharp edge of a knife.
§-§
(Ryou's POV)
The sound of the door opening met my ears and I tried to open my eyes, but they felt like lead weights. What's going on...? Last I remembered I was doing my history homework...
"Oh god..." Mother? "Amane, call an ambulance!"
"RYOU!" I heard a shriek and someone running but it seemed distant... unimportant.
I could feel a burning sensation. It was all over my lower arms... like something molten had been poured onto them, stinging, burning and dripping onto my lovely white-tiled bathroom floor. I don't like mess.
If I could open my eyes I'd probably see my blood smeared all over the bathroom, just like last time this happened. I don't want to open my eyes...
"Oh, god! Call an ambulance, Amane!" ...No reply. "Now!" As if on cue I heard the soft footfalls of my younger sister. What was all this fuss about...?
...Me?
A few minutes--or hours, it's hard to judge when I'm like this--later and I felt myself being picked up, transported out of my lovely bathroom and taken into a place where they strapped me into something soft and lumpy. We were probably in an ambulance, for the bed began to rock gently with the movement of the vehicle and I found myself relaxing into the sensation.
A needle, or something similar, was stuck into my arm and the drug soon began to take effect, forcing me to give up what little control I had over my senses and sending me into a horrible place where my thoughts become my reality. This is what most people would refer to as dreaming.
I call it hell.
I don't like to dream. I don't like seeing him, the one that hurts me, cuts me... controls me. So I stay awake at night, trying to fight away the shadows that creep up on me. He can control the shadows like he can me, I've seen him make them twist and turn into any shape he wishes. They'll do whatever he tells them.
...But now I can't fend off sleep. He's going to come for me like he always does, cut me like he always does and then, when he's seen enough of my worthless blood, he'll disappear, leaving me on my own to bleed and scream out for help.
And then I'll wake up to see the faces of my mother and sister looking at me fearfully, while I sit in bed crying, screaming and bleeding.
I guess I have insomnia. I never sleep--unless it's drug induced, and even then it's difficult. But the stuff they injected into my arm... it's very potent.
I'm Ryou Bakura, the crazy British insomniac with a split personality. I'm Ryou Bakura, the crazy British insomniac with a split personality. I'm Ryou Bakura, the crazy British insomniac with a split personality.
...The voices began to fade away and I could no longer feel the gentle rocking...
§-§
The land of my dreams. The place where my greatest fears and desires are made real. The place that everything began; 'the beginning of the end' of me, you could say.
At first all I could see was an inky blackness, like someone had just switched off the light. Then, slowly my vision seemed to clear and I could see a different kind of darkness. Instead of the inky, soft and comforting black there was an almost sticky feeling about the place; as if the purples and blacks were sucking you into their depths. It was sort of like treacle. Even when you closed your eyes (A/N: You can close your eyes when your dreaming and Ryou's not exactly dreaming, is he?) you could see the same array of colours, in all their swirling glory. In this place the sky, walls--or horizon, it is virtually impossible to judge distance here--and ground merge into one, and there is always a constant unnaturally dark fog in the air.
I slumped to the ground in exhaustion--most likely due to bloodloss. This realm is even more real than my reality, so I feel tired, hungry, and I can feel pain also. My eyes were on the floor in front of me, which suddenly seemed very interesting in it's intricate swirling pattern.
"Long time no see." It's him. I look around, cautiously scanning the nearby area for any movement. "Why haven't you been visiting me, my light?" I shuffled backwards, which was a tad difficult, seeing as I was now stuck to the floor by some invisible force. I let out a barely audible 'eep'. He chuckled and I could feel his presence; I could feel the evil radiating from him.
"Hello, Bakura." I managed to mutter, my eyes dropping to the floor again. "I-I've been, uh, busy. Sorry I couldn't visit you."
I heard him chuckle, then he appeared in front of me, the shadows swirling around him, protecting their master. "Good!" He said with a sort of mock-happiness. Then his gaze fell to my arms that were covered in blood-soaked bandages. "I see they got to you before you bled to death." I too looked down at my arms, not bothering to hide my obvious sense of sadness over the subject.
I pulled the bandaged limbs up to my chest protectively. "Do you even care?"
"No." At least he was honest about it. "I need you to exist." He scowled. "I don't want to be sealed in that fucking ring for another-" he tried to count using his fingers, I barely managed to stifle a giggle. "-3,000 years!" He concluded triumphantly.
"What are yu going to do to me this time? My body is already severely damaged, and I doubt you know any healing magic." His eye twitched at my last comment. "Not saying that you don't have a very good understanding of Shadow Magic! I'm just saying that you wouldn't need to use healing magic, being so strong!" The words seemed to calm him, and I silently congratulated myself on not getting my head smashed in by Bakura's fist.
He laughed coldly. "I know only a few healing spells, and I wouldn't waste any of them on you."
"So what am I supposed to do while I'm here? They used some sort of drug on me so I'll be unconscious for a long time." I looked up at him, waiting for an answer.
Bakura was only an inch or two taller than me, but his frame was more muscular. He had the same skin and hair colour, but his hair was much spikier than my own, and his skin more scarred.
The most startling differences to me were his teeth--which were like fangs--and his eyes. His eyes were a few shades darker than my own, making them a sort of ebony-like colour and they had a strange look about them; as if he had witnessed many things that a person should never have seen.
"Stop staring, kid. It's freaky." My near-identical 'twin' glared at me.
"Sorry..." I mumbled, pulling my knees up to my chest. "I didn't mean to." He raised an eyebrow before kicking me in the side, hard.
"Don't be so pathetic." He growled, striding off into the darkness again, leaving me alone until I woke up. The only things keeping me sane in that place--where the shadows play cruel tricks on you--were the thoughts of my mother and sister, Amane.
§-§
I stared at the wall opposite me, my eyes dull and lifeless as I listened to the doctor leave. My world had been shattered by his words.
"We received news of your mother and sister early this morning." The temperature in the room seemed to drop significantly. The doctor sat next to me, a reassuring smile on his face. He must have practised in front of a mirror; it really was very convincing... sadly, I happened to be the master of disguising my own emotions and thoughts.
My mother and sister, Amane, had arrived in the hospital late last night. Apparently another car had crashed into them, and they had both been seriously injured. A little voice in the back of my head kept telling me that it wasn't them, just two people like them. I really must be going crazy if I have more than two voices in my head! ...I should name them. Heh.
Despite my obvious discomfort, he continued, his watery blue eyes never leaving my own chocolate-brown ones. "The car accident they were in happened yesterday around 8 p.m. Their car collided with a black jeep. I trust you were informed of this?" I nodded. "They... didn't make it." I felt like I was choking, even though there was nothing in my mouth or throat; they had both gone bone dry.
"We understand that this is a difficult time in your life, and we are truly sorry for your loss." He smiled a reassuring smile again, got up and exited the room without another word, glad to have this difficult session over and done with. I just wanted to smother myself with the sorry excuse for a pillow they had given me... Shame my arms had been strapped down to the bed. They must deal with nuts like me everyday... Shame really.
They're dead. My mother and sister are both dead. I'm alone...
...But, then again, haven't I been alone all along?
§-§