A
A Forbidden Love
Chapter7
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters in CCS though I wish I did.
A/N: Just to let all you guys out there who's reading my fanfic that this is the end …please review it'll make me very happy I hope that all of you who have read my fic have thoroughly enjoyed it. Um...for those who've read my other chapter 7I just didn't particaularly liked the ending soI changed it a little bit fell free to tell me which one you enjoyed more. I'll be happy to know. This is chapter 7 re-edited hope you enjoy.
Fear. A powerful emotion that can render a being completely useless if executed correctly.
It spreads to every corner of one's mind paralysing every fibre of your being and from there, the thin tendrils of fear stretches out around the heart and in that split second cuts deep into one's heart drawing blood.
Guilt. A foreboding emotion to be felt when amplified by fear.
SAKURA'S P.O.V
I'm flying Syaoran. Flying. My dream's coming true.
The wind was rushing through my hair. There was almost an excitement in death itself beside the thrill of flying.
The sky had never looked so blue before.
I blinked the tears away.
This was my one chance to be happy. My one chance that everything would be all right.
I wouldn't have to worry about the problems anymore. Everything will be gone.
I had to smile at the simplicity of it all. It was almost like slipping into a dream or rather being drawn into an endless one.
I had no regrets. Everything I've ever wanted happen has pasted already.
I love you Syaoran.
Good bye…forever…
Death looming over just seconds apart and holding onto this last thought with my eyes closed my shoulders met the ground, my body bounced up slightly after landing from the momentum and I accepted death's warm embrace.
END OF P.O.V
SYAORAN'S P.O.V
Memories.
They flashed through my mind in a series of incomprehensible blur.
Images.
Images of her.
Her essence, her pureness, her innocence, her everything. From those deep emerald orbs, her rosy lips, her slender body pressed against my own, her smile, her laugh, her elegance, her grace.
Those moments once so close seem so far away. Lost is an endless game. In a game so sweet and yet so ruthless.
She was there. On the ground. Her body still.
I can feel the blood in my veins grow cold.
The unease slowly wrapped around my body trapping it there.
My pulse quickened.
My mind froze.
It can't be.
It can't be her.
It just…can't.
END OF P.O.V
The car stopped. He rushed out.
Only to be met with her cold body unconscious in his arms.
Tears flow freely onto the ground.
The blank look in his eyes.
The distance happiness forgotten.
A reason to live for gone.
Pointless existence.
They pulled at his arm.
He clutched her tight.
"Syaoran! We need to get her to a hospital! Now!" Eriol muttered urgently.
TOMOYO'S P.O.V
I saw her. Lying there in his arms.
Fear gripped my heart.
Shock. Unrelenting horror. Guilt.
Overwhelming guilt.
My chest tightened. It was hard to breathe. My heart being squeezed by an invisible force.
Was this what I had wanted? For her to die and be out of my life?
Is it my fault? My fault that she died?
Was I really wrong?
"Tomoyo!" Eriol shook my shoulders to wake me up from my daze," We need to get her to the hospital. Now!"
I help Syaoran get her into the car. Her face was so pale. Completely still. One who had accepted death with no regrets.
This wasn't what I planned.
But…
So what really did I plan?
I didn't want to stop…she deserved what she got…but this isn't the ending I wanted.
END OF P.O.V
SAKURA'S P.O.V
I glanced around.
Is this death?
Pure white.
Snow falling.
It was cold.
I can't feel anything.
Light. In the distance. Heat.
A voice overhead," Run…"
I ran.
END OF P.O.V
HOSPITAL
"Quick get her to the emergency room. NOW!"
"She's losing a lot of blood at this rate she's going to die! NURSE! Get her onto the bed NOW!"
"Her pulse is faint."
"Doctor! Doctor! Her heartbeat is irregular."
SYAORAN'S P.O.V
I paced.
"Syaoran you need to calm down. She'll be all right. Have some faith in her," Eriol soothed.
My heart raced.
"How can I be calm Eriol?" I whispered," She's in there right now because I wasn't there to support her."
"You can't blame yourself for everything Syaoran," Eriol reasoned.
The doctor came out.
I rushed up to him," Sensei! (A/N: Sensei means teacher or doctor) How is she?"
He looked serious and pushed up his glasses before replying," We've given her some antiarrhythmic drugs to correct her hearbeat and her fever has broken. We've done the most we can the rest is up to her."
I paled considerably.
"Thank you Doctor."
'Sakura don't leave me now…You are my reason to live. Always has been. Always will be…'
END OF P.O.V
SAKURA'S P.O.V
I ran. I was desperate. Desperate for that heat. That light. That warmth.
How long has it been since I've started running towards it? How similar it was to my relationship.
Running. Running for something I can't get.
I miss him. I miss him so much.
That same voice overhead," Go back. He's waiting. Your time isn't up yet."
I stopped.
A single beam of sunlight hit my face as I stared up.
"Honto ni?" (A/N: honto ni means really)
"Hai"
'Syaoran…when I'm back…I want you to be the first person I see…'
END OF P.O.V
HOSPITAL
'Beep' 'Beep' 'Beep'"Hurry! Get the doctor!"
"Her heart rate is back to normal."
Footsteps rushing.
Curtains pulled open.
"How is she? What's the condition?"
SYAORAN'S P.O.V
My head snapped up in agitation.
Doctors and nurses were rushing about.
What's happening?
Is she all right?
I grabbed one of the nurses.
"What's happening?"
She tried yanking away before realizing that it was futile," the patient's heartbeat is back to normal with rest she'll be just fine. We just need to do some test to make sure she spine is ok. It's a miracle she didn't break her back. With luck she might even be able to get out in a day or two."
I let go.
She bustled away.
Relief washed over me.
She was fine.
She's going to live.
"You can see her now," the doctor's voice broke through my reverie.
I stood up and bowed.
"Arigato Sensei." (A/N: arigato means thank you)
That door. The door that will lead me to her.
I swallowed, let out an unsuspecting sigh of relief and turned the door knob.
She lay there.
She was so beautiful.
An exact replica of a fallen angel.
I don't deserve her.
END OF P.O.V
SAKURA'S P.O.V
I stirred.
'Syaoran…'"Beep." "Beep." "Beep."
A snap into realization.
'Syaoran!'My eyes fluttered open.
I was back.
"Syaoran…"
I smiled as his head jerked up at my voice.
"You're here…"
He answered me gruffly trying to hide his relief from me but it was evident in his eyes that he was pleased," Of course I am."
I sighed tiredly.
He looked at me worriedly.
"Daijoubu. (A/N: daijoubu means it's all right that sort of thing) I'm just worn out by the past events."
I smiled.
"Rest," he said.
"Hai"
I closed my eyes and drifted off to sleep in peace. Something I hadn't done for so long…
END OF P.O.V
SYAORAN'S P.O.V
I glanced down at her sleeping form so much like a child's.
She was so innocent.
"Ano ne Syaoran…I'm glad to be back…truly…I don't ever want to be separated from you ever…ever again…" she mumbled.
My eyes softened and I smiled.
"Me too Sakura…me too."
END OF P.O.V
TOMOYO'S P.O.V
I waited by the hospital's reception area.
I was ashamed to see her.
I was her best friend…and to think I've caused her all this pain.
Eriol.
I bit my lips. I have to ask…
"Eriol!" I rushed up to him," How is she?"
He looked at me and smiled.
"She's alright," you said.
"Honto ni?" (A/N: honto ni means really as mentioned in earlier chapters)
I felt a heavy burden leave me and let out a sigh.
"I'm glad."
"Aren't you going to see her?" you asked.
"Eh?"
I was surprised. I didn't think that you would expect me to visit her…
"Um…no…"
I looked away.
"Hmm…why not?"
"Because…because I don't have the right to… after all I caused her all these pain. She didn't wasn't to live because of me. Her perfect relationship was ruined because I was jealous. Because I can't control myself. Because I was blinded by her happiness. Because I was selfish. How could I see her knowing that the way she is now is my fault…"
It hurts to admit those reasons.
All because of me…
Before I knew it the tears came spilling out.
I'm so sorry.
You stayed true to me and smiled at me even though I was the one to ruin your relationship. You treated me like your best friend but in return I caused you all the pain I could've and didn't even stop to consider your feelings while everything you did all that.
He hugged me.
"Eriol…"
I cried into him. Shaking uncontrollably.
Syaoran came.
"She's asleep right now," you informed me.
I dried my tears," hai."
I stood up and walked to her room.
The door loomed over me.
My pulse hastened.
My hand rested on the knob and turned.
"Sakura…"
You name left my lips in a whisper.
I sat in the chair provided and held your hand.
It has been so long since I was like this.
"Kura-chan…I know…this is a little late but…I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done all those things that I did. I know what I did I can never atone for but…please forgive me."
She moved slightly and curled up.
I smiled. She was still the same innocent girl I know that warmed up everyone's heart.
"I'm sorry too for not going to be there when you wake up. Eriol and I are moving to England. I know this is short notice but…we decided it was for the best."
FLASHBACK
I stood in front facing you.
"Eriol-kun. I've decided to study overseas in England. This is for the best. For her not to see me. I'm going tonight."
I looked away.
"Why?" you asked," Isn't that just running away? You have to face her sooner or later. You can't hide from her forever."
"I know…but I just…can't face her right now. I'm sorry."
I turned to walk away.
You grabbed my hand.
"In that case I'll go with you," you stated defiantly.
I stopped. My eyes widened.
"Really?" I asked bewildered," You really will?"
You tugged at my hand and I fell into you embrace.
"Of course. I'll follow you wherever you go. To the end of the world even."
END OF FLASHBACK
"Maybe in the distance future I'll see you again but for now I just can't face you. Not yet. But…no matter what you'll always be my best friend because I've now realized just how wrong I was. You always stayed loyal to be and put me in your best interest. It must've hurt you so much when I talked about him."
I looked down at our hands.
To me our friendship was forged deeper than life. It was embezzled into our very essence. And because of you I've learned so many things. Arigato…
I stood up and left.
END OF P.O.V
FIVE YEARS LATER
SAKURA'S P.O.V
I looked at the purple envelope in my hands.
It was lavishly decorated and on it those eight words.
TO: Sakura & Syaoran
From: Tomoyo & Eriol
I don't know at the present moment whether I wanted to open it or not.
It was clear what is was but…
"Sakura!" Syaoran called," What's in the mail?"
I turned with a smile on my face and held it out to him," This."
He was surprised I could tell.
"Well?"
"Well what?" I asked.
"Do you want to go?" he asked.
"I don't know…"
He opened it.
Dear Sakura & Syaoran,
You have been invite to Tomoyo& Eriol's Wedding.
The first line.
"Maa…Syaoran she is my best friend and besides it would be rude to not attend."
"Sakura. She'll understand if you don't want to go-"
"No Syaoran. I will go. I've made up my mind."
END OF P.O.V
ON THE DAY OF THE WEDDING
TOMOYO'S P.O.V
I'm a nervous wreck inside but I'm beautiful.
I looked into the mirror to see my reflection. The dress was beautiful. In my dainty hands held the bunch of white roses.
I smiled.
Eriol's waiting for me.
I wonder would she be there…
The music struck up.
I stood and rustled my dress slightly.
The doors opened.
I walked down. My head held up high.
He was there. Waiting for me. I smiled brighter.
END OF P.O.V
SAKURA'S P.O.V
I sat there in the front row facing the altar and stood as the music began playing.
Eriol visibly brightened at the sight of her.
The bride. Tomoyo. She was breathtakingly beautiful.
That posture and air of authority she gave to those around her was just so alike.
She hadn't change from that childhood friend of mine.
I smiled. The priest had pronounced them husband and wife.
They matched each other perfectly.
I was surprised to feel the tears running down my cheeks.
She had grown so much.
I saw her bridesmaid slightly behind her. I didn't know her. She must've been someone she met in England. I can't help but feel that slight regret. I could've been there if we hadn't misunderstood.
If I wasn't so selfish.
If she wasn't so stubborn.
What can I say?
I didn't understand her nor did she understand me.
A change we can't prevent.
A change we wanted to stop but couldn't.
Something happened between us. I don't really remember what it was now.
It was so far away so distant. Some only mentioned in a dream.
But then. When I wake up I forget it.
A fragment of my memory…
Maybe better forgotten…
END OF P.O.V
TOMOYO'S P.O.V
I turned around to face the crowd.
My eyes sparkled as I saw her there. In the front row. Clapping.
She came.
Tears sprung into my eyes.
She came to see me…
My emotions stirred.
Words just couldn't describe this feeling.
Maybe I was happy…or maybe I was sad.
It was just so in between. And yet it was there. Lurking there.
I wanted to talk to her but when I walked past she just smiled and looked away.
But then. I understood.
Her smile was genuine but then her eyes…those emerald orbs. She was still hurt.
END OF P.O.V
Those words you never say. Those reminiscences you never look upon again. That pain will never go away. Throughout life part of you might've died. A memory or a part of your heart but life will go on. Time will past but it won't heal your wounds. It terrifies us. Terrifies us to the core. The very fact that it'll always be there and so the illusion was created. We live in an illusion. Stories and legends of everlasting love, promises made never to be broken and yet in midst of that sea of dreams one might yet come true but not now. Not this time. Nor anytime soon.
No words were spoken between them. It was a silent understanding that a scar cannot be healed but only rather covered up.
The pain will always be there buried deep inside.
The smile will always have a hint of regret.
Love was cruel.
But it will ease you way through life.
Forbidden love will scar you.
It'll scar you deep.
That scar will never fade.
But we all live in hope that one day it will disappear.
And heal up completely.