Disclaimer: NOOOO… I do NOT and I repeat… I DO NOT OWN SAMURAI 7! Aaaaahhhh! This is confusing me!
Author's Note: Hehe! Look! Three months of not updating:hides under her bed: Okay, I'm sooooooooo sorry! I was just caught up with my other stories, school, and oh yeah! The two week trip to Canada! But I'm back now! So… Lighten up….
Okay, before you beat me up to a bloody pulp because I didn't update sooner, let me just say these special messages from Rueniss
She can't update coz her computer got busted and right now she's crying like the worlds over and… she's starting to loose it…..
Currently, she's painting all her old Barbie dolls black all over, making her napkins into miniature voodoo dolls, and she just did the Avera Kedavra on Mr. Filch for no good reason. Oh yeah… she just sold her eye balls for a piece of chewed gum and replaced them with ping pong balls…
Rueniss sends you her deepest apologies… T.T (Poor, poor, cuz…)
Chapter 8: AmaSUSHI
Azren: Ei, minna! We're back! Now we're going to interview our very own, Amanushi… Ukyo!
Ukyo:Comes in, all proud: YES! YES! PRAISE ME, FOR I AM THE GREAT UKYO, MASTER OF ALL FLESH AND METAL!
Azren: glares "Okay, you can shut up now…"
Ukyo: "What? I am the GREAT Ukyo!"
Azren: "Uh-huh… So tell us what your motivation is."
Ukyo: "Well… My motivation is a veryu unique one… not like other villains!"
Azren: "So, what is it?"
Ukyo: "It's to RULE THE WORLD! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA!" :Does a Mojo Jojo evil laugh while whipping mutated mice:
Azren: (--;) :Presses a red button and water (Boiling, lava-like) poured down on Ukyo…:
Ukyo: "AAAAHHH! I'm melting…" :;falls off:
Azren: "Right… next question… Why are you so pale?"
Ukyo: "EH! Because you poured hot, boiling water at me, no duh!"
Azren: "No I didn't…"
Ukyo: "Yes you did!"
Azren: "NO I didn't…"
Ukyo: "YES you did…"
Azren: "Uhhh… like me think…"
Ukyo: …
Azren: …
Ukyo: ….
1 hour later…
Azren: "No I didn't.."
Ukyo: "Are you sure?"
Azren: Ask Kyuzo!
Kyuzo: …. NO…. She didn't…
Ukyo: mumbling something
Azren: "What was that? I didn't quite get it…"
Ukyo: "Nothin…"
Azren: "Good…" to the audience "Well minna, we will just have a short break! We will be back!"
Ukyo: "…" Looking at Azren suspiciously.
Azren: Looking back… "Boo…"
Ukyo: "AAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" Jumps up to the ceiling…
Azren: (Freak…)
Tessai: "Ukyo-sama!"
Ukyo: "Tessai… good…" he falls down head first…. But still lands GRACEFULLY… (how? I don't know…)
TEssai: what is it, Ukyo-sama?
Ukyo: Get me a glass of water like a good flunky!"
Tessai goes off to get some water…
Ukyo: "Hmph… no matter… I, the great Ukyo, only hold grudges on mechanical samurais… you're not one, are you?
Azren: sweat drop "What are you talking about?"
Ukyo: No need to bow down! I forgive thee! Tessai!
Tessai: My lord?
Ukyo: What are you doing! Hurry up and fetch me water!
Tessai: Yes… my lord…
Ukyo: Ahhh… being cruel is bliss… Well… aren't you going to interview me?
Azren: …
Ukyo: looking at Azren suspiciously.
(Crickets chirping)
Azren: nerve coming out. "Spongebob…"
Ukyo: "AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! NOOOOOOOO! THE ACCURSED NAAAAMMEEE!" :jumps off his chair and gets stuck on the spotlight:
Azren:sigh…: (Lizard…)
Tessai: I'm here!
Ukyo: Oh GOODIE:Let's go of the spotlight and lands on his chair GRACEFULLY: Let me have it!
Tessai:Shrugs… dumps the very, very, very, very, very, boiling, lava-like, VERY HOT water:
Ukyo: HEY! What did you do that for huh! Do you want me to twll on you huh! I know my MOMMY!
Tessai: But… you said to "Let you have it!"
Ukyo: I meant that you should give it to me!
Tessai: "Oopps..."
Ukyo: "Get me another glass!"
Tessai: "That was the last…"
Azren: "Don't worry, Tessai-san! There's some juice in the fridge!
Tessai: Where's the fridge?
Azren: Inside the laboratory. To your left!
Tessai: "RIGHT!" : goes out skipping while whistling:
Ukyo: What kinda talk show is this huh!"
Azren: "This talk show… is where we show all the fans of Samurai 7 the other side of their idolized ones… What's is to ya?"
Ukyo: You should bow down to the great UKYO!
Azren: "Hmmm… I don't think so… I'll just call you…. TIKI-TIKI…
Ukyo: "WHAT! The name of Ukyo can never be replaced by any other… Now bow down before me! Bow!
Voice: Hey! So you're the one who was imitating MY name?
Azren: Oh! Let's welcome an unexpected visitor… Ukyo from Ranma ½!
UkyofromRanma1/2: Thank you Azren… :Turns to Ukyo: Now of you'll excuse me, I'm just gonna… KICK HIS BUTT!
Ukyo: AAAAAAAAHHHHH:TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!"
We now interrupt this program for some special messages:
: Do you feel disturbed? Uncomfortable? Do you feel that you're about to be decapitated?
Then try our latest lotion! Torture Dome!
It's indestructible, it's for internal and external use! It attracts angry mobs as well as flies! It helps you feel more uneasy!
So, all I can say for all who uses it… :Prayer form: may you rest in peace!
To order, just call: 445-3-1-12-12-11-1-18-17-19 or 253- TORTURE UKYO
Thank you and good day to all
(May cause skin cancer, mutating, LBM, bulging of eyes, and foaming (?)
Now back to the special show…
Ukyo: Looks like a chewed, masticated carcass because of the beatings of Ukyo's(InRanma1/2) gigantic SPATULA: Ouch…
Tessai: "I've got it: brings in some reddish, brown, green liquid:
Ukyo: Ooooohhh…. GOOD… I might've died… : Drinks the liquid:
AAAH… nothing like a good…
:But suddenly, Ukyo felt strange. Slowly, he mutated into a half-lizard and HALF-LOBSTER creature:
Ukyo: What did you do to meee!
Tessai: "…"
Azren: (Well, at least he can get in touch with his lizard side) Oh! Drat! I forgot that, that juice was a mixture of lizard and lobster extract! Darn!
Ukyo: Snapping his claws: Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr…………
Tessai: But… what is this brown stuff?
Azren: Oh that? That's some kind of numbing drug that I was going to let Katsu drink so that I can show him no mercy!
(A/N: No offense, Katsu-fans! But… for some reason… whenever I see Katsu… I feel that I need to shave somebody's legs with a razor sharp katana… I didn't feel like that before… But this IS STILL a fanfic!)
Tessai:Looks at Ukyo:
Ukyo:Totally stiff: Can't… move… must… kill… CAMERAMAN!
Cameraman:Sweat drop: What did I DO?
Azren:Shrugs: (All I know is, it has something to do with Spongebob!) Somebody needs to be dismantled— I mean, dismembered—Oops! I mean… "TREATED" here!
Who Wants to help the GREAT Ukyo?
Deathcard: "How about the angry mob (Together with the mutated mice because they plan on mutiny)… that are waiting outside the studio?"
Azren: "Great idea, Deathcard! They'll take "GOOD" care of Ukyo:To Ukyo: Well, It was fun while it lasted… Behave yourself!
:To Deathcard: Let them in, Deathcard!
Deathcard: With pleasure:Grins menacingly and unlocks the door:
Without any hesitation, the angry mob stampeded into the studio, bringing Ukyo (And wrapping him in tissue paper) with them while carrying their "Unique" weapons, ready to TRAMPLE and BASH Ukyo afterwards. Even the mice were carrying unique weapons!
Mutated Mice: FREEDOM! WAHAHAHAHAHA! SOON AFTER THIS… WORL DOMINATION!
Angry mob: HHHHUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!
Ukyo: "…. H—help…"
Azren: "Did you hear something, Deathcard?"
Deathcard: "What? You must be hearing things, Azren!"
Azren: You're right! Sigh! Well minna, we will end here… But who says that we'll end with Ukyo? Ladies and Gentlemen… prepare for… the Nobuseri…. JA!
Author's Note: This is what happens if you let a sadistic teenager have her revenge and take it ALL out at innocent anime characters…
I'll update soon! I promise! Dewa Matta!"