BWA HA HA HA HA! Oh, ah ha ha, AH HA HA HA!
Oh… Ah… Ha… Can't write… Too busy laughing… Continue later…
Monday, 3:00 P.M. Dirk's HouseAh, I apologize for my previous short entry, diary. But it was simply too funny! Allow me to explain what happened.
Alright, so I'm walking back from my "encounter" with 'Lil Miss Psycho, looking for Master Imbecile and Nerdy Girl. And, whaddya know, they're up at the Desian base, shooting the breeze with one of the prisoners.
I believe that just before we left Iselia, the guards were explicit about them NOT going to the base, but, really… Who cares? Way to stick it to the man, Master Imby.
Anyway, the prisoner in question was some old lady. With my superior arshis hearing, I think I picked up the name "Marble". (1)
Anyway, the guards suddenly come up and start beating the old lady up with whips. Master Imby and Nerdy Girl, being the chivalrous heroic knights that they are, ran away. But then they apparently grew some backbones, and set up some sort of daring plan to rescue her.
Somehow, Master Imbecile pulls off this incredible jump up a few cliff ledges without breaking a sweat. (2) Nerdy Girl, panting and wheezing, climbed up after him.
So they get up on the cliff, and Nerdy Girl pulls out a… a… Ah, hell, I don't even know what that thing is. I think they called it a "khendama." (3)
Anyway, whatever it is, the thing apparently holds a flamethrower, because a couple of fireballs suddenly shoot out of it. I was actually kind of surprised. So were the guards, I guess. Their skin certainly sounded surprised as it sizzled into oblivion.
Unfortunately, Nerdy Girl's weak little arms couldn't aim properly, so one of the guards was unharmed. And, being the chivalrous heroic knight that he is, he didn't stop to help his burning companions, and instead comes after my oblivious duo.
So Master Imby pulls off yet another incredible jump- I blame the steroids, personally- and runs past, while Nerdy Girl sneaks away.
This is the funny part.
Nerdy Girl's weak, skinny legs finally gave out, and she collapsed to the ground. The guards didn't hear a thing, and went on obliviously searching for Master Imby. But I wasn't about to let this opportunity to see Nerdy Girl get wasted just slip away, so I let out a loud bark, alerting them to her presence.
The guards twisted around to see Nerdy Girl just lying there like an idiot. Master Imby came back, and beat the guards with a wooden sword until they cried. (4)
So he took off and Nerdy Girl escaped, and the old woman was safe. And all was well…
But what they didn't realize was that there was a camera watching them the whole time.
Shocking, I know. I never would have expected a camerain a prison. Would you?
So now we're walking away. Nerdy Girl went home, and I, being the good Samaritan arshis that I am, tried to warn Master Imby about the camera.
I don't think I need to tell you that he didn't understand a word.
You know, just as we were leaving, I could have sworn I heard an old lady being turned into a hideous monster, and the sounds of Desian troops preparing for battle.
But hey, maybe that's just me.
(1) Am I the only one who thinks that sounds like the name of an item shop?
(2) No wonder the kid loves P.E. I blame steroids, although I have been hearing rumors on the street about this new drug called "Exsphere."
(3) Probably a Mizuho word. Damn the Mizuhoians. Think they're so smart, with their "second language"…
(4) If we ever get to Triet I am so buying him a Knight's Saber.
Relative lack of sub-notes and humor, and a delay. I'm such a good author, aren't I? (weeps)