Dad takes me home and lucky for us, Mom's nowhere to be seen.
"So. We haven't really had a chance to talk. Just the two of us," Daddy says, following me into my room.
"How are you doing? I mean, you just sort of jumped right back into Mom, didn't you?"
He winces but I don't think I'm being crass. I'm being serious. "I know it seems sudden…but we love each other."
"I want you to be happy, Dad. I just wish…I wish a lot of things. I wish I believed that you could be happy with her again."
"I know this is hard on you and Kaitlyn…"
"We're big girls, Dad," I reply. I wonder if Ryan and Sandy are having a parent-child talk right now. I wonder if Sandy listens better than my dad.
"How are you doing, honey? With everything?"
I shrug. "Bad dreams. But it helps when Ryan's with me…it helps to take care of someone else, you know? I've never really been good at that…but just making him better…makes me feel a little better about what happened."
"I'm glad you're there for him…"
"He's there for me, too, Dad. He always has been."
"I know. He's a good kid."
I don't know if I should be telling him this, but I feel like I need to. "We heard you and Sandy talking. When you got on the boat. And believe it or now, Ryan talks to me. Sandy's way off base about what's upsetting Ryan."
Dad nods. "I know. But he's so upset about Kirsten that he's not really thinking straight right now."
"Can I call him?"
"I think you better wait until he calls you, sweetie. Sandy…they need some time to work things out."
My phone rang and my dad patted my knee and left so I could answer it.
"Hello?"
"Coop. What is happening at Casa Cohen?"
"I don't know. Sandy's being a jackass to Ryan…"
"Seth, too, Sandy won't let him see Ryan and you know how crazy Seth gets…want to sneak in?"
"I think it might be a little soon for that."
"Well…we do need a little boy break for a while…want to go shopping?"
Summer always knows how to cheer me up. "Of course. Pick me up?"
Summer and I shop until our feet are sore but we can't take the suspense anymore so we head over to the Cohens right after the mall.
"So. What's up between Kirsten and Ryan in your opinion?" Summer asks me once we're pulling out of the parking lot.
"What do you mean?"
"Well, I know Kirsten said something nasty to Ryan, but one of the reasons Seth and Sandy are upset was that when they went to see her, she didn't mention Ryan at all. She didn't ask him where he was, she didn't respond to anything that had to do with him. It was like…he didn't exist to her, according to Seth," Summer confesses.
"Really?" I don't want to believe it. Especially when he's been writing her letters. Surely she can't be that cold. Kirsten can't be that much like my mother.
"So? Has he said anything?"
"No." I can't tell Summer. He told me in confidence. And I don't know what he wrote in those letters. What if he was mean?
Ryan wouldn't be mean to her, though.
"Don't think too hard about your answer," Summer snarked.
"Sorry. Got a lot on my mind."
"Shopping helped a little, though, right?"
"Yeah, Summer. Thanks for getting me out of the house," I tell her honestly.
She pulls onto the Cohen's street. "Ready for the war zone?"
"It's not a war zone. Sandy and Ryan will work it out."
"What if they don't? I mean…if it comes down to it, Sandy's going to choose Kirsten. What's going to happen if they can't work it out?" Summer asked seriously
"Summer…they love each other. They'll work it out." They have to.
"Seth's worried, too," Summer adds, parking behind Sandy's beamer.
I start to knock but Seth pulls the door open first, his finger to his lips. We follow him inside.
"They're talking. Not yelling but talking…it's a good sign," he whispers.
"Upstairs?" Summer asks and we follow Seth to the same place I eavesdropped with him the night before.
"So. You ready to talk to me?" Sandy asks in a low voice.
"Are you ready to listen?" Ryan replies. He sounds worse than when I left him. Defeated.
"Yes. I'm listening, Ryan."
There was a long moment of silence. I know it's weird for us to be eavesdropping on this conversation, but after Summer's little question in the car, I think we all need Sandy and Ryan to make up. Sandy and Ryan at odds put all our world's a little off-kilter.
I hold my breath because Ryan still hasn't said anything. Ryan has to talk to him. He has to.
"I feel like you're expecting too much from me…and I want to be back to normal, I want you to be able to depend on me, I want to go back to being the same person I was a week ago…but I can't. I almost died, Sandy…and once again, I've lost people that are important to me, I lost my brother, the last connection I have to my life before here, sixteen years of having a brother, just gone and my girlfriend had to shoot him to keep from killing me, and Kirsten, another mother who's been pushed to drink…It's…I'm not equipped to handle everything at once…"
"Okay…"
"No, it's not okay!" Ryan hisses. "You've always held me to a higher standard, I'm supposed to be mature and handle things but I'm…I can't right now, I can't do everything that you want me to do…I can't…"
"I'm sorry, Ryan…" Sandy says his voice laced with concern
Seth exhales, visibly relieved. "That sounds more like my dad," he whispers.
"I've been slammed with Kirsten gone and all of Caleb's affairs are in my lap and I have to admit, all this stuff with Trey just blindsided me…I'm sorry I didn't realize what you've been going through, I misinterpreted everything…I'm sorry…"
Ryan doesn't respond immediately. "I am not angry at Kirsten. Upset, but not angry. And we're working it out."
Seth thumps my shoulder. "What?" he mouths at me.
"Listen," Summer hisses.
"How?" Sandy asks downstairs.
"I…I don't trust myself to talk to her face to face…I'd probably just start crying and not be able to stop because that's what I feel like right now…but I write her letters. I put one in her bad before she left. The doctor said it was okay…and I've been mailing her a letter every day."
"Why didn't you tell me?" Sandy asks, not accusatory, but confused.
"Why didn't she tell you?" Ryan counters. "I mean, she writes me back…it's easier than talking and pretending everything's fine…and you pissed me off so I didn't feel the need to tell you. You were quick to think the worst."
"How can we make this right between us? What can I do for you?" Sandy whispers finally, conceding that he'd been wrong.
"I need you not to be angry at me."
"You got it," Sandy replied.
"I can't testify against Trey."
"What?" Seth gasps aloud. Summer shoves him and pulls us both to our feet and tugs us into Seth's bedroom.
"He's got to testify, he's got to want to punish Trey, I mean, what if Trey gets out?" Seth demands.
And Summer looks at me. "Coop…"
"No, no…it's not something I'm going to consider," I reply. But it is something I should consider. Trey. Getting out. He's got to be pissed at me. I shot him.
Trey's mean. I don't want him to get out.
"Stupid Cohen," Summer shoves him and it snaps me alert again.
"Sorry, Marissa…but…" Seth sucks at apologies.
"If it was Ryan or your dad, could you really get up on the witness stand and put them in jail? With them looking right at you? Hell no, you couldn't. You weren't even going to face down your mom at her intervention, you can't judge him for not wanting to testify," Summer says in a rant.
Seth is silent.
She puts things in a new perspective. Could I lock my mom away? Or my sister? Even if they did try to kill me…it wouldn't make it any easier for me to stare them down and tell the world.
But Trey…he's dangerous. What if he gets out?
The door opens and Ryan steps in. "You guys are shitty eavesdroppers." He smiles at me and I forget all about Trey. His eyes are so blue. "I'm taking it you heard all that?"
Seth nods. I can't tell at first, but then I realize that Ryan's angry. Really angry.
"I don't appreciate you airing my dirty laundry to people outside the family. It actually pisses me off a whole lot, no offense to the ladies," Ryan says slowly, turning to Seth. "You're a fucking asshole for that. You don't respect anyone's privacy but your own and you better believe that I'll remember that next time you tell me something in confidence."
Seth's speechless and Summer's turned bright red.
"You want to come out to the poolhouse, Marissa? Where we can have a little privacy?" Ryan asks, turning to me. I'm too stricken to deny him so I get up and follow him out of the room.
"Don't you think you were a little harsh on him?" I ask quietly once we're outside.
"Maybe. But he needs to think twice before he broadcasts my life to the whole fucking town. If I had wanted you or Summer to know that stuff, I would have told you. If I'd wanted him to know, I would have told him."
He should be relaxed and relieved now that he's settled things with Sandy, but he's still so angry, so upset. I don't even want to bring up the subject of testifying against Trey because I don't want him to be angry at me.
Once we reach the poolhouse, he steps inside and takes a deep breath. It's almost like he deflates in front of me.
"You okay?"
"No." He turns and silently takes me in his arms, putting his arms around me tightly. I rub his back as he buries his face in my shoulder.
"I'm still here for you, Ryan…even if you're angry at the world, even if you're angry at me…I'm still here…"
"Thanks," he whispers, pulling back slightly and kissing my lips softly.
Maybe he just needs a little stress relief. I let my hands find their way to his belt. "Want to clear your head?"
"Are you talking dirty to me?" he smiles. I step away and lock the door. The blinds are all open and we're really exposed.
"Bathroom doesn't have windows," he says, taking my hand.
We split up at the counter and enter through different doors. We've done this before so we know it's faster if we lock the doors separately.
I pull my shirt off quickly and step out of my new shorts.
He turns away from his door and his eyes widen in surprise. He's so cute when he's surprised and I know that I need this just as much as him.
Damn. I don't know when I got so fucking sex-hungry, with Luke it was like a chore and DJ was just a fling, he never touched me like Ryan does and Alex, well, it was mostly just play…not like Ryan.
"So, Ryan…what's the answer to the ten million dollar question?" I ask, dipping my head like I'm going to kiss him but going for his neck instead, sucking the one spot of unbruised flesh into my mouth. I'm the only person that should be allowed to mark his skin.
"I…I don't know," he says, turning to jelly in my hands. I guide him to lean against the counter and I sink to my knees on the plush bathroom rug. I unbuckle his belt and jerk his pants around his ankles, freeing his hard-on and taking it in my mouth immediately. No underwear again. I win.
"Fuck…" he groans and I swear his cock gets bigger in my mouth. I feel a twitch down below and I know my nipples stiffen when he puts his hands on my head.
"I never want you to wear underwear," I say when I release him from my mouth and give his balls a quick lick.
"I won't if you won't," he replies as I grip him in my hand and get to my feet.
He unclasps my bra releasing my breasts and taking them in his hands. I can't stop from crying out as he runs my nipples under his thumb before sucking one into his mouth. I stroke his cock slowly. He feels so good, throbbing in my hand, he's alive and he's real and he's fucking beautiful…
"I want to be inside you," he murmurs, turning his attention to my neglected breast.
"Condom?" I manage, my knees weak again. I sink to my knees as he fumbles behind him on the counter of the bathroom.
"I don't…I can't find…"
But his dick's in my mouth again and I don't care that he doesn't have a condom because he's inside me. I use my hand to work the base of his cock as I suck the first four inches, running my tongue around the head. I love making him moan and he's moaning when he bucks his hips, pushing more of himself into my mouth.
"Touch yourself," he purrs and I take him deeper into my mouth and put my fingers around my thong into my own pussy.
I know he's close so I stroke myself faster. I can't believe I'm masturbating in front of him, but since his cock's in my mouth, I don't think I have anything to be embarrassed about.
He stops and pulls my head away. "Lie down…"
I lean backwards and he crouched over me, his dick throbbing across my stomach. He takes my hand and wraps it around his cock and then slides two fingers into my wetness.
He pumps his fingers in and out of my center and I mimic his strokes with my hand. I've got my other hand behind me, holding me up so I can watch him while he massages my tits with his other hand, thrusting against my hand and stomach. It's oddly erotic to be fucking in sync without being having him inside me but I lose my breath as his rhythm stutters suddenly and he ejaculates violently across my stomach. It's so fucking hot that I feel a wave of heat knock my hand from under me as I shudder with my own climax.
He slides his arm under me and stretches out beside me on the floor.
He kisses my neck, lazily holding my breast in one of his hands. "You fucking devastate me…"
"What?"
"You're so hot and…knowing that you're with me…you kill me a little every day…"
I'm not sure what he means but he his mouth reaches mine suddenly and he tastes so good…
"I love the way you taste…the way you love…I love the way you're staying with me even though I'm a huge prick this week…"
"Huge prick? You suck at talking dirty," I whisper. I can't take him getting deep right now…I just want him to be with me. We can talk later. No matter what we say, I want to be with him now.
"My back is killing me."
His voice startles me awake and I realize that we're still in the bathroom.
"Let's get out of here, I need some air," I nod. We find our clothes and clean up a little. I think we're both a little tired because he's leaning on me when we walk out together.
On the window of the poolhouse, someone has scrawled with black marker. "IM SORRY! DAD KNOWS YOURE NEKKID TXT ME WHEN YOUR NOT MAD"
"Seth. God, I hope he didn't use permanent marker," Ryan says. He glances at me and we both collapse into laughter. It's been a long time since I've laughed that fucking hard.
"I'll call Summer," I say when I finally catch my breath. I realize my purse is inside when I see him picking up the poolhouse phone with a grin.
We both jump when someone bangs on the window. My very angry best friend is outside motioning toward the doorknob and trying desperately to get it to open.
I get up first and unlock the door and she rushes inside, slamming the door. "Horny bitches are not cool!" Summer snaps, slapping my arm painfully. She points at Ryan. "I'd hit you too if you didn't look like a POW already," she says.
"I'm going to apologize to Seth," Ryan protests.
"Good, but that's not why I'm angry. God!" She throws her hands up in frustration. "You just made up with Sandy, why would you do something like this to make him angry again, you know he has the sex alarm and all…"
"Summer what the hell are you talking about?" I ask, taking both her arms to calm her down.
"Sandy knows you guys were getting funky in the bathroom. Even though you locked the door, and the bathroom door…apparently…he could still hear you," Summer says.
"Uh oh. No sex in the house is a big rule for me to get caught breaking again…" Ryan mutters.
"Well, he's not as mad as he was before but I think he's got Seth inside cornered for some sort of birth control lecture," Summer adds, looking at me pointedly.
"I'll go run some damage control. You guys mind finding some Windex and working on that window?" Ryan asks.
"Sure." I watch his sexy ass walk out of the poolhouse and shriek a little when Summer slaps my arm again.
"Stop it, Marissa! God, give the boy a rest," she hisses.
"So, is Sandy really mad?"
"He likes you, he'll get over it. At least we don't have to sit through the sex talk. Mr. Cohen is cute and all but there are some words that he just should not say.
I turn to Summer who's setting up Ryan's playstation.
"How bad do you think it's going to be?"
"I don't know Coop, I mean, Sandy's pretty cool but he's really stressed, too," Summer says. "Before you and Ryan got all kinky in the bathroom, did you talk to him about Trey?"
"About how he doesn't want to testify? No. I'm…I'm trying to be a better girlfriend this time around. Listen when he needs me to, talk when he's ready to listen…and I don't know how I even feel about the whole thing."
"Are you going to testify? Let those lawyers pick you apart?" Summer asks quietly.
I haven't considered that. Testifying in open court. Telling everyone about what Trey did to me, why Ryan was so enraged…God, I haven't even told my parents yet.
"Coop?"
"I have to tell my mom and dad about that night."
"You haven't told them?"
We're playing ninjas now and I can see why boys like these video games so much. It's easier to hold a conversation when eye contact isn't required. "No. Sandy knows, and the police…but I haven't told them yet."
"So…you aren't pressing charges against him?"
"Do you think I should?"
The only sound is the ninja battle for a heavy moment.
"Hell, yes. He tried to take advantage of you, Coop, he tried to rape you. You love Ryan, everybody knows it, there's no way that you would've made a play for Trey's skanky ass…"
Is she right? I do love Ryan. Desperately. More than I've ever loved anyone. But I have to admit that there was something…attractive about Trey. I liked him, too. Just…not in a sexual way. I didn't intentionally do anything to make him think that I was interested.
"Coop, you didn't."
"I know. I'll talk to Sandy."
"I don't want to pressure you…" Summer starts.
"You aren't. But if Ryan's not strong enough to testify, then it's something that I have to do. Trey…he shouldn't be out of jail, he's dangerous. But I'm not scared of him, I have no loyalty to him."
Ryan appears with a solemn look on his face. "So. No girls after ten for the next week, no overnight guests."
"That's it?" Summer asks.
Ryan shrugs. "Believe me, we got a lecture. A pretty serious one and I don't want to go through that again anytime soon." He smiles at me as he sits down and puts his arm around me. "I guess that means we'll have to adjust our alone times…"
"I'm going inside to say goodnight to Seth," Summer snorts, hurrying out of the poolhouse.
"You okay?" he asks me.
He looks much more stable and familiar now that he's made up with Sandy. Even after his lecture, he doesn't have the same tenseness as he did before.
"Yeah. But we probably need to talk."
"Yeah? What's on your mind? Sandy gave us a whole ten minutes to say goodnight."
"I think I'm going to file charges against Trey."
His eyes flash and darken. "Yeah?"
"Yeah. I'm going to talk to Sandy. Tell my parents."
He's silent a long time and then he leans over and kisses me gently. "I'll be here for you. I'll stand by you."
"You…you're not mad?"
"He hurt you. If you need to do this, I can't ask you not to. He hurt you and he should have to pay for it."
It makes me wonder why he's not testifying when he says it like that. Trey hurt him, too, much worse.
"I'll walk you inside, okay?" he says, standing up.
"Are we okay?"
"Yeah, but you've worn me out tonight," he smiles.
But I can tell that the tenseness and uncertainty is returning.
But I believe him when he says that he's not going anywhere.
Mom wakes me around ten and tells me to come down for lunch.
I know as soon as I'm done brushing my hair that I need to tell them now.
I told Ryan, now I have to take the next step.
I take a deep breath and go downstairs to the dining room.
"Morning, sweetie. Kaity's at the stables so it's just the three of us." Mom kisses my cheek and pulls out my chair as she walks past it to sit across from me.
It's strange to have my Dad sitting at the head of the table instead of Caleb but it's slightly comforting. I liked my mom a lot more when my dad was around. "That's probably good. I have something to tell you guys."
Dad puts his fork down and gives me a concerned look. "Is everything all right?"
"It is now. But…" I'm not sure how to start.
"You can tell us, honey," Mom says quietly. She looks genuinely worried.
"Well, you guys know what happened with Trey and everything…Ryan went over there and they were arguing. But I haven't told you what they were arguing about." I pause but they don't say anything. I take a swallow of orange juice. "When Ryan was in Miami, I offered to keep Trey company and he…he attacked me…"
Mom gasps and I think she even pales a little.
"He didn't do anything, I fought him off, but I had to hit him with something to get away…and I didn't tell anyone, not even Summer and especially not Ryan…"
"Why…" Dad starts.
"He loves his brother, he really wanted to trust Trey and I knew how much it would hurt him…and Trey was wasted, but I realize not that being drunk isn't an excuse…but Summer finally found out and she told Seth and…"
"That's why Ryan and Trey were fighting?" Dad asks quietly.
"Ryan flipped out…I knew he would, that's why I was afraid to tell him…"
"I hope Ryan got a couple of good hits in," Mom says quietly. She's visibly angry so I don't process her words at first.
"Jules?"
"That fucking bastard, trying to rape you…" she hisses.
"I told the police, and Sandy knows but I wasn't sure I was going to file charges…but now I am."
"Of course you are, you're going to make him pay and if the courts don't do it, I'll damned well make sure he gets punished," Mom says.
"Julie. That's not going to help Marissa right now. Enough damage has been done already by people losing their tempers," Dad says.
She relaxes slightly. "Sorry."
"I'm glad you told us, Marissa…you shouldn't keep something like that to yourself…I'm proud of you for taking the next step," Dad says.
Dad called Sandy and we met him at the police station and spent about four hours talking to the cops. Sandy and Dad stayed with me the whole time but Mom flitted in and out, nervous in the station.
It was only when she was driving me home that I got any insight into how she was acting.
"Mom? You okay?" It's rare for my mom to show any sign of being upset, she's the ice queen of Newport. But she's been visibly shaken since breakfast.
"Yes, honey. I'm sorry…I know that was really hard for you and I'm sorry…you handled that like a pro…" she says. She glances at me, nervous.
"A professional victim?"
She doesn't smile even though I meant it as a joke.
Its clear I'm not going to get more, so I turn my attention to the radio, flipping stations.
"It happened to me once, when I was fifteen. I never told anyone and I guess hearing you this morning sort of brought it all back. How it felt…how nobody else could understand and how…how much it changed me. You're so brave for doing this, for standing up for yourself."
I don't know what to say.
She shakes it off, visibly steadying herself. "But enough about that. Sandy's a very capable lawyer and I'm sure we'll be able to keep that creep in jail."
"Thanks, mom."
She raises an eyebrow at me.
"For telling me. I know that was hard for you, too." I'm flattered that she cares enough to confide in me.
She pats my hand. "We'll figure out this family thing eventually."
The bad side of telling my parents is the fact that they decide that they need to keep an eye on me. Smother me.
So when Dad tells me that we're having dinner at a friend's house, I can't stop from rolling my eyes. Time to dress up and put on my public face.
I meet them downstairs with a simple white sundress on and sneakers, tempting fate.
Surprisingly, they're not dressed up either; Kaitlyn's in jeans and Dad's wearing the ugliest Hawaiian shirt I've ever seen.
"Where are we going?"
"To a barbecue. It's casual," Mom shrugs.
So when we end up at the Cohens, I can't hide my smile.
Summer and Seth are sitting on the porch when Dad parks the car
"Mr. and Mrs. Cooper, Dad's inside," Seth says, standing up to greet us.
"Hey, Coop. Little Coop," Summer says, hugging me and slapping Kaitlyn's hand in a playful greeting.
"What are you guys doing out here?" I ask, following them into the house.
"Dad and Ryan were 'talking' again. I'm learning not to eavesdrop so I came outside," Seth says quietly.
I smile sympathetically at him, but it's a nice gesture for him to do that for Ryan.
We stop cold in the kitchen, watching the scene unfold.
"Sandy. Ryan." Mom leans over and pulls Ryan into a stiff hug, holding him for a long time. "Thank you for defending my daughter."
Seth's even speechless.
Ryan doesn't say anything but he gives me a worried look when she finally releases him.
"I'm about to put the vegetables on, there are drinks outside, I'm not as good of a party-thrower as Kirsten, but I hope you weren't expecting catering.
"Chex mix, I love Chex mix," Kaitlyn says, drawn to the counter.
"Chex what?" Summer asks.
Ryan doesn't say much during dinner but I can't tell if it's because of Mom's hug or the conversation Seth talked about between him and Sandy.
I get that he can't talk to me with everyone around, but I stick close to him so he knows I'm there.
Mom and Dad and Sandy go inside and we're left to clean up the patio.
Seth and Summer occupy Kaitlyn so I actually get a minute alone with Ryan.
"Hey," I whisper, putting my lips close to his ear.
He smiles and leans back against me, not turning away from his view of the ocean. "Hey."
"You okay?"
"I am so tired," he breathes and I can feel his exhaustion.
"Why don't you lie down? Take a nap?"
"I have to be sociable. Part of my punishment, I think. What's up with your mom?" he asks.
"She was pretty shaken up when I told her. And at the police station."
"You okay?" he asks, turning around and taking me into his strong arms.
I love the way I fit perfectly in his arms. I lean my head on his shoulder. "Yeah. I've officially bared my soul to the Newport police department and my parents and I'm sure it'll hit the news soon enough with Caleb's death being so recent."
"It'll be okay. It'll all be over soon."
"I hope so." I do. I want it to be back to Ryan and me. Its summer and we should be laughing and having fun and not stressed out.
"Guys, we were going to put a movie on in the poolhouse, if that's okay," Seth says.
"Better than being inside with the old folks," Kaitlyn adds.
"Fine," Ryan says and we follow them into the poolhouse.
Summer and Seth fight over the movies and Kaitlyn makes herself comfortable at the foot of the bed on a pillow she snags from the bed.
Ryan lies down first, leaving space for me beside him.
I put my arm across him, laying my head on his chest and being careful not to hurt him.
Before Seth even starts the movie, I can hear the settling of Ryan's heartbeat as he falls asleep.
But this is nice. Seth's steady commentary and Summer and Kaitlyn's snarky taunts at him make it seem like things are almost normal. Like we're just kids hanging out and watching a movie.
The next morning I don't even get a chance to call Ryan because I have to take Kaitlyn to the stables and then meet Dad at the docks so we can help clean out his boat so he can sell it.
Seems like he's here to stay.
It doesn't even seem real to me. I love Dad but I don't believe that he's just all of a sudden reconciling with Mom. I wonder if Caleb knew that my parents were sleeping together. Ew.
My phone buzzes when I'm taking a break and having a nonfat latte. "Hello?"
"Hey," Ryan says, his voice gravelly and low.
His voice always makes me hot. "Hey back."
"What are you doing?" he asks.
"Helping my dad, he's going to sell the boat. No more sleepovers on the ocean."
"That sucks. But it's good, right?"
"Yeah. It's good. Hell, I haven't had a real family in a long time. It's going to take some getting used to again. I don't even remember the last time I really got along with Mom and Dad at the same time," she admits.
He laughs a little.
"Where are you?"
"Home. Sandy's finally leaving me alone a little."
"What'd you do all day?"
"Well…I have some good news."
"Yeah? You, with good news?" I tease.
"Can you believe it? But…it is good news. For everyone, I think."
"Well? I don't really need the suspense today."
"Trey's pleading guilty to the charges you brought against him. You don't have to testify and he going to take a deal and be in jail…a long time."
"How long?"
"It's…complicated. He's got parole violations, and drug charges and…Jess' father is pressing charges against him because Jess was underage when they first hooked up. He's…he's taking five years for your assault. Which seems like a lot, but…he signed the deal. Apparently, taking the deal increases his chances of getting a lighter sentence when it all goes before a judge."
"How do you know all this, Ryan? What did you do?"
My mind is racing. I don't have to testify. Trey admitted what he tried to do to me.
"I went to see him."
"You went to see Trey."
"Yeah. I had to…I had to do something. I'm flipping out, I've just been sitting here while everything falls apart…I had to do something to make myself feel better…"
"And now you feel better?"
"It…the whole thing sucks. But Trey's not going to be a problem for us anymore. We…we settled things. I needed to settle things."
"He's your brother," I whisper. "Things are never going to be settled for you."
"Yeah, they will. Eventually. I mean, I've finally come to terms with living in Newport and never seeing my mom again. I'll just put Trey in that part of my brain with Mom. They'll always be a part of me…but they're not a part of my life anymore."
I want to be with him right now. I want to hold him in my arms and fill the holes he has left in him by his family.
"You still there?" he asks.
"Yeah."
"I'm going to crash for a while. I think I can finally get some sleep."
"I'll be over later."
"You okay?"
I take a deep breath. "Yeah. I'm okay." As hard as this has been for me, it's even worse for him. Trey was his family and there were things between them that I have no concept of.
When I get to the poolhouse, Ryan's asleep on his side and he's relaxed for once.
I don't wake him right away, I put my bag down and fold my jacket and put them on the chair.
When I turn to look at him again, his eyes are open and there's a sweet smile on his face.
"I didn't mean to wake you."
"I know your perfume," he replied, sitting up with a yawn.
"So, what's on the schedule tonight?"
"Well, the blinds have to stay up and the door unlocked. And we have to use the bathroom in the house," Ryan listed.
"Wow."
"Sandy's really serious. And I need to prove to him that I'm sorry for…complicating things."
"You didn't do anything wrong…"
He kisses me and we lie down together. "I have to follow his rules. He needs…calm right now. And I kind of need some, too. He's not trying to keep us apart. He's just worried we're acting…recklessly."
He blushes and I kiss him. "What?"
"He said that I'm using sex to avoid what's really bothering me. I guess he doesn't remember having a really hot girlfriend in high school," he whispers, kissing me.
He kisses me gently at first, running his fingers through my hair and I carefully explore his face with my hands, making sure that he's still there under all the bruises.
"We don't have to do anything," he says between kisses.
"Yeah, we can totally control ourselves," I echo and then return to the kissage.
His mouth just drives me wild and I can't get enough of him.
I don't even know when I ended up on top of him or when his shirt ended up in the floor, but it's been too long since I've gotten to be with him.
I'm kissing a spot on his neck where his collarbone is outlined when I feel the first drops of water on the back of my neck.
The next thing I know, Sandy's standing over us with a spray bottle, a disapproving look on his face.
Ryan's flushed red and I can tell that I'm blushing too by the rush of heat into my cheeks.
"We weren't doing anything," Ryan says, wiping water off his face.
"What was rule number four?"
I smile as Ryan's blue eyes go dark with thought and he counts on his fingers. Then he sighs and reaches over for his shirt. "Fully clothed at all times."
"I knew you were smarter than you looked," Sandy teases and it's good that he's not really that mad. "Get dried off and come into the house. I'm about to order dinner. Seth and Summer are in the den, being supervised."
Ryan rolls his eyes but I can see the amusement. "Fine," he murmurs.
Sandy walks away, swinging the spray bottle enthusiastically and whistling.
"He enjoys this entirely too much," Ryan says.
"I am kind of hungry," I tell him, kissing his cheek as I scramble off the bed when he tries to tickle me.
"You need to eat something. I'm scared you're going to fade away on me," he says, pulling his shirt on and standing up to embrace me.
"I am not going anywhere," I tell him, kissing him again.
Sandy yells something from the house and we separate again.
Sandy is taking his chaperoning very seriously.
Once we're settled in the den with an appropriately rated PG-13 movie of Sandy's choice, I lace my fingers with Ryan's on the couch.
Summer's sitting in Seth's lap on the opposite end of the couch and even though we're all pretty close friends, I know that there will be no hanky panky tonight for any of us.
Ryan dozes off after the opening credits again and I catch Seth looking at us. "What?"
"Nothing."
Summer elbows him and he winces dramatically. "He's worried about Ryan."
"He saw his brother today. I mean, we're cool and all but he didn't say anything about it. He also talked to mom on the phone," Seth adds.
"Really?" I didn't know that. I glance at him but he's snoring softly through his nose.
"Yeah. So he's had a long day. But…but he hasn't said anything so…" Seth stammers.
"I think he's okay," I tell him.
"Yeah?"
"Yeah. He's okay." We're both going to be okay.
FIN