Mob would really have rather gone to the mall with Minegishi.

They were fighting, though, her and Minegishi. Or at least she got the feeling that they were fighting. They were upset that Mob was upset that Shoko wasn't going to be born. They said that Mob wasn't thinking, that she was being stupid, and that she needed to act like a twelve year old for once in her life….but then right afterwards they said that she was acting like a child. Which was it? Mob didn't think that she was acting like a child and she didn't think that she was a child, either. She was younger than Minegishi but she wasn't a child. Mukai was a child. She was almost three, three was a child, twelve was…nine years older than three. See? She wasn't a child, she could do math in her head now. She didn't understand Minegishi, not one bit, but she still would have gone to the mall with them if they had agreed to.

She would much rather have been here with Minegishi….or maybe just with anyone other than Shimazaki.

"Another one!" said Shimazaki as he swung his cane over and hit someone right across their legs. Mob had no idea why he did that. It wasn't fun to hurt people, it was mean, and it made people upset. She knew that her Shanghainese wasn't as good as her Mandarin but she got the feeling that the man Shimazaki hit wasn't saying good things about him.

Just a hunch.

"Ryou, why do you keep doing that?" asked Mob. She took him by the sleeve and pulled him away from everyone else.

"Because it's funny. Don't you think that it's funny?" asked Shimazaki

"No, not really." Said Mob

"Come on, even Toshi thinks that it's funny." Said Shimazaki

"Then maybe you can go on dates with them, you know, since they think it's funny when you hurt people." Said Mob. She knew that he would have been a lot happier with Minegishi. They liked him like that, in the same way that he liked them. They hated the mall but there were other things that they liked, like going to the park and stuff. There was a big park here and if he had asked she would have shown him where it was. Then she could have done her shopping in peace. There was so much to buy. She needed a new phone case, Sho needed new shoes, Mukai needed birthday presents, and Serizawa had asked her nicely, and only if it wouldn't be too much trouble, if she could get him this game thing that he'd wanted…she couldn't remember the name of it but she'd written it on her arm…

She had a lot to do and she would have rather done it on her own…not that she would have said anything that mean to Shimazaki.

"It wouldn't be weird for you if I brought Toshi along?" asked Shimazaki

"Um…kind of? I mean….um….they hate the mall! They hate shopping and crowds and…um….they wouldn't be happy here." Said Mob

"Are you happy right now?" asked Shimazaki. He took her hand when he said that. No, she was not happy. Her stomach hurt and she needed a drink and Dad didn't love her anymore and Sho never talked to her and somehow Mukai kept on escaping from her apartment and right now she could have been on the roof or fallen out of a window or-or-or something and-and-and Shimazaki was hitting people for fun and-and-and how could she have been happy!?

"I'd be happier if you stopped hitting people with your cane." said Mob. She let go of his hand. People were looking, a lot of people, and she didn't want to be looked at right now. She knew that he didn't care…but she did.

"Alright, alright, if it bothers you then I'll stop." Said Shimazaki. He didn't hold her hand that time, which was good. He just brushed her hime bangs out of her face. They were getting too long.

"Thank you." Said Mob as she stepped away from him. She was here to get shoes for Sho so that was what she did. She didn't know why something like this counted as a date. It must have been so boring for him, that was why he was hitting people with his cane. Shimazaki hated being bored, it was his least favorite of all feelings, and she maybe should have done more to entertain him. She needed to be a good friend…and a good girlfriend. Even though she still didn't really want to be his girlfriend.

But when had what she wanted ever really mattered.

If she had been in Japan she would have been here with Minori. She hadn't liked hanging out with Minori, she was really mean sometimes without even realizing it, but….but they had been friends. Mob had never lost a friend before and she wanted…she wanted her back but a nicer version of hers. They'd broken up, but a friend break up, and it was all Mob's fault. She had tried texting Minori but she hadn't gotten anything back. She shouldn't have said all of those mean things to her. Especially after they kissed and especially not on her birthday. She still didn't know why Minori had kissed her, she hadn't said 'yes' or 'no' when Mob asked if Minori was in love with her. She wanted…she didn't know what she wanted. A better version of her friend, maybe? But what she wanted never mattered.

She just did what she had to do.

Right now she had a lot of shopping to do and then she had dinner to make. Maybe Dad was better now…but probably not. He was still mad at her for no reason. just because he didn't like coke didn't mean that it was bad. She was an adult, nearly, and this was what adults did. She didn't know why Dad had to be so weird all the time. He was acting like he didn't love her, he never even ate dinner with her or anything. It should have been good, he wasn't smothering her, but…but he was her Dad and he didn't even like her anymore and…and….and she knew that she was going to be eating dinner alone again tonight.

Sho was never home these days.

He was back to hanging out with Fukuda. Why he did that she would never know. Sho had been lied to and betrayed by Fukuda, twice now. So that meant that he'd given Fukuda a third chance. All she had done was try and look after her little brother….she loved him. All she had ever done was love him and all she got in return was an empty apartment and more dinner than she could eat. She was going to be eating alone…or maybe with Serizawa if she could get him to come out of his room. He was the second best person to have dinner with, the best person was Minegishi, but everyone was better than Shimazaki. If they were all alone in her house he might have tried to kiss her again, or even worse. He had tried to before and she didn't even want to do that again let alone with him. It wasn't worth it. It didn't feel good, it was over way too fast, it was slimy, and your heart broke in half afterwards. She was never doing that again unless she was trying to have Shoko….and that wasn't going to happen with Shimazaki. He was…he was in love with her and maybe he wanted to….this was why it was best that they were outside in the world together. If she had to be his girlfriend she would rather have been his girlfriend someplace where he wouldn't try and do all the things with her.

She could hold onto him, maybe kiss him, but anything else was just….too much.

"Where to now?" asked Shimazaki as he leaned in and kissed her on the top of the head. She went over her list…she still had a lot of places to go and he was going to try and come with her. The idea of him following her through the mall made her feel tired, somehow an idea made her whole body feel tired, but the thought of going home with him was even worse….

"What do you want to do?" asked Mob. There, maybe if they did what he wanted to do then he would be entertained enough to stop hitting people and also distracted enough that he forgot that he was on a date with her. Maybe he would just act like they were friends again…those had been good times.

"You're seriously asking me?" asked Shimazaki

"Yes? I mean you're the person I'm talking to so…um….I'm sorry, I don't get it." Said Mob

"No, I'm sorry. It's just nice that you're actually asking me. Warm in the heart, you know?" asked Shimazaki.

"Please don't bring Frozen into this." said Mob. When she thought about Frozen she didn't want to think about Shimazaki. She wanted to think about Elsa learning not to be scared of herself, about how the best love was the love you had for your brother/sister, about how even if you were the most powerful person in the whole kingdom and your powers were big and scary you could still control them and everyone would love you. She didn't want to mix that up with whatever it was that she and Shimazaki had together.

"What? You like Frozen. That's, like, your favorite thing." Said Shimazaki

"My favorite thing is, person…or people, are my brother and sister. They're number one and then it's Minegishi, then strawberry milk, and then Frozen." Said Mob

"Where do I fit into this?" asked Shimazaki

"Um….you're tied with strawberry milk, I guess." Said Mob. She didn't really want to lie to him but she knew how mean it would have sounded, and how broken his heart would be, if she told him that he was a lot lower on her list of favorite things than he had started out.

"Well then I guess that I'm just going to have to work harder. How about I start with getting you some of that popcorn every mall has? From the every popcorn ever place?" asked Shimazaki

"I don't know if they have one here." Said Mob

"It's a mall, Mob, where there are malls there is overpriced popcorn and where there is overpriced popcorn there are rich, or stoned, mother fuckers who are willing to pay up." Said Shimazaki

"Are you stoned right now?" asked Mob. Well that wasn't fair. He really should have shared, especially if he said that he was her boyfriend. If she'd had a real boyfriend, a boy who she liked back and who didn't break her heart into a million pieces, then she would have shared with him.

"I was earlier but then I thought, hey, I should make more of an effort to be present in the moment if I'm going to be hanging out with Mob. I mean I know how Suzuki's been ignoring you and Sho's been off with Fukuda of all people. Plus you and Toshi aren't doing so great right now, so, yeah. I figured you wanted me to be present in the moment with you." Said Shimazaki

"I…I like…let's get some popcorn." Said Mob. She held out her arm, he took it, and they started walking. He didn't hit a single person with his cane, not once, while they walked. She followed the signs and he followed his nose until they got to that one popcorn place that every single mall had. Sure they had different names but it was pretty much always the same thing. She liked it when things stayed the same. She wondered if there was a way to get Shimazaki to stay the same, to stay the way he was now. When he wasn't trying to kiss her or touch her he was really…he was a really good friend.

Not really a good boyfriend but that wasn't what Mob wanted from him.

"What do you want, I got you this time." Said Shimazaki. She didn't tell him that since Claw paid both of them, and Dad ran Claw, then it didn't matter who paid since in the end all their money came from the same place.

"Just butter." Said Mob. Just butter was the best kind. Caramel got stuck in your teether and cheese made your fingers orange. They had some fancy kinds here but she didn't feel like anything fancy. She just wanted butter popcorn…and without ketchup. Dad was weird like that but she hadn't inherited it from him. She wondered if anyone else wanted popcorn…she could get some for everyone on her way out. That way it would be fresh.

"That's all? Come on, they have caramel. I can smell it. Caramel and chocolate and…is that marshmallow? I think I smell marshmallow." Said Shimazaki

"They've got s'mores marshmallows….but I don't know how that works." Said Mob

"Well then let's find out." Said Shimazaki. She wanted butter but she would live with s'mores…even if it wasn't very appealing looking. All sticky and…and it even smelled sweet. She liked sweet things…so maybe she would like this. She had to try. She felt like Sho back when he'd been little and she'd had the three bites rule for him.

It only took her one bite.

"It's ok." Said Mob. She liked it, a little bit. She had never been a big fan of s'mores in general. They always either burnt or fell apart. She didn't have to worry about this thing falling apart. It had all gotten stuck together in a big popcorn ball. That was….convenient. it wasn't going to fall apart but really she felt like she should have bene eating it with a fork, or her powers if she wasn't in public. It was all sticky and just…well if he liked it then she liked it…or at least she would try to.

"I've got to figure out how to make this. I mean it can't just be as simple as melting down marshmallows and chocolate. That's just going to end up burning and Toshi told me that if I burnt the kitchen down one more time they're making me sleep on the floor." Said Shimazaki

"Like on a futon?" asked Mob

"No, on the cold wood floor. They were pretty damn specific, and overreacting if you ask me. I didn't burn the kitchen down. I just…set it on fire a little bit. How was I supposed to remember that I had a pot of oil going?" asked Shimazaki

"Why did you have a pot of hot oil going? That's dangerous." Said Mob

"Mukai wanted donuts and I wanted donuts and I don't know Shanghai well enough to be able to find a place that has donuts at midnight so I made some but then she wanted to play airplane and you know how that goes. Toshi damn near killed me. They've been pissed at everything lately, and they aren't even a ketchup packet yet." Said Shimazaki

"Ryou!" said Mob

"What? Toshi always gets pissed when they're-" said Shimazaki

"Shimazaki!" said Mob. Shimazaki held up his hands like he was surrendering. He had a piece of popcorn stuck to the side of his finger. She reached over and pulled it off.

"Thanks." Said Shimazaki. She held it out to him. She expected him to take it with his hand but he leaned down and ate it out of the palm of her hand like a bird. She was being looked at, now. Why did he have to be so weird? Well Mukai did that all the time but she was only two. She also ate toothpaste and raw pasta….together.

"Sorry, by the way. I forgot that you weren't Toshi for a minute. They don't mind-" said Shimazaki

"It's fine! Here, have some more popcorn!" said Mob. She would rather have fed him all the popcorn in the world out of the palm of her hand than sit there and listen to him talk about…what was wrong with boys?! It was one thing for Dad to be weird, he was a weird person, but also Sho tried to feed her and carry her and now Shimazaki…she would never understand boys, not even if she lived to be a million years old. She hoped that she only had girls. Lots and lots of girls….if she ever even had any kids….

She didn't know.

She didn't know if she would ever have kids. She didn't know if she would ever even have a real boyfriend. The only boys that she knew were her friends…and one of them was in love with her…but she wasn't in love with any of them. Not even Hatori anymore. He was nice but also he didn't like her and he was friends with Dad. She didn't know if she could be with anyone who was friends with Dad. It used to seem perfect, liking someone who also got along with Dad, but she didn't even get along with Dad anymore. She was probably never going to have Shoko or Boy Shoko…Shigeo. That was a good name. She was Shigeko so of course her son would be Shigeo….or maybe she needed to use the dad's name….

She didn't know what that would be…but not Ryou. Definitely not Ryou.

"Ok, we need this at the next Claw party." Said Shimazaki as he finished off the last of the popcorn.

"Um…I can try but I don't think that my Dad is going to let me have any more parties. I mean not any time soon. He's mad at me." Said Mob

"About me?" asked Shimazaki

"No, he doesn't know about you-don't tell him!" said Mob

"Well, yeah, of course I'm not going to tell him anything. I mean I don't talk to him, not if I can avoid it, but I know better than to tell him that I'm in a polyamorous relationship with his daughter. I'm only thirty three, I'd like to make it to at least forty three." Said Shimazaki

"Wait…does that mean that I'm in a relationship with Minegishi too?" asked Mob. That was stomach turning. They were a very nice person and they were perfectly loveable…just not by her. They were like…not like a parent. More than a sibling but less than a parent. Not like…that. Yuck. Double Yuck. All the yuck. Shimazaki had used up the whole world's supply of yuck with that sentence.

"No, no, I mean do you want to be? Because I know Toshi and I know that they wouldn't really want that." Said Shimazaki

"No! I mean, no, of course not! They're…they're my best friend!" said Mob

"Hey, hey, you're the one who brought it up." Said Shimazaki

"No, you did. I just wanted to know how this…how it worked. I mean if it's too complicated then we don't have to be anything or do anything." Said Mob

"It's not complicated, not really. I'm in a relationship with you and Toshi but you and Toshi aren't together. Toshi's in a relationship with Matsuo…fucking bastard….but me and you aren't. You're…whatever….with Serizawa but he's not in this either." Said Shimazaki

"I'm friend with Serizawa, that's all. He just really needs me and we have fun playing videogames together and stuff. I would have invited you but you can't play videogames….sorry." said Mob

"Nah, it's fine. I'm not jealous and I don't even know how to be…Toshi doesn't know what they're talking about. I don't even know the meaning of the word jealousy." Said Shimazaki

"It means when you get mad because you want the things that other people have. Like if someone has something nice and you want it….I don't know. I don't get jealous either." Said Mob. She really didn't. She didn't have anything to be jealous of. She…she was happy. She didn't get jealous of people who went to school or…or had boyfriend they liked or…or had moms. She didn't have to be jealous of anyone. She had a really nice life. She got to hang out with her friends every single day, she had a little brother and a little sister, she got to travel the world, and….and a lot of other good things too! She wasn't jealous of anyone.

There was a baby crying.

She wasn't jealous of that poor little baby, either. He, she turned her head, she. That baby was a she and she was crying because she wanted her mom to pick her up. That was why she was reaching up like that. The mom was on her phone, she wasn't even turning around. She wasn't even looking at her own daughter. Moms….she didn't understand moms sometimes. If that had been her baby then she would have held it all the time, like she had when Mukai had been a baby. She would have been there for her daughter….she would have deserved her daughter…

She wasn't jealous.

"Ok, so I do know the meaning of the word…hey, what's up? Your aura is all…like this." said Shimazaki. He waved his hands in the air in front of him like he was trying to kill a fly. Mob shrugged. If that was what he said her aura was like then she wasn't going to argue with him. She didn't think that it was mad, though, mostly just sad…maybe because she was sad. She just…she didn't think that it would have been such a bad idea, to have a baby. She could, it wasn't impossible, and…and she didn't think that she was too little….but she didn't even get a say in it.

Her body had decided, without asking her, that there wasn't going to be any Shoko or Shigeo or…or anyone.

"I'm fine." Said Mob. Shimazaki aura's turned in the direction that she had been looking in, first his aura and then his head.

"Oh, the baby. Yeah, the crying cuts right through me." Said Shimazaki

"It doesn't cut through me…it's just….that poor baby is sad but the mom won't help her." said Mob

"Want me to bring that baby over here so you can show everyone how it's done?" asked Shimazaki

"Don't! We can't…we can't steal a baby." Said Mob

"Well we wouldn't be stealing him, no, we'd be borrowing him." said Shimazaki

"It's wearing pink so it's a girl baby…and I don't want to borrow the baby either. I want…never mind. Do you want some more popcorn? I can feed you like a bird again if you want." Said Mob. She held her hand out again, with plenty of popcorn in it for him, but he didn't even move. Instead he turned his attentions to the left…and then the right…and then upwards. He settled on upwards. She looked up. She didn't feel anyone up there. No other espers were around.

"What are you looking at?" asked Mob

"This is going to sound crazy but it feels like there's a Ferris Wheel on the roof." Said Shimazaki

"There is, we saw it when we came in…I mean I saw it when I came in. Sorry." said Mob

"I'm fine, I wasn't really focused on the wider world and that's my fault. It's hard to take my eyes, well my aura, off of you, you know." Said Shimazaki. Mob shrank down in her seat. The back of the chair dug into her back. Minegishi had said that they made these chairs uncomfortable on purpose so people would be more interested in getting up and shopping instead of resting. She didn't much want to get up. She knew what was coming, he was going to tell her that he thought that she was pretty and stuff. She didn't want him to tell her that she was pretty, or ugly, or even plain. She didn't want him to think that she was anything at all.

"Because you think that I'm pretty…and stuff….I know." Said Mob

"I don't think that you're pretty, you're more than that. I mean, ok, you really have it going on as I have told you before but it's more than that. You're like…you're like windchimes, like if windchimes went on forever, you know?" said Shimazaki

"I'm loud?" asked Mob. She didn't think that she was loud. Most of the time people told her that she was quiet. Shimazaki shook his head. Oh…right. She was being clueless again.

"No, no, like….it's a good sound, you know? Not like loud ones but…like a million quiet ones. You're like a summer day and the sky is made of windchimes." Said Shimazaki

"Oh…ok." Said Mob. She didn't know what she was supposed to say to that. She didn't get him sometimes…most of the times….or maybe she was just clueless.

"But also you're better? It's complicated….ok. So Toshi is like Strawberry Fields Forever, the song and just like if there really were strawberry fields that went on forever. You remind me more of…well actually more like Helter Skelter, actually. Not that you're pissed off a lot but, like, your aura is…sometimes it's peaceful and sometimes it isn't but I live for the times when you're…awake? Like...like you're a blister and I can't leave you alone. Like I have blisters on my fingers and it's good but I'm picking at them…if that makes any sense." Said Shimazaki

"Are you sure that you're not high right now?" asked Mob

"Nope, stone cold sober. Anyway do you want to ride the Ferris Wheel with me before I start rambling some more?" asked Shimazaki

"That would be nice." Said Mob. She didn't really want to but it was better than trying to figure out what Shimazaki was trying to say. Somehow he made even less sense when he wasn't high or drunk or anything like that. She got the feeling, though, that he had been trying to tell her how much he liked her. She didn't know why he felt the need to tell her that.

She already knew.

He had decided that she was his girlfriend. If that didn't mean that he liked her then she didn't know what did. They were walking arm in arm, too, through the mall. That was a girlfriend thing…but also Shimazaki said that he liked to do that so people thought that he couldn't see them. He did it for the same reason he carried that cane around even though he didn't need it. He liked to trick people, he thought that it was funny, but she didn't get it. She didn't get him. There was nothing funny about tricking people, it was kind of mean actually. She wished that he would have just stopped being so mean to people…but also she wished that he had been tricking her, that he had been lying about liking her, that this was just some big prank.

But it wasn't.

He liked her. He even listened to her, that was how she knew for sure. They passed a lot of people on their way to the roof, to the Ferris Wheel, and she could see his aura. The way it jumped whenever they passed someone. She saw the way his arm twitched and his hand tensed, too, around his cane. He really wanted to hit someone on 'accident'. That was the best part of being in the mall, he had said. She knew how hard it must have been for him to listen to her, to be bored on purpose, and….and she knew how much he cared about her.

Part of her kind of wished that she felt the same.

The guilty part. She was the one who was lying to him. She was the one who was pretending to like him back….but it would have been worse if she broke his heart. If she made him feel the way Teru had made her feel. It hurt just to think about it. She didn't know if she could have ever done that to him…so really she was f-worded either way. She could at least do the thing that made him happy, and her less guilty than she would have been if she had broken his heart. She could have been his girlfriend.

And she could have ridden the Ferris Wheel with him, too.

"The city is so big from up here. It's kind of like flying…I mean if I could fly through the city." Said Mob as she pressed her face up against the window. There was a lot of space, here, but he was pressed right up against her. She could see the people in the other cars, too. Lots of them were sitting like this. This was how you were supposed to sit when you were in a couple with someone…so this was ok. The way his arm was across her back. The way his hand played with her hair. They way his foot kept on bothering hers. This was…this could have been worse.

At least the view was good.

"You could, if you wanted to. Fly, I mean." Said Shimazaki

"Not through the city, the normal people would see." Said Mob

"Not really. They see what they want to see. Most of the time nobody notices if I teleport right into the middle of a crowd and the ones that do just keep on going about their day. I mean what's the alternative, have your whole understanding of the world shattered?" asked Shimazaki

"Dad says that normal people can't know about us yet…so that would be way too risky." said Mob

"Suzuki says a lot of things." Said Shimazaki with a wave of his hand. Some of Mob's hair got caught between his fingers. It hurt.

"Yeah…Dad does say a lot of things." Said Mob as she pulled her hair free. Some of it came out but there was plenty more where that came from. She would rather he pulled her hair, even on accident, than kiss her or….any of the other stuff. She could see, in the car below her, that the boy and the girl were kissing a lot. Like the tongue stabby sort of kissing, with touching. Mob didn't see why they didn't just go home and do that. The walls were made of glass and people could easily see in. Nobody wanted to see that, that kind of thing was private. Not that she had anything against love, of course, she just…didn't want to watch other people kiss…and she didn't want anyone else to watch her kiss either. If she had to do it then she could have at least done it in private.

"Suzuki do something to piss you off?" asked Shimazaki

"Dad…Dad doesn't like me anymore…I mean he's mad at me." Said Mob

"I can't believe that Suzuki's mad at you. He loves you. Actually a little too much if you ask me." Said Shimazaki

"Well he is. He's mad about my hair and he's mad that I like coke and…and I don't know why he cares. He's never cared what I did before and now it just feels like he's being bossy just to be bossy." Said Mob

"Well, yeah, that's your Dad. He didn't get to be the President of Claw by not being a bossy bastard." Said Shimazaki

"His parents were married." Said Mob. That was pretty much all she knew about her grandma and grandpa. They had been married when they had Dad, they raised him, and then they died. Also they lived in Seasoning City and his mom made tempura on Friday nights. That was more than she knew about Mom's parents, anyway. She wondered what she would tell Shoko about Dad…well Dad would probably be around if she was ever born so he could talk to her himself. She wondered what she would have told Shoko about Mom….she didn't even know anything about Mom…and she never would.

It wasn't like she was ever going to have the chance, either….but that was ok. It wasn't like there was anything she could do about that.

"What's that got to do with anything?" asked Shimazaki

"That word…that's what you are when your parents aren't married when they have you. I don't know why we need a special word for it or why that's an insult. It's not like you have any control over if your parents are married or not when you're born. Babies don't have that kind of power, not even esper babies." Said Mob. She was never going to call anyone that or any other bad words. She didn't see the point in hurting people's feelings, even if they had hurt hers first like Dad had. People needed to be nicer to one another. Maybe if she had been nicer to Dad then he wouldn't have been so mean to her…but she had been nice to him! She had offered him some coke and everything! Dad was just so-

-she was being pulled in close.

Her head was resting on Shimazaki's chest, now. She could hardly see out the window. They were moving downwards, now, so other people could have a turn at seeing the whole city. Maybe Shimazaki had gotten scared or something. It wasn't like he could see what was going on…she wondered if he was having fun. She should have thought up something to keep him busy. With nothing else to focus on he was focusing on her.

A lot.

"Ok, I won't call your Dad a bastard even though he is one. Not because his parents were or weren't married but because, well, he's a bastard. He makes you feel like shit. If he had been anyone else I would have kicked his ass, you know. Nobody makes my girlfriend feel like shit and gets away with it." Said Shimazaki. He called her his girlfriend…he had done that before but it always felt weird. This wasn't what she had imagined and he wasn't who she had imagined this with…but the boy who she had imagined this with had kicked her out and didn't love her back…and anyway imagination wasn't reality. This was reality and…and it was something. It was alright. It could have been worse.

His hand was on her knee but at least he wasn't trying to stick it up her skirt.

"I feel fine." Said Mob

"You sure? Lately you've been kind of down and, I just, I just don't like it. It doesn't fit you, you know. It's just…it's hard to describe. I guess I just can't stand it when people are upset. Like Toshi's always a little upset and I try to help but I can't because they've got a lot of bad shit in their head and in their past and…and I can at least help you, you know? That's just…maybe that's all I want. To have someone that I can help and take care of…but not like a kid. I mean you're not a kid…but I would like a kid…but Toshi doesn't and that's just…that's my own shit that I'm dealing with. You have bigger shit to deal with than I do. You have Suzuki to deal with. I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy…if he were still alive." Said Shimazaki. Mob looked up. That was worse than anything that she was going through. Minegishi didn't like babies, they had said so themselves, and apparently they were against other people having babies too. Mob wasn't allowed to have one and neither was Shimazaki…but it was worse for him because he was a boy. If Mob wanted to ignore Minegishi, and make them madder at her than they had ever been in their entire friendship, then she could have just had a baby. Poor Shimazaki was stuck.

She held his hand in hers.

"No, your problems are worse. I mean I'm sad, too, that I'm not having a baby but I at least could if I wanted to. I mean I don't have to have anyone agree to anything, I can just…do all the things with someone. You're a boy, though, so it's worse. Minegishi doesn't like babies and they're never going to have one…and they don't like other people having babies either." Said Mob. They were moving again. Shimazaki let go of her hand, like he was scared, but also…that didn't make any sense. He would have held her tighter if he was scared. His aura was pulling away from her, too. He sighed…and then sighed again…and then again….like he was sad.

She must have made him sad...that was one of the worst things that you could make another person feel!

"I'm sorry that I made you sad! I mean, I'm sorry that I brought up how hard things are for you and…and if it makes you feel better then we can kiss. I guess." Said Mob. She didn't want to but she knew that he did. Besides, it wasn't like she hadn't done that before. People just sort of kissed her, like Minori had, and…well when she had been little she had wanted to kiss a boy more than anything else in the whole world. Now she knew better. Minegishi had told her, once, that things like kissing and holding hands and even doing…all the things…didn't mean as much when you got to be an adult. So maybe this meant that Mob was an adult now.

"Mob…it's not you. Ok? I just…I don't know how to tell you this without making you lose control and kill us all. I mean it would completely break the whole 'pretend we're normal' rule that your Dad thought up and then he'd probably lose it and kill any survivors…or maybe they'd just blame it on shoddy construction. You know, like the mall in Korea that collapsed." said Shimazaki

"Do you mean like in that movie?" asked Mob

"It really happened, lots of people died. Real tragedy. Anyway I know that if you remade that tragedy or movie or whatever that you'd end up being pissed at yourself, even in death, so I just…have to figure out how to tell you this without breaking your heart." Said Shimazaki. Breaking her heart….like breaking up with her? Had she done something wrong, or in this case, right?

"You wouldn't be breaking my heart." Said Mob

"I couldn't if I tried?" sang Shimazaki

"I don't know that song. Is it one of Ringo's? I don't really like his stuff…sorry." said Mob

"No, it's Elton John…and I'm going to pretend that you didn't let something so blasphemous pass your adorable and most likely bubblegum flavored lips." Said Shimazaki

"I used the kiwi Chapstick today, because it's so cold out. You don't have to kiss me to taste it, I can just lend you some." said Mob. She never understood why people said that they were going to lend something like Chapstick or lotion or sugar. Things that you couldn't give back. How did you put Chapstick back in the tube, anyway? Maybe that was what they should have been talking about since this was making Shimazaki a lot sadder, it looked like, than it was ever going to make her.

"No, I'm ok. I'm not going to take your Chapstick on top of breaking your heart…and it's going to break so just….ok. Mob, I like you a lot but I'm not sure if I love you and…and I have a lot of kids already. At least I think that I do. I like you a lot and I want to be a part of my kid's life…and I'm not saying that you'd keep Ryoji from me! I'm not saying that at all. I'm just saying that…I like you a lot but I love Toshi and Toshi is…Mob, Toshi's the love of my life, ok? I want to have a kid with them…I mean I want the first kid that I've ever made a conscious choice to bring into this world to be half of me and half of them. Ok? It's nothing against you." Said Shimazaki. He held her face in his hands, now, and he tilted her head upwards. She didn't know why. If he was going to kiss her then he should have just gotten it over with already…not that she knew why he would have wanted to right now. His aura was doing that thing it did when he was sad.

Well it was a very sad thing, she imagined. The person you loved the most in the world not loving you enough to have a baby with you.

"It's very sad…" said Mob

"I know…and I don't mean to hurt you. I just…we haven't been doing this long enough for me to know if I love you or not. It took me years to realize that I was in love with Toshi. I mean I like you but Toshi just….they take up more space in my head and…and that's what love is, I guess. I mean I like you a lot and-" said Shimazaki

"No, I mean that it's really sad that the person you love most in the world won't have a baby with you." Said Mob. She knew what it was like when the person you loved most in the world kicked you out and…and didn't love you…and telling someone that you didn't want to have a baby with them felt like being kicked out times one hundred. Even Mom and Dad had loved each other enough to have her and Sho. Dad and whoever Mukai's mom was had loved each other enough to have Mukai.

"Oh…wait, I just told you that, no, I don't want to have a kid with you but you're more concerned about my feelings?" asked Shimazaki. Mob needed. Her heart wasn't broken at all, of course, but even if it had been of course she would have put him first. Even if she hadn't been his girlfriend, even if they had been just friends, she would have put his feelings first.

She loved him. She wasn't IN LOVE with him but she did love him and when you loved someone you always made sure to put their feelings first.

"I asked you to have a baby with me?" asked Mob. She couldn't remember saying that…because she wouldn't have said it. She wouldn't have asked that of him. She didn't want to do that with him! That was…she would have had to be naked and then he would have been touching her and…and then she would have been all slimy again and….just…no way!

"I know….and it's…I can't believe you care more about how I feel than about how I just ripped your heart out. You…you're too good for me and for this world, Mob, you know that? It's like…it's like no matter what happens you always put me first…fuck. I think I might…I don't know. I have no idea what I'm thinking or-or what I want and…you know what? I really want to make out with you. That's…that's something that I'm sure of." Said Shimazaki

"Um….ok." said Mob. She didn't really want to kiss him. The walls were made of glass and there were lots of people around….and the ride might have been ending soon…but that was what he wanted and he was sad. That was the worst thing that she could have made him feel, sad, and…and it wasn't like he was asking that much of her. it wasn't like this would last long. The ide was ending and she had other shopping to do…and maybe it would be over faster if she told him that he was allowed to hit people with his cane again.

She would rather he didn't…but there were a lot of other things that she would rather have been doing. What was one more thing on the list?