A/N: I wrote a gen ficlet. This must mean that I require instant medical attention.
Title: Skutter Like You
Summary: Cat does someone a favour. Gen fic, not slash. Was going to be originally, but then decided there wasn't any point. Set during Series 5 just 'cause.
Skutter Like You
Bob the Skutter's youngest daughter Mary had always had trouble settling into a Red Dwarf with male counterparts. She did love her 'mother', obviously, but she missed her beautiful 'father' and she had been very confused when all the male Skutters from this ship avoided her after the news of Dave Lister's pregnancy had gotten around. Overtime, she had gradually come to realise that the reason for this was that none of the male Skutters wanted to re-live the afternoon when so many screams had been heard from the medical-room. And that was just Rimmer.
On Sunday afternoons the D-deck was normally quiet. Mary liked to wheel up and down this corridor whilst her brothers and sister helped their father clean up after a hard night at the Rocky Robot's Ranch. It was on such an afternoon when, pacing randomly up and down, the small teenage Skutter turned and saw the Cat watching her. She shyly moved her claw in a greeting, unsure whether he would respond. When he did, she was almost bowled over.
"Well, hi hi hi," he said, kneeling down to her level. She veered backwards slightly uncertainly, but he just continued to smile at her. "And what would a pretty pink young Skutter like you be doing all alone on a lovely Sunday afternoon like this one?"
Mary's claw tried to stutter out a reply – really, it was one thing to actually bump into the coolest guy on the ship, but for him to actually compliment her? Something was amiss, she was sure of it.
Cat listened as she blushingly gave a stumbled answer, and patted her head. "Aw, come on, don't put yourself down. You know how gorgeous you really are – next to me, obviously."
One click, which he took to mean her agreement, made his grin stretch wider. Mary almost blew a spark on seeing those sharp incisors, which she found quite sexy.
"Anyway, I gotta be going." Cat winked at her, put his hands on his knees and stood up gracefully. "So long, beautiful!"
Mary stared after him as he sauntered away. Then the young Skutter whirred around in a full circle, quickly rushing off to remember and savour the conversation she had just had. It would take days before her family got another straight click out of her.
Cat turned the corner, glancing back over his shoulder to see if Mary had gone. On seeing that she had, he changed direction and set off for the corridor on his right rather than his left, walking down it quickly until he found Lister, beckoning to him from behind a metal pillar that was holding the wall up. Cat joined him behind it, looking over his shoulder again as he did so.
"Have ya done it?" Lister asked. Cat nodded, the smile immediately fading.
"I can't believe I actually let myself get talked into that!"
"Oh, come on, you've made a Skutter happy," Lister reasoned, as he held up a huge tuna and mayonnaise baguette on a plate. "Want some lunch?"
Cat's grin returned as he rubbed his hands together. "Hey, you kept up your part of the deal! Thanks, bud!"
Lister gave him a grin as he picked up his own half-eaten curry that he'd placed on the windowsill next to him, a thought suddenly occurring to him. "You know, man, you'd get more if you took her on a date…"
Fin.