Miracle on Evergreen Terrace: Slightly Better Ending
A Slightly Better Ending to the abysmal Season 8 Xmas ep 'Miracle on Evergreen Terrace'. Rated T for loads of violence and swearing at the end.
[I do not own the Simpsons]
Right at the end of the abysmal Season 8 Xmas ep 'Miracle on Evergreen Terrace', The Simpsons received a knock at the door.
"I'll get it!" Marge called.
She opened the door, and her jaw dropped. And when her family arrived, they saw who it was - a tall stout man wearing a black robe, with black hair and a pale grey beard, and, like the Simpsons, his skin was yellow.
"Talk about Christmas yet to come vibes." Bart said, eying the stranger.
"Oh, what do YOU want?" Homer snapped at the man. "Are you here to gloat and/or laugh at us and/or take whatever pointless thing we have left after those morons hijacked everything we owned?"
"Easy," said the man, in a calm yet jolly sounding voice, "I don't wanna take anything. I'm here to right a wrong, and fix things for you."
The Simpsons stared at each other, confused.
"I Heard about what happened, with the whole burning tree, and the townsfolk turning on you and stealing your stuff." the man said.
"Please don't rub it in." Homer said firmly.
"I ain't planning to." the man said.
"In fact," he added, "I think we might just forget the whole debacle, hmmmm?" he said.
"How?" The Simpsons all asked the man at once, for quite different reasons.
"Because I'm bringing it all back to you." The man said excitedly.
"Well," said Lisa, "if you even do manage to pull that off, I'm gonna..."
With a snap of the man's fingers, the Simpsons saw their house had all their furnishings back, almost as if they were never stolen to begin with. The Simpsons' jaws dropped, as they gasped in awe. Even Maggie took out her pacifier, gasped in awe, and then put her pacifier back in her mouth and resumed sucking it as if nothing had happened.
"...not finish the end of that sentence." Lisa said, staring in astonishment.
"That, is impressive." Bart commented. "But," he asked the man, "What about our friends & neighbours, the same ones who-?"
"Oh, don't you worry about your friends and neighbours, young man." the man said. "They'll get what's coming to them."
"I guess Christmas miracles DO happen." Marge said, a tear in her eye. She turned back to the door. "How can we ever thank-"
But to their shock, the man had gone, just like a dream.
"Wow." Lisa said. "And you'd think that only happens in fantasy films."
"Yeah." Bart said to his sister. "So, wanna watch Itchy & Scratchy?"
"Shotgun!" Lisa called, as she and Bart raced off.
Homer then turned to his wife, and said, "Ummm, Marge, there's still one thing I don't understand."
"What's that, Homie?" Marge asked her husband.
And Homer said, "What did that guy say about our friends and neighbours getting what's coming to them?"
"Oh, I'm sure it's probably nothing, Homie." Marge said. "I'm sure they're gonna get a slight talking-to, and it'll all be fine."
However, Marge was wrong - the townsfolk were getting attacked by an angry mob, which was made of fans of the Simpsons. Most notably, the fans who hated the 'Miracle on Evergreen Terrace' EP.
"YOU FUCKING SHITHEADS!" The fans yelled, throwing rocks and knives, and everything including a kitchen sink, at all the townsfolk.
"HOW COULD YOU MOTHERFUCKING SHITHEADS DO SUCH A BULLSHIT THING TO AN INNOCENT FAMILY?!" One angry fan shouted, as she poked a spear into Edna Krabappel's eye.
"FUCK YOU TO BLOODY HELL!" 2 other angry fans yelled as they bit Apu REALLY hard on his arms.
"FUCK YOU NED FLANDERS, YOU FUCKING SHITHEAD!" Another of the angry fans yelled, jabbing a broken glass bottle into Ned Flanders' face.
"I HOPE YOU MOTHERFUCKING SHITHEADS GET COAL NEXT CHRISTMAS FOR WHAT YOU FUCKING SHITHEADS DID TO THE SIMPSONS FAMILY!" screamed an angry female fan, throwing bricks at Krusty, and then bashing Principal Skinner and his mother with another couple.
One of the fans even gave Nelson Muntz a wedgie, and even said his 'Ha-ha!' catchphrase, making him cry.
Even Mr. Burns, the nastiest person in Springfield, didn't get away unscathed - a group of angry women fans punched him in the face.
"God, please save us from this torturous beating!" Reverend Lovejoy said, before a big muscular fan tackled him to the ground and stamped his face hard into the dirt. "May God have mercy on your soul, you dirtbag!" he snarled.
The townsfolk wailed and screamed in pain, and begged them to stop, for it hurt. But turning on deaf ears, the fans attacked them all the more. "FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU ALL! FUCK YOU ALL TO BLOODY HELL!" The fans shouted loudly, so loudly you could hear it all the way from Shelbyville.
And all the noises lasted well into the night, right up till the start of next year. The bloody shithead townsfolk of Springfield had got what they deserved.
AUTHOR'S NOTE:
Whadda ya think of this alternate ending to the most ABSYMAL Simpsons Xmas ep?
Do ya like how I made the shithead townsfolk get their just desserts?
Read & Review!
and also...
Fuck the shithead townspeople of Springfield for how they acted in that episode! I HOPE THOSE MOTHERFUCKING SHITHEADS GET COAL FOR CHRISTMAS BECAUSE OF THEIR SHITHEADED ACTIONS!