"You're my friend, right."
Serizawa didn't even have to think about it.
"Of course, Miss Suzuki." Said Serizawa. He didn't know why she had asked that. They had been friends for years now. They were hanging out, weren't they? That was something that friends did. They were in his room making Miis and just…being friends. At least this was what he thought being friends was. He honestly wasn't sure, Miss Suzuki and the others were the first friends that he had ever had in his life. He wasn't entirely sure about the rules…
But he was sure about how he felt and he felt like they were friends.
"Good…good. Good. I was just worried." Said Miss Suzuki before she put her cigarette out…wait, no, what she smoked was called something else. He couldn't remember…he should have remembered! He hoped that she wasn't upset with him for forgetting…maybe he just couldn't tell her or…or was that keeping secrets? Did friends keep secrets? He didn't know. There was a difference between keeping secrets and not blurting out everything that came into his head, Minegishi had told him so and they were smart, so…so was this a secret or him just not blurting out everything that came into his head?
He wasn't sure…but he had to be sure! She was looking right at him!
"I-I-I-" said Serizawa as he tried to find the words he needed. It was hard, sometimes, because so much could go wrong when you were talking to someone. All it took was one wrong word or phrase and then everything could be over and…and he didn't want…he didn't want to mess this up! She was already questioning their friendship so…so he must have been a terrible friend!
He really had been…
It had been too much moving. He had been skipping all their friend outings…well they hadn't all gone somewhere together but he had skipped out on invitations for little outings. He just…friends hung out with friends, that was how friendship worked….but it had just been so much moving and he was in a whole other country and he didn't really understand what people were saying and he just…there were so many things that could go wrong and…and he just didn't want to mess up!
He wished that he could have been more like Miss Suzuki. She never got nervous.
"Here, you can go first. I haven't been good about sharing…sorry. I just kept on forgetting and remembering and then when I remembered I forgot…I don't know. Here, smoke this." said Miss Suzuki. She passed it to him…he did as she asked. Even though he hated the way it smelled and tasted and made his clothes smell and probably taste. He wasn't sure about the last part, though, since he didn't regularly go around tasting his clothes. That would have been weird.
The last thing he wanted to do was be weird…was to mess up…so he just did as she asked. Even if he didn't want to. That was what friends did.
"Here, you can go again. You barely had any." Said Miss Suzuki. She held her hand up when he tried to pass it back. He did his best. He didn't really want to but…well she wanted him to. He inhaled for a long time, a very long time, since she liked that. Even though he hated it. Even though it made his throat feel raw and his throat burn. Even though it made his body feel like…kind of like he was living in it? Like his body was his robe and he could feel himself wearing it…or something. It wasn't a good feeling.
But he would never have told her that. He would never have spoke ill of her favorite thing.
"Here! You should have a turn, too!" said Serizawa as he coughed harder than he had ever coughed in his life. Beside him his bed jumped and the blanket flew up to the ceiling. She reached over and made his bed with her powers. Her aura showed. She had such a pretty aura, pretty and calming, not like his. His aura was like…like static electricity…or something bigger. Something that hurt you when you got too close…something that he had no control over, like how he would shock Mom when he went to hug her after wearing his wool sweater all day…
Back when he had been able to hug Mom.
Back when he had been little, very little, back when his powers had been…smaller. They had only gotten bigger as he had gotten bigger. He had always been able to move things without touching them, of course, and he had always been able to push and pull things on accident. He hadn't gotten strong, too strong, and his powers hadn't become too much until….until he had gotten older…as old as Miss Suzuki was now…
When he had been her age he'd locked himself away from the world. She not only lived in it but traveled and talked to people and made friends….she was so cool….and he wished he was half the person she was.
"Thanks. You're so generous…have I ever told you that? That you were a generous person? I should tell you more nice things…people like you when you tell them nice things." Said Miss Suzuki before she got back to smoking. He wondered if she was ok. She had been like this for a while now…and she had been smoking for a while too…but he wasn't sure if it counted as concern or criticism so he just kept his mouth shut.
"You already tell me enough nice things, Miss Suzuki." Said Serizawa
"Well I should tell you more! You…you're my friend. I don't have a lot of friends and…and the friends I don't have….I mean used to have….I mean the friends that…it's complicated." Said Miss Suzuki
"That's alright, you don't have to explain it to me if it's too complicated. We can just…just make more Miis." Said Serizawa. They didn't need any more Miis, they had Miis for everyone they knew. He used to make Miis when he had been little…when he had wanted to pretend that he'd had other people to play with. Now he had someone to play with and she already had a Mii…
But if she wanted to make more than that was alight.
Her knew one looked different. This one was taller and had red hair….oh! Of course, that made sense. She had changed her hair. She looked so pretty now….well she had always looked pretty but now she looked extra pretty…that is if she liked it! She changed her Mii's hair to blonde…or yellow? What was the difference between yellow and blonde? Was it like how Sho and Mukai had orange hair but everyone called it red? Or was it like how the President's hair was brown-ish but everyone called it red? Or was it just red that was weird and had a bunch of different names
He didn't know. He was a boy. He'd never had to think about hair colors.
Well not in the way that she did. When he had been younger, her age, he had wanted nothing more…well aside from the curse on him being lifted, was to have straight black hair like everyone else. His hair was straightish…when it was short. It grew all curly and wavy when it got long like this…and also it only grew up. The other kids used to pet his hair and pull on it and throw pencils to try and get them to stay…well that had ended fast…but the feeling still stayed. He still wanted it, straight black hair…even though it didn't matter. The only people he really hung out with were Miss Suzuki and Hatori and neither of them cared.
He decided to leave his Mii the way it was…aside from making it taller. He always made his Miis too short.
"I think that I'll leave her blonde…I think that she'd be blonde." Said Miss Suzuki. She nodded to herself like she was agreeing with herself…but that made no sense. If she agreed with herself then…well of course she agreed with herself. She must have been asking if he agreed with her.
"I-I-I think that whatever you do is great, Miss Suzuki." Said Serizawa
"I think that she would have been blonde." Said Miss Suzuki
"Who would have been? Sorry! Sorry, I was just…just thinking that you might have been making your Mii blonde because you wanted to be blonde now. You would look really pretty as a blonde but…but you look really pretty all the time! I mean…um…I'm sorry!" said Serizawa
"What are you…why are you sorry? I was just thinking that she would have had blonde hair." Said Miss Suzuki
"I'm just sorry that I don't know who you're talking about." Said Serizawa
"Shoko…or maybe Shigeo. If I were having a baby. I'm not. I'm sure I'm not and it's making me sad and…and it's like I miss Shoko but she was never real so it's like missing someone who's not there and…and it's complicated." Said Miss Suzuki. Serizawa nodded. It sounded complicated. He had barely been able to follow that…well that was because he wasn't always that smart, not as smart as Miss Suzuki was anyway.
"It is…but I'm sure that you're going to figure it out. You're really smart." Said Serizawa
"I...I am. Minegishi thinks that I'm not. They think that I'm dumb but I'm not. I know what I want and I know that I'd be a good mom." Said Miss Suzuki. Serizawa had no idea why Minegishi would have said something so mean to Miss Suzuki, especially since they were best friends. Minegishi could be kind of confusing, though. They had kissed him for no reason after all. Yes, they were just hard to understand. He certainly didn't understand.
Of course Miss Suzuki would have been a good mom.
Moms were good at taking care of you, they loved you, and they always knew what to do. Miss Suzuki was already like a mom not only to her brother and sister but all of her friends, too. Babies didn't seem like they would have been that much different than other people. They just needed to be fed and changed and held all the time. It didn't seem that complicated. Miss Suzuki was very nice and patient, she would have done a great job. She seemed sort of young but what did he know? She had done more in her life, she was more than half his age, than he had ever even dreamed out. She would have been a great mom and he knew that her baby would have been the best baby ever.
He hoped that, after her baby was born, she still had time to hang out with him. Even if they were just smoking and making Miis together.
"I don't think that you're dumb at all, Miss Suzuki. I think that…I mean if you care what I think I…I think that sometimes it's hard to understand them. They can be kind of…sometimes they do things that make a lot of sense. Like when they…um when they kissed me." Said Serizawa. He was red. He could feel it. Beside him a stack of games tipped over. Miss Suzuki just reached out with her powers and put them back together. She didn't make fun of him or laugh…well of course she wouldn't have. They were friends. He just hadn't ever had any friends before, especially not friends who were girls. When he had been in school girls had always made fun of him…but that had been years ago. That was over now.
Miss Suzuki wasn't like that. She was his friend.
"Oh yeah….I don't know why they did that either. Maybe they just wanted to kiss someone. I don't know, I don't really talk to them about stuff like that…I haven't talked to them in a while. Sometimes I worry that I'll never be able to talk to them again." said Miss Suzuki
"You-you can! I mean I won't turn the Wii off so you can go to their room and talk to them for as long as you like." Said Serizawa
"I don't want to…I mean I do but I don't. it's complicated. They said that I was…they said that I was too much…but I don't think that I am." Said Miss Suzuki
"I-I don't think that you're too much! I mean I don't even know what that means. How someone can be too much, I mean. People are just…people. It's not like they're water…or milk, you like milk better. You can't just pour some out if you have too much…um…if that makes sense." Said Serizawa
"It does and now I have to laugh. Please don't get scared. I just need to laugh now." Said Miss Suzuki before she did just what she said that she was going to do. She laughed. He wasn't scared. He wasn't sure if he was supposed to laugh too….alright. That was kind of scary, not knowing what to do, but…but it would be over soon…
It ended. Just not soon.
"Ok. Now I'm done laughing. That wasn't at you. I just thought about people being made of milk and it was funny…I mean it would be scary, like something out of So's movies, if it happened in real life and-oh! Did I tell you? Sho keeps on showing Mukai Train to Busan and-" said Miss Suzuki
"But that's a scary movie!" said Serizawa. He had seen part of that movie once…zombies were too scary. Big groups of people were scary enough on their own but to add zombies…no way!
"I know, right? He keeps on watching it with her because she keeps on asking for it and I wish I could tell him to stop but I can't, he's hurt…I hurt him." said Miss Suzuki. She had hurt her brother? But how did it work? She wasn't capable of hurting anyone.
"I don't understand…sorry." said Serizawa
"Don't be sorry, I don't get it either. He said that he wasn't in love with Shimazaki anymore and…and it's a mess. I mean I can't break up with Shimazaki and…and it's kind of nice, having someone who's nice to me all the time. Dad's being mean and Minegishi is mean and Fukuda…well he's been mean for years now…Tsuchiya and Shibata are always doing couple stuff together…Hatori is best friends with Dad….so it's like I only have you and Shimazaki left." Said Miss Suzuki. She sounded so sad…he needed to make her feel better. He didn't know. He had no clue what he was supposed to do. He just…he needed to change the subject. He had no idea why people were being mean to her and he had no relationship advice that he could give her, he had never had a girlfriend before, so he just…he needed to talk about what he knew.
"You can change the color of your Mii's body! I mean…I mean that your other Mii has a blue body and this one looks like you but blue so…so if it's supposed to be Shoko then maybe she should be a different color…or something." Said Serizawa. He held his breath. She was inhaling again. He hoped that he had said the right thing….he hoped that she was ok. She hoped that they were ok. He hoped….he hoped for more hope!
She exhaled. She smiled. He breathed again.
"You're right. I bet that Shoko would have had a different favorite color than me. I don't care what her favorite color is, even if it's something boring like plain white, I just want her to be happy." Said Miss Suzuki. She was so nice like that. Serizawa had never thought about it before, having kids, but she was…even though he had no idea what there even was to think about. She would have made a great mom. That was what moms did, they accepted you and loved you and cared for you no matter what you were like. Even if you were cursed. Even if you accidentally broke things and hurt people. A mom loved you no matter what.
"You…you would make a good mom, Miss Suzuki. I-! mean how I feel." Said Serizawa. He had just meant to say something nice. He hadn't meant so say…whatever it was that he'd said wrong. However she'd taken it. She had stopped flipping through colors, now, and her controller was floating in front of her. She was staring at him.
He looked away.
"I'm sorry." said Serizawa. He looked away. He had said something to offend her. He didn't know what but he knew it had been bad. He closed his eyes and waited for her to tell him that she was going home, now, and that she never wanted to see him again. He kept on bracing himself. She didn't say anything but he didn't dare open his eyes to see how mad she was. Maybe even mad enough to-
-hug him?
"Thank you, Serizawa, that's the nicest thing that anyone's said to me in a while." Said Miss Suzuki as she hugged him. She buried her face in his robe…he wished that he'd washed it this week…or last week….he wanted to pull away, to tell her that if she wanted to hug he could change, but he didn't have a chance to get a single word in edgewise.
"It's just been so hard and…and it's like nobody's on my side. It's like all I ever do is mess up but…but you're right. I would be a good mom. I'll show Minegishi. I can do whatever I want….but I don't have anyone I want to have Shoko with…I mean I have a boyfriend but Minegishi is the only person he wants to…and anyway it would be weird to do that with him…well everyone already thinks that I'm doing that with him so I might as well…but it would be so weird…I don't-" said Miss Suzuki. Serizawa knew that friends talked about this kind of thing but maybe not…maybe not friends who were boy and girl friends! He didn't want to know about the stuff she did…the things that she was planning on doing….
She was his best friend but….but he was still a boy and she was still a girl!
"Do you want to make a Mii for…for if you had a boy, too? We can do that and then we can play Mario Party together or-or Wii Music, I have that, or…um…whatever you want to play." Said Serizawa. She stopped hugging him…he held his breath again. She had to say something…hopefully nothing more about….all of that stuff. Maybe if she had been a boy…no, no way! Even then it would have been too much. He didn't know about love or…or any of that…so how could he possibly talk about it!
He knew about videogames. It was better if they stuck to videogames.
"Can we only play the mingames? And only the ones where we can be on the same team?" asked Miss Suzuki
"Of course!" said Serizawa. He felt lighter. Finally, something that he knew. Serizawa wished that he could have been a better friend to her. She needed someone who was more on her level. It was like he was still in newbie village and she was off clearing level bosses. She knew so much about things and…and she worried about things that he hadn't ever even though about. Relationships, babies, things that he knew that should have been thinking about since he was older but…but also things that he knew would never be in his reach.
That was ok, though, since he was happy with what he had. He didn't need anything other than Miss Suzuki's friendship…and to stick to things he knew.