Title: Final Illuminations
Author: Malenkaya
Rating: R for violence and swearing
Summary: RE movie fanfiction. In this sequel to "Fading Away" and "Into the Light", Alice, Michael, Rain and J.D continue in their efforts to defeat Umbrella, finding along the way new allies, new enemies—and new hope for Matthew Addison.
Disclaimer: I'm feeling daring, so I'm not going to post one. Ever again! So ha ha. If, strangely and ironically, I disappear from due to this heinous offence, I will be found under "TMonkey".
Feedback: Please! I live and breathe reviews! Flames, as long as they're explanatory, are fine.
Author's Notes:
And the thank you notes went out! Thanks to fanfiction(dot)nets lovely new review response program. If anyone needs to contact me, my email address is still on my page.
And of course another thank you to: masked-in-your-shadows, Sakura123, DarkPrincessPyro, Sarah, Rain1657, XMaster, and Kim Hughes . I really appreciate it :)
Also, another song shout-out to "Damaged People" by Depeche Mode, which didn't really inspire this chapter, but definitely helped shape it.
Chapter eight will be updated on December 9th.
And lastly…Hah! I wrote this entire chapter on Saturday morning in the span of three hours directly after posting the last. So it was done early—incredibly so—and that was quite nice. I hope you all enjoy it.
Chapter Seven: Damaged
When Alexei came out of the shower at 2:30 am, Rain was sitting on his bed, staring at him.
Dressed only in a soft black towel—because every fucking piece of material associated with him was black, apparently—he looked, for a moment, surprised to see her there.
Then the same, carefully guarded expression slipped down over his face and he smiled slightly, a tiny amount of pleasure seeping into his eyes. "Rain. Fancy seeing you here."
Rain didn't bother with any preamble.
"What did you say to J.D?" she asked bluntly, not bothering to elaborate, knowing he would know exactly what she was referring to.
She was gratified to see his face darken, if only slightly, before he asked, "Why?"
"Because he's mad at me," she said slowly, as if speaking to a two year old. "And I want to know why."
Alexei shrugged. "Because he's an idiot?"
His tone was sullen now, a blatant opposite to the blithe, careless tone he had taken on when he'd first seen her here, and she crossed her arms over her chest. "Tell me."
Alexei scowled at her as he stooped to pick up his clothes. "Just stay the fuck out of it, Rain."
For a moment she felt like she couldn't breathe, and she stood there, staring at him, hearing a light rain begin to clap against the windowpane.
Then she said, her voice shaking in anger, "No."
Alexei looked disgusted, and she hated herself for the pure wave of complete and utter misery that ran through her when she saw him looking at her that way.
Why the hell did she have to care so much?
"I'm a part of this," she told him sharply. "And you and J.D can't just tell me what to do, and lock me away into a fucking housewife role. I won't let you."
"Do you think this is about you?" he asked sharply, his expression one of an almost maliciously amused shock.
"What else would it be about?" she snarled at him. "J.D said you said something about what happened yesterday—"
He laughed.
He threw back his head and laughed, like this was all just some fucking joke, and she could feel something breaking inside her, could feel nothing but rage seeping through her blood.
"What happened yesterday," he said sharply. "Was a kiss. How old are you, twelve? It didn't mean anything."
Rain bit her lip harshly, willing herself not to respond. She was a fucking adult, she wasn't going to upset herself over this stupid cliché of a non-relationship.
She didn't say anything.
But she could feel the single tear, the one, stupid tear she couldn't hold back, as it slid slowly down her cheek.
Alexei looked pained, a crack finally splitting the mask, if only briefly, and his voice was unsteady as he said, "Get out, Rain."
"No," she said simply, ignoring the slight waver in her own voice as she added, "Not until you tell me what you said to J.D."
Alexei stood up and turned to face her, hurling the clothes down beside him. "You want to know what I said to Salinas?" he snapped at her. "Do you really want me to tell you?"
Rain folded her arms over her chest, hardening even as her body began to collapse in on itself. "Yes."
Alexei stared at her, his bright blue eyes burning a hold right through her; and then he shifted his gaze abruptly to the wall over her shoulder and said, a trembling blitheness in his voice, "I told him we fucked. Fairly graphically, too. There were a few demonstrations, a few imitations, but he managed to cut me off before I could draw him out a diagram."
Rain's face burned, even as she asked sharply, "Why?"
He shrugged. "It made him angry," he answered shortly. "It made him even angrier when I told him you enjoyed it."
"And you called me twelve?" she asked in sharp disbelief. "What the fuck is wrong with you?"
He looked back at her at that, and his blue eyes burned into hers as he folded his arms over his chest. "I told you what you wanted to know, so get the fuck out."
"What else did you say?" Rain asked, a forced calm straining her tone.
"I just told you—" Alexei started, and she cut him off.
"That can't be all you said," she said flatly. "I know J.D. You said more than just that."
Alexei looked almost impressed, but only said, "Fine. I told him you didn't trust him."
Another moment passed where Rain felt like she couldn't breathe, and then she whispered, not trusting herself to speak clearly, "You promised you wouldn't tell him that."
He raised his eyebrow. "I absolutely did not," he said simply, looking almost amused, and she stood up too, glaring at him.
"It was a private conversation," she snapped at him. "What the hell was I supposed to think?"
Alexei just stared at her, his expression bored; realizing she wasn't going to get an answer out of him, she spun to stalk out of the room—
And he grabbed her arm, gripping it tightly enough to leave marks in the skin as he yanked her back, his expression losing all measure of control as he snarled, "You want to know why I told J.D these things? Ask him. He's your fucking friend, he should be able to tell you."
Rain ripped her arm out of his grasp. "I'm not a messenger," she said coldly, her voice sharp. "If you have something you want to tell me, than tell me."
He only stared at her, looking for the first time completely out of control; pain etched on his face, ripping him apart into quadrants of anger, of rage, of pain—and of helplessness.
A moment passed.
"Fine," Rain spat. "Don't."
She spun and stomped to the door again; this time, Alexei didn't stop her, and she was both glad and oddly disappointed at the lack of any intercepting effort.
Her hand was on the handle of the door before she stopped and turned, glaring at him.
"One more thing," she said flatly. "I don't care what the fuck you say to me. You can tell all the fucking lies you want, do whatever the hell you want. I don't care."
"But stay away from J.D. Stay away from J.D, and stay away from my team, because if you interfere—if you put anyone here in any danger—I will fucking kill you."
She searched his eyes for some semblance of emotion and found none; the mask had slipped back over his face again, leaving his expression completely hidden.
"You got that?" she said finally, not wanting to leave until she had some sort of confirmation.
Alexei nodded. "Crystal clear," he said stonily.
"Good," she said bitterly, feeling lost at the empty victory.
And she left the room, leaving Alexei behind, that strange, slightly pained expression still lit in his eyes—
Only to run straight into J.D, who, sitting in the kitchen, had obviously heard everything.
Their eyes met instantly, and she stared at him, seeing him battling an instinctive desire to defend her, to walk into there and kick Alexei's ass—and keeping his promise, ignoring her completely.
She looked down at the floor.
"Rain—" he said quietly.
She looked back at him.
And then the sound of Alice screaming broke the unsteady silence.
xxxxx
Rain tore out of the kitchen, J.D following closely behind; a door banged open and he could hear Alexei join in the chase as Alice's screaming ground out to a terrifying halt.
Running up the stairs became the physical equivalent of climbing a mountain; racing through the hallway, a marathon.
Reaching the doorway first, Rain didn't even bother trying the door, pulling back and slamming into it, throwing it off it's hinges instantly—
And freezing, so that J.D, seconds behind her, almost slammed into her, and Alexei into him.
J.D peered over Rain's shoulder, the action fairly easy considering she was about six inches shorter than he was, and could feel Alexei doing the same on his other side.
Alice was splayed out on the ground, eyes closed, a thin film of blood covering her blond curls—
And Matt, or Nemesis, whatever was here now, was nowhere to be seen.
The sound of it's breathing echoed through the room.
"Alice?" Rain whispered.
J.D realized suddenly how stupid they'd been rushing up here so quickly, how vulnerable they'd left themselves. None of them had any ammunition or firepower of any kind.
Not that it would stop the monster. J.D had seen Nemesis in action, and he knew better than to assume the three of them could stop it.
But at least they would haven't been completely fucking helpless.
J.D could hear a harsh panting—
And then Michael appeared behind them, hair up in wild cowlicks all around his head, expression alert despite obviously having just woken up.
"Where is it?" he asked shortly.
J.D shrugged, feeling fairly idiotic as he did so but not knowing what to tell him—
And then a footstep resounded through the room, thudding on the thin carpet as Nemesis stepped forward, just slightly into the light—just enough so that they could see them, so that they could watch as the gentle lamplight spotlighted the mutation.
Blood pulsated through the thin, silvery tubes, it's massive muscles rippling as it smiled grotesquely at them, blood—Alice's blood, no doubt—dripping softly from the metal claws.
Somehow, it seemed far bigger—far more dangerous, far more lethal—than J.D had last seen him.
"Fuck," Alexei breathed behind him, his tone almost awed.
"I'll get the tranq," Michael said grimly.
"That's not going to work," J.D whispered.
Michael blinked owlishly at him.
"The rifle, then," he said decisively.
Rain spoke, still staring at the monster. "That's not going to work either."
Then she was jumping back into them, and they were all leaping back as Nemesis came screaming out of the darkness.
"Go!" Michael shouted at them, and they broke, racing out of the room as he slid discreetly into the corner, no doubt wanting to get Alice out before joining in the fairly futile battle.
It was pandemonium, and J.D's mind somehow separated from his body, floating listlessly at the top of the stairs as they threw themselves down them, all three clambering to their feet at the bottom.
"Outside!" Alexei was shouting hysterically, years of working in Umbrella leaving him fairly accustomed to giving orders in the heat of battle. "Everyone outside, we can't contain it!"
They ran for the door, J.D and Rain having no better ideas to offer—not when Nemesis was directly behind them, not when they could feel the floor shaking as they skimmed over it.
Some strange part of J.D noted that, outside, lights were turning on, nosy neighbors appearing in the window to see what all the commotion was about.
Like any normal person, they were obviously expecting a fight; an argument, perhaps, maybe even something as exciting as a break-in or assault happening, right here in their own neighborhood.
What they weren't expecting to see was exactly what they were going to give them—a monster.
They burst out of the front door, J.D barely registering the touch as Alexei shoved first Rain and then himself out the door before racing through it himself, slamming the door behind him in a useless effort to slow the monster down—
And the door burst off his hinges, and suddenly, J.D was back in his own body again, watching as the monster came racing out the door, it's hideous screams mingling with an even more grotesque sound J.D could only assume was laughter.
The air was suddenly filled with screaming, as every single person still out on the street at this time of the morning joined in the chaos—the teens across the street, eyeliner up to their eyebrows and piercings covering their face who scattered, shrieking wildly, into the night; the young mother across the street on her front porch, her baby screaming uncontrollably in her arms as she stared in open mouthed shock—
There was more than fifteen people looking, witnessing this all, and somewhere, a part of J.D realized two entirely connected things: firstly, that Umbrella was going to have a hell of a time covering this up.
Secondly, that there was no fucking way Umbrella wasn't at least halfway here.
The three of them had stopped at the sidewalk, unwilling to lead the monster into the rest of the neighborhood, and J.D shouted, "Umbrella—"
"They're already here," Alexei said grimly, shouting to be heard above the noise, and J.D and Rain stared down the street in shock.
Umbrella hadn't only sent a single team this time.
What was screaming down the street now could only be described as an armada.
They weren't the only ones who noticed—Nemesis looked almost gleeful as the vans screeched to a halt in front of the house, soldiers scrambling out, and J.D wondered if it could remember what had happened inside the corporation yesterday.
"Inside!" Alexei shouted.
And then they were all racing into the house, gunshots echoing around them and slamming into the roof above their heads—they could hear Nemesis screaming, in both fury and pain, and Rain said grimly, "Shock treatment" even as a shout of "The renegades!" came through the chaos.
Umbrella had obviously spotted them.
There was no door to slow them down, and they tore through the yawning doorway, bullets imbedding themselves in the walls around them—J.D clutched his arm in sympathetic pain, feeling it burning as the drugs started to wear off—
They tore up the stairs, and almost slammed into Michael, who was carrying Alice in his arms.
"Umbrella," J.D told him. "They're here—"
"I know," Michael said, his face pale and set. "I saw them pull up."
"They haven't fanned out yet," Alexei said immediately. "They'll think we're trapped, they're on the lower level already—once they secure Matt, they'll be up here in seconds."
J.D was surprised, despite himself, to hear Alexei actually referring to Matt by his name for once. It was a refreshing change from the word "It".
"That leaves the window," Alexei finished, fairly uselessly, his voice hard and face set as Michael's was.
It was a mark of how desperate they were that none of them argued the staggering and obvious negatives of this idea—the fact that Alice was unconscious, or that if Umbrella saw what they were doing, they could sniper them off one by one as they tore through the backyard.
At least there wasn't a fence back there.
"I'm the tallest," J.D volunteered immediately. "I can lower people down."
Alexei stared at him, and again, it was a mark of how serious the situation was that he didn't bother arguing. "Fine. I'll go first, I'll take Rain and Michael, and they can guard while I help you get Alice down."
Michael nodded, looking relieved; whether it was because, for once, he hadn't had to decide anything or if because he hadn't had to break up any arguments, J.D didn't know. "Good."
The downstairs level was filled with the sound of heavy footfalls as more soldiers joined the first group.
"Let's get started, shall we?" Alexei asked edgily, his voice taking on the same blithe casualty it adopted whenever he was under stress.
He moved to the windowsill, and J.D reached out to give him a hand—he stared at him for a moment, his icy blue eyes hard, before he took his hand.
J.D leaned out the window, grasping his hand tightly, feeling like his arm was going to be ripped out of his socket with the weight of him as he lowered him gently, lessening the height Alexei had to fall as much as he could—
And then he let Alexei go, and he crashed to the ground and was up instantly, glaring impatiently at him. "Weapon, J.D."
A wave of embarrassment crashed over him at his own stupidity as he realized he still hadn't bothered to grab any weapons, and he turned to look at the rest of them—
Only to find, to his relief, that Rain and Michael were both already armed, Michael handing him another two revolvers.
J.D shoved one into his pocket and tossed the other one down to Alexei, who caught it, looking annoyed.
"A revolver?" he mouthed up at J.D, and J.D rolled his eyes, not even acknowledging him as he turned to help Rain down, who stepped forward, shoving her own weapon into the waistband of her jeans.
She climbed onto the windowsill and looked back at him, grasping his wrists tightly—he gripped hers in return, and she slid off the windowsill, finally dropping onto the ground and joining Alexei.
Michael was next, and he placed Alice carefully against the wall, propping her head up against it before turning to face J.D.
It didn't escape either of him that his hands were covered in Alice's blood, blood that transferred onto J.D's as he lowered him down as well.
He almost had a heart attack when he was lowering Alice down, dangling her as far and as gently as was humanly possible as Alexei reached up to catch her, and the first bang came on the door.
Alexei caught Alice, and pulled her carefully out the way.
J.D stifled a hysterical laugh—Umbrella knocks?—
And then threw himself out the window, unwilling to risk taking the extra time to do it carefully.
He landed on his shoulder, and gripped it tightly, muffling a shout of pain that threatened to explode out of his throat—Rain grabbed his other hand, pulling him up both gently and ruthlessly—
And then they were gone, running into the night, leaving the sounds of chaos and screaming, the bright flashing lights of ambulances and police cards, far behind them.
xxxxx
That had been three hours ago.
Now they were back where they'd started, in a dirty, rundown apartment Umbrella had already searched and given up on, and Michael had a decision to make.
Alice, thank God, had been fine. She'd woken up an hour later in the safe house, inquired dully as to where Matt was, and had promptly passed out.
Unfortunately, when she'd woken up again in half an hour, she'd been slightly more coherent.
Coherent enough to ask about the one thing Michael had desperately been avoiding discussing.
The anti-virus.
Her blue eyes had bore holes in him, her blue eyes with depths speaking of loss, of misery, of guilt and regret, and still, horribly, hope.
She had been calm, strangely so—the desperation, the unchanging naiveté regarding Matt had disappeared, leaving only a calm, steady assurance that was somehow so much more convincing.
Alice wouldn't say what had happened in the bedroom. She'd shut down almost completely as soon as he'd brought it up, only saying quietly that it wasn't over yet.
"There's still hope, Michael," she'd whispered softly, the quiet confidence surrounding her like the light of a halo, making her appear soft and angelic.
"How can you know that, Alice?" Michael had asked her, already despairing, already anticipating the same thoughtless desperation that had led her arguments eight hours earlier.
But Alice had turned to him, smiling gently, and said, "He remembers, Michael."
"It's not over. Not yet."
And now he was here, standing, poised, in front of Alexei's door, unsure.
Going inside meant betraying Alice, betraying the entire group; furthering this mess of lies and deception and false hopes.
Staying outside, though, meant he risked losing Alice. Which in turn meant he risked losing all of them.
He felt sick as he knocked softly.
There was no answer—Alexei never just called somebody in—but rather the door opened, and Alexei was there, a towel wrapped around his waist.
Michael narrowed his eyes at him. "You're taking a shower right now?"
Alexei stared at him. "Why wouldn't I?" he asked evenly. "It's what I was doing three hours ago, before this whole mess started and I was forced to throw on some of yours or J.D's almost assuredly dirty clothing, thus rendering that shower useless."
Michael blinked. "What?" he asked, and then cut himself off, not wanting to distract himself, not now, when so much was at stake. "Never mind. Look, can I come in?"
One blond eyebrow disappeared into Alexei's forehead, but he stepped back, leaving the door wide open.
Michael stepped through, and Alexei closed the door and sat down on the couch.
Despite Alexei's best attempts to give the living room—his room, for now—some small degree of privacy, the other end of it still led into the kitchen, making it a fairly sad attempt.
Not that one, looking at Alexei, who sprawled out on the couch as he was king of the world and said, "Talk", would have realized it.
Michael stared at him, unsure of where to proceed—then, as Alexei began to look distinctly annoyed, said simply, "I need your help."
Alexei straightened up at this; a tinge of emotion finally crept into his voice as he asked, "Is everything okay?"
"Yes," Michael was quick to reassure him. "It's just—Alice."
Narrowed eyes, and Alexei commented, "What about Alice?"
"I don't think she's going to stay," Michael said bluntly. "Not after what happened last night. Not if she doesn't get the anti-virus."
Alexei stared at him. "Michael"—and some part of Michael realized, dimly, that somewhere along the way, they'd all fallen into a pattern of calling each other by name.
Living in a cage, consistently bombarded by the same enemy, could do that to people.
"The anti-virus doesn't exist," Alexei told him flatly.
"I know," Michael said, and his ears were ringing, his voice oddly detached from his body as he said, "I need you to tell her it does."
A full minute passed. In that minute, Alexei just stared at Michael, his blue eyes cutting through him like knives and somehow making Michael feel less than human, less than a cockroach, even though he knew, knew, that this had to be done.
They couldn't lose Alice.
"No," Alexei said flatly, and his voice was shaking with barely concealed rage. "No, Cahill, I don't think so."
Michael hastened to explain. "Alexei, we can't lose Alice. If we don't tell her Matt can still be cured—"
"Lie to her, you mean," Alexei cut him off curtly.
Michael swallowed. "Yes. Lie to her. If we don't, Alice leaves. If that happens, we're screwed, she's screwed, your screwed—if we don't take down Umbrella, here and now, we'll be running from them our entire lives."
Alexei stared at him, his cold eyes unreadable; and then he stood, and gestured towards the door. "Get out, Cahill."
"Demitrov," Michael said, anger and guilt blending together into his voice. "You don't understand—"
"What I understand," Alexei spat at him, his voice full of disgust, "Is that you have no fucking respect for Alice or anyone else in your group."
Michael felt his face burn; but there was no response acceptable for the comment, and he lowered his head, letting Alexei say the rest, wanting him to.
He deserved it.
"Rain might be selfish and reckless," Alexei said darkly, "J.D is a selfish idiot, and even Alice doesn't think with her fucking head anymore."
He deserved all of it, because it was all correct—this was wrong, horribly wrong.
It was also necessary, and somebody had to do it.
"But at least they're bloody honest about it," Alexei finished sharply. "But you? You're nothing."
"You're not a saint," Michael said, angry despite himself. "You can't stand here, and say these things about me and my team."
Alexei smiled chillingly. "I never said I was," he pointed out.
Michael nodded. "Fine," he said sharply. "I trust you won't say anything about this to Alice?"
Part of him knew he didn't have to bother asking—Alexei was motivated entirely by self-interest, and no matter how disgusted he was by Michael's actions, he wouldn't interfere.
"Of course," Alexei answered, looking bored. "Now leave, Cahill."
Michael gave a short nod and turned to do so, crossing over the floor.
He was at the door, his hand on the knob, when Alexei spoke again.
"And Cahill?"
He turned to look at him, and Alexei said, a slightly menacing tone to his voice, "You're not a fucking saint either. You're not doing this to save your group, you're doing this for your own goddamn reasons."
He smiled, then, obviously satisfied by Michael's stunned reaction, and added, "Remember that."
Without bothering to respond, Michael turned the knob and escaped from the room.
xxxxx
Rain Ocampo was scared.
Everything was falling apart around her—everyone was falling apart around her—and if there was anything she hated, it was losing her control over everything around her.
None of them were the same anymore, and none of them were ever going to be the same again.
She was finally starting to realize that.
A knock resounded on the door, and she stared at it tiredly—at the moment, there was absolutely nobody she wanted to speak to.
Seeing Alice would only reinforce that sense of futility, as seeing her own mother dead on the floor had made her realize that there was not going to be a happy ending for Rain Ocampo. Seeing Michael meant discussion, because Michael, while having the best of intentions, was entirely too preoccupied with talking things out.
Of course, that was assuming Michael even bothered checking up on them in Alice's absence.
The last few months, taking on the role of leadership, had taken their toll on Michael, just as it continued to take it's toll on Alice.
Seeing Alexei was something she didn't even want to think about—Rain hadn't had fucking time to think about anything regarding Alexei or what he had said, and now was the last time she wanted to dredge all that shit up.
So despite their earlier fight, she was glad that it was J.D who pushed the door open when he received no early response.
He looked exhausted; there was no more anger on his face, and he said simply, "Hey."
A part of her was stunned to hear her respond, with no particular anger, "Hey."
Somehow, their argument seemed so much less important now that things had fallen apart so badly; now that Matt was gone again.
J.D didn't ask before climbing onto the bed, crawling carefully across to where she was sitting, leaning against the wall.
He sat next to her; and like some automatic response put her arm around her, and she let her head rest on his shoulder, let herself be quiet, for once.
"Are you okay?" he asked quietly, and she felt comforted by the reverberations that ran through his chest at the words.
"Are you?" she asked simply, pointedly, and he shrugged.
There were no easy answers.
She fidgeted, uncomfortable, and finally asked, "What did you say to Alexei?"
"I told him you didn't trust him."
She couldn't help but laugh at that, and he looked at her, surprised. "What?"
"You two are exactly the fucking same," she told him. "It's fucking exasperating."
"I'm sorry about what I said before," he said abruptly.
She nodded. "We didn't sleep together, you know," she said shortly. "You should have known that."
"I did," he admitted, and his arm tightened around her. "Even before—"
He fell silent, and she rolled her eyes. "I know you eavesdropped. Doesn't matter."
"Kind of hard not to," he pointed out, and she shrugged.
"I know."
"He didn't mean half of what he said anyway," J.D continued. "He was just mad. I shouldn't have blamed everything on him, and I shouldn't have blamed you."
"Yeah," Rain said dully, and J.D looked at her again.
"He's not all bad," he added abruptly. "I don't think he even meant it."
"He meant what he said later, though," she said darkly. "Anyway, why do you care? You hate him."
He shrugged. "If he makes you happy, that's good, isn't it?" he said simply.
She stared at him this time; he looked completely serious. "Thanks," she said, slightly uncertain still about his newfound maturity.
There was a slight silence, which J.D broke again abruptly. "I fucked up with Olivia, and I know you hated her, but I cared about her. And she was a good person."
Rain let out a snort of disbelief, unable to help it, and J.D nudged her slightly. "She was. She was just scared. I know that doesn't make what she did right, but—I loved her."
Rain didn't respond, and he didn't seem to mind, going on: "I loved her, and she seemed nice—and then she almost killed us all, pretty much doomed Matt, and took off. Then comes Alexei, and he doesn't even try to act like a human being, acting like an arrogant—"
He cut himself off, and she grinned at him. "An arrogant what, J.D?"
He gave her a small smile. "Mutant?"
It was almost funny, would have been funny, if the words didn't bring up images of Matt, of Nemesis as he'd stood on the front lawn, screaming and laughing in the purest rendition of malice.
They were quiet for a moment, and then J.D said quietly, "I just didn't want you to get hurt."
Rain nodded, but didn't say anything; she just breathed, feeling him doing the same, knowing there was more to say.
"And I hated Alexei… because you seemed to trust him."
J.D's voice had an unsettling waver as he added, "And when he told me you didn't trust me anymore—I knew he was right."
"I don't—" Rain started, and then she stopped, because she couldn't lie. "I'm sorry."
His arm tightened around her again. "Don't be," he said almost vaguely. "That's not even it. I just realized, then, that we, all of us—we're falling apart. We don't trust each other anymore, we're always fighting, and because of that, our situation is falling apart too."
The comment struck through Rain like a knife, and she realized the truth of it even as she whispered, "I don't want that to happen."
"Me neither," J.D said, his tone now blunt and matter-a-fact. "That's why I'm telling you this. That's why I'm going to start trusting you again, because it doesn't matter what you did or why—you made the decision because you thought it was best, and it doesn't matter whether it was or not."
Rain nodded. "Good," she said vaguely. "And me too."
There was the slightest of silences as they both sat, weary and damaged but finally starting to heal, and then J.D spoke.
"And hey, if things don't work out with Alexei, I'm always willing to kill him for you."
Rain laughed.
xxxxx
It was finished.
Michael had spoken to Alice. He had told her all the nice things she wanted to hear—
Lie to her—
And they had talked, and they had decided on a plan for tomorrow.
Alice had seemed better, she had seemed happier and revived, and if it hadn't been for the realization of how completely, utterly shattered she was going to be when she found out the truth, Michael might have been able to tell himself he was doing the right thing.
Somehow, Alexei's words had hit home with him.
This was selfish. He was doing this for the good of the team—but he was part of that team, and it was his own success that he was thinking about, far above everyone else's.
But what was done was done; he'd made the decision, signed the agreement and taken the silver, and betrayed Alice in probably the worst way possible.
It was over.
And for better or for worse, they were going in tomorrow.