Hatori, at one point, had a real shot at winning this thing.
That was before Suzuki showed up.
"But you…you said that you've never even played this game before. You said that you hated the first Streetfighter so much that the thought of even picking up a controller made you want to start breaking things…." Said Hatori. He couldn't believe his eyes. He had cleaned his glasses but he couldn't even…he still couldn't believe his eyes. Serizawa…well it made sense that he and Serizawa had been tied, Serizawa had eaten, breathed, and slept videogames for fifteen years. Suzuki on the other hand…he only played old school arcade games.
Way more old school that Streetfighter 2!
He played Pong and Space Invaders and Asteroids. He didn't just…he didn't just invite himself over, steal Hatori's nachos and Serizawa's controller, and then kick his ass! That was…ok, if they had been playing one of Suzuki's old school games then it would have made sense. Hell, if Serizawa had beaten him it would have made more sense….none of his made sense!
And he wanted his nachos back!
"This is the second iteration of this game. It's much smoother and there are far more button combinations. I find it much more enjoyable." Said Suzuki as he ate another nacho. He passed the controller back to Serizawa with his powers. This was just what he needed. Company he understood and, surprisingly good, food. Sure the cheese had been spelled 'cheez' on the product and the simplified Chinese had only called it a cheese like food…and he was mostly sure that cheese chips didn't need anymore cheese…but with some ketchup on top this was the perfect meal. Shigeko would have had a better iteration of it, of course…
But he wasn't going to be eating with Shigeko again for a while.
"I-I like it better too. I mean I don't like fighting games but I like playing with you both and…um…do you want another turn, President Suzuki?" asked Serizawa. He didn't want to play anymore. He actually, well, if he'd had a choice, he would have played more Animal Crossing with Miss Suzuki…or maybe more Mario if she was feeling like something violent. She hardly ever did, though, and…well he liked Hatori a lot and he liked President Suzuki a lot…
But really, he would have rather been playing something a little less…violent.
"Yes please, thank you." Said Suzuki as he took the controller back from Serizawa. He could see, really, why Shigeko spent so much time with him. He was thoughtful of others just as she was.
"…you only won because it's an arcade controller. If we were playing with actual controllers then I wouldn't have lost." Said Hatori
"Yes, most likely, now choose your character." Said Suzuki
"I want to play something else." Said Hatori
"Well I don't, now choose your character." Said Suzuki. No. This was what he needed. Wanton violence of the virtual variety. Since he couldn't beat Shimazaki up, or maim him, or mortally injure him, he was going to have to take his rage out in other ways. As much as he disliked Shimazaki he knew that Shigeko would never have forgiven him if he were to do something to her…friend. He still loved her, even though she had been a stranger to him lately….he still loved her. He loved her enough to let her have whatever she wanted and what she wanted was Shimazaki Ryou.
And what he wanted was to kill Shimazaki Ryou but since that wasn't possible he was going to do the next best thing and get his rage out in semi-productive ways.
"We could…we could all play Animal Crossing together. I mean I have a second DS with the game….well it's not mine, actually, Miss Suzuki just left it here on accident so I probably should ask her if it's ok for you to borrow it. I'm sure that she'll say yes-" said Serizawa. He wondered if he had said the wrong thing. The President's aura was showing, now, and it was actually kind of pretty. All the red and yellow. There was a lot more yellow in there than red this time…it was nice…
But he had been around other espers for long enough to know that it was never a good thing when an aura showed.
"No. Do not speak to my daughter. Leave her alone." Said Suzuki
"For….forever or for now?" asked Serizawa. He didn't think that he could have left Miss Suzuki alone forever. She was his best friend and his reason for getting up in the morning. If he didn't have to spend time with her…well there was Hatori, of course, but he could be kind of…a lot…sometimes. He got mad about the strangest things sometimes and Serizawa….well he didn't like talking to people who were upset…
But if President Suzuki told him that he wasn't allowed to talk to Miss Suzuki anymore then…well he would do what he was told. President Suzuki was kind of scary sometimes…a lot of the time.
"For now, obviously, I would never ask you to cut contact with my daughter. Out of all the men in her life I like you the best." Said Serizawa. He was…not quality. He wasn't what could have been described as every father's dream for his daughter. He lived in pajamas, he hadn't quite gotten the hang of grooming, his hair was far too long…or perhaps high was the correct word for it, and…well he was more of a child than Hatori…but he was harmless. That was what Shigeko needed, someone harmless.
But Shigeko had never been good at knowing what she needed.
"Hey! I'm right here!" said Hatori. There was no way in hell Suzuki liked Serizawa better than him! He had been friends with Suzuki for way longer and he'd done way more for him, too. Who had been the one to convince him to divorce his wife? Hatori. Who had been the one to convince him to go out with Shiori? Hatori. Who was the one who kept all of his weird secrets for him? Hatori. There was no way in hell Suzuki was going to be replacing him! None!
"I know. I can see you and I can sense you. What's your point?" asked Suzuki
"Nothing just…I don't know. You like Serizawa better than me or…or something." Said Hatori. Well now that he'd said it out loud he felt like a moron. God, maybe he really was just a really tall kid…no. He wasn't even that tall. Maybe he was just a kid, in that case, a twenty two year old kid….
"You do?" asked Serizawa. Wow! The President liked him the best. Nobody had ever liked him the best before…aside from Mom, of course, but she was his Mom. She had no choice. She had to like him because he was her kid. If he had just been someone she had met on the street she wouldn't have wanted anything to do with him…but then again who would have? He was such a burden…even after rejoining society he was still such a burden…
He was glad that Miss Suzuki like Shimazaki better than him. She deserved someone like him…even if it was kind of weird how much older than her he was…but Serizawa had spent fifteen years in his room. What did he know about normal?
"No, I don't. I've known you for longer and therefore you are a better friend to me. Now stop feeling jealous, that isn't even what I was talking about. I was talking about how I approve of the time he spends with Shigeko. He's a better friend to her. You had your chance and you lost it, so don't be bitter." Said Suzuki
"Chance?" asked Hatori
"At one point Shigeko had feelings for you but now she does not. You lost you chance with her just as you lost your chance with Shibata. That's your problem, you're too indecisive. That's why you're going to die alone." Said Suzuki
"Mob…was ten when she liked me….are you saying that you wanted me to go out with her when she was ten? Because I don't know what you heard but I'm not into that! I'm not into…you really want to know what I'm into? Because I'll tell you but it's weird…not weird like being into Mob but still pretty weird. You want me to go and get my hard drive out? Because I'll get my hard drive out right now and my 4K monitor and-and yeah, I'll show you everything!" Said Hatori. He was prepared, at that moment, to get his secret hard drive out and go over every single movie, picture, and game he had. Right then and there in front of Suzuki, Serizawa, and God, if it proved that he wasn't some kind of weird lolicon guy….just…
He wasn't weird! Not like that, anyway!
"P-Please don't!" said Serizawa. He hadn't known that Miss Suzuki had been in love with Hatori…or maybe he had…he just…it was hard to think when Hatori said things like that! He didn't want to look at pictures like…like he ones he knew Hatori must have had…not when there were other people around! That was private!
"If you two want to watch pornography together then you can count me out." Said Suzuki. He may have been bisexual but that did not mean that he wanted to…blur lines…with every single man he knew. Sure Hatori was somewhat attractive when he was calm and dressed nicely, and Serizawa had real potential, but these were his friends. Friends were not meant to become lovers. He had tried that already and all that had done was make things very awkward between him and Tadashi to the point of….of they hadn't spoken in so long…and it hurt…but it had no reason to hurt! He had Shiori and…and she would not have approved of him sitting in a darkened room watching pornography with two men young enough to have been his sons. So there.
"No! Please, not that! I-I'll play more Streetfighter or Mortal Kombat or even that game Sho likes where people eat each other's organs and things jump out and scare you…just…please! No naked girls!" said Serizawa
"Are you asexual? Wait no, that was a personal question…but I'm the President and I can ask whatever questions I want to ask." Said Suzuki. That was…well he knew, objectively, that it was none of his business who Serizawa wanted to go to bed with. It would have put him more at ease, though, knowing that Serizawa held zero potential for any sort of romantic or sexual desire towards Shigeko. In his research on alternative sexualities, there was so much more out there than when he had been young, he had come across asexuality…which had made no sense…
But then again nothing about the modern world made sense.
"I-I'm not…I mean I've never done anything…well only kissing but…but I'm not that!" said Serizawa
"I don't think he's asexual, I think he just doesn't want to make this whole thing weird…weirder than it is." Said Hatori. He was still fully prepared to go over all six terabytes of his porn, well porn and HD games collection, if it proved that he wasn't into Mob. She was just a kid and…ok, she used to have a crush on him and if she got one again then it would have been awkward…but it wasn't like he could ever like her back! Even when she grew up it would have been too damn weird. He'd met her when she was ten. That was just….who could look at her and think 'yeah, I would totally hit that'?
Well other guys who were Mob's age…he suddenly had the urge to lock her in her room for the next fifteen years….Serizawa had turned out mostly alright…better than Mob would have turned out if she knew how gross teenage guys were.
"Oh…are you a homosexual? Just out of curiosity." Said Suzuki. Even as a homosexual he would have been alright with Serizawa spending every waking moment of his life with Shigeko. It would have been perfect. He would have fulfilled her need for male companionship outside of her family and as far as sexual needs went…well she had no idea what she was missing so therefore she couldn't desire it. Yes. It all made perfect sense.
"N-No! I like girls! I mean I kissed Shimazaki and now I know that I don't like boys and I kissed Minegishi so I know that I like girls or at least nonbinary people who used to be girls and…oh no! Was that…I mean I don't know if that was supposed to be a secret….sorry." said Serizawa. Now he was being stared at by both the President and Hatori. It felt like they were both trying to stare through his body into his soul or through his skin or something like that. He just…sometimes things just came out! He just…well the President had asked and…and Serizawa liked girls but he had to prove it and-and-and-
-and why did everyone have to pick now of all times to stare at him!?
"…what….the…fuck!? When were you going to tell me this? You kissed BOTH of them…wait…you actually got Minegishi to kiss you? What the…I used to be so into them and just…what the hell?! How did you…is it because you're tall? I mean Shimazaki kisses everyone but Minegishi…that's a fucking accomplishment! Why didn't you tell me?" asked Hatori. You thought you knew a person….wow. Serizawa…was doing better than Hatori ever had. He'd been locked in his room for fifteen years, his best friend as twelve, and he thought that the best Mario Party game was eight….maybe the gods or God or whoever was crazy…or maybe his life was like one of those shows where the main character was a loveable loser…
Obviously without the loveable part.
"I…I don't know why they did it…why both of them did it. I mean Minegishi is…kind of mean and scary and Shimazaki…he said that he was making us even but I didn't think it worked that way and…and I don't even like him like that and I don't like Minegishi like that and-and please stop staring at me!" said Serizawa. He pulled his sweatshirt up over his head. He couldn't stand it. This was…this was all really private. The only person who he had told was Miss Suzuki and she was good at keeping secrets. So was he. He hadn't said a word about her and Shimazaki and…and he didn't know if his other friends were as good at keeping secrets as she was and…and he just wanted to be alone!
But he couldn't be alone. He couldn't even hide in his own sweatshirt.
"You aren't a turtle. Don't act like one." said Suzuki as he pulled Serizawa's head from his sweater. Honestly. He was such a child. These developments in his romantic life were….troubling, to say the least, there went his plans for Shigeko, but really two kisses did not warrant quite such a dramatic reaction…though he was in the presence of children. To them kisses were everything. They couldn't even fathom what came afterwards just as Suzuki hadn't been able to fathom such things when he'd been their ages…he'd lost his virginity at sixteen….when he'd been their mental ages. Yes. That made much more sense.
"I-I'm sorry, President Suzuki!" said Serizawa. He reached for his umbrella….but it wasn't there. He just…everyone was looking but…but he had to stay calm. Miss Suzuki would have wanted him to stay calm.
"I accept your apology, now calm down." Said Suzuki as he syphoned some extra energy from Serizawa. It took a moment to integrate with his aura…a moment of fear and embarrassment which rocked not only his body but the room…how in the world did Shigeko deal with this every single day?
"I-I'll try my best!" said Serizawa
"It had better be good enough." Said Suzuki
"I-I-I have no idea…I mean….I-I-I-" said Serizawa
"Just so you know I'm not into Mob. She's twelve. Just, you know, so you know." Said Hatori, coming to Serizawa's aid like only a true friend would have. He really didn't want to think about how not only did Suzuki think that he was into Mob…gross….but also that he shipped them somehow…extra gross. That was…Suzuki was a weirdo…but he hadn't thought that Suzuki was THAT much of a weirdo….
He was going to have to reevaluate this friendship in that case.
"Obviously you're not attracted to her now or when she was even younger. That would have been wrong, very wrong. I simply meant that when she came of age, more so than she has now, you would have been perfect for her. You cannot survive on your own and you have no expectations of her. That's what she needs. She doesn't need…she shouldn't be so shallow. That's….he's attractive and he's powerful but there's more to it than that…." Said Suzuki
"Who?" asked Hatori. He better not have meant…Shimazaki was just messing with everyone. That was what he did. He trolled people in real life. That was just…he shouldn't have been bringing Mob into it but it wasn't like he was serious. He wasn't dumb. Sure he was probably high all the time but he wouldn't have just gone and done….he knew better than to repeat history, right? Because Suzuki didn't just cut off pinky fingers or banish you. He left you to die or he used you for cruel medical experiments or he just used you as target practice. Not that Hatori had any love for Shimazaki….but it really would have upset the kids if Suzuki killed him.
"Nobody." Said Suzuki quickly. He didn't know anything for sure so he wasn't going to start speaking in certainties. If he spoke in certainties than he might as well have been declaring Shimazaki to be his son-in-law…oh God….
"I…um…I'll…do you want to play against me next, President Suzuki?! I mean since you already beat Hatori…" said Serizawa. He was going to guard Miss Suzuki's secrets with his life…he wasn't sure if it was ever going to come to that…but if it came to that then he would gladly have laid down his life for her and her secrets! She had sworn him to secrecy and-and that meant something!
"Yeah! You play him and I'll…make more nachos. Yeah. That's…that's something to do…" said Hatori as he got up. This was getting too weird. He liked Suzuki a lot but even he had his limits and…yeah…these were those limits.
"More ketchup and less cheese like product this time." Said Suzuki. This was…he still needed this. He still needed to forget. He needed to forget Shigeko and what she up to or didn't and…and he was back on track. This was why people had friends. They were good for distractions, and dinner as well. He had never needed anyone, or at least he had tried to, but….well it was nice to have friends.
"Sure thing." Said Hatori as he closed the door behind him. That was just….ok. He could do this. He was fine. This whole thing was just….he was going to focus on the nachos and not how weird that had all gotten. Actually maybe the weird thing was good, the weirdness, because it meant that Suzuki trusted him. He trusted him with Mob and Mob was his most important….well not possession but….he loved her the most out of all of his kids. That was kind of an honor….a weird honor but an honor. Suzuki was just weird, that was all, and you either got weird with him or you didn't make it.
Hatori was going to make it…though maybe without getting as weird as he felt like Suzuki wanted to get.