Say it out loud! I'm otaku and proud!
The Shinobi's Guide to Drama
By Kaori
"I worry about the future of Konoha." Shikamaru said solemnly. "With Tsunade in charge things have become more troublesome than ever."
"What would you know about trouble, you're only fourteen." Scoffed Ino, loftily. The chuunin was about to point out that so was she but thought better of it.
"At least we have some consolation of being allowed to pick the play." Shrugged Sakura, trying to put things in a good light; she was thwarted by Neji.
"That's like giving a condemned man a choice between being hanged or being drowned."
"Geez you're morbid."
"You would be too if…" the standard "my father was killed to protect the accursed Main House" rant was cut short by the entrance of Uzumaki Naruto (thank Kami-sama).
"I have a plan!" he announced.
"Oh? This doesn't have anything to do with ramen, does it?" mocked Sasuke.
"No! It's for the play you ass!" Naruto yelled and shook his fist at the Uchiha. "We should do a play about Konoha only we make fun of everybody. After all, we might as well enjoy ourselves if they're gonna make us do this anyway, right?"
The others mulled it over.
"I'm in." smirked Kiba and Akamaru barked his agreement. "I say we make them regret ever thinking of making us do this stupid play."
"Heh, for once I agree with the idiots." Sasuke smirked, earning him glares from Naruto and Kiba who knew he meant them and both secretly planned revenge.
"Hell yeah! If Sasuke-kun's doing it then so am I!" cheered Ino.
"You won't show me up Ino-pig! I'm in too!" hollered Sakura. Shikamaru sighed.
"It's not like we have any other options open to us. Besides Ino will yell at me if I don't and headaches are far too troublesome so I guess I'm in."
"Me too." Grunted Chouji. Shino nodded, the only indication that he was agreeing to any of this.
"My orders are to…help." Neji had an evil grin on his face. "I intend to complete this mission."
"Oh boy…" TenTen sighed. "I suppose I'll go along with it too. What about you, Hinata?"
"A…anou…I'll help t…too." Whispered Hinata giving in to the overwhelming force that is peer pressure and not wanting to be left out, especially since this plan was conceived by her crush. Naruto frightened everyone with his absolutely diabolical expression (especially Kiba and Akamaru who had seen it before).
"Eeeexcellent…." The jinchuuriki said and for good measure he added a "Kukukuku" a la Orochimaru. "Woah… Ero-sannin's right, that is fun." The others facefaulted; clearly Uzumaki is mad; brilliant in his own mischievous way, but utterly mad. Shikamaru broke the tension by suggesting that they assign some tasks.
Naruto, Sakura, Neji and Sasuke were to go to the archives and dig up what they could on the people they were going to be portraying and then talk to people to learn everything else. Seeing as how their current knowledge of their intended targets was missing a few details it could only help them, after all one can't accurately make fun of someone without knowing some details about them.
While they were doing that, Ino, Hinata, and TenTen were to scope out the local stores and see what prices they could get on cloth. They were on a tight budget as Tsunade couldn't give them anything to buy the things they needed and the would-be actors had to use their own money. Fortunately, with Hinata, Neji, and Sasuke contributing they wouldn't have to resort to second-hand stores and drapery but they couldn't splurge either.
Kiba, Shino, Chouji, and Shikamaru were going to look for props. Jokingly, Kiba suggested they raid Kakashi's apartment as he'd heard Kurenai say he had all sorts of costumes and accessories in there. Team 7 collectively glared at him and Hinata turned bright red. There were rumours all over the village about the copy-nin's little ecchi toy box.
"They're up to something." Said Iruka.
"According to you, they're always up to something." Asuma said absently. They were in a restaurant having lunch with Kakashi and Kurenai and had been discussing the current academy students which ultimately led to a discussion on the Rookie Nine.
"And whenever he brings it up he's usually right." Kurenai pointed out.
"Woman's intuition?" Kakashi quipped.
"Haha." Iruka said, dryly. "It might interest you to know that Tsunade is making them do a play."
"So?" Asuma and Kakashi still weren't properly concerned, so Iruka had to elaborate.
"Konohamaru and his friends tell me that was all she told them. Apparently the content is up to their discretion." Silence reigned as the jounins looked at Iruka and then at each other.
"I think I'll join Shizune under her bed." Said Kurenai.
"I'll come too." Kakashi leered.
"Get your own hiding space."
"Maa, you're no fun Kurenai. Iruka, mind if I hide at your place?"
"Yes." Smirked Iruka.
"Damn you all." Kakashi half-heartedly swore. "Ne, Asuma, you don't seem too worried."
"That's because I haven't done anything to be ashamed of."
"What about…" Iruka started.
"I seriously doubt they'd find out about that."
Elsewhere…
"You're kidding!" Sakura gaped.
"Heh, if only I was that good of a liar!" chuckled Hachiko. As much as Sakura didn't like the hookah smoking old woman, she was the only person Sakura knew that had any dirt on Asuma worth using.
Back with Iruka and the jounins, Asuma suddenly shivered.
"Ugh, I think a cockroach just walked over my grave…" he glanced out the window, nervously. "I think I'll go hide after all."
What did Sakura find out about Asuma? What other dirt will be dished on the stage? Who will be portraying who and will this story really end up being ten chapters long? Watch de ride mah yute!