I am mortified that I actually wrote this chapter.

The Shinobi's Guide to Drama
By Kaori

It had been two days since the eleven young shinobi went out in search of juicy gossip, props, and materials and they'd gotten everything they could conceivably need for the play save for one thing…

"Why is it so hard to find a curtain!" growled Ino.

"Without stealing one you mean." TenTen pointed out, remembering Naruto and Kiba filching one from the old Uchiha quarter. Unfortunately they couldn't use that again as Sasuke had ripped it to shreds when he was escaping his overzealous fangirls during the end of the voodoo debacle.

"So you're suggesting we steal one?"

"We couldn't do that!" gasped Hinata. Making fun of people is one thing, jacking their stuff is another.

"Why not? We're ninjas, part of the job description is stealing things."

"You're not going to steal a curtain." Murmured Neji. "Just ask Iruka-sensei for the one in the Academy meeting hall."

"Why can't we steal it?" Sasuke asked, if only to be contrary. "It would be good training for us."

"Sasuke, do you have any idea what Iruka will do to us if you get caught?"

"Sasuke-kun would never get caught!" railed Ino and Sakura. Neji rolled his eyes as the two girls ranted about Sasuke's inherent genius and that he was just jealous because he was inferior to the Uchiha. This got Neji angry and he started arguing back which goes to show that he's much stupider than everyone says he thinks he is because he doesn't know better than to argue with women. (I'll give you a moment to figure out what I just said. You can yell at me once you have.)

"Point for me." Thought Sasuke; then he blinked and whapped himself on the forehead. "Argh! I'm channelling Kakashi! Nooo!" Neji and the girls gave him an odd look.

While this was going on Naruto, Kiba and Akamaru took it upon themselves to go steal the curtain from Iruka. Shino went along if only to make sure they didn't get caught (yeah right, we all know he's a closet prankster! Shino :I admit nothing:).

Twenty minutes later, Kiba, Akamaru, Naruto, and Shino were bounding over the rooftops carrying a large, green curtain. Hot on their heels was everybody's favourite teacher.

"Get back here!" yelled Iruka.

"Konbii Kage Bunshin no Jutsu!" yelled Naruto. Fifteen clones of the boys and their baggage appeared and then scattered in different directions. Realizing the futility of chasing them now, Iruka screamed, "At least return it in one piece!" Of course, we all know that's not going to happen but it's kinder to let him dream.

Setting up the stage was a lot harder this time around than when Kiba and Naruto did it themselves; mostly because a rush job like that would not do for such a prestigious event as the Daimyo's birthday celebration. Naruto, Kiba, Sasuke, and Neji were given the task of building the stage. Sakura, Ino, TenTen, and Hinata were responsible for putting up the curtain later so they went out to get refreshments for everyone while Shino and Chouji were told to buy more paint. Apparently there wasn't nearly enough to paint the whole stage.

Elsewhere, Ibiki was just wrapping up his torture session. Making them watch the movie was mean; making them watching it a second time was cruel; making them watch the movie ten times was just sadistic. After all, overexposure to Barney can lead to insanity… or acting even more manic than Gai.

"Friends!" roared Asuma, as they left the interrogation room. "We must spread the message of caring and sharing throughout the world!"

"Yes!" agreed Kurenai, clasping her hands together and sparkling like a magical girl (I'll wait for you to get that mental picture out of your heads). "The world is just too full of wonderful things for people not to be made to enjoy it! The beauty of the world must be made known and all must learn to share in it! "

"This is going to be super-duper fun!" grinned Kakashi. And the three of them skipped off to wreak touchy-feely, saccharine havoc on the village. Ibiki watched the Barney-fied jounins leave.

"Perhaps I overdid it a bit…"

Don't you just love how you get not one, but two kinds of demented evil in my stories? How long do you think it will take the jounins to return to normal? How will this effect the play preparations? Will Tsunade regret her actions or use it as an excuse to punish Kakashi, Kurenai, and Asuma some more? This and more questions next time!