The Pixie Show
Disclaimer: I do not own Teen Titans, Pokemon, Spongebob Squarepants, Fairly Odd Parents or Xiaolin Showdown. If I did I would be really rich and wouldn't be writing fanfics. I only own myself (Pixie), the audience, Sound Guy, Fat Man and Nick, the announcer, or commentator, or what ever that bodiless, echoic voice is on shows! Whatever! Just read the Goddamn FanFic…PLEASE!
Nick: Ladies and Gentlemen, Welcome to The Pixie Show!
(Applause as Pixie Pramolina Enters and sits on a large, purple, semi-circular sofa in the studio)
Pixie: Thank You! Thank You! Welcome to the show! Today is a very sad day. As one of our guests, Pikachu from the show, Pokemon, is ill with that bug that was going round. Everyone say Awwww!
Audience: Awwww!
Pixie: Ok enough about that let's get on with the show! Our first guests have come all the way from Jump City. It's Robin and Starfire from the Teen Titans!
(Applause as Robin and Starfire enter, hand in hand, waving, entering through the same door in which Pixie entered)
Pixie: Welcome to the show!
(Pixie shakes Robins hand and receives a suffocating hug from Starfire. Starfire and Robin sit on the sofa opposite Pixie.)
Pixie: (Catching her breath) Ok Welcome again, Robin and Starfire, to the Show.
Starfire: It is a pleasure to be here!
Robin: Ditto
Pixie: Ok, Some people out there might not know who you are, so please tell everyone out there who you are and what you do.
Robin: I'm Robin, and this is my team-mate, Starfire. We, and a few others, are the Teen Titans. We fight crime, eat pizza, and do what normal teenagers do. On top of that, we live in a giant "T" in the middle of the sea in Jump City.
Pixie: Thank you for that Explanation, Robin. The next question is, Are there any special relationships going on? (grins)
Robin: Well, erm…you see me and…
Starfire: (interrupting) Robin and I are doing the going out!
Robin: (blushing) Well, Yes we are... We're quite sure that Raven and Beast Boy are going out too and we also think Cyborg is having a relationship, as you put it, with somebody outside the T Tower.
Audience: Ooooooh!
Pixie: Pipe Down you lot! Now do tell, Robin. Whom do you think this mysterious girl, or guy, might be?
Robin: Cyborg isn't Gay
Pixie: How do you know?
Robin: I wouldn't expect it from him, he's liked numerous girls in the past, I'm pretty sure this one isn't a guy. However, we don't know who this person might be.
Pixie: Now another question, sent in by a viewer, asks what would you do if somebody sent you a pair of their undercrackers?
Starfire: Oh I really enjoy the pulling of crackers at the time of Christmas.
Robin: No, Star, she means underwear.
Starfire: That is most disgusting
Pixie: Don't dance around the question bird boy!
Robin: I'd bin them.
Pixie: (disappointed about his answers lack of creativity) Oh. Well our next guests come from deep down in the sea, in the Town of Bikini Bottom. Here we have Spongebob and Sandy from the show Spongebob Squarepants!
(Spongebob and Sandy enter. Spongebob is in his normal attire with a bowl of water over his head and Sandy is in a pink dress. Cheering from the audience with a loud boo from a man in the audience wearing a hat with the American flag on)
Pixie: Welcome to the show!
(Pixie shakes their hands. Sandy and Spongebob sit down next to Starfire and Robin, nearer to Pixie.)
Sandy: Howdy Y'all!
Pixie: Yes, well, Good Evening to you too. So you are Spongebob Squarepants and Sandy Cheeks, and you live in Bikini Bottom. Now the first question goes to you Sandy…
Spongebob: How come I don't get a question? (whimpers)
Robin: Stop winging, Sponge!
Spongebob: Awwww (sulks)
Pixie: Sandy, some people don't watch the show. You're a squirrel so how do you live under the sea?
Sandy: Well, I live in a bubble I like to call the Treedome. It's my own patch of air! I have birds, grass, and my own tree!
Pixie: Would you stop bragging already!
Sandy: But…
Pixie: (interrupting) Spongebob, is there a lucky lady in your life?
Spongebob: Erm… No. I'M SO HOPELESS! (becomes upset and runs crying out of the studio)
Sandy: Spongebob, come back! (stands up ready to give chase)
Pixie: Sorry Sandy, the security will take it from here, I'd appreciate it if you stayed here. Thanks! (fake smile) Now this would've been the time where Pikachu and Bulbasaur would've come in but we have just heard that Bulbasaur and Pikachu's replacement, Totodile, on the way here were in a bus crash and they have both, unfortunately been rushed to intensive care. Pity, eh. Our next guests have flown all the way from The Xiaolin Temple in China. Our next guests are Kimiko, Omi and their pet gecko, Dojo from Xiaolin Showdown!
(Omi, Kimiko and Dojo enter. Applause. )
Dojo: I am not a gecko! I'm a dragon! I breathe fire!
(Dojo tries to breathe fire but ends up coughing a lot of soot up) Kimiko grabs his tail and they all walk towards Pixie. Pixie offers her hand to Omi(
Omi: What am I supposed to do?
Pixie: Shake it!
)Omi picks up Pixie's wrist and shakes her hand about. He has to literally jump onto the sofa and pull himself up. Kimiko shakes Pixie's hand in the regular fashion and Dojo folds his arms and squirms to his seat in a huff(
Pixie: Welcome to the show. Please tell us what your show is about and what you do.
Kimiko: Well, we are Xiaolin Monks and we fight evil and retrieve Shen Gong Wu, which are magical artefacts that the great Grand Master Dashi and Dojo, our dragon, hid 1500 years ago.
Pixie: So, Dojo, you're that old?
Dojo: 1645 years old may be old to you but I'm still in my prime
Kimiko: If that's your strongest then…
Dojo: If you say anything you're making your own way home tonight, sister!
(Kimiko smirks when Dojo turns round)
Omi: And I am the best in the Temple! Except of course, Master Fung, our Master.
Pixie: So you're the best at being a Xiaolin warrior, but are you the best at playing the piano…
Omi: Of cour…
Pixie (interrupting again) With your feet?
Omi: I, err… No. I am not. (annoyed) What windowsill plays the piano with their feet?
Kimiko: I think you mean imbecile.
Omi: That's what I said, windowsill.
Pixie: (angry) I play the piano with my feet, (shouts) and I'm PRETTY GOOD AT IT!
(A crew member comes on stage)
Crew Member: (whispers) Please don't get angry, Miss Pramolina, we're live!
(the crew member leaves)
Pixie: Ok, enough of that, let's forget about Omi being the best…
Sandy: I bet you're not the best at Karate!
Omi: Well I'm better than you, as you are a squirrel!
(Omi pauses to think then looks at Sandy)
Omi: A Squirrel? (pauses) A SQUIRREL!
(Sandy gets angry and Omi runs around the sofa. Screaming "Squirrel" a lot. Sandy Chases)
Sandy: (angry) Come back here you no good varmint! Come back and fight me!
Pixie: Calm down, please!
(Pixie Sighs and looks at Kimiko who is staring wide eyed at Robin and Starfire who have turned this into a make out session. Pixie starts to loose her cool again but as she was about to shout she was interrupted)
Dojo: STOP!
(Everybody freezes and Robin and Starfire stop to look at Dojo who is twitching and shaking)
Dojo: A new Shen Gong Wu has just activated. AND IT'S IN THIS ROOM!
(Omi, Kimiko and Dojo panic but the others just look confused. Jack Spicer and Wuya drive past the door in the Tunnel Armadillo. They enter the studio, looking for the Shen Gong Wu. The Audience boo and throw assorted rotten fruit and vegetables that they just happen to have with them. Jack wipes some of it off of his face and a large pair of pink frilly underwear lands on his head. He throws it across the room and it hits Starfire)
Starfire: (joyfully holds them up) Undercrackers! What Joy!
Robin: Starfire! Throw them away!
(Robin snatches the undercrackers and throws them into the audience)
Random Voice: SCRAMBLES!
(a large chunk of the audience dives for the pants. After a few seconds everyone sits back in their seats except for a really fat man who is stood up, wearing the pants over his trousers)
Fat Man: And they're my size!
(Fat Man Sits down, accidentally sitting on and crushing a Plusle and a Minun who were there to see Pikachu, who was ill and didn't turn up so they were sad enough as it is, let alone being pancaked by the Fat Man in Pink Frilly knickers!)
Jack: Would you stop playing pass the underwear! I need to find the Bubble of Gao before the rest of the Xiaolin Losers get here!
Dojo: (handily has the scroll with him and reads it with reading glasses on) The Bubble of Gao allows the user to levitate and fly. Even though it's a bubble, it's strong. Actually it's really really strong. In fact it's really really really really…
Kimiko, Jack, Omi and Wuya: WE GET IT! ENOUGH ALREADY!
(Everyone else still looks confused)
Pixie: (points towards the studio ceiling at a silver bubble floating around the ceiling beams) Look! There it is!
Jack: Jackbots Attack! (nothing happens) Jackbots! (nothing. Jack looks round and sees the Jackbots cuddling an Igglybuff, a Cleffa, an Azurill and a Hoppip. Jack looks away again and sighs)
Wuya: I told you those tin cans were USELESS!
Jack: They're just very sensitive, I mean look at them, those Pokemon are adorable!
(Jack and Wuya look back to see Sandy ripping the Jackbots apart and the baby Pokemon by her side, cheering for her. Sandy finished destroying them and brushed off her hands)
Sandy: Thanks for the support little guys! Ain't you the cutest!
Jack: That squirrel just wrecked my Tin Cans, I mean, Jackbots!
(Jack flies towards the Bubble of Gao)
Kimiko: Not so fast, Jack!
Pixie: Oh, so original, Kim!
Kimiko: Judaleke Flip, FIRE!
(The audience and the other guests watch in amazement as Kimiko, the blazing ball of fire, zooms off towards the Bubble and grabs it. To her surprise, Jack has it too and the Bubble glows)
Jack: Xiaolin Showdown on TV, SWEET! Kimiko, I challenge you to a Xiaolin Showdown!
Starfire: What is a Xiaolin Showdown? (everyone ignores her, Robin sighs)
Kimiko: But I don't have anything to wager!
Omi: )puts his hand in his sleeve( Luckily the most accomplished Xiaolin Dragon always brings a Wu with him. (Pulls out Mantis Flip Coin) MANTIS FLIP COIN!
(Omi twirls upwards towards Kimiko and then gives her the Wu. Omi stands in mid air. Kimiko pokes him on the shoulder and points Down. Omi falls, screaming)
Omi: I AM IN NEED OF ASSISTANCE!
(Starfire catches Omi at the bottom)
Starfire: You are very brave, and very cute! (Starfire hugs him)
Omi: YAY! Girl hugs! More Please (Grinning)
Starfire: Of course you can have more!
(Robin scowls and Kimiko sighs)
Jack: Ok, I wager my Ring of Nine Dragons for your Mantis Flip Coin. What's the Showdown?
Kimiko: First to fall off the ceiling beams loses.
Jack: Ha! I have the ring of nine dragons! You'll have to knock down all NINE of me! MWAHAHAHAHA!
(Kimiko grins sneakily)
Kimiko: Let's go, Xiaolin Showdown!
(The Roof of the studio flies up along with the ceiling beams. The Audience stays put whilst a large chunk of the show's set flies up to ceiling beam level, this has all the remaining guests on it. You can see the sky and it is night.)
Pixie: MY STUDIO! YOU WRECKED MY STUDIO!
Kimiko and Jack: Gong Yi Tan Pai!
Jack: Ring Of Nine Dragons!
(Jack splits himself up into nine various Jacks. The fat Jack overbalances, falls off the beam and splats onto some more Pokemon who were coming back from the snack bar. Fat Jack looks up and starts eating their popcorn.)
Smart Jack: I forgot about that me.
(Kimiko smiles at the Jacks)
Kimiko: I have this one in the bag!
Rude Jack: Oh B(BEEP)ks!
(Pixie gives a thumbs up to the sound guy who still has his finger on the ready above the red button with BEEP printed on it.)
Rude Jack: S(BEEP)w your F(BEEP)ng censorship! (Rude Jack Flips off Sound guy)
Kimiko: Mantis Flip Coin!
(Kimiko gets a boost from the ceiling bar.)
Kimiko: Judaleke Flip, FIRE!
(Kimiko turns into a fireball and burns part of the Jacks' ceiling beam, it cracks at the other end and each Jack in turn slides off. Kimiko lands on another beam)
Sick Jack: I'm Dying! (slides off)
Old Jack: This reminds me of the time when… (falls and squashes the sick Jack)
Rude Jack: Fu(BEEP)k You! (falls and squishes the Old Jack)
Sound Guy: I almost missed that one!
Old Jack: Get off me!
Rude Jack: Make Me, old guy! (Rude Jack and Old Jack Fight)
Smart Jack: )reading a book, the pages flap( Do you mind! I'm trying to read! )lands book first into the fight between the Other Jacks. His book is torn into pieces)
Smart Jack: MY BOOK! I really dislike me! (joins in with the fight. Sick Jack is still underneath them looking pathetic)
Donkey Jack: Hee Haw! Hee Haw! (falls onto an audience member's lap to the left of the fight. The Audience member runs away screaming and Donkey Jack eats the popcorn.(
Curious Jack: What's that? (falls) Why is it so Breezy? (falls in the aisle, between the fight and Donkey Jack)
Curious Jack: Who are you? What are you?
Sensitive Jack: Ouch! I have a splinter! You're so mean! (falls in front of the fight) Why can't we all just get along, fighting is so hurtful! (cries hysterically)
Childish Jack: Wheeeee! A slide! (slides off the beam and onto Donkey Jack. Donkey Jack panics and gallops about the aisle.) Horsey! HORSEY! WHEEEE!
(Fat Jack appears out of nowhere and comes down the aisle towards the chaos. He trips over and squashes all the Jacks. The Ring of Nine Dragons Glows and by the time the Jacks gets to the bottom he's regular old Jack again. The scenery shifts back into its original places and Kimiko is left holding all the Shen Gong Wu.)
Omi: (from Starfire's arms) Kimiko! You did it! And I'm getting lots of girl hugs!
(Robin frowns and, still looking in the same direction, picks up Omi by the head and throws him away, this time landing on Pixie. Pixie starts to get angry…again!)
Omi: (looking scared) Hug me… Please!
(Pixie ignores him and calms down)
Pixie: Is all the fuss over now?
All: (at varying moments) Yes
Pixie: So if everyone would sit down we would like to welcome back Spongebob!
(Spongebob comes in looking a lot happier. He sits next to Sandy on the Sofa)
Pixie: Welcome Back Spongebob! I would also like to welcome Timmy, Cosmo and Wanda from Fairly Odd Parents!
(Cheering as Timmy, Cosmo and Wanda enter. They all sit down on the sofa, next to the Xiaolin Monks, nearest to Pixie)
Cosmo: (waving) Hi Mom! I'm on TV…again!
Spongebob: We're on TV?
Wanda: Behave Cosmo!
Pixie: Welcome to the show everyone. Now some people, the weird ones, don't watch your show, so Wanda, Cosmo, who are you?
Timmy: These are my imaginary friends!
Wanda: )whispers to Timmy( Nice cover up, but wrong show!
Pixie: Yeah Timmy, wrong show, who are they really?
Cosmo: We're not Imaginary Friends! We're Timmy's…
Wanda: Cosmo, NO!
Cosmo: Fairy God Parents!
Audience: (simultaneously) TIMMY TURNER HAS FAIRY GOD PARENTS?
(A large purple vortex appears in the floor and Jorgen Von Strangle rises out of it)
Jorgen: Who told everyone they had Fairy God Parents?
Pixie: (Trying to make Jorgen Forget) Welcome to the Show, Mr. Jorgen Von Strangle!
Jorgen: What is this?
Pixie: Why, this is The Pixie Show! I'm Pixie, this is my Audience and you're live on TV.
Jorgen: Huh? (looks at camera) Good Evening Everyone, look at my huge, bulging muscles! (flexes muscles)
Pixie: (whispers) RUUUN!
(Timmy runs out of the studio. Wanda starts to fly after him but Cosmo is looking at Jorgen, almost hypnotized)
Cosmo: (Rocking backwards and forwards) Bulging….Muscles……
(Wanda grabs Cosmo by the collar and flies towards the door)
Cosmo: Wheeeee! Bye Jorgen!
Jorgen: (stops flexing muscles) What? They are ESCAPING!
(Jorgen turns his jet pack on and flies through the stage door, he gets his torso and his beefy arms stuck in the opening and after a quick struggle he poofs himself away.)
Pixie: Well that's all we have time for! Tune in next week for The Pixie Show! Next time I hope there won't be that much drama, but then again, this is show business! See Ya! Bye!
(Pixie waves to the camera and it zooms out as the "There's no business like show business" instrumental plays. The audience applaud and they slowly start to get up and leave. The Show Ends)
Afterthoughts: Well I hope you liked it! I really enjoyed writing this so I don't care about Flames. I will use the reversing mirror on flames so I BURN YOU (which I once spelled while playing scrabble)
Reviews are not necessary but really welcome. If people like this enough I will post MORE stories…yes more, how fun! Byeee!