Chapter Two
Oh, Crap...!
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((Author's Note: Haha! I had left you all with some sort of Wanna-be Cliffy! Muaha! Well, this chapter will make pretty-much everything make sence in a way of speaking. You'll have to read and find out for yourself. Well, R and R with some creative critisism (NOT FLAMES) and tell me what you think. Or if I made something in the fic Naruto-incorrect, tell me and I'll check into it, then fix it so I'm not Naruto-illiterate. Ha! Well, anyways, enjoy!))
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When I looked down, my slit eyes opened large. My happy, joyous expression dropped.
I was still in my Sexy Jutsu mode, breasts and all.
"W-what?" I looked up to Kakashi-sensei in horror. Now he was the one who was laughing. Sasuke did, too. Ah, but my gorgeous, sensitive and compassionate Sakura was udderly confused. She felt for me! But then again, what the hell was I doing thinking about my Sensei and my fellow Ninja-cell?; I was still a chick! Why was I still in my Sexy Jutsu mode!
Well, at least, I had my regular outfit back. That was a plus. And that uncomfortable makeup also made it's leave, somehow; But I guess it doesn't really matter. After all... I'm still a chick!
"What's going on!" I yelled. Gawd! Someone around here better answer me! But all of them (Except for my Sakura) continued laughing. It was driving me up a flippin' tree. Man, Sasuke; Because of this, I swear, I feel like sticking your Konoha hitai-ate up your ass! Then I'd kick it!
"This isn't funny, Naruto! You're just being plain perverted! Just quit your sick Sexy Jutsu and let's start our lesson!" Sakura growled at me, guessing that I was kidding. Knowing me, I could see why she thought I was kidding, but then again, a little trust would be good here, people!
"Sakura, I thought at least you would believe me! --"
Sakura then mumbled, thinking I couldn't hear her; "Pfft, yeah, right."
"--But I'm stuck! I swear!"
"How could you get stuck in a Jutsu, Naruto? That doesn't add up!"
"Not everything adds up, Sakura!" I cried. "Take 'substraction', for example! You aren't adding, you're 'substracting'! Believe it!"
The room went to a pathetic silence.
Sasuke looked like he was going to die from laughter (Good riddance), while Kakashi-sensei put his hand to his head. Then he shook his head. (It was like a Kakashi-sensei Dance!) Sakura was unimpressed; Either by the fact of my horrid pronounciation, or from the problem at hand.
"What do I do now, Kakashi-sensei!" I asked, hoping for an answer that would do some good.
Instead, this is the B.S. I got; "You sit down, then we start today's lesson."
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After the lesson, a distressed-me, a gorgeous Sakura and a stupid, dumb Sasuke left the Academy together.
Still, I was a chick. Hmm. But then again, that wasn't all that bad. I was now the only one in the Academy who was a guy with boobs; Ha! Take that, Konohamaru! He'll be so jealous... Hm... Yet so confused... (Konohamaru's brain can't possibly fit in all this complicated crap; It'll probably explode... Ah... But that would be just too good of a day!)
Hey... That's when a dumb idea hit my head! Sakura couldn't hit me a or call me a 'pervert' now, because, well, I was one of her kind! And what did that mean? Well, what did girls do together? Hmm...
"Oh, Sakura! I was just wondering," I slung my arm around her shoulders. Immediatly, Sakura stopped, looking shocked and pissed in one expression. I was worried, yet, hoping that my thought of invincibility from her would stand guard. "Wanna have a sleep-over party, or go ..." I paused. What else did girls do together? I turned my head to look around. Instantly, I saw a delightful sight. "...Go change in the change room, sometime? Girls like that kind of stuff, right? And I'm a girl now, and so are you, so we can be friends!" I gave a cute grin. But Sakura didn't return it. She still looked pissed off, more than anything. Now, I was scared; No, not scared. About to crap my freakin' pants! "Oh. And now that I'm a girl now, you can't hit me. I'm invincible from other girls. Believe it."
Sasuke covered his mouth, about to splurge out in laughter again. Right now, I was ready to punch his damn head in and kick the smile off his face... Hm... And I would legally be allowed to! I'm a chick now, eh? Believe it!
"First of all, Naruto," Sakura jerked away from me. "Girls don't have hobbies that include anything perverted like going into change rooms and doing stupid things like that. Sleep-overs, maybe, but that's only with real girls. Not Jutsus. And second of all, never in hell would I be your friend! You're sick and obnoxious. --No offence, though. And thirdly, if you were invincible, then I wouldn't be able to do this!"
POW!
"Oww! Dammit, Sakura! Why'd you have to go and do that!" I growled through clenched teeth as I rubbed a big 'ol bump on the top of my head; Courtesy of Sakura. Grr! She's one strong tomboy; Believe it!
"Because you're a pervert," Sakura scoffed, now all beside Sakura, way ahead of me. Heck, Sakura, what do you see in that ass! "And just to make it clear, Naruto, we'll probably never be more than classmates."
DAMN! Stupid Sakura! She crushed all my hopes and dreams in one frickin' smash of ... one... two... eleven... No, seven words after the comma! Well, seven words including one 'appostrophized' word.
Anyways, after that, I went home, had some ramen, went to bed. Like usual. ...Sigh. Believe it.
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Soon enough, a week went by and I was still a chick. Ah, but I was getting used to it.
Er... Well, to be perfectly honest, there's one thing I keep forgetting about being a girl; Going to the bathroom sitting down. Damn! I can't even count how many times I forgot that, and... Erm... I'm actually too embarrassed to even say what was the result of that, okay! Believe it, you don't want to know!
Stupid Sasuke and Kakashi-sensei finally stopped making fun of me. Sakura started being more friendly towards me, and so did other girls; Including that Hyuga Hinata chick... Man, is she one shy girl! I go up to her and be all like, 'Hi Hinata!' and she'd be all like, 'eeeeee!' ... Oh, boy, I'm actually starting to talk like a chick now! Grr... Believe it!
"Hi Naruto," A small group of girls giggled as I walked singularily down the halls of the Academy. Hm. I wasn't exactly sure if they were being sarcastic or friendly, but I waved back. They giggled more. Ah, I guess they were being sarcastic. So I guess that's not a good piece of proof to show how people were being friendly towards me. But anyways, I went to the room Kakashi-sensei reserved for Sakura, Sasuke and I, and I learned some crap... Wait... Maybe I should put quotations around "learned"... Ah! Here we go.
"I'm feeling bored," I folded my arms behind my head as the three of us walked home. Sasuke smirked. Sakura giggled, covering her mouth.
"If you're feeling bored, I have another dare for you," Sasuke grinned evilly, though I didn't yet know his pervy little plan. He gave a look to Sakura; It would seem that she knew what Sasuke was talking about. "Unless you're chicken, Chicken."
"No! No, I'm not chicken! I'll do it! Yeah!" I exclaimed, my arms stretching up into the air. I almost giggled; I had to stop myself! I was a young man! ...Or, unless, I used to be. "What is it, Sasuke? Tell me! You know I'll do it!"
"Well, look over there, and you'll see the dare for what it is," Stupid Sasuke, not wanting to give a damn clue, motioned over to the left. I turned my head. My face turned red at what I saw.
Damn! What a pervert! And Sakura scolds me! Sasuke's the one who has to get his lecherous head checked, as what he pointed at was the Girl's Locker Room! And what was in it... Well, it was obvious. A bunch'a girls my age, since you could hear the shower water on the floor... The girls giggling... Hmm... Maybe it wasn't all that bad of an idea. Brilliant Sasuke! Or... Wait... What the hell am I saying!
"Uhh... Oo... Erg... Sasuke...! You damn pervert! You see, Sakura! Sasuke's nasty! Gah! Believe it! Or... You have to now, because I proved it! Yeah!" I exclaimed, from being sidetracked from the mere building, then turning my attention towards Sakura, to try and convince her about Dirty-Boy Sasuke.
"Naruto, Sasuke's no pervert! You're a girl now, so it really doesn't matter," Sakura stuck up for Sasuke in her knowledgeable manner. Damn. She had got me there! She's sooooo smart! Hee! But then again, damn Sasuke for getting away with it!
"Ah... You're right..." I said slowly as I took a step towards the Girl's Locker Room. Sakura and Sasuke followed. "Wait outside for me, though, okay?"
"We were going to."
"Oh... Good."
So I headed to outside the Girl's Locker Room. I remembered memories from many months ago, when I used to sneak in there, then later get the life smacked out of me; And damn, were those chicks bi-- strong. Yes. Strong... Heh...
Steam still coated the inside and rolled clumsily out of the doors that led inside. The floor was still wet to my now-bare feet. Giggles still echoed throughout. I looked one more time at the sign at the front of the building, wondering what it would be like now that I was an actual girl heading on in there...
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"Hee hee, hey Naruto!" One girl would giggle, waving estatically to me, covered only by a single white towel. Her wet hair would be at least shoulders length, brown and shiney. If the towel wasn't there, it would cover all that would need to be above the waist. She would motion her hand towards the spot where the showers took place, just beyond the lockers. "Us girls are going to have a wet towel fight! Then a few of us want to compare! Wanna join us?"
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My face turned red. I blushed. Sakura shook her head, knowing why I was hesitating. Sasuke snickered, probably guessing and hoping that I would get the brains pulped out of me. Ha, like that would happen. Ur... Now that I think about it, maybe it would. No. It could. It was a mere possibility. One that would need me to try and test it out, and I had no problem with that at all! Haha!
I headed on in, then got changed into a white towel, putting my clothing into a free, open locker. Then I wandered throughout the Locker Room; No girls were in sight yet. But their voices were getting closer. I could hear the pinky-toe-deep water splashing about near by.
"Oooo! Who's there?" A cute voice asked. My heart skipped a beat.
"Naruto," I squeaked. They all squealed. Their voices were very, very familiar. I think they were about my age, maybe a year or two older. And plus, everyone in the whole Konohagakure knew that I was now stuck as a chick. I guess I was safe.
"Hmm. Oh! Naruto, yeah, I remember!" The voice giggled estatically. Others joined. "Well, Naruto, we're gonna' have a wet towel fight, and then..." Giggling was heard once more. My heart skipped another beat. Then two. "...Well, some of the girls want to compare! Hee! And since you're a girl now, do you want to joi--"
"Yeah! Uh... I mean... Sure." My voice cracked hoarsly even though I was no longer a male.
"Ooo. That's good. So, come on!"
"Y-yeah, coming!"
I scurried on towards the shower area. I nearly threw up at what I saw.
Yeah, sure, there were a bunch'a chicks in little white towels, but it would seem that the towels, as big as they are, were much too small for the gorilla-sized girls. Ugh... The one that I suspected that called me had brown, wet, straggly hair... Yeah... You guessed it; It would probably cover what needed to be above the waist. But, damn, was she one fat, ugly, unibrowed cow! Agh! Believe it!
"Uh...!" My pupils shrank. Just my luck, all the chicks were unibrowed gorillas; As mean as it sounds, you should have seen it. But then again, that idea wouldn't be recommended. That was when it hit me; DAMN THAT STUPID SASUKE! He knew all along! And Sakura was his partner in crime! Agh, dammit, they fooled me so bad! "I-I forgot something in... In the other room, and I have to--to go do... do stuff. Sorry! Maybe another time! Ha. Ha. Ha... Ughm..." I turned around, then ran the hell to my clothes. I got changed, then discarded the towel on the floor and bolted out of the Change Room. I fell sputtering on my knees before Sakura and Sasuke.
It would also seem that they were about do die from laughter.
Hrmfh! And because of this, I wouldn't care if either of them did! Even Sakura! Gorgeous Sakura... She betrayed me! Betrayed me, I tell you! Believe it, I would get those stupid bastards back! Beeeliiieeevvveee itttt!