Apparently Hatori wasn't allowed to die.
"Hatori, you're not allowed to die. That's an order." Someone was there…he sounded so far away. Everything sounded so….so far away…..his head was swimming. It was like…like he didn't even know. He tried to open his eyes but they were stuck shut, like the time he'd had pink eye when he was ten. It felt like his eyes were stuck shut with that same crusty, sticky, goo….he tried to touch them…..his hand felt heavy….he was….when had everything gotten so heavy?
And loud.
"I just told you not to die. Get up." Said the voice. He was getting closer and louder. Hatori's head was ringing…his brain was ringing….or maybe more like echoing. He felt like…like the time he'd called his Dad's phone with his phone and put them next to each other. He felt like…like echo phones…but he didn't want to be echo phones. He didn't want…he wanted to lay down. He didn't want to get up, not today….
"I don't wanna go-go to school today…." Said Hatori as he tried to roll over. Bed was….what had happened to bed? It was hard and it poked him…he wanted to go to bed. He needed to go back to bed. He had been up all night, again, but…well it was only school. There'd be more school tomorrow. Dad got it. Mom never got it, she was always telling him to take his future seriously….but Dad got it.
Dad got him.
"Nobody's making you." Said Dad. Hatori nodded…he felt like a bobblehead. He tried to sit up…someone was sitting him up. Someone warm…he leaned forward. He needed a hug. He tried to hug Dad but he wouldn't hug him back which was just…just he hadn't hugged Dad in so long. They hadn't hugged or spoken or…or anything in a really long time…it had been so long….
How long had it been?
Hatori didn't even know. He just…what day was it? What time was it? It was a school day and it was time to go to school. He was going to be late for….for what? He didn't…the last thing he remembered was staying up all night trying to beat…what had it been? It had been so important. He had stayed up all night trying to beat it, trying as hard as he could, without cheating since Mom and Dad hated that. Cheat one more time, Nozomu, and you'll be buying your own games. He did buy his own games…a lot of them….but he only got fifteen hundred yen a week….but he had more money than that. He made more than that a day….but he didn't get paid…
He got paid.
He made a lot of money and he…no, no, no. He had to go to school. You go to school and you get good grades and then you get a good job. Once you got the good job then you had all the money in the world for games…but also you never had time to play them. Not until you settled down and had a kid…but he didn't want kids…he didn't even know if he liked them that much…but Dad was always on him to have kids. To go and meet someone and have kids with them. Saying stuff like he'd missed his chance….but he hadn't even wanted to take a chance. He didn't like Shibata like that, he didn't like guys like that, and he didn't want to take his chances with Little Sister-sama either. She was ten and that was weird and….
And he didn't have any brothers or sisters.
"I don't have a sister…" said Hatori. He smelled…ketchup? Ketchup and fire. Fire was…not good….fire was bad. Fire was…he had no idea that fire could have gotten so hot. There had been so much and…and it hadn't smelled like ketchup. It had smelled like burning plastic. The fire had started in the store below their house, the guy had said. It had been an electrical fire…too many plugs in one outlet….but they had always done that. They had always stuck power strips to power strips, one after the other, in a long chain of power…and it had never happened before…
But it had happened.
The sky had been black. The whole block had smelled like burning plastic. Don't go in. Get away. Don't look. Someone had taken his glasses. He hadn't been allowed to look. He wasn't blind without them, though, just really nearsighted. He had seen…there had been so much smoke and so much….he had never seen so much….don't turn left. The fire engine went by. Don't turn left…but it did turn left….it turned left and beat Hatori home from school.
He should have stayed home from school that day.
"I don't want to go to school today!" shouted Hatori. He felt two hands digging into his shoulders. He was pulled back and his eyes…they still wouldn't open…and his head hurt. He reached up to wipe his eyes but just ended up punching himself in the face. How…how could…where was….he tried to lean forward….but he couldn't. He needed….he couldn't be alone right now! He needed to be with…he needed…he reached out. He found skin…a shirt…he pulled on it…and he was pulled away.
No!
"Don't go! Don't leave me!" said Hatori as he tried, again, to grab onto the shirt he'd just felt between his fingers…but he couldn't. There was red all around him. He was being held in place at all sides. This was…he needed…he leaned forwards again. Dad. He needed his Dad…he wanted his Dad….he had been gone for so long…and…and he just….
Dad!
"Dad!" said Hatori. There was a sigh and then…and then he was being held. He felt his shirt being torn but he didn't care. He didn't give a damn about his school uniform. He didn't even care if he burned to death in it…but he could go inside. Nobody let him. Nobody would let go even though that was his house and he had ever right to go in…even if it was on fire…
Fire was bad…fire had…but Dad was here and…and Hatori wasn't alone anymore.
"You have a concussion, so I'll allow this." said…not Dad. That was…he felt good. He didn't care who's voice that was. He knew it would keep him safe. That…this was ok. Hatori felt something cloth being dragged across his eyes…it went easier as he started crying. Less rough, less like his eyelids were about to be pulled off. He cried…he was going to be alright…everything was going to be alright….
"I love you." Cried Hatori. The cloth stopped right on top of his left eye. There was…a lot of red…and a sudden inhale from…not from Dad…yes from Dad…but Dad was dead…no! Dad was here and…and Hatori was here…and he wasn't allowed to die. He was alive and…and everything was going to be ok. He'd gone into the fire and now he was with Dad and….and the fire had stopped and…and he needed to find Mom! But Mom…he knew Mom was gone. She was gone forever. Nobody was there to tell him to turn his computer off and go to sleep. Nobody was there to iron his uniform and chase him through the house when he didn't want to wear it. Nobody was there to make sure that his Kirby plate was clean. Nobody was there to tell him to stop eating chips all the time, to go to the fridge and get a healthy snack. Nobody was there to buy him healthy snacks or…or any kind of snacks. Nobody was there to let him rest his head on her lap and rub his hair while they watched TV together. Nobody was there to read him his bedtime story…but he was too old for bedtime stories. He wasn't a kid anymore, was he? He was too old….he was too…
Mom was gone…and Dad was gone….but Dad was right here….
"I…care for you more than I do most people. I think of you as a child, as one of my children, but more…tolerable. I enjoy your company to that of my son and oldest daughter. I enjoy speaking with you on a variety of topics. I feel as though I can confide in you more than I have been able to any other human being I have ever known in my life. I care for you deeply…and you are forbidden from dying, Hatori." Said the voice…said Dad…said Dad and Not Dad…..it wasn't Dad. Dad…Dad would never have called him Hatori. He was Hatori-san. It would have been weird to call his own Dad Hatori-san and it would have been weird for Dad to called him Hatori-kun let alone just 'Hatori'…so this wasn't…but it was…but….but….
"Nozomu." Said Hatori
"What now?" asked Dad…and Not Dad…
"Why you…why you calling me Hatori for? I'm Nozomu…I'm Nozomu and where's my….my shirt with the bird on it….I gotta get dressed so…so we can go….we can't stay here." Said Hatori
"I agree, we cannot stay here…and I will address you as Nozomu if that is your preference…but don't call me Touichirou." Said…said Touichirou…he knew Touichirou. He knew…they were friends…he was such a weirdo….but they were friends and he thought…all kinds of weird stuff about him.
"I'm not trying to get with her because she's ten and that's weird so…so stop thinking that…" said Hatori. That was important. Touichirou had to know that. It was important, the most important thing that he had ever had to say to anyone ever in his life…and now he knew. The cloth was back over his eyes. He could open them….he could see…
He couldn't see.
Colors. Shapes. But now…when had his vision gotten this bad? When had…Mom and Dad had always told him to keep his glasses on all the time…but at school they said to take them off because they made his vision weaker…maybe they had been right. He could see…a lot of red…and blue…and red. It was like looking at a rocket pop and…and he knew that person. That was his friend…that was his best, weirdest friend…but…but then where was he?
And where were his glasses.
"I don't know who it is that you're referring to but, yes, I am fully aware of the fact that you are not attracted to-" said Touichirou
"Where's my glasses! I can't see without my glasses!" said Hatori. He tried to get up but he was held down. He reached out and scrambled for them….but then he touched something sharp. Where was…everything was sharp and grey and it smelled like he was in an oven and…and he hadn't gone into the house after all. He hadn't gone in after Mom and Dad…he had just let them burn. He had just stood there with everyone else and he'd let them burn…
Maybe he was in hell…or wherever people who didn't go to any kind of temple went.
"I am aware of that fact, now hold still. Your glasses are on the ground shattered in front of you-" said Touichirou
"I need them! I can't…I don't know where my spares are!" said Hatori
"You keep a spare pair of glasses in your backpack at all times. You backpack is back in the room and, assuming that it hasn't been bombed either, they are where you left them. Now stay where you are. You're injured and right now Tadashi…right now Fukuda is nowhere to be found." Said Touichirou…he sounded sad there…wait, he knew why! He knew this story…poor Touichirou. His boyfriend was missing and….and he was an asshole anyway.
"You….you shouldn't be so sad. He wasn't….he wasn't a good boyfriend anyway. I don't think that he loves you as much as you love him…you should stay with that milfy girl. She's kind of mean but she's got really, really, really nice…well, everything. Like, she's older but her breasts are huge and her ass is-" said Hatori
"You are concussed and that is the only reason I am letting you get away with saying…any of that. My romantic life is none of your business and the physical perfection that is Shiori is not for you to enjoy. Now try to stay conscious until Tadashi finds us or I find him…there are so many severed spirits around…well it serves them right." Said Touichirou. Hatori could see them…now that he knew what to look for he could see them. Severed spirits…spirits without bodies. He could see…so many of them…spirits hung around after they died…but not for this long and…and not so many and…and he wanted…he wanted….
"I want to go home!" said Hatori. He had never meant anything more in his life than he meant that. He needed…he needed to get out of here. He tried to stand again but Touichirou held him down.
"Out of the question, now stay still. I think I've found Tadashi." Said Touichirou as he pressed Hatori's face into his shirt. He heard something break and then a lot of groaning. He smelled….he smelled more smoke…he smelled more smoke but he didn't want to. He clung to Touichirou. He smelled like ketchup and eggs, smoke and green tea, aftershave and soap…he smelled good….he smelled like home.
Hatori was never letting go.
"Don't die, Tadashi. Come here and try not to die!" shouted Touichirou
"I'm not dead, I'm fine. I put myself back together." Said Tadashi…his voice was getting closer. Hatori felt a wave of nausea. He hated this guy. He hated…he hated two people….no, just one. There was someone who was always doing things to him, messing with him, but that wasn't as bad as…as Tadashi. He couldn't….something to do with Little Sister-sama…something to do with…he couldn't remember. He didn't want to remember. He just wanted to go home.
"Put him back together." Said Touichirou. He pulled Hatori off of his chest. Tadashi came into view…sort of. The shape of him, the colors of him, that green sweater he was always wearing.
"What about you? You're covered in blood." Said Tadashi
"This isn't my blood." Said Touichirou
"Are you sure? Because some of it-" said Tadashi
"I am perfectly capable of assessing my own physical condition just as I am perfectly capable of putting up a barrier. Stop being so concerned with my wellbeing and do something about him. He's concussed. He's been speaking nonsense and I think he may have even cracked his skull. Fix it unless you want a concussion to match his." Said Touichirou. It hurt to be near him. To feel him, the red of him, and to hear his voice. It was ringing in Hatori's head the same as everything else. There was blood…there was so much blood….and so much….but he didn't want to go away. He wanted to go back.
But he couldn't go back.
"Alright, alright. I'll fix him up. What about everyone else? I don't think I have enough left in me, especially after him, to do….anything." said Tadashi
"The rest of them can rot. Most of them are dead and the ones that aren't will be soon. An entire pack of…I don't even have the words for it. Let them rot." Said Touichirou
"But we need-" said Tadashi
"We can make another deal. Now stop it. This is not your concern, Hatori is. Now fix him or I swear to God that I will make it my business to see you suffer, regardless of our past." Said Touichirou
"Alright, alright, God…." Said Tadashi. There was…green, a lot of bright green…and then….and then Hatori felt fine. Perfectly fine. The ringing in his brain had stopped. The fog had lifted from his thoughts. He was…he was ok. Nothing hurt and he could think again. His vision was still pretty shitty but at least he could see…he could see and he could think….
He could see how much of an idiot he'd been…how much he'd said without thinking.
"Oh….fuck….oh fuck!" shouted Hatori
"My sentiments exactly. Well this has gone terribly wrong…no matter, we have other groups we can-" said Suzuki
"Fuck! I can't believe I said…I am so sorry! I didn't mean any of that shit I said about Shiori-" said Hatori
"Wait, what did he say about Shiori?" asked Fukuda
"He pointed out the fact that she has achieved physical perfection. I hold no ill will towards him. Do you hear me, Nozomu? I don't care…well I do…but you were concussed and I cannot hold your words or actions against you." Said Suzuki
"I…I'm still sorry…please don't kill me!" said Hatori
"Why would I do that? Tadashi…Fukuda just spent a great deal of his time and energy healing you. The last thing I would want to do is undo his work. Come on, Nozomu, think. You can do what again." said Suzuki. He nudged Hatori as he said that and…and right. Of course Suzuki didn't want him dead. Suzuki…he cared about Hatori…like one of his own kids. No wonder Hatori had thought that Suzuki had been Dad…and…and he couldn't believe that he had called Suzuki Dad and…and even worse, he had talked about Shiori!
She was really hot but, still, she didn't belong to him. She belonged to Suzuki….and he must have been so pissed!
"I mean…because I called your girlfriend…I said a lot of stuff about your girlfriend and you and I called you…." Said Hatori
"I really don't care. Now get up, everyone. We have work to do." Said Suzuki as he stood up. Fukuda followed. Hatori…he was stuck. He couldn't move. That whole thing had been…unexpected. That had been….he had never thought that….Suzuki didn't care?
"That means you too, Nozomu. Their plan backfired and now I imagine that their assets are ours for the taking. You handle the digital transfers and Tadashi….Fukuda, you send for the master forger. He have deeds to acquire…and send for his body guard as well." Said Suzuki. He reached down with his powers and pulled Hatori to his feet. It took him a moment to get steady….a moment that was shortened by Suzuki steadying him….Hatori could feel Fukuda's aura. He didn't know if he was being glared at out of jealousy or shock….Fukuda mouthed his name….maybe shock….
Or jealousy…or something else he didn't want to get in the middle of.
"Higashio and Ootsuki, got it." Said Fukuda, finding his voice. Suzuki nodded and started walking. Fukuda glared at Hatori as he walked past…he got the feeling that none of this was going to end well. He had not only gotten a concussion but now he was in the middle of their middle aged guy love triangle…thing…
"Come along, Nozomu, I won't say it again." said Suzuki with a wave of his hand.
"R-Right!" said Hatori. He got to running….or walking fast, which was running for him. Running wasn't a part of his job. Neither was being in the middle of bombings. He needed to get back to his own job…his own life…and out of whatever the hell he'd been in the middle of. Fukuda was still giving him looks…and Suzuki was giving Fukuda looks and Hatori…and Hatori didn't want any part of the middle aged people love triangle! This was worse than the concussion…than memory lane. He wanted…he wanted out…but he wasn't….
He wasn't allowed to die…no matter much he really wanted to.