Serizawa had no idea how to make pancakes.

But he had to. Miss Suzuki was going to wake up soon and when she did she was going to want breakfast. Normally she woke him up and made him breakfast and then they either hung out together or went for a walk. He loved their mornings together, he really did, but today was her birthday. She was always taking care of him now it was his turn to take care of her.

That was what friends did for each other.

Serizawa had never been a friend before. Growing up the other kids had either been scared of him or made fun of him. they had either been scared of his powers, the way he would explode, the way that destruction seemed to follow him everywhere... Or they had wanted to see him explode. They had wanted to push him to his breaking point. Kindergarten, first grade, second grade, all the grades... The same kids every year... No chance to make friends... Just him alone all the time...

Well not anymore.

Miss Suzuki was the best friend he ever had. She had never once been scared of him, ever, and she had never once made fun of him either. No, they had fun together. She liked videogames. He had never met a girl in his entire life that liked videogames…well he hadn't really known a lot of girls in his lifetime. Girls had always been kind of scary. He had gone to a boys only school for elementary so the only times he'd ever seen girls were when he went places with Mom. They had been….kind of scary….like when they laughed. Serizawa had always gotten the feeling that they had been laughing at him…

Everyone had laughed at him in those days.

They had laughed at him because of his stutter. They had laughed at him because of his hair, the way it grew upwards and felt like cotton candy. They had made fun of him because he hadn't had a Dad, they had even said that he didn't know who his Dad was. He did…sort of. He had seen pictures of him and Mom together…but he had left before Serizawa had been born. The other kids had said terrible things about mom, too, about how they thought she didn't know who Dad was and…and other mean stuff like that….people had been so mean to him back then…

But Miss Suzuki had never once been mean to him.

He owed her. He could at least make her breakfast. She had said that she didn't want a party so he wasn't going throw her one. He didn't like birthday parties either, he had never liked them. There had been times when Mom had tried to throw him one, when he'd been really little, but nobody had come. Not even his grandparents…they had never liked him. They hadn't liked him because of who his Dad was…which wasn't fair. They hadn't liked him or Mom…but they probably liked Mom again now that he was gone. They might have still been alive, he wasn't sure, but if they were he knew that Mom had made up with them and now they could be happy.

Mom was much better off without him.

Sometimes he felt like…like maybe everyone in the world might have been better off without him. He was dangerous. Even around other people like him he was dangerous. Miss Suzuki could keep him from exploding but she wasn't always around….and she shouldn't have had to be. He needed to do things for her, he needed to be a better friend to her, he didn't want her to waste her life taking care of him just like Mom had. He needed….he needed to take care of her.

He needed to make her breakfast…and he would! Just as soon as he figured it out.

"Water…sugar…flours…eggs…" muttered Serizawa as he flipped through his phone. This was…he had no idea that pancakes had this many ingredients. Shibata had always made it look easy. He made everything look easy….all of his friends did. They were all so….so together. They knew exactly who they were and who they wanted to be. Serizawa…he didn't know. He didn't know who he was besides someone that other people had to take care of….and he didn't know who he wanted to be aside from a good friend. To Miss Suzuki and all the others. He'd never had friends before or….or had the option of being something other than a burden onto others before…

It was dizzying.

He felt…he held onto the counter. He could see his aura, he could feel his powers, and nothing…nothing good ever came from this. No! He was not going to lose control. Not on today of all days. He wasn't going to ruin Miss Suzuki's birthday. She had enough to worry. Her Dad was dating a mean lady, her brother was always mad at her, Fukuda was being mean to her, and nobody would let her have a baby even though she really wanted one. She had problems to deal with, real problems, problems that went beyond not knowing how to make breakfast even though he had the recipe right in front of him!

Calm. Down.

He breathed in for four and then out for four just like Tsuchiya had shown him. She was really nice like that. It made sense, of course, since she was a mom and moms were the nicest people ever. Dads…Serizawa didn't know a lot about dads. He'd never had one and mom had never talked about hers that much. From what he'd seen, though, from President Suzuki Dads were…well they were kind of mean. They wanted what was best for their kids but they were kind of mean about it…less nice than moms. He couldn't see President Suzuki letting one of his kids end up like Serizawa. Mom…she had been so nice to take care of him for so long…to put her own life on hold for him…moms were the best.

Not that he was ever going to see his ever again…and that was ok. She was better off without him.

"First add the dry ingredients….I can do that…" said Serizawa as he read through the measurements. This was…ok. He needed to find the measuring cup or the food scale…he could do that. It was all somewhere in the kitchen…in one of the drawers…but what if he opened the wrong one? What if he opened the wrong one and it wasn't there and he closed the drawer but then it broke and there was a mess and then it would all have been his fault and then Miss Suzuki would have had to clean up after him and then-

-there was someone right next to him.

"What's the crisis and how can I make it worse?" asked Shimazaki. Serizawa jumped higher than he'd ever jumped before in his life. All the cabinets opened and shut. Something inside of the fridge broke. Shimazaki covered his ears and hissed….oh no! Serizawa had messed up and hurt his friend and now-now-now he was the worst friend ever and-

"I'm sorry!" said Serizawa. He really was. He hadn't meant to…to mess up…but he had!

"I was kidding! I'm not going to make it worse…well at least not now!" said Shimazaki. He was still covering his ears….because he heard auras! He heard what Serizawa saw and if he was this bright right now then he must have really been hurting him and-and-and-

And he was sorry!

"I'm sorry!" said Serizawa

"Yeah, you said that already. I know. I can hear you." Said Shimazaki

"I-I didn't mean to hurt you! I just got scared and then you were here and then you got hurt and then I got mad at myself and then it just got worse and worse and then-" said Serizawa

"I get it, I get it, I get it already!" said Shimazaki

"I….really am sorry….sorry…" said Serizawa

"I know. I guess that I'm sorry too or whatever for scaring you…so tell Mob." Said Shimazaki

"Tell Miss Suzuki…what do you want me to tell her?" asked Serizawa

"That I said that I was sorry for freaking you out. She likes that kind of shit and it's in my best interest to keep her liking me." Said Shimazaki

"But she does like you! I mean she's your girlfriend so she has to like you." Said Serizawa

"Mob doesn't have to feel any way about me. I used to think that it was a given, like you confess and then they confess and then you've got a partner or whatever…but now I can see how much fucking work it is. It's just….it's never ending, you know? It's like every single day you have to try something new…something to keep her…to keep her with you…" said Shimazaki. He got quiet towards the end. Serizawa didn't know what he was supposed to do. He seemed sad…maybe he needed a hug or something….but Serizawa didn't know if it was ok…

There were a lot of rules when you had a friend…friends were complicated….

"Are you…are you ok?" asked Serizawa

"I think so…I don't know. It's a big day, you know? I mean of course you know, you spend more time with her than I do. This is…I'm not used to this kind of pressure, you know? It's always been just…come on, Ryou, you can do this and I know I can but it's like…like what do I do? You know? I have no clue what to do…" said Shimazaki

"You…you'll figure it out! You're very brave and…and smart…and smartly brave! I mean bravely smart! I mean…I mean…." Said Serizawa

"It's not about being smart, it's about…it's like I know her and I don't…and I don't know Hongkong. I know Tokyo. If we'd been in Tokyo then I'd have known what to do. I know a great cat café place, it used to be a brothel, but I feel like Mob would like cats more than hookers. I mean what's she need hookers for? She's Mob. She's great…she would have liked cats and I know this place with milkshakes and ice cream…and there's this one alley with a bakery, a coffee place, a chocolatier's, and a diner. It smells like heaven….at least to me. I have no idea…no plan….you know what that's like?" asked Shimazaki. Of course Serizawa knew what it was like. It wasn't a good feeling at all. Shimazaki…he was so sad…it wasn't normal to see him sad and Serizawa….he was his friend and he had to do something.

Friends didn't just let friends feel like…like this.

"I….do you want a hug?" asked Serizawa. Shimazaki didn't say anything. He just pulled him in for a hug and…held him. Close. Serizawa wasn't nervous. He knew that Shimazaki wasn't going to hit him or hurt him…but he didn't know for sure that Shimazaki wasn't going to kiss him again. That had been…he had never thought about kissing another guy before and he didn't want to do it again…or maybe it was because he didn't like Shimazaki like that. He had never kissed anyone before, people just kissed him, but he didn't think that he could have killed someone without liking them.

That seemed like it would have been important.

Serizawa had liked girls before, and wanted to kiss them, but it had never happened. He had never liked a girl he knew. He liked girls he saw on TV and in games and stuff. He had never actually been in love…but if he was then he would have kissed her…if he hadn't been so scared. Girls were scary and this was scary and…..and guys could be scary too!

He really, REALLY, didn't want to kiss Shimazaki again!

But Shimazaki didn't kiss him again. He let go of him. Serizawa took a step back…right into the counter. He didn't want to be hugged again. He knew that friends hugged friends but also…also they kissed sometimes…and he knew that when someone kissed you then you had to kiss them back. It was only polite. That was how Miss Suzuki's relationship with Shimazaki had started…

He really didn't want to kiss, or be in a relationship, with Shimazaki…it was mean but that was how he felt…so maybe he was just a secretly mean person….he'd have to think about this some more later. Once he had space to think.

"Thanks, I needed that." Said Shimazaki. He patted Serizawa on the back and head. Serizawa…had no idea what he was supposed to do with this. So he did nothing.

"You're…you're welcome…um….anytime! I mean I…do you need another hug? Or to talk some more? Or to…or do you need any help?" asked Serizawa

"I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine. I just don't know….I just woke up. That's all. I'll be better in a minute…and anyway you need help. Even I can see that." Said Shimazaki

"I…was trying to make pancakes for Miss Suzuki." Said Serizawa. If he hadn't known better he would have sworn that Shimazaki had ben glaring at him.

"Mob said that she doesn't want a party. She was really clear about that…unless she told you different." Said Shimazaki

"She-she didn't! She said that she didn't want a party and I'm not going to throw her one, I just...she always makes me breakfast and I thought that maybe it would have been good if I made her breakfast for once. It just didn't seem fair that she was always taking care of me but I never take care of her….and she shouldn't have to take care of anyone on her birthday and…and I'm not going to make her thirteen pancakes! I don't even know how to make one….this was a really bad idea…" said Serizawa. Shimazaki stared at him…at least he got the feeling. Shimazaki was facing the counter but Serizawa knew that he didn't have to face people to look at them. It would have been easier if he could have seen him…if he could have read something other than his aura….Serizawa still wasn't that good at auras.

He wasn't that good at any of these friend things.

"You know….that's a good idea." Said Shimazaki

"It is?" asked Serizawa

"Yeah. Mob is always taking care of other people and nobody ever takes care of her. It's like…Mob has a lot on her plate. Maybe that's what she wants…I mean you'd know her better than I would." Said Shimazaki

"Um….I think that you'd know her better because…because she likes you! I mean she likes you, likes you. She just likes me. So there's a difference and…and…" said Serizawa

"Yeah! You're right, I do know her better. I don't know what's the matter with me…maybe because Toshi's gone. I mean Toshi can go wherever they want to go and they can do whatever they want to do. I'm not clingy and I'm not jealous…well I try not to be. It's hard, you know. It's like whenever you get something good the world trues to take it away from you or whatever. Life…it's kind of…like that. You know what I mean?" asked Shimazaki

"I-I don't know…." Said Serizawa. He really had no idea what Shimazaki was even saying or why he was telling him this. He didn't know why Shimazaki was even with him right now. Sometimes he got the feeling that Shimazaki didn't like him…but he must have, Shimazaki had kissed him after all and also he was telling him all of this personal stuff. This was just…this was how friends worked. They talked about things. They just….they helped each other out…

"But I think that she likes you a lot. I think that she…she's going to be happy with whatever you do with her on her birthday. You care about her a lot and when you care about someone then…then it always works out. I mean it just….it's hard to mess up when you care about someone….unless you're me…I mean I mess up a lot and…and…" said Serizawa

"Hey, no. No more of this fucking pity party shit. I'm fine and you're fine and Mob…well we're both on team Mob, here. We both want her to be happy, to have a happy birthday, so come on let's make Mob's birthday as happy and stress free as possible." Said Shimazaki

"S-Sure!" said Serizawa. Shimazaki turned to the counter and started feeling the labels. He nodded as he felt each of them until he got to the bowl. He picked it up, held it, and then put it down. Serizawa wasn't sure if he could ask what he was doing.

"Hey Serizawa, you know we have mix, right? You don't have to make them from scratch." Said Shimazaki. He laughed…Serizawa laughed too even though he didn't exactly know what was so funny about this.

"I-I just…that's how Shibata makes them and I found a recipe and it had all the same ingredients but then when I got here I realized that I don't know what I'm doing and then…and then I got scared and then you got here and-and-" said Serizawa

"Calm down, it's just pancakes. You're not diffusing a bomb. Now sit and watch. I happen to know how to make these from scratch…but don't tell anyone that I know how to cook." Said Shimazaki

"I…I won't!" said Serizawa. He didn't know how Shimazaki could cook at all…but he wasn't going to say anything. He was just going to sit there and watch, like Shimazaki had said. He wouldn't have been any help there. He didn't know how to cook and…and he could learn later. Not now. Not when it was such a big day. Miss Suzuki's birthday was today and she was the one who mattered here. Like Shimazaki had said, they were both on her team. They were both there to make her happy.

He may not have known how to cook but Shimazaki did…and that was all that mattered. Making Miss Suzuki's birthday a good one.