When Suzuki got sloppy Claw paid the price.

"Can you move?" asked Suzuki. Hatori was, once again, laying on the ground covered in his own blood. There had been another fight, an ambush this time, and normally he would have made short work of his assailants but today his mind had been elsewhere. Instead of being in the room where things were happening, where money and assets changed hands, his mind had instead been in his bedroom the previous night obsessively going over the various details of his encounter with Tadashi.

It had been counterproductive.

His mind should have been on the men around him, their auras, the fact that there must have been some kind of tell or signal that he had missed. Something that had told the others to attack in unison…and before he could fully get a barrier up. He was, of course, he'd had worse. Hatori on the other hand was not too well at all.

Not dying, though, so at least there was that.

"I can but it hurts like a mother-" said Hatori as he tried to sit up. He was dazed, clearly. Suzuki pushed him back down onto the ground. He needed to wait for Tadashi to put himself back together. Suzuki needed more bodyguards…but all of his bodyguards were guarding his children. Shibata was protecting his most precious asset, Mukai, and Shimazaki…well Sho and Shigeko needed no protection but he would have gladly been in a thousand ambushes if it meant not having to spend any more time around that man than was absolutely necessary.

He didn't need more bodyguards, actually, he needed to focus on the task at hand.

"Don't curse, just lay there and wait for Tadashi to heal. He has a lot of skin that needs replacing." Said Suzuki. He could heard Tadashi groaning. Good, he was at the point where his nerve endings were regenerating. He had better have had enough energy left over to heal Hatori. Then they could plan their next move. That deal had gone up in smoke. They had been promised some very promising assets but all promises had been broken and then only thing left behind was a pile of corpses and one very injured Hatori.

Payback would come for them.

He would plan it out, that would be his next move, and then…and then this was beginning to turn into an all out war. They had stronger assets than he ever could have imagined. That man especially, he forgot his name…something with a V. He'd been able to do…something that was very similar to what Suzuki could do….

Someone else could save up energy.

Not transfer it, though, Suzuki was still the only man in the world who could do that. There were plenty of people who could use their powers to make explosions and…and that must have been it. He was still the rightful ruler of the world. The only person in the entire world who had been bestowed with the power to give and take as he saw fit. That other man…had simply been a useful asset, that was all, someone who was as strong as those six espers Shigeko had collected over the years. Suzuki should have done more research, thought to send more people to do reconnaissance, thought to…regrets were useless. Regrets took up too much of his time and his mind. Right now he needed to focus on the task at hand.

Hatori needed him.

He had a cut on his head, his glasses were cracked, and Suzuki didn't like the looks of his left ankle one it. From now on he was keeping Hatori as close as possible during these meetings. It was suspicious, why he would be so protective of the man supposedly sitting there an taking the minutes of the meeting, but he didn't care. He couldn't lose Hatori.

Losing Hatori would have been like losing a son…a son who wasn't Sho.

He took off his suitcoat, what was left of it, and folded it up before he put it under Hatori's head. The makeshift pillow was going to have to do for now. When they got back to their base of operations then he could rest in his own bed…or Suzuki's. Yes, that would be better. He could better monitor Hatori's condition then. Especially if Tadashi wasn't feeling up to healing completely.

He had bore the brunt of it after all.

Fukuda had dove in front of Suzuki and taking most of the explosion. Suzuki had made short work of the lower leveled espers but the man who had started it all got away…and lived to fight another day. Suzuki should have been watching the most powerful man on the enemy's side, not Fukuda. Not the way the light hit him. Not the way he bit his lower lip when he was deep in thought. Not the way he played with the hem of his sweater when he got bored. Not he way his shoulder blades strained against his sweater…and Suzuki certainly shouldn't have been imagining scratching his hands up and down Tadashi's back like some wanton slave to his own joy…

Damn it, Tadashi.

"It's cold…so cold…." Said Hatori. Suzuki pressed his hand to Hatori's forehead. He felt normal. People's body temperatures did drop as they died…but Hatori was just being overly dramatic as usual. He was fine, everything was fine, and…and Tadashi sure was taking his time, wasn't he?

"You're body temperature is normal." Said Suzuki

"I see the light…" said Hatori

"No you don't." said Suzuki

"It's so bright." Said Hatori

"No it isn't." said Suzuki

"It's there….right up there….I can see heaven….I'm coming…" said Hatori

"You're looking at light fixture. If it bothers you then close your eyes." Said Suzuki

"But if I close them then I might never be able to open them again." said Hatori

"Nozomu, you're ridiculous." Said Suzuki. He shifted himself so that he was casting a shadow over Hatori. It was illogical, Suzuki was sure that he wasn't seeing the light at the end of the tunnel or whatever, but if it made him feel better and stop that whining then there was no harm in it. Suzuki couldn't stand the whining, the constant….that was what pained him. They were stress pains and not….not the pain of knowing that he had failed Nozomu. He had gotten sloppy, again, and now Nozomu was paying for his mistakes…

When he got sloppy then Claw got sloppy…and some of it's most important assets suffered the consequences.

"Touichirou….you're my best friend. You know that?" said Nozomu

"I'm aware of this fact, yes, and you are….you are mine." Said Suzuki. Tadashi was no longer his best friend. No, they had crossed too many lines for that. It wasn't though physicality was new to their relationship, Tadashi had been his first kiss after all…but there had always been excuses. Caveats. They had kissed for practice, shared a bed for practicality, Suzuki had only imagined a female version of himself being taken by Tadashi in order to reach orgasm more efficiently, and the like. There had always been so much between them….so many excuses….so many little outs…

There weren't any more outs left.

No outs, no excuses, no caveats. They were lovers. Suzuki had feelings or Tadashi, Tadashi had feelings for him, and if Suzuki had been living in a world where he had been committed to mindless self-indulgence he would have been in his bed right now, ankles in the air, being penetrated by Tadashi. But that was not the world he lived in. Tadashi was a very attractive man, an amazing lover, and the only person in this world who Suzuki felt truly understood him as a human being…but they were no longer best friends. They were no longer lovers, currently, either. They were….two men who mutually desired each other as well as worked together, lived together, and in some ways of looking at it raised children together. Tadashi had, after all, been devoted to his children. But he couldn't give Suzuki more children and Suzuki couldn't bear them…so whatever they both wanted to happen couldn't happen.

There was no way that he was asking Shiori.

There were two outcomes. She could have said no and then she would have known that he had been considering adultery or she could have said yes and then his feelings for Tadashi would have gotten even more tangled than they were now. He had no idea what this feeling was, so sudden and new, but also old and comforting. Like a heavy old blanket. Something that he had been carrying around with him possibly since the day they'd met…the day he'd realized that he wasn't an extraterrestrial at all. He was human. There were others like him. The world was so small….

His.

The world was small and it was his…he just had to earn it. He just had to get his head on straight. Even now, while Hatori was laying there on the ground whining about dying he could only think of Tadashi. His wellbeing, his body, his company, his presence. Tadashi, Tadashi, Tadashi….and endless loop in his mind. Like that song from the ice queen….that he had managed not to think about for several weeks now. Shigeko had, finally, given that film a rest…even though it was one of the greatest pieces of cinema to ever come out of the Disney Corporation. He hadn't seen that film with her in so long….but she was too old for that. She wasn't a child anymore and she didn't require further thought. Hatori, on the other hand, was trapped in a permanent state of adolescence. He couldn't be trusted to be on his own, he would never survive, and therefore this desire to care for him made perfect sense. The only way it would have made more sense was if Hatori had been his actual son…but the dates didn't add up and Suzuki hadn't been with so many women in his lifetime that he had forgotten some of them…but it would have made more sense if Hatori had been his son….

Nothing about his life had made any sense lately.

Not his children, not Tadashi, not Claw…everything had been backwards and upside down for a while now. Suzuki had to get himself in order. Once he got himself in order then, and only then, would the pieces come into place…but he had no idea how to do that. He had spent forty six years exorcising his emotions, avoiding these personal issues, but now he was a slave to them….controlled by them. His emotions were like his powers. Either he controlled them or they controlled him. He just…he needed to get a grip on himself.

But not by getting a grip on Tadashi.

"He's not dying." Said Tadashi. He had finally finished healing and had decided to grace Suzuki with his presence. That was a good word, grace, since Tadashi moved with so much of it. It was amazing how a man his size could just glide across a room like that….Suzuki looked away. He focus on Hatori. He was muttering something about seeing his mother and father again…more malingering. He wasn't worried anymore. He trusted Tadashi.

He trusted Tadashi more than he had ever trusted any other human being on the planet.

"I am! I can feel my soul slipping out of my body….it's so cold…." Said Hatori

"Souls don't slip out of bodies, they climb out of mouths and navels when they need to exit on their own." said Tadashi as he ran his aura over Hatori. Suzuki watched the gash on Hatori's head close up. He was fine. He was…he was going to be fine. He trusted Tadashi. Sure he could be a little strange, he still wasn't sure what that whole 'I slept with your wife' thing had been about, but nothing could diminish the trust that he had built with that man. Nothing could diminish the trust, or anything really, that they had built together…anything….

When something was wrong with them then something was wrong with Claw.

"They climb out of….what?" asked Hatori

"Haven't you ever seen someone die before? Or does Suzuki shield you from these things?" asked Tadashi

"Suzuki-" said Hatori

"Clearly, Tadashi, I shield him from nothing….and there is no need to bring it up." Said Suzuki. He kept his powers under control. His emotions…well Tadashi had slighted him first. Why? Why bring up his failure? Because he wouldn't go to bed with him? What was he supposed to do? Tadashi knew that Suzuki couldn't give in, not without jeopardizing their entire future. Claw's future was his future, and Tadashi's, and their future would be cut short if Claw didn't get a suitable male heir. Tadashi should have understood that…normally they understood each other better….

And normally they never attacked each other like this either.

"Really, I'm fine now-" said Hatori

"The only thing that I was brining up was the fact that you treat him like a child." Said Fukuda

"Well he is a child." Said Suzuki

"I'm twenty two-" said Hatori

"You treat him more like a child than your actual children." Said Fukuda

"He is more of a child than my actual children." Said Suzuki. Aside from Mukai Hatori was his youngest child. Shigeko was an adult in everything but the eyes of the law, he didn't care what Sho did, and he assumed that Shiori wasn't pregnant yet since she hadn't said anything, so that made Hatori his youngest….and Fukuda shouldn't have had a problem with that…but for some reason he did.

"I'm twenty two years old, guys, I'm not a little kid anymore." Said Hatori as he tried to sit back up. Suzuki pressed a hand to his chest in a firm but painless gesture of 'you will get up when I tell you to get up'. Tadashi scoffed and shook his head.

"You two have fun with whatever the hell you're doing. I'm going to leave before someone calls the cops." Said Tadashi. He got up and turned away….he was leaving. There was no choice to be made. He followed Tadashi. It would have been dangerous to be without his healer, especially if that other esper came back and decided to finish the job, and also….also he had this growing need to be beside Tadashi that could not be quenched. He would have thought that their escapades over Christmas would have sated him but, if anything, he had just made everything worse….

But he had to make it better…he had to figure out how to make it all better.

"What?" asked Tadashi. He stopped in his tracks and turned around. The light hit him so perfectly…he glowed….and Suzuki suddenly felt very weak. That was what Tadashi made him, weak, but weak in a way that…that he liked….that he wanted…that he sought out. Like when he asked Tadashi to pin him down and…and now was not the time to think about any of that.

"You're leaving." Said Suzuki

"I just told you that I was. Why don't you go back to tending to your fourth kid and leave me be? I have a lot of damage control to do…I didn't even know there were other people in the world who could make cherry bombs…" said Tadashi. Cherry…that was what they had called them, the energy bombs Suzuki could make, when they had been younger…it had been so long…but now it wasn't child's play anymore. Now they had a real threat to deal with. They had…they had a great deal of things to do….

With clear heads.

"I…would prefer it if you wait for me. We can regroup together and then think of a plan…but after I put Hatori to bed. He needs his rest, it's been a big day for him." said Suzuki

"He's twenty two, can't he rest on his own?" asked Tadashi

"I don't want to risk it. He's very weak and soft, like a very large newborn. He requires a level of care, a deep level of care." Said Suzuki. He couldn't just leave Hatori…but he didn't want to risk picking him up either. He wanted…he wanted….if he were being honest with himself he wanted time alone with Tadashi to…to figure things out….but that was not going to happen. He didn't even know if that would fix any of this. His mind used to have more tracks than this. He felt like he had gone from being an eight track tape to a normal tape, with an 'a' side and a 'b' side, and right now the entire 'a' side was taken up by Tadashi….if he gave in he knew that it would only get worse…he'd be down to no tracks at all like a…whatever sort of tape only had one track…a VHS tape? It would come to him later…or never…

Tadashi was looking right at him. It was difficult to think under these conditions.

"And let me guess, you're the only one who can give it to him?" asked Tadashi, something in his voice that Suzuki couldn't read but felt was very unkind.

"I'm the only one who cares to." Said Suzuki

"Then go, give it to him, and leave me out of it." Said Tadashi with a wave of his hand….a wave that Suzuki didn't understand. What was wrong with him? Why was he upset. He knew that Hatori was little more than a child…he knew that Hatori would die on his own.

"I have no desire to leave you out of anything. You're the person who built all of this with me. How can I leave you out of something you helped create?" asked Suzuki

"Well it sure as hell feels like you've been trying to." Said Tadashi, his tone unreadable.

"What are you talking about?" asked Suzuki

"Certain things which have happened between us. Things that we agreed never to speak about again-" said Fukuda

"If this is about the other night….I told you. I cannot jeopardize what I have with Shiori. I need an heir and…and I love her. I care for her. I need her like I need oxygen and the thought of losing her pains me greatly….as does the thought of losing you." Said Suzuki

"I'm not going to defect if that's what you're talking about." Said Fukuda

"Tadashi! I would never accuse you of such a thing. I know you and I know you would never behave in that way…I know that I can trust you…and I know that I cannot allow myself to return your advances. Not at this time…but please, we need to work things out. Our minds have been elsewhere. When we're distracted Claw loses it's way-" said Suzuki

"I haven't lost anything, Touichirou, you have. You're the only one here who's been distracted…and it's all because of that woman. Why are you spending so much of your time and mental energy one her when you could be pouring it into Claw…into us. It's like you said, we're Claw, and if we're distracted then it loses it's way. I know my way, but I'm not too sure about you anymore. Excuse me." Said Tadashi before he turned and walked away. Another other man would have been dead for his insolence…but Fukuda Tadashi was not just any other man. Fukuda was more than any other man, or woman, that he had ever met in his life and….

And his feelings for Fukuda were as deep as they were confusing.

But he had to confront them. They wouldn't be exorcised to they had to be fought. For the good of Claw. For the good of them all. Without him there was no Claw. When you cut off the head the body would die…and he had been very cut off from his work lately. Shiori had made him weak…but also she'd made him feel strong. She made him feel like he was a thousand meters tall. She made him feel like eh was already the king of the world. She made him feel like he was the man he had always been meant to be…she made him feel everything….but so did Tadashi…..this was so confusing…

He didn't have time to be confused.

Hatori was getting up and, yes, Tadashi had made a good point. An explosion, a fire fight, like that was sure to have drawn a crowd…he needed to get out of here. For his sake and Hatori's. He would live to fight another day. He would get himself back to normal. He would build Claw back up. He would be good to Shiori. He would get himself sorted out. Then, and only then, would Claw be sorted out…and then he could find that man….the power bomb maker….and then he would pay.

When Suzuki got sloppy Claw got sloppy…and no matter what sorts of emotions he had going on inside of himself he couldn't afford to get sloppy. Not now. Not when he was getting ready for his endgame.