Confessions of a Marauder
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On his seventeenth birthday, James Potter receives a diary from his best friend, for the sole reason that it was on sale. Soon, he finds himself pouring his thoughts and dreams into it, and beginning to realize his true feelings for Lily Evans. A funny diary, read!
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I don't get it.
I really don't get it.
How can that girl resist me?
Oh, gee, it's really hard to resist a boy whose hair has never seen a comb and with failing eyesight and a tendency towards big-headed-ness.
Plus a boy who has a nasty bruise on his left eye, which was given to him by a GIRL!
It shows she fancies me. I mean, I obviously mean more to her than any other boy. I don't exactly see her walking around punching other blokes.
That's an optimistic way of looking at it.
Sarcasm doesn't suit you, Sirius.
Neither does envy.
You're just jealous because Lily Elizabeth Evans fancies me and not you. Let me remind you that this girl has only gone on one date in her life, and is bloody hard to get.
And that one date?
After my slight intimidation, he lost the urge to ever look at Lily with more than friendship.
Slight? Let me remind you of what you said. "Back off from Evans, or I will make your life miserable beyond belief". That was a direct quote, by the way.
I said it in a jokey manner.
You know us guys, always playing around.
Anyways, I don't care. Lily and I have a beautiful relationship.
An abusive one.
Lily and I do NOT have an ABUSIVE relationship. She merely gets over-zealous in showing her love.
Besides, why the hell do you keep writing in my journal? And reading what I write? I take that as an invasion of privacy.
Who knows? Maybe you'll be stealing my knickers next.
James, believe me. I will never steal any bloke's knickers, especially yours, unless it's for a prank.
Yeah, right.
I am totally not convinced.
Well, let's see what's for homework today. Hopefully, none so I can think of ways to seduce Lily.
Merlin, I have way too much homework.
These professors are sadistic, diabolical people.
James Potter's To-Do List
1. History of Magic: essay detailing the reasons why the goblins rebelled in 1765 (does calling them ugly, stupid creatures ring a bell?)
2. Transfiguration: practice human transfiguration (like I need to)
3. Divination: chart of month's events-to-happen (all I have to write is how I will be severely injured/killed/maimed to get an O)
4. Potions: essay on moonstone's properties (stock up on Dungbombs for Snivellus)
5. Quidditch: discover a way to embarrass Slytherin even more than last time in the next match (if it's possible, that is)
6. Lily Elizabeth Evans: think of conversation that doesn't result in her punching me (yeah, right)
I guess Lily doesn't like talking about her love life.
If the new shiner on my eye is any clue, that is.
What did I do wrong? I'm writing my conversation here so Remus can look at it later.
James Potter: Lily Evans
I smile at Lily winningly, "Hey Evans."
She glares at me, and snaps, "Why don't you go jump off a cliff?"
This is quite nice of Lily to say, actually. Most times, it's a lot worse, as in "Why don't you go Avada Kedrava yourself?"
Encouraged by her answer, I continue, "Sorry about, erm, embarrassing you. You know, back in Transfiguration."
Lily frowns, "I remember. It's kind of hard to forget."
"So, erm, how's your love life."
That's me. Blunt and to the point.
She stares at me, disbelieving, "Did you just ask me how my love-life is?"
"Er…yes. How's Johnson? You know, that guy you dated once?"
This is actually a stupid question on my part. I already know that Daniel Johnson has never even talked to Lily, in fear of my pranks.
She slams her book shut, "He was a retard."
"I know. That's why I made him back off from you." I smile, sure that she will drop to her knees and thank me over and over again.
Lily stops writing her essay, "Are you telling me you're the one who made Daniel run off."
At this point, I see that her eyes are narrowing, and her lips are pursed. Instinct tells me to run away.
"Er…yeah…"
POW!
The 'pow' symbolizes the punch she threw.
END OF CONVERSATION-
Should have followed my damn instinct.
Thank Merlin Remus is back from the Hospital Wing. Now I can ask him exactly why Lily gave me a shiner. Make that two shiners.
Do girls tend to act violent towards the person they fancy? Maybe it's one of those girl things. You know…
James Potter's List of Weird Things Girls Do
1. Make-up: Believe it or not, guys are not turned on by seeing gobs of wax. I mean, it's bad enough biting into a wax fruit at some posh restaurant. Guys don't snog you so they can taste wax.
2. PMS: Every month, a girl becomes irritable, mean, and downright pissed off at everything. I'm sorry their hormones are out of whack, but it doesn't mean they can scream at us. And throw various articles at us, including hairbrushes, quills, and textbooks. And some of those girls have killer aim.
3. Prince Charming: It's sweet and all that girls think some handsome guy's going to come galloping up to them, all suave and macho, causing them to swoon, and marry them and live happily ever after. But, newsflash, that's a bloody fairy tale. If they think one of us guys is going to actually do that, then they are sick and deranged.
4. Cry/Show Emotions: Um, it's healthy to cry and let out your feelings, but don't get us involved. It's bloody frustrating having a girl slobber all over your shirt, and have her accuse you of having the emotional capacity of a spoon.
5. Go To The Loo In Packs: Do girls watch each other "relieve themselves"? That's gross, man.
6. Gossip: Does anyone really care what so-and-so did with her boyfriend? Everyone has secrets, so get over it.
7. Hygiene: Yes, I get the fact that we guys are dirty pigs. There's no reason to rub it in our face. And besides, we guys don't go around sniffing each other and declaring them to be "spring-time fresh". You do. Tell me who the creepy one is.
Girls are weird, man.
Yet you run around Lily, begging her for a date.
You know what, Remus?
Bugger off.
Author's Notes
Thanks you for all your reviews! Please, review! Remember, the more reviews, the longer and sooner the next chapter!
I have a poll. I want all of you to go to my profile, read my 'Confessions' stories (Confessions of a Withering FlowerConfessions of a Bewildered Head Girl, and Confessions of a Bewildered Head Girl
Then, I want you guys to tell me, which one should I continue? Please pick ONLY one.
THANKS!
Psychopenguin16: Lol, your name reminds me of the Mafia penguins in Madagascar. They're so totally funny! Anyways, I love James! James is sooooo adorable, at least the way I imagine him to be.
Evil Pillow: Thanks for reviewing!
MintyToothpick: Thank you for adding this! I hope you like this chapter!
Tamsididi: Thanks for reviewing! You almost always review my stories!
Amber-Tinted: Lol, James is adorable.
Ihateharryandhermioneshippers: Love your name, gotta agree. Thanks for reviewing.
Peanutbutta3636: Thanks for reviewing!
xRazberryGurlx: Thanks for the sweet comment, and I'm curious to know what other fanfic made you laugh?
Warrior of Tortall: Thanks for reviewing!
Crystal Kisses: LoL, I have the same experience. My brother thinks I'm mad when I start laughing randomly while reading a fanfic.
Aligindahouse: Thanks for reviewing!
DOJ: Thanks for reviewing!
Eva Angel: Thanks for adding this to your C2!
The5thmarauder: Thanks for reviewing!
Fairy Sprinkles: Thanks for reviewing!
SerenityRose016: Thank you sooooo much! I'm glad you liked it!
Bondariana: You're the first semi-flame I've gotten. But you're totally right. I wrote those Confession series when I had a lot of mixed up ideas running around in my head, but lately, I've started really dedicating myself to my stories. If my stories get a good response, then I continue. If they don't, I assume it was a stupid idea. Like some of my stories, like DPR and TDOLE have gotten GREAT responses, so I've continued. Others, like the Confessions and CYKAS haven't, so I thought no one liked them. I'm thinking about continuing one of my Confessions, and probably taking the others down. They were more like…experiments, to see what people like/dislike when I first started writing on ffnet.
Rosiemary: Thanks for reviewing!
Galasriniel: Thanks for reviewing!
Angelic Chocolate Fairy: Thanks for reviewing! Lily and James will be realizing just how special the other is….fluff, fluff. I love Sirius too!
Jersey Princess: James will be doing a LOT of growing, never fear! Thanks for reviewing!
Passion Flower 24: As I said, James will be maturing soon. Thanks for reviewing!
Lina and Mio: You're soooooooooo sweet! Thanks for reviewing!
JeevesandWooster: LoL, I totally agree. I see James as the annoying prat that you can't help but love.