Sho had never been afraid of heights.

When he had been a little kid he used to love them. He used to love to challenge himself to climb as high as he could go. Onto the coffee table, the kitchen counter, on top of his wardrobe, onto the garden wall…no height had ever been too high for him to climb. Big Sis had thought differently, as had Mom, but neither of them was there right now.

There wasn't anybody to tell him to get off of this streetlight.

"Can we get down, please?" asked Ritsu. He wasn't afraid, not at all, he was just clinging to Sho because he felt like clinging to him. That was all. He wasn't wearing his coat, for once, and Ritsu could actually feel him. What he felt like. How strong he was. How soft his shirt was. He was wearing a long sleeved shirt even though it was the middle of June. Even in the middle of the night it was hot. There wasn't any escape, not even at two o'clock in the morning.

It was way too hot for this, that was all.

"Are you scared or something?" asked Sho. He was kind of teasing, just a little. Not in a mean way, never in a mean way, he could never have been mean to his boyfriend. He just knew that there was no way that Ritsu was scared of being up this high. Ritsu wasn't afraid of anything. He was really cool like that. He was the coolest person that Sho had ever met in his entire life.

Also the sweatiest.

"No, its just hot up here." Said Ritsu, a bead of sweat making it's way from his forehead and down the bridge of his nose. He shook it off and watched it fall down to the sidewalk. He imagined it sizzling as it hit the ground. He hated summer. It was always way too hot. Fall was the best. Spring was too rainy and winter was too cold. It would have been better to have been up here during the fall. At least then the warmth of the light would have been more comforting and less like he was being cooked alive.

"It's June, dummy, it's hot everywhere." Said Sho with a laugh. Ritsu knew that he was just teasing….right? He craned his neck to the side. Ritsu didn't look hurt…he didn't look like anything other than a sweaty, melting, ice cream cone.

"It's hotter up here." Said Ritsu, his face getting even warmer than it had been before. That was Sho's fault for looking at him like that. He looked…cute….when he did that. When he looked at him like that…not that he wasn't cute all the time. Right now he was just extra cute….that was all.

"No it's not. We're outside, everything is the same level of hot." Said Sho. He wondered if he should have said something like 'not as hot as you, though' like he'd seen on TV. Girls liked that kind of thing, that was a line he would have used on Emmy if they had still been together, but he had no idea what boys liked. He was a boy and he didn't even know. He was happy with whatever Ritsu said to him.

He was happy just to be able to be near Ritsu.

"Heat travels upwards, that's why it's always so cold underground." Said Ritsu as he pulled his shirt away from his chest and fanned himself. It was way too hot up here. It wouldn't have been that much better down there but everywhere was better than his room. He had air conditioning, which was great, but also two parents, which were not so great. He wanted to be able to talk to Sho without worrying about getting caught and in trouble….though maybe he should have thought about that before agreeing to climbing on top of this streetlight.

There was no way Mom and Dad would have been ok with this…but luckily they, like everyone else, were sleeping.

"No, it's cold underground because the sun doesn't get down there." said Sho, still watching Ritsu. He mostly just wanted him to make that face, the one where his nose scrunched up and he looked like he was sucking on a lemon. He was so….it made Sho feel good when Ritsu did that. Like his heart was going to melt down and encase the goldfish in his stomach in wax but then the goldfish would fight to get out and break through the wax and….and something like that. Something good.

It was too hot to think.

"I can't tell if you're kidding or if you really are that bad at science." Said Ritsu, mostly just to watch Sho make that face. The one he made when he was challenged. The one he made where his eyes got this spark in them and his eyebrows narrowed and he got this little smile, but not his normal little smile, that tugged right there on the corners of his mouth.

"Hey, we can't all be nerds like you." Said Sho. Yes, success. Ritsu made that face, the one like he was sucking on a lemon. Sho's heart started to melt, like a candle, and the goldfish in his stomach was struggling to swim away and escape. There was no escape, though, not unless it actually swam out of his bellybutton like it was trying to do now…that would have sucked. He wouldn't have had a goldfish anymore….and he liked having a goldfish now.

So long as it only swam for Ritsu.

"I'm not a nerd, I just pay attention in school." Said Ritsu. Yes. There. Sho was making that face now…Ritsu wished he knew how to draw. It would have been weird to take a picture…right? To just pull out his phone and save this moment forever like he wanted to….yes, yes it was weird. If he did that then Sho was going to ask him why he did it and he didn't really have a good answer besides 'I think you're cute and want to look at this later when I'm all alone and you've gone back to wherever it is you come from' and that would have just been….weird. Sho was so lucky that he could draw. Ritsu had tried, failed, and realized that his notebooks were better used for journaling.

He'd write about this when he got home.

"Well not all of us go to-" said Sho. He wanted to keep this back and forth going for the rest of the night, whatever it took to keep Ritsu making that face. That face like he was sucking on the most sour lemon in the world…but he liked it. Sho wanted to look at him, too look at that face, until the end of time. He would have settled for the end of the night. For when the sky started to get bright, the birds started to sing, and he had to go home before anyone woke up and starting looking for him. He would have taken even another hour or two…but that wasn't what he got.

What he got was his phone ringing.

Specifically it was ringing out Big Sis's ringtone. We Know Better, the deleted song from Frozen the movie. Not the version they used in Frozen the play. Big Sis liked the deleted version of the song better because of a million and one weird Big Sis reasons. Sho looked over at Ritsu. Well there went his cute sucking on a lemon face and here was his 'upset' sucking on a lemon face. Sho didn't know what to do. If he hit ignore then Big Sis would have known, but if he let it go to voicemail then the ringing would have gone on all night…for the next thirty seconds, and then Ritsu would have been pissed off for the rest of the night. He didn't like music, he thought most of it was annoying, and that…that was kind of weird…but if that was how Ritsu felt…

But what about how Sho felt?

He didn't even know how he felt! He loved Big Sis a lot and…and part of him missed her. Not just because she was back in Hongkong watching the HQ for Dad but also because…because it felt like it had been forever since they'd hung out. Since they'd even talked. He had never thought about Big Sis as being his friend, sisters had always been their own category, but…but they had been friends. She had bene the first friend that he'd ever had….

But also…also she was on Dad's side…

"Aren't you going to get that?" asked Ritsu. He hated this song. He hated the words, he knew enough English to understand it, the music in the background…it was just the same notes over and over again…he even hated the singers' voices. Music was so annoying when you were forced to listen to it. He didn't hate all music, he just had actual taste in it…and it didn't matter what Teru thought. The difference between his taste and Teru's was that he actually had some, all Teru listened to was that loud, screamy, stuff….and why was he even thinking about Teru right now? Why was he thinking about his fake boyfriend when his real one was right there?

Probably, maybe, probably because this call might have been the thing that took Sho out of his life again…and maybe this time for good.

Claw was a dangerous place and Sho…he did dangerous work. He was trying to take it down from the inside. There were so many things that could go wrong….and so many things that were done to defectors. To people who tried to leave or betray Claw. Sho was in danger every second of his life and…and this might have been the call to get Sho out of his life forever….

There was no point in avoiding it, that would have just taken up too much time, it was better to know what was going wrong so you could then plan accordingly.

"It's my…my sister." Said Sho

"Whatever it is it's best to just deal with it now instead of letting it get worse and worse. At least if you deal with it now you'll have more time to plan your next move." Said Ritsu

"Yeah…yeah, you're right." Said Sho before he hit the talk button. Ritsu had a good point, this could have been bad news. Big Sis never called, she hardly ever texted, but texting was easier than calling. Calling…it must have been important….

It sure sounded important.

There was a lot of noise….music? Was that supposed to be music? It sounded like noise…well that was because it was coming in through one phone and out of another. Shimazaki had told him that phones were the worst thing to listen to music on. The speakers and mic were terrible, made for talking, and music had a lot more notes than talking….not that Sho cared at all about Shimazaki or what he said or thought or felt or…or anything! Sho didn't care about him anymore, he had Ritsu now, and he didn't miss him or think about him or-or anything!

He didn't even want to hear his voice…if that even was his voice he was hearing.

"What the hell is that?" asked Ritsu as his ears were filled with tinny shouting. He wanted to cover his ears, to tell Sho to hang up the phone, to take Sho's phone and throw it across the street…but he didn't. He just wiped off his forehead and listened. His sister was high up in Claw. She was second only to her Dad. She was important and what she was about to tell Sho could have been important. There could have been all kinds of Claw secrets to be learned….

That is if he could ever hear anything.

"I…I don't…hello? Big Sis? You…you there?" asked Sho. He could hear the phone moving, Big Sis talking, and then the music getting quieter. A lot quieter….quiet enough that he could actually hear what was happening. Shimazaki asked her if she wanted another drink…and she said yes. A white Russian…whatever that was. Sho didn't know, he didn't like drinking, and anyway Shimazaki had never once offered to take him out drinking or to…to whatever that was….

Not that Sho cared. He was done with all of that, those feelings, now.

"Big Sis, if you don't say whatever the hell you called me to say then I'm hanging up." Said Sho. He meant it, too. He just heard that lippy-smacky kissing noise…which meant that they had kissed…which meant that Sho…that Sho wasn't supposed to be hearing this. That was his big sister and his best friend…his ex-best friend. Real best friends didn't date your sister when they knew how you felt…how you used to feel about them…

Sho wanted to hang up…but he didn't…he couldn't.

"Wait! No, Sho, don't hang up! I miss you too much for you to hang up, Little Brother, and if you hang up then I'll be sad!" shouted Big Sis. Sho had to pull the phone away from his ear she was shouting so loudly.

"What do you want, then? Why are you calling me this late? Or at all, you never call." Said Sho

"I know, I know, I know that I never call you but I should! I should call you more and-and-and I should be a lot nicer to you. I should be a better big sister to you but-but-but I can't!" said Big Sis

"Why the fuck not? What's stopping you?" asked Sho. Ritsu was looking at him now, his eyebrows raised so high that they had beads of sweat dangling from them. What was he so….oh, right. Language. He could feel Fukuda's voice in his head telling him to stop cursing…maybe he should have. Ritsu never cursed…but this was a curse worthy event if there ever was one!

"Sorry, I shouldn't have said…yes I should have! This whole thing is really weird, you never call me and you never-" said Sho

"I know! I know that I never call you and I know that this is really weird and I know that I've been a bad big sister lately but I can't be a good one because then Fukuda will tell on me and I don't want him to tell on me! I mean it's none of his business and…and never tell anyone you have a boyfriend, ever, because when you do then Fukuda is going to think about you having sex with him and then when you do have sex with him then Fukuda is going to tell Dad all about it!" said Big Sis. Sho dropped his phone. Luckily Ritsu caught it with his powers…or unluckily. How could she….how could she have SAID that!? That…she did NOT ever get to use that word and…and Sho wasn't even doing that and…and there was no way to do that because they were both guys! There was nowhere for their dicks to go and…and he wasn't telling his sister that! She didn't need to know about how all two guys could do was touch each other's dicks and…and he didn't want to talk about anything related to dicks or touching dicks or doing it with his SISTER!

What was WRONG with her?!

"Big Sis! I am NOT talking about that with you! Why would you even-" said Sho. He was red. Ritsu was red. It was hot out…that was it. Ritsu hadn't heard…he wasn't thinking about….Sho was the only one thinking about that and it was super weird of him because he was also talking to his sister!

"Because I have to warn you! You're like…you're like when Elsa and Anna are playing at the beginning of Frozen, you're Anna and I'm Elsa, and Elsa is making the snow mountains but she can't work fast enough and she tries to warn Anna but then Anna gets hit in the head with magic….but I don't have magic….but I am trying to warn you! I was just thinking that I was having fun, I have no idea where I am or what band this is but Ryou's happy and also I have cotton in my ears and someone threw up on the floor and I stepped in it, I'm in the bathroom now, but it's ok because I'm just standing in front of the mirror…my hair looked much prettier red….my bangs are getting too long…I need a bath….I miss my bath bombs…do you remember when we used to be little and we took baths together and we used all of our bath bombs at once and then-" said Big Sis

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, I remember when we were little kids! Just…what's wrong with you? If you called me just to talk about weird stuff then…then call someone else." Said Sho

"No! I want to talk to you! I'm just drunk and…and I love you and I wanted to warn you! I know that you're in Seasoning City with that boy you like and I know that people who are in love have-" said Big Sis

"Don't say it!" shouted Sho. Across the street a light turned on…right. It was two in the morning...but still! Big Sis had started it!

"Ok, ok, ok, but I read that it's nothing to be embarrassed about…even though it's embarrassing and stuff. I know that you don't have anyone to talk to and I know how important it is to talk to someone about this stuff and I know how confusing it is so if you ever need to talk to someone you can talk to me. I promise that I won't make you feel embarrassed and I'll answer all of your questions-" said Mob

"No way! You're my SISTER!" shouted Sho

"Maybe the whole world doesn't need to hear that…" muttered Ritsu. They had to get down, now. This was not the place for…whatever weird stuff Sho was talking about to his sister. Ritsu didn't know and he didn't want to know. He wondered if Shigeko, his Shigeko, would have talked to him about this stuff…probably not because they would have both been in bed right now and neither of them would have been drunk.

"Sorry." whispered Sho as he covered his phone with his hand. He…he needed to hang up. Big Sis was drunk and when she got drunk she said things that didn't make any sense…and right now Sho needed things to make sense. Inside he didn't make any sense at all. Why…why did this hurt so much? That the only time she'd called him, the first time in forever, she was drunk and…and with his ex-best friend? And…and why…why did it still hurt even when he looked at Ritsu?

Even when Ritsu took his hand?

"….because I love you. I love you and Fukuda is mean and a blackmailer and also sometimes when you love someone they don't love you back and then you have sex with them and then your heart breaks and you don't even get a baby out of it. If you want to have a baby then I support you, by the way, and you'll have to tell me what names you want so I don't accidentally take them. I like Shoko and Shigeo and Elsa and Anna and-" said Big Sis

"You're drunk and talking crazy. I can't have a baby, me and Ritsu are both guys, that's not how it works. I'm hanging up now. You can call Minegishi or whoever if you want to talk to someone so bad." Said Sho. He pulled his phone away from his ear and hung up. She had been in the middle of saying something else but he didn't want to hear it. He didn't want to hear anything from her while she was drunk. He didn't want…he didn't know what he wanted. He wanted to talk to her, to be able to hangout with her, but he couldn't. He couldn't because…because things were different now and…and also apparently Fukuda was blackmailing her….

He wouldn't have.

Fukuda…Sho had told him not to fuck with Big Sis anymore. She wasn't on their side, fine, but that didn't mean that they had to mess with her-her life or whatever! Ok, it was weird that she liked Shimazaki, it was mean that she had agreed to be Shimazaki's girlfriend and to do…it….with him, and it pissed Sho off to no end that she was always going to be on Dad's team for the uprising or insurrection or…or whatever the fuck Dad was calling it these days! Fukuda knew better than to piss her off! If he pissed her off then she would have had reason to get revenge and…and this was Big Sis he was talking about. She didn't get revenge, she didn't even know what revenge was. She just…if Dad knew then he would have been mad at her and…and Sho shouldn't have wanted that!

And Fukuda should not have been blackmailing people!

Sho's aura flared. Ritsu scooted away from him. Sho knew that he had to get himself under control but-but it was HARD! Big Sis…why in the hell was Fukuda blackmailing her?! And why…did he have brain worms or something!? That was the worst thing that he could have done! Nobody fucked with Sho's sisters, nobody, not even Fukuda! When Sho found him he was going to-

-get flicked over the head.

"Stop freaking out. It's not that bad." Said Ritsu simply. Sho was being weird. So his sister had said some weird stuff, it wasn't like Sho had been compromised or anything. It wasn't like she had sent people after him. It wasn't like he was about to be dragged away to be tortured and brainwashed. That whole thing had been awkward, Ritsu was glad that he didn't have a sister to talk to him about that stuff, but it wasn't life threatening. What was life threatening, however, was the probability of them getting caught. If they got caught up there then someone was going to freak out and call the cops and then Mom and Dad would have a million questions for him and Sho would have been exposed and then the entire operation would have been compromised.

Really, with how things could have gone, they'd gotten pretty lucky.

"That's easy for you to say! Your sister didn't just drunk call you and….oh….fuck! I'm sorry, I forgot-" said Sho

"Shut up about that. I have a sister, she died, it was sad. I was sad when I was a baby, I'm not sad now." Said Ritsu

"….I still shouldn't complain." Said Sho

"No, you can, that was really weird and I don't know this Fukuda guy personally but I know what you told me about him, that he's someone who took care of you when you were a kid, and I think that it's really messed up that he's blackmailing your sister…and also kind of dumb since she knows stuff and she can…she can do a lot…." Said Ritsu. Now it was Sho's turn to take him by the hand…and make that face. That concerned face. That 'poor little Ritsu' face. He never wanted to see Sho make that face again…he focused on the annoyance. Yes, that was good. He focused on the annoyance and not on that fact that if Sho's sister ever stopped being drunk then she could realize…all the stuff that she could do to them….

"Yeah…yeah! It's stupid and-" said Sho

"It's stupid and something that we can talk about on the ground. Right now. Before anyone notices us up here." Said Ritsu

"Oh…right. Sorry." said Sho before he got them both down onto the ground, and not a moment too soon. As soon as their feet touched the ground a window opened and someone called out after them. They ran and ran and ran. They didn't stop until they couldn't run anymore, until they were both soaked through with sweat, until both of their body were so completely out of energy that all the could do was collapse into the nearest set of bushes they could find.

Luckily it didn't have thorns.

Sho was tired…not so tired that he wasn't pissed but…but so tired that he just…that he just wanted to enjoy the night. Big Sis was being blackmailed and…and that was fucked up but she wouldn't have gotten blackmailed in the first place if she hadn't fallen in love with Shimazaki, in love enough to do it with him, more in love than Sho had ever been in his life…he loved Ritsu but not enough to do…all the stuff that Big Sis did….and had tried to talk to him about….

Gross!

There was no way in hell he was ever going to talk about doing it, or anything related to doing it, with his own big sister! That was just wrong! Sick and wrong! The only person who would have been OK with that would have been a drunk person, which she was, and which she shouldn't have been! Why did she have to get drunk?! Why did she have to always be...like that? Why did... What was wrong with Sho? Why did he have to be like this? He should have been pissed at Fukuda, not at Big Sis, and he was pissed at Fukuda! He was...he was going to call Fukuda... and then he was going to yell at him... and then when next time he saw Fukuda he was going to hit him. That's what was going to happen. Nobody fucked with Sho's sisters! He was going to make Fukuda pay.

Later.

Not now. Right now…right now he just wanted this to be about him and Ritsu. Right now he just….he just wanted to enjoy this for as long as he could. He didn't want his life to creep into this, not yet, he wanted to keep this…he wanted to keep all of this just…happy. He wanted to stay happy, to stay here with Ritsu, and just…and just to be happy with him…with his boyfriend. Big Sis had been having a great time, it sounded like, with her boyfriend so…so he was going to have a good time with his…even if they weren't up high anymore.

Well, what went up had to come down…and all that…