Mob had no idea what time it was.

She couldn't remember going to bed. She couldn't even remember…she couldn't remember how she had gotten to this bed. It felt different, not as soft, and it smelled different. Kind of like detergent, but not the nice kind, the kind with the soap smell that Dad and Sho liked. Mob liked the kind that smelled like lavender, the same kind Minegishi liked. This smelled like…she buried her face into the sheets. Soap, mostly, and also sort of like a furniture store. Like that sort of smell.

She hoped she hadn't fallen asleep in a furniture store.

Those beds had always looked so inviting. When she had been little she used to think that the people who worked at the stores slept in the beds when the store closed. She would have, if she could have, but only if it was ok. She knew that sleeping in a furniture store was not ok…she knew that a lot of the things she did were not ok. The things she had been doing.

There was an arm around her waist.

She lifted her head and turned around. This was…probably not going to be the last time. She always told herself that it was going to be the last time but…well she never meant it. Not in any serious way. She couldn't have been serious, not if she just kept on making the same mistake over and over again. She was always mad at herself afterwards, that was just how it worked. She felt really good and then she felt bad and told herself that she was never going to do it again but then she did and felt bad all over again…it just kept going around and around in a circle.

Maybe she was just a bad person….maybe she was just good at making mistakes….

Turning to face him had been a mistake. She couldn't tell if he was asleep or awake. Sometimes she woke up to him playing with her hair or rubbing her back like he was petting a cat. That was always…weird…and Mob didn't know why. They had done weirder things, they had done all the things, but there was just something about how he touched her in those times…the way he looked at her….well he never actually 'looked' at her but she could tell when he was paying an extra amount of attention to her…it was just…

Weird.

Even looking at him was weird. Her brain felt…kind of like it had corners. Like the corners of her brain were rubbing up against her skull. It hurt a little but mostly just felt weird. Looking at him didn't help. He was smiling now, he did that in his sleep, and….and he cried in his sleep, too, so the smiling was better than the crying. The smiling, at least, meant that he was happy. He said that he didn't ever remember his dreams. Mob wished that he did, then he could have told her about them, then they would have had something to talk about….sometimes it felt like they had nothing to talk about. Nothing but how much he loved her. She had no idea how three words could have taken up so much space. I love you. The three most important words that you could ever say to someone. The three words that she had wished, more than anything else, for a boy to say to her…he had said them to her…and he was a boy. He was a boy and he was her friend….

But it was weird having him as a boyfriend.

The hand on her waist began to move. He spread his fingers out, fanned them out, and then just kept on holding her. She had no idea if he was waking up or dreaming. She hoped he was asleep. If he had been asleep then she could have snuck out of bed and put her clothes on…wherever they were. She couldn't remember. She didn't even remember coming here. She remembered…they had been on a plane…and now she was here. This was…she looked around as best as she could.

Not Japan.

She could see out the window. That was not Osaka. Also all the signs were in English…she remembered that she took something so she could sleep on the plane. One of those bitter pills that Minegishi took…she owed Minegishi a lot of pills. She owed them a boyfriend, too, while she was at it. She had stolen their…they were sharing a…she didn't even know. She never should have made him like her, that was all she knew. She knew that if she hadn't done whatever it was that she had done that…that they wouldn't have been here right now.

Wherever 'here' was.

She sat up, slowly, so slowly that she didn't wake him if he was asleep. She needed her clothes. She needed to put on all of her clothes and then…and then never even think of taking them off again. She just…she always said that. She always said that this would be the last time, that she was going to be fully dressed for the rest of her life even in the bath, and…and it never worked out that way. Shimazaki kissed her or touched her and she remembered how good it felt and then she just…sometimes things happened. She just let them happen and…and as long as she kept her eyes closed and thought about someone else then it wasn't weird at all…not until it was over….and then he wanted to lay down and talk and smoke and he told her he loved her…

It was never going to stop being weird. Him telling her he loved her.

Weird and just…big? Like what he said took up space. In her head and in her life. Like sleeping on a bed not built for two, though even a bed built for two could be way too crowded. Like how. Sitting up just made him hold her tighter, it just made him shift even closer to her. Why? They had been together for…she didn't even know how long. Why did he always want to be so close to her? Why did he…why had he fallen in love with her? Why couldn't they have just stayed as friends? Maybe even friends who did…all the things…maybe it would have been less weird in that case. Like she wouldn't have been stealing from Minegishi. Like…well she kind of would have…but they had told her, before, that sex didn't have to mean anything else but sex. You didn't have to be in love to do that with someone. You could just….do that with him…like she and Teru had done. She had been in love with Teru but he hadn't been in love with her and…and she was never going to do that to anyone. Ever. Make them feel the way Teru made her feel.

She didn't think that she ever could have done that to another person.

So she stopped moving. She just stayed sitting up. He ran his hand up and down her side…he was awake. He was moving better, with more purpose, than he did when he was asleep. Boys moved a lot in their sleep for some reason. Sho had kicked in his sleep all of his life. Dad liked to hold her…and also sometimes he thought that she was Mom. Dad held her the same way Shimazaki held her…so then why did she think that it was weird? Maybe she was the one who was weird or…or something. She didn't know.

She just knew she wanted to get up and get dressed already.

"Um…good morning? Do you want to get up now? And get dressed?" asked Mob. Shimazaki left go of her and stretched. She scooted more to the end of the bed. He needed the space. So did she.

"What time's it?" asked Shimazaki

"I don't know. Daytime?" asked Mob

"Here or in Osaka?" asked Shimazaki

"Here…I don't know where 'here' is but I know that sun's out." Said Mob. Shimazaki stretched one more time before he sat up. She would have given him more room but there wasn't anymore room to give, not unless she wanted to sit on the floor…that wouldn't have been so bad, actually.

"I'm pretty sure we're back in Broadway. You wanted to see Cats again, right?" asked Shimazaki

"I…did?" asked Mob

"Yeah, you wanted to see Cats and then I said we should go see it on Broadway, since that's the best place, or maybe London…wait, no, you said that we could never go to England ever again because your brother's ex lives there and it would have been awkward to run into her. Personally I don't think it's that big of a worry, there are millions of people in England, but it's your plane and your money and your idea so I guess we're in Broadway now." Said Shimazaki

"Oh…" said Mob. Right, she could sort of remember saying something like that. Back when she had gotten the new cat ears headband and then she had seen that cat and…and also she maybe needed to practice moderation like Minegishi had said. They had warned her before about losing time, about how that was a bad sign, about how you took things and did things to make your life easier but never to skip it. Once you started trying to skip the bad parts of life all together you ended up missing out on the good parts too…and also hitting fast forward on the bad parts of life was kind of like the coward's way out….Mob didn't want Minegishi to think any less of her than they probably already did..

They probably hated the person she had become…she knew that she wasn't all to happy with herself either.

She didn't know how she had gotten here. It had all happened so fast, like she'd hit the skip button on her life. One minute she had been normal…she had been playing with Sho and just…doing kid stuff…and now she was an adult. Life was short. She had always heard adults saying that but she had never understood it. Well now she did. She was thirteen and she was all grown up and…and she didn't know if she wanted to be. She didn't know if she was ready to be…to be this person. The sort of person who…who her dad didn't like….who did things that made people dislike her…

Why did people have to…to scrutinize her like that?

That was one of her vocabulary words…she hadn't done any homeschool work in a while. Tsuchiya would have been so mad at her if she knew…everyone would have been so mad at her if they knew. If they knew everything…Mob couldn't get rid of the feeling that she had done something bad. No matter what she did or what Minegishi told her, she had texted them at some point and then they had told her that whatever she was so sad about was fine, or what Shimazaki said….no matter what she did she still felt like she had done something wrong. Dad hated the person that she had become and everyone else would too…it had started with Fukuda and then Dad and soon…soon everyone she had ever known would hate her and then…and then they would leave and she would have been all alone….

Shimazaki pulled her close.

"Hey, hey, come on. What's with this?" asked Shimazaki

"Whats with what?" asked Mob

"I can hear your aura. Something's bothering you, you're getting ready to get all mopey, and let me tell you something. Are you ready?" asked Shimazaki

"I…I'm ready." Said Mob. She prayed, inside of her head, that this wasn't going to be about how much he loved her or how much he wanted to be with her for the rest of his life…or something about doing all the things. She didn't even want to do any of the things right now. Even that one thing that was really good but also kind of gross when she thought about it…well it was all kind of gross when you really sat down and thought about it…and she felt gross so she wouldn't even be doing that thing! She needed a bath…she was all sticky and sweaty. A bath and some clean clothes…

When Shimazaki was ready to let her go. Not now. That would have hurt his feelings.

"Moping around does not suit you one bit." Said Shimazaki. He leaned in close to say that and then, when he was done, tried to kiss her. She turned her head to the side without thinking. She just…she didn't want to kiss him right now. What she wanted more than anything else in the world was some space…but that would have been mean….and she didn't want to be a mean person.

Just because she was a Suzuki, just because she had Dad's blood in her, didn't mean that she had to be like him.

"I'm sorry. I just….I just don't want to kiss you right now…because you didn't brush your teeth! Yes, you didn't brush your teeth and neither did I…so we should do that. We should brush our teeth and get dressed and then…um…see Cats? I have to see when the tickets are for…um…but if it's late then we can do other things." Said Mob

"Want to drop something heavy from a skyscraper? Sho and I did that last time we were here and-" said Shimazaki

"No, that's mean Ryou. Someone could get hurt." Said Mob

"Well that's kind of the point…but you're right, you're right. It's mean and you don't like that kind of thing." Said Shimazaki

"I don't…but if you want to go somewhere and do mean things to people then you can. I just won't come with." Said Mob. She prayed in her head again, though she wasn't sure if she was doing it right, that Shimazaki did as she asked. That he left and went out to do some Shimazaki stuff. Stuff that he knew she wouldn't have wanted to be involved in. Then she could have done some Mob stuff. She could have…well she hadn't been to the Disney Store in a while. She didn't fit into anything from there anymore but Mukai did….not Sho, he was too big too, or at least he had been the last time she'd measured him. She would get him something though, something like…like M&M's from the M&M store. He still liked candy. He was never going to be too big for candy…and while she was out she could find souvenirs for everyone and then….and then she would also have some space to think and just…just to be able to breathe for a little while….

Shimazaki hadn't left her alone for more than five minutes since they left Hongkong.

"No way am I leaving you all alone in the big city…and even if this was the middle of nowhere or whatever I still wouldn't leave you alone. First of all I know you, if someone threw you in a sack and carried you away then you wouldn't even struggle." Said Shimazaki

"I wouldn't want to hurt anyone…but I don't know if that's a thing that actually happens." Said Mob

"It does, ask the guys over at asset acquisition." Said Shimazaki

"Oh…well we shouldn't be kidnapping people. It isn't nice." Said Mob. She had told everyone to stop it…but Dad must have told them that kidnapping was ok. She wished he would have listened to her but he didn't ever listen to anyone…and anyway like he had said, he was the Dad and she was the daughter, and she didn't get to tell hm what to do…even when she knew she was right.

"Mob, never ask me about my work. Trust me, you won't like it." said Shimazaki

"I know what you do. You keep me and Sho and Mukai…and Dad, but he doesn't like you, safe. Also sometimes people try and kill my Dad so you have to kill them…like self defense but for Dad…and I don't like it but I think that if someone tries to kill my Dad then….well they shouldn't be doing that." Said Mob. Shimazaki nodded and sighed.

"Yeah, that's pretty much it…people who try to kill your Dad and people who stand in his way. Listen, I don't…well I don't hate my job…it's kind of like stepping on ants to me. It's just a thing I have to do. I know you don't like it and…I really don't want to have to this conversation." Said Shimazaki

"We can talk later if you want…or we don't have to talk at all. I can go and-" said Mob

"But it's like, one we have to have, you know? I've been doing a lot of reading…well, I've been listening to a lot of books, and communication is important. It's better to have the big conversations now before they turn into deal breakers." Said Shimazaki

"Deal breakers?" asked Mob. She didn't get it. She could tell what the word meant from it's parts, Tsuchiya had taught her about that in homeschool, but…but how could you break a deal like this? A relationship? Relationships weren't deals, not like the business deals Dad made, relationships were built and love and wanting to be together and stuff like that…and also when you broke a relationship your deal didn't just fall through. When you broke a relationship then you broke up and you never saw that person ever again…..Mob wasn't capable of doing that.

"But also I guess I'm worried about finding a deal breaker and then….you make me happy, you know that? I don't think that I've ever been as happy in my entire life as I have been with you and I guess I'm scared that the day you realize how amazing you are you'll leave me like Toshi tried to-" said Shimazaki

"No! I mean…I'll never leave you, ever, no matter what." Said Mob. She hugged him….it was weird hugging him like this…but everything about this relationship was weird. Everything about this felt weird and looked weird and sounded weird and…and that was just the way things were for her now. That was just…this was just…this was just the way everything was and….and she didn't know if it would ever get any better but she knew that it could get worse

There was always something worse.

"I know…I mean I know now. Thanks for reminding me…I guess that I need a reminder sometimes. But enough of this! How about you and I get dressed and find something fun to do. Something you like." Said Shimazaki

"Um…we could go to the big park, smoke, and then pet stranger's dogs." Said Mob

"Mob…you're beautiful you know that?" asked Shimazaki….right before he kissed her. They hadn't brushed their teeth so it was weird…this whole thing was weird…and it wasn't going to get any less weird. It hadn't been any less weird in Hongkong or Okinawa or…or wherever she was now…and it didn't get any less weird no matter how many people she talked to about it….so maybe this was just what her life was now.

Well that was…she could get used to this.

He wasn't mean to her, he said that he would always like her, and they had fun together. What could have been better than that? Things being the way they had been before…but that wasn't going to happen. The only thing that was going to happen was…was that she was going to go to the park and pet some dogs and then she was going to see Cats and through all of it she was going to smoke. So it was going to be a good day…

And if not then…well there was always tomorrow.