One motherfucking assfucking dicksucking day the red faggot himself Spider-Man was flying across the city with his web. He looked down at the people walking by on Wall Street. He smiled because as he was flying, he was taking huge amounts of shit from his asshole and dumping it on everyone he flew over.

Spider-Man actually didn't give two fucks about those liberal faggots. All they did was cry, bitch and moan about literally everything. He wanted to brutally murder them but he knew that killing people or killing anything really, was against his moral ethic (like every cocksucking superhero ever). It seemed like the only way to get rid of those motherfucking people was to either let some pussywiped villain kill them while he wasn't looking, though it would ruin his reputation if he were to not do anything. He knew there were good people out there but most of the time people would rather fuck him than let him fuck them.

He flew into his fucking apartment where his slut of an aunt, his Aunt May, was cooking dinner. He took off his suit and put some fucking pajamas on, after all, it was the fucking evening. He walked out of his room and sat down at the dinner table with his aunt. He saw her fucking new boyfriend Jacob sit on the couch watching whatever the fuck was on. Inception? The Walking Dead? Who fucking cares at this point? I just wanna die.

"So, Aunt May. What did you do today?" asked Peter.

"Nothing much. Just hanging out with Jacob" she said while looking over at her boyfriend with big abs and muscles. He was looking at his phone while moving his finger up and down. There was a slight buzzing noise coming from Aunt May's chair. She started to move slightly to the left and right while making weird noises.

"You, okay?" Peter asked. Peter was concerned for his aunt. After all, she was all he had left in life.

"Y-Yeah I'm f-f-fine aaaaa" she said while squirming in her chair. Peter had enough of this and left the room to do some "school work".

Peter entered his fucking small ass room and turned on his fucking laptop and began to masturbate to that one Toy Story fanfic about Andy shoving Woody up his little tight ass. Afterwards he went to bed, dreaming about black people and other lame bullshit.

Just then, during the middle of the night, Peter woke up to the sound of Aunt May screaming bloody murder. Peter immediately put his raggedy ass suit and crawled onto the ceiling, making his way into the living room where he saw Aunt May getting FUCKED REAL DEEP boy her buff ass chad of a boyfriend. Peter wanted to vomit but he didn't want his cover to be blown, so he crawled back into his room, took his suit off and plopped down onto his bed.

Peter loved his aunt. And that right there shows that he is capable of protecting people. Even though Aunt May was getting FUCKED HARD and enjoying it, that scream was enough to wake Petey up and see what the problem was.

Without her, I don't know where I would be.

The next morning, Peter woke up and noticed that Aunt May and her boyfriend weren't there. Peter stumbled into the kitchen and saw a note tapped to the fridge.

"Dear Peter,

Jacob and I left to do some errands. We'll be back later tonight! XOXO

-Aunt May"

Peter wasn't mad nor sad at this. He had the entire day to himself. Something he needed. Saturdays are for the boys, motherfucker.

He walked back into his room and got back in bed. He was still tired from saving the city yesterday, and from that incident that happened during the night. It was only 4am and the sun hadn't even come out yet.

Who the fuck goes for "errands" at 4 in the fucking morning?

Petr rolled his eyes and fell back asleep. Little did his know that today was going to be fucking crazy.

Peter woke to the sound of his alarm clock. He groaned. He forgot to turn it off since it was a Saturday. What a fucking retard. He slammed his fucking fist onto it and it shut off. Luckily it didn't fucking break since it was made in fucking China in one of those fucking sweat shops where 10-year-old children work 9 to 5 while being on high alert because the fucking Chinese just love being communist fucks do they?

The red faggot got up and went to the motherfucking kitchen to make himself some fucking breakfast. He sat down on the couch with some fucking Captain Cock cereal and switch to FOX News to see the AWESOME EPIC GAMER, TUCKER CARLSON

"Good fucking morning. I am motherfucking Tucker Carlson, motherfucker. Coming to you LIVE from FOX News. Here are today's top stories: A old man face-fucks a picture of Margret Thatcher and lights it on fire, a radical leftest dies after jizzing on the statue of Joseph Stalin, a little girl tries to outrun Jared Fogle from Subway but fails, famous Furry Twitter user BlueFolf gets sentenced to prison for being transgender, James Franco announces that he will be running for President as a Republican in 2028 and Valve FINALLY releases the Heavy Update for Team Fortress 2".

Spider-Man switched the motherfucking channel to watch some cartoons.

I think that's enough FOX News for today.

Peter ate all his food and cleaned up while Looney Tunes played in the background.

"That'll hold em all right! Hehehe! Fooey!" said Big Chun- uh I mean Bugs Bunny.

Just the motherfucking Green Goblin flew into the fucking apartment. Peter immediately jumped into his room and put on his suit and ran back out to find the Green Goblin pissing in the fucking sink.

"BRO, WHAT THE FUCK?! WHY ARE YOU FUCKING PISSING IN MY SINK?!" yelled the red faggot. Green Goblin jumped on the fucking red faggot and began to fucking dry-hump him. Spider-Man fucking stabbed him with a fucking dildo and the fucking Green Goblin died on the fucking kitchen floor. Spider-Man had fucking succeeded once more!

Just then he was fucking shot in the fucking head by motherfucking James Franco- uh I mean motherfucking Harry Osborn. "You fucking faggot! You killed my father!"

Harry began to fucking tee bag the corpse of Spider-Man. Later, he took the fucking corpse into a dark alley, doused his body with gasoline and lit it that motherfucking bitch on fire. Harry did a random Fortnite dance and went on to become fucking Mayor of fucking New York City. He was a good fucking Mayor and had 8 fucking terms because why the fuck not?

He fucking later died of penis cancer. The Fucking End.