This was supposed to be the happiest place on Earth.
Mob didn't get it. She was at Disney World, she had a new Elsa shirt that fit her perfectly, and she had a churro filled with chocolate. She should have been happy. She had all the things that had made her happy last time she went to Disney World. So why wasn't she happy? Disney World used to be the best place in the world for her, Well sometimes it was boring, but even the boring parts were fun... But then again Sho had been there.
Things were always better when Sho was around.
Even when they had been little, when Dad used to leave them here for days at a time, and they didn't have any friends, this had still been the most fun place in the world. She had Sho used to go to the shows, ride the rides, get all the snacks, and sometimes just deal the wishes from the fountain and then would take those coins, throw them back in and wished for the original wishes to come true. So really, it hadn't really been stealing wishes, they had been double wishing for people, which was good.
Shimazaki, on the other hand, just like to steal wishes.
"Here you go, Mob." Said Shimazaki as he handed Mob another coin. She took it and held it in her hand…but she wasn't smiling. He didn't get it. Toshi loved this. They pretended that they didn't like it when he got them fountain coins but they did, he could tell by their smile, and the way their aura sounded. Well he had tuned out everything in the world that wasn't Mob, the people walking by and the music and the sun beating down on his head, but she wasn't smiling. He stuck his arm into the fountain again and felt around. He didn't trust water at the best of times and now that he'd tuned out everything but Mob…well if he fell in then he was fucked.
Well Mob would save him…yeah…what had he been thinking.
He fished out another coin and handed it to her. More of the same. She took it, held it in her free hand, and looked down at her shoes. She wasn't even eating her churro, and it had chocolate in it. He didn't get this. This was supposed to be Mob's happy place. This was the happiest fucking place on Earth! That was how they advertised it! The Disney Corporation had managed to isolate and replicated fun in a lab somewhere and now everyone here had no choice to be happy. That was what that cookie smell was.
Maybe Mob wanted a big cookie?
Maybe that was it. Maybe the right snack would make her feel better. Toshi got kind of cranky when their blood sugar was low…but then why wasn't Mob eating her churro? She was just staring at her shoes…did she have nice shoes on? Toshi would have known, they were good at that sort of thing, clothes sorts of things…did Mob hate her shoes? Or maybe they shouldn't have come here. Maybe Mob was too old or something? He sensed a lot of kids around….maybe seeing all of these kids was making her want to have a kid? Well that…was not happening from him. He loved her but the only person he wanted to make new people with was Toshi…did Mob feel down about that? Did she feel second best? He knew what it felt like to be second best…he knew what a lot of things felt like…
All his fucking feelings.
"Shima-Ryou? Are you going to put the coins back in the fountain?" asked Mob. Her whole lap was full of coins. People passing by gave them looks. Someone had even come up to them, or looked like they were going to, but then they looked at Shimazaki's cane and walked away really fast. Shimazaki had said that people avoided him when they realized he was blind, like they could catch it or something, and that had always seemed kind of lonely to Mob…not that she wanted to get kicked out of Disney World or anything like that.
No, that wouldn't have made her happy at all.
"Hell no, those are for you." Said Shimazaki
"But….I have a lot of money already." Said Mob. She used her powers to shake her Elsa bag…but it didn't make noise…because she only had paper money. Right. Maybe he just thought that they didn't have any money because he couldn't hear it…but he knew she had money. Dad's money was her money, Dad had even said so. He had told her that all she needed from him was his financial support…and she had it…
She would rather have had a Dad than an Elsa bag, or any kind of bag, full of money.
"Well now you have more of it." said Shimazaki
"But I don't need it…is this a boy thing? My Dad always said that boys supported girls with money and that girls supported boys by taking care of the house and cooking their meals and taking care of their kids and stuff." Said Mob
"It's not a guy thing…maybe. I don't know, I just like giving you stuff. Makes me feel useful." Said Shimazaki
"You are useful, Ryou, you're my friend…my boyfriend." Said Mob. She put her hand on his arm, right on a tattoo that Sho had probably done for him. He was just in a t-shirt, not his coat. People in this country were ok with tattoos. They stared, but probably not in a mean way, or maybe they were just staring because he had been stealing from the fountain…they needed to get up soon. As soon as Mob finished her churro and her feet stopped hurting and Shimazaki stopped feeling bad about himself.
"Yeah, I know…but I don't know. It's like the day you realize how amazing you are you'll leave me…that's just how I feel sometimes…all my fucking feelings…" said Shimazaki
"Feelings aren't bad and…and I would never leave you. You'd be stranded and in a whole other country, too. Your English isn't as good as mine and you'd really be in trouble. I could never do that to you." Said Mob
"I'd get by. There's not a lot of talking in what I do." Said Shimazaki
"I still wouldn't ever leave you…I can't. That's not how this works." Said Mob. She wasn't Mom. She wasn't going to leave no matter how unhappy she was…no matter how may of her f-wording feelings she felt. Shimazaki loved her and…and when someone loved you then you had no choice but to love them back. That was how love worked.
"Something's not working…." Muttered Shimazaki
"Space Mountain isn't working today but the rest of Tomorrowland is good. Um…do you want to go to Tomorrowland next?" said Mob
"I'm not sure, but that's not what I meant anyway." Said Shimazaki
"Then what did you mean?" asked Mob
"I meant something's not working here." Said Shimazaki
"The shave ice stand? There's another one if you want a shave ice. I don't really like the shave ice here that much, I like the ice cream bars that look like Mickey's head. Sho likes them too. He used to bite the ears off and say 'die Mickey' even though that was mean and one time the real Mickey Mouse, well not the 'real' one, you know what I mean, was there and I was so embarrassed but then I remembered that people around here don't know Japanese so then I felt better so….um…do you want some ice cream?" asked Mob
"No, well yeah, it's hot as fuck out here…I think it might be hotter than Okinawa." Said Shimazaki
"It's about the same." Said Mob
"No, I think it's hotter. I sense these things better than you can." Said Shimazaki
"So do you want to get some ice cream then?" asked Mob
"Of course….but only if it makes you happy. Just…what makes you happy? I mean I know what you like but you've been all…mopey since before we got here. I mean you were mopey in Okinawa too but I just figured you were recovering." Said Shimazaki
"I…I'm not sure. It just feels like I'm sad all the time…and I know that you said that it was dumb to be sad-" said Mob
"I never said that it was dumb, I just said that it didn't make sense. If you're still moping about your Dad then…stop, I guess? I mean if I were you I'd be getting ready to dance on that bastard's grave." Said Shimazaki
"Don't dance on graves, the spirits don't like that." Said Mob
"That's the point." Said Shimazaki
"Oh…but I don't want to do that anyway. I just want…I just want my Dad to like me again. My Dad isn't like your Dad. Your dad wanted to drown you in a bucket when you were born and he locked you in your room until you were five-" said Mob
"I know." Said Shimazaki. He didn't need a recap of his life, he'd lived it. He'd already lived it and now it was done and he never had to go back. He was never going to be that person again and…and what had happened to the ice cream idea? He wasn't hungry, at all, but you didn't have to be to eat ice cream…not that eating your feelings was smart either…but eating your feelings was better than feeling them.
"And also he left you in the woods to die and sprayed you with a hose and then beat you with a belt-" said Mob
"I remember." Said Shimazaki through gritted teeth. He bounced one leg against the other. He had to stay here…he wanted to go. He had to go but then that would have been stupid…she'd feel abandoned if he teleported away and he loved her. When you loved someone you didn't abandon them…even if the girl you loved second most in the world wouldn't shut up about things that you had spent the past however long of your life trying to avoid thinking about.
"Also he shot your mom and-" said Mob. She would have kept going if he hadn't put his hand over her mouth…he tasted like fountain water. She didn't know why he'd done this to her. He needed to know that his Dad was nothing like her Dad. His Dad had hated him. Her dad…Dad hadn't hated her until now….and that wasn't as bad. Also he hadn't done anything that came close to being as bad as what Shimazaki's Dad did to him. Dad had never locked her in a room and made her pee in a bucket or shot her mom or left her in the woods to die or any of the other horrible things that Shimazaki's dad had done to him.
Dad was mean but…but he wasn't a monster.
"Mob, I love you, but right now this is the last thing I want to talk about." Said Shimazaki as he took his hand off of her mouth. He was sticky, he rubbed his hand on his pants. Probably some of her lip stuff, or goo from her churro…he licked his hand. Lip stuff, strawberry flavored. Maybe he should have kissed her, then, to shut her up…but that was how you got kicked out of the happiest place on Earth. He knew the looks he was getting, and people in this country were a lot more likely to try and fight you when they found out you were dating a thirteen year old. He couldn't wait until she was old enough that the world got off of his back.
"Sorry….I didn't mean to make you feel bad." Said Mob
"No, it's fine, I'm fine. Everything's fine…with me. What's wrong with you?" asked Shimazaki
"Um…a lot of things, I guess?" asked Mob
"No, no, that came out wrong. I mean what have you been moping about? Besides your Dad, fuck that guy, and I stand by what I said. Ok, he may not have been as much of a bastard as my dad was but your dad has done some pretty fucked up shit…fucked up shit that you don't want to know about…also he's been hitting you and Sho for your whole lives. Yeah, let's talk about that." Said Shimazaki
"Ryou…talking about that doesn't make me feel better…actually it makes me feel worse…" said Mob. She didn't want to remember what things used to be like when she had been little. How Dad used to be much angrier at her and Sho…it had been especially bad after Mom had left. Maybe he had just been upset and took it out on them….that wasn't nice…but that was just how Dad's were. She was glad that Shoko wasn't going to have a Dad, if she ever had Shoko, since Dad's were the mean ones. Moms never hit you or yelled at you, they just ran away from home when they stopped loving you. That was better, in Mob's opinion, than telling your kids that you didn't love them anymore.
Not that she would ever have said anything like that to Shoko.
No, she would never have stopped loving Shoko and on the off chance that she did, like if she got brain worms or amnesia or someone mind controlled her, then she never would have said anything. She wouldn't have left, either, she would have just kept on pretending for Shoko's benefit. She never would left…if she could avoid it…but none of those things were ever going to happen. One day, hopefully soon, though maybe not soon since she didn't want Shimazaki to be Shoko's dad, but if she met another boy then…well she didn't have to be in love with him, she just had to have Shoko. One day soon she'd be one of the moms that kept on passing her by, one of the moms with a happy baby in a stroller or a happy little kid….her kid would be happy. All of them, she wasn't going to stop at one. People in this country had big families. She wanted a big one, too. At least six kids, three girls and three boys, and she would make sure that they had all the love and milk and happiness and churros and ice cream in the world. Everyone else would love them, all of her friends, even Minegishi who was very much against this idea. She knew that when the day came everything would be perfect…
She just wished that the day would hurry up and come faster.
"Fuck…sorry. You want a hit off my pen? If I can ever find it…should have worn my jacket." asked Shimazaki as he felt around his pants pockets.
"We shouldn't smoke here, I mean I don't want us to get kicked out." Said Mob
"That'd piss you off pretty bad, huh? I mean this is your happy place…right?" asked Shimazaki. Normally he wouldn't have cared but Mob had been down for a while and this was like a shrine or a temple for her. Since he'd met her she'd gone on and on about this place. They'd even gone to this one before, back when he had still been figuring out how he felt about her. Coke made this place better, coke and Mukai who always acted like she was coked up or drunk or high, or even Sho….but younger, less….like this Sho.
"I…I don't know. Maybe I don't have one. I mean wherever I go my brain is going to follow and my feelings live in my brain and…and I mean I like being here. I just miss…Sho, I guess, and Mukai…and Minegishi, and everyone else…even my Dad…but you're right, he's mean to me…but I guess a big part of me just wants him to love me again." said Mob
"I used to feel the same way when I was your age. I think it has to do with psychology or something, like when you're a kid you want your parents to love you because you're dependent or whatever. I didn't see my dad for the bastard he was until I was almost your age and then when I did…well I didn't need him anymore and you know what I did next." Said Shimazaki
"You didn't save him, that's all." said Mob. It was very important to get the details of what happened right otherwise Shimazaki would get upset, and the last thing she wanted to do was make him upset. She was already a bad person, it felt like, she didn't want to make it worse.
"Exactly. See, you see the difference…Toshi doesn't…but they're Toshi. Toshi looks at the world kind of like…I don't know, not like you do." Said Shimazaki
"Minegishi is tired all the time, that's all, and also a lot of things make them mad…like me." Said Mob
"Mob, either shut your mouth or stuff that churro in it. Toshi's not mad at you. The only person who's mad at you is your dad and, honestly, Suzuki can do suck a dick-" said Shimazaki
"Ryou! That's so gross!" said Mob. She never…why would…she didn't need to think about that! Dad didn't….people didn't….well they did but…well she hadn't but people must have and…and this whole thing was just so…so….
She took a bite out of her churro. It didn't help. It tasted like fountain water.
"Well that explains why you won't…never mind. It's nothing, you dad just sucks as a human being and I don't know why you don't just drop him. I mean it's not like you need him. I can hear your aura, you're just as strong as he is, and people like you better too. If you wanted to then you could just take Claw right out from under him." said Shimazaki. If anyone from Claw heard him speaking like this, pretty much telling Mob that treason was a viable solution to her problems, then he was dead….but luckily they were the only real espers around. He heard some gifted normal people but that was it. Mob would have protected him anyway. She was nice like that. If anyone deserved to run this crazy house it was Mob….and he didn't just think that because he was in love with her.
"Shima-Ryou, that's…you can't say things like that and…and I would never have done that to my Dad. He worked hard for his entire life to make Claw what it is and…and the world is going to be a better once he runs it. I mean he's not nice…but one day he'll get old and Sho can run the world. Sho's a lot nicer than Dad and a lot smarter too, about people, and…and he's going to do a good job. Him and then his son and then his son's son." Said Mob
"Uh-huh, and what about you? I mean I love Sho but I wouldn't trust him to run a bath…didn't he actually flood the bathroom once?" asked Shimazaki
"…he wanted to see if the room would turn into a pool…because Mukai wanted to go swimming." Said Mob
"See? He can't be trusted to run a bath. You're just as powerful as your dad, more powerful than your brother, so really you should be the one in charge. You and then your kid and then your kid's kid and so on and so forth." Said Shimazaki. He wouldn't have minded Mob being the supreme ruler of the Earth. Actually it would have been pretty great. Just getting stoned all day, coke at night, just doing whatever you wanted whenever you wanted. Partying all the time. Sho was a great kid but there was too much of his dad in him, he was too high strung, not like Mob. Sure she orbited that dark emotional place but she always tried to pull herself out of it, she didn't let it trap her like Sho let the dark place trap him, and she liked to party…also Sho was incredibly gay so Shimazaki really doubted that he was going to be fathering any children for the Suzuki dynasty anytime soon.
"I…I can't, I'm a girl. My kids won't be Suzuki's." said Mob. Dad had always said that. Girls couldn't ever inherit the world because they got married and their kids were whatever the dad was…but Mob….she wasn't going to get married. She didn't see the point. Why would she have wanted to have a husband if she had to worry about him leaving her and hitting their kids? So then…so then would her kids be Suzuki's?
"You know, I never got that. Seeing as how you actually have the baby it would make more sense to go through the mother's line. I mean we can be one hundred percent sure it's yours." Said Shimazaki
"Um…well it's not like we're going to have a baby so it doesn't matter." said Mob
"Well yeah, not us, but you've been talking about having a baby for a while now. I don't see why you don't just go and get knocked up already." Said Shimazaki
"I….don't get it." said Mob. He was the only person she was doing this with, the only person she wanted to be doing this with, so where else was Shoko supposed to come from?
"Go fuck someone else, I don't care." Said Shimazaki with a wave of his hand. He really didn't care what Mob did just so long as she didn't leave him…and he would examine that very possessive thought later. He was supposed to be better than this…
"But-but-but I can't! That would be…I couldn't ever do that to you." Said Mob. The water in the fountain began to rise, she shoved it down before anyone noticed. She needed….she needed to calm down. Shimazaki just….he just sort of said things sometimes, that was all. He just…she wasn't going to do anything like that, not to him, and he knew it. It felt good with him, and she trusted him, but she didn't know if she could trust anyone else not to be mean to her afterwards or break her heart…or even to do more than stab her with it for five seconds and then fall asleep.
"I just said I didn't care. Go for it, Mob, it's fine. Honestly I'm surprised you haven't. You get checked out all the time, I can tell, and frankly you've got it going on as I have to often and eloquently stated. You could have any guy you wanted…but make sure he's clean first. Fuck, we didn't talk about this yet. Ok, fuck whoever you want but don't bring anything back to…well we're always safe, and you're trying to have a kid so maybe we shouldn't be rolling the dice on how well I can pull out-" said Shimazaki
"Ryou! I-I don't…I would never do that to you! I mean I don't want to get sick and…and I don't know if I can trust someone else to and….and I know you would never hurt me and…and it's just…I don't want to do that with anyone else! I mean I want Shoko but…I don't know. I really want to be Shoko or Shigeo's mom and…and I don't want them to have a dad. I mean everyone is going to love them so they don't one and all dad's do is yell at you and hit you-" said Mob
"Hey, not every dad is your dad or my dad. I am never going to treat my hypothetical, probably not going to exist, kid the way my dad treated me and if any guy tries to hurt your kid then he's dead before he hits the ground. The guy, I mean, not your kid. I don't kill kids." Said Shimazaki
"I didn't think that you did and…um…I still don't know if can ever trust someone else…like how I trust you and…um….it would make me happy but….but I don't know." Said Mob as she played with her braid. Shoko and Shigeo had always been thoughts, ideas, just…imaginary kids. Even when she had thought that they might have been real it hadn't felt…this real. Maybe because now she was thinking about some other boy…there were so many boys in the world…and if she had wanted to then she could have done…all the things with them. She looked at her reflection in the water. She didn't think she was pretty but Shimazaki thought that she was and he was a boy…so did that mean that she wanted boys to think that she was pretty?
Did she want that?
There were lots of boys around and any one of them could have thought that she was pretty. There were boys her age and boys Shimazaki's age around too. She didn't know if any of them were looking at her, they were probably looking at Shimazaki since his tattoos were showing, and…and even if they were it wasn't like Mob was ever going to do something like that with a stranger. Even if…well it might have been less weird than having Shimazaki as a boyfriend…but still pretty weird.
She was getting tired of weird things.
"Hey, do whatever makes you happy. You want a kid, have one, and if you don't then don't, but come on and get happy already. This is the happiest place on Earth after all, I figured it would have been your happy place." Said Shimazaki
"I…think it used to be but…but I want you to be happy too. We can go to your happy place next." Said Mob. She didn't think that going to a place would just make her happy all of a sudden but that didn't mean that he had to be sad too.
"I don't think I have one. My happy place is wherever Toshi is…and you are, too. Also wherever there's something to do." Said Shimazaki. As long as he was moving, or doing something, then he was happy. As long as he was around the people he loved then he was happy. He really wasn't a complicated guy, not like Mob…well not the guy part but she was incredibly complicated. Just trying to make her smile was like trying to solve the world's most complicated Rubik's Cube…without the little pieces of fabric to tell him what side went with what. Even now her aura was all…like that. She was thinking even though there was nothing to think about. As long as they were together, and somewhere fun, then he was happy…
Why did she have to go and make everything so complicated all the time?
"But what about Penny Lane?" asked Mob. Shimazaki had been staring at her, she had to come up with something, and that was the best that she could think of. Where he would have wanted to go…where his happy place would have been. That had been his favorite song when he had been little and it had to have been a real place. Why would the Beatles have lied to people like that if it wasn't? They had been good people, Ryou said so.
"In Penny Lane, there is a barber showing photographs of every head he's had the pleasure to know and all the people that come and go, stop and say hello….you want the next verse?" asked Shimazaki
"No, I didn't mean sing it, I mean we could go there. I mean when we took acid when I was a kid you talked about how you wanted to go there so…so we can go." Said Mob
"It's in Liverpool and I know how you feel about going back to England." Said Shimazaki
"Liverpool is far from London, right?" asked Mob. She really didn't want to run into Emmy. If she did then she would have had to apologize for Sho…and she didn't know if she could. Sho had told her to stay out of his love life and also…also she didn't think that what Sho had done was all the way….forgivable. She knew how much it hurt to be…to have someone you loved and who you thought loved you back…to have them hurt you like that. Mob loved Sho, he was the best little brother in the world, but…but sometimes he did bad things….things that she couldn't make excuses for.
"I have no idea, maps really aren't my thing." Said Shimazaki
"Oh, right…um…it doesn't matter if it's near or far, we can still go." Said Mob. Right, he couldn't…yeah. Ok then, it looked like they were going…Liverpool sounded like it was far from London and if not…if she saw Emmy then Shimazaki could just teleport them away.
"Mob…if I wasn't pretty sure we'd get kicked out I would kiss you right now…but since people in this country take the whole pear tree crushing a begonia thing seriously how about I just finish that churro for you and we get some ice cream and then ride the teacups until we throw up?" asked Shimazaki. She was…she was amazing and he was fifty percent more into her right now. Fuck this country, people were so confrontational here. If he wanted to kiss his girlfriend in the happiest place on Earth then he should have been able to…well he could but then she would have been pissed since she loved Disney World….but still! This was the happiest place on Earth and she had made him happy so he deserved to share his happiness with her.
"Um…sure, but without the throwing up….but why is the per tree crushing a begonia? Wouldn't it make more sense to plant the flowers away from the tree? So they had more sunlight?" asked Mob. She didn't get it…maybe this was more of a question for Minegishi….if they ever wanted to speak to her again.
"Mob…I fucking love you." Said Shimazaki. Ok, so she wasn't an expert on Chinese proverbs or wherever they had gotten the title for that movie from. He didn't care, Toshi was the book guy in their relationship anyway. Mob was the good feelings and consideration guy. He kissed his hand and then pressed it to her mouth. He got looks…but whatever, he was in love with her and he didn't care who knew!
"I…I want an ice cream." Said Mob as he pulled his hand away. She passed him her churro, she didn't want it anymore, and got up. Her feet still hurt and she wasn't really hungry but she didn't want…she didn't want to be there. She didn't want him to kiss her or…or anything else that made her feel weird. She wished that she didn't have to follow so many rules here. She needed a drink and she needed her pen, or Shimazaki's since his tasted like grapes, and she needed…she needed…she didn't know what else she needed. To be happy? She was…this had always been her happy place but she didn't…maybe she was too old or….or maybe it was just more fun with Sho and Mukai….or maybe it would have been happier with Shoko and Shigeo….if they were ever born.
Of course they would have been happy, this was the happiest place on Earth after all…for everyone but Mob.