The Life he Left Behind
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Sam left the SGC and headed over to Janet's house. As soon as Janet opened the door, Sam burst into tears. "He knows," she cried.
Janet, immediately worried that it was somehow her fault, asked, "how?"
"My dad showed up while Jack was on base. He went off on him. Told him practically everything in one breath."
"Oh, Sam, I'm so sorry," Janet told her friend, giving her a comforting hug. "What are you going to do?"
"I don't know. Oh God, Janet, you should have seen the way he looked at me. He's never looked at me with hate in his eyes. He looked at me like he looks at Maybourne or Kinsey."
"Oh, sweetie, I'm sure it wasn't that bad…"
"Janet, he took off in the middle of my explanation. As soon as he found out who Chloe was, he just left. He's never going to forgive me. I shouldn't have kept this from him, Jan."
"Sam, you did what you thought was best for everyone. You have to stop beating yourself up over this. No matter what you think, you are a great mom and a great person. Colonel O'Neill will realize that."
Sam wiped the tears off her face and shrugged. "I should be complaining to Thor. He's the one who beamed him to the SGC. What was that little guy thinking?"
Janet laughed. "Do you want to stay here for awhile?"
"No, I just want to go home. I'm sure the twins are ready to get home, too."
"Okay," Janet said and then turned and called the kids.
Sam helped her babies put their shoes and jackets back on and then headed out the door. Tonight was going to be one of those nights where she cried herself to sleep. She knew it already, and in a strange way, was actually looking forward to it.
The drive home was quick with Sam lost in her own thoughts. She pulled in the drive way and helped the toddlers out of the car. Opening the front door, Sam ushered the babies in and locked the door behind her.
Sam, just wanting to curl up in her bed for her awaiting cry, bathed the twins and then settled them down in their beds for the night. After having to read three different stories before finally calling it quits, She kissed the twins, tucked them in and walked out of their room, shutting their light off at the door. "Sweet dreams," she said as she closed their door so it was only open a crack.
Heading to her room, Sam was stopped in her tracks by a knock on the door. Assuming it was her dad, she walked over and opened the door to let him in. Instead of her dad, Jack O'Neill was standing on her doorstep.
"Hi," he said softly to her.
"Hi," she answered, still surprised he was there. "Uh, what are you doing here?"
"Sorry. I um, talked with your dad and Daniel and General Hammond. Your dad thought I should come over and talk to you. He said to tell you he would stay on base tonight and come over first thing in the morning. Is that okay?"
"Uh, yeah. Come in," she said, moving out of the way to allow him entrance. Shutting the door, she followed him down the short breezeway to the living room. "Um, would you like something to drink?" she asked him nervously.
"No. No thanks, Carter," he said, sounding just as nervous.
"Mommy! Jonthon won't stop singing the BINGO song!" came a toddler-sized yell just as blonde curls came into sight.
Chloe stopped when she saw Jack in her house. "Hello, Jack," she said a few seconds later.
"Hi, Chloe. How are you?" Jack asked, kneeling down to allow the girl to approach.
"I'm good. Are you finally home?" she asked him, after walking over to him and wrapping her arms around his neck.
He wrapped his arm around her and lifted her up. "You know, you don't have to call me Jack," he said to her, expertly avoiding her question.
"You want me to call you daddy?" she asked him.
"I would love for you to call me daddy," Jack told her.
Tears were rolling silently down Sam's cheeks at the precious sight of her daughter with her daddy.
"You want to come see Jonthon. He was mad when he didn't get to see you, today," Chloe told him.
"Sure, let's go see Jonathon," Jack said, carrying the girl down the hallway.
Sam locked herself in the bathroom and cried her eyes out. The overwhelming relief of Jack finally meeting his children, too much for her to take.
Jack carried Chloe to their bedroom, Chloe directing Jack where to go. "Jonthon, daddy's here," she yelled when Jack pushed the door open.
Jonathon sat up in bed and stared at Jack.
"Hi, Jonathon. How are you?" Jack asked, a little nervous about meeting his son for the first time. 'Where the heck did Carter go?'
"Hi," Jonathon said very quietly. The outgoing boy being shy for the first time ever.
Jack carried Chloe over to Jonathon's bed and sat them both down. "Do you know who I am, Jonathon?" Jack asked him in a tender voice.
"Daddy?"
Jack smiled. "Yes, I'm your daddy. I'm sorry I've been away from you for so long."
"S'okay. Are you gonna leave again?" Jonathon asked him, his big, blue eyes staring up at his father.
Jack's heart melted at the sight before him. Carter's eyes on his little boy who looked remarkably similar to Charlie. "No, Jonathon, I'm not going anywhere."
Jonathon's face broke out into a huge smile. "Good," he said as he crawled to the end of the bed and pulled a book off the shelf. "Then, you can read!" He placed the book in Jack's hand and then crawled onto his lap with Chloe.
Jack grinned. Jacob, Hammond and Daniel were right, this little boy was practically a carbon copy of himself. Jack opened the book and started to read.
An hour and six books later, the twins finally fell asleep on him. Using as many fancy maneuvers as he could, he managed to get them both in their own beds and tucked back in before shutting off the light and leaving the room.
Leaving the door open a crack, he started down the hallway to find Carter when some pictures on the wall caught his eye. There were several portrait shots of the twins hanging on the wall, but in the middle of the pictures was a picture of himself in his dress blues, and right below, a school picture of Charlie. Looking at the picture, Jack realized it was the one from his locker.
Just then, Sam came up behind him and saw what he was looking at. "When I came back from maternity leave, General Hammond asked me to clean out your locker. When you left, you never took any of your personal stuff. Charlie's picture was hanging on the door. I decided to keep it so the twins would know about their big brother. The rest of your stuff, including your shoebox is in my bedroom closet. I never went through it. I know it's your personal stuff."
"Thank you," Jack said in a sincere voice as he turned around to face her.
"Uh, I'll go get it all," she stuttered out and hurriedly walked to her room.
Jack continued to survey Sam's house while she was gone. There were photographs everywhere. Pictures with her and the kids, her dad and the kids, Hammond and the kids. Not to mention the countless photographs of Daniel, Teal'c, Cassie and Janet with the twins. He grinned at what seemed to be a recent picture. Daniel was standing with Jonathon, both their chests were puffed out with their hands on their hips, Jonathon was wearing 'Superman' pajamas.
As funny as that picture was, the next picture he saw was Chloe dressed up in a pretty pink dress, a small child-sized table and two very small chairs, with Chloe in one chair and Teal'c in the other. Chloe appeared to be pouring Teal'c a cup of tea. As ridiculous as the huge jaffa looked sitting at the tiny table in the tiny chair, what made Jack laugh out loud was the bright red flowery bonnet sitting atop Teal'c's large head.
Sam, once again, came up behind Jack as he looked at the pictures. "You wouldn't believe how much of a giant teddy bear Teal'c is with those two."
Jack turned around. "I can't believe he actually wore that hat," Jack laughed.
"Oh, that's nothing, sir. You should see some of the other things they've talked Teal'c into. They take the 'terrible two's' to a whole new level."
Jack laughed. "My mom used to say the same about me."
Sam smiled. "Now that, I believe. Janet's convinced that Jonathon received all of your genes."
"Not all of them, he has your eyes," Jack replied, warmly.
Sam grinned. "Yeah, Jonathon has mine and Chloe has yours. Every time she looks up at me with those dark brown eyes, I think of you."
Jack stared at her, so many emotions running through his body.
Once Sam realized what she just said to Jack, she was completely embarrassed and decided to change the subject. "Um, sir, you're welcome to stay here tonight. The couch is a sleeper sofa. That's where my dad sleeps when he's here."
Jack looked over at the couch and then back at Sam. "Yeah, that sounds good," he told her.
Sam rushed off to get clean linens and pillows for Jack while he walked over and pulled out the couch. A few minutes later, Sam returned and dressed the sleeper sofa.
Jack sat on the edge of the bed while Sam sorted through one of the cabinets in the living room. When she finally turned around, Jack noticed she had several videos and a couple photo albums in her hands. "These are all your copies. Every time we taped something, I made an extra copy for you. The same with the pictures. I thought, once you knew, uh…..you'd want to see them," Sam told him, a little embarrassed.
Jack took the pile from her. "Thank you," he said, keeping eye contact.
"Your welcome," Sam told him, and then turned her head away from his intense stare.
"Can we watch some now?" Jack asked.
"Uh, yeah, that's fine. They're yours, you can watch them whenever you want."
"Will you watch them with me?" Jack asked her.
Sam looked surprised. "Oh, ah, sure. Which one do you want to watch first?"
Jack looked through the pile. "Which one was made first?"
Sam reached down and grabbed one of the tapes. "This one, but, it's me pregnant and childbirth. You might not want to watch it.."
"You taped the delivery?" Jack asked, incredulously.
"Well, not me personally. I was a little busy at the time." Sam grinned. "Daniel did."
DANIEL taped your delivery!" Jack squawked. "Isn't that a little personal for Danny-boy?"
Sam laughed. "Trust me, he was completely engrossed with the marvel of nature taking it's course. I'm pretty sure he completely forgot it was even me at the other end."
Jack laughed and shook his head. "Let's watch it anyways…..I mean, if you don't mind."
"Uh, no. It's okay, we can watch it. Just no jokes about how fat I am," Sam said, mock-glaring at him.
Jack smirked while Sam put in the tape.
Jack tried really hard not to laugh as a very pregnant Sam glared into the screen and yelled at Daniel to get the 'damn thing away from her'. A few minutes later, Sam was once again, yelling at Daniel to leave her alone. There was a baby shower on the tape, with a very huge Sam sitting uncomfortably in a chair trying to open up all the presents in front of her.
The next frame was Sam's face bright red, as she screamed at Daniel to 'get the camera out of here' as Janet and Teal'c walked her down the SGC corridor to a private room next to the infirmary. "But, Sam, we have to tape the births. Jack would want to see it," Daniel's voice was heard off-screen, whining.
Jack looked over at Sam sitting in her chair. He could tell she was a bit nervous about him seeing the next part of the tape. Jack's attention was brought back to the TV by Sam's scream. Teal'c was holding Sam's hand, trying to soothe her as her body was bombarded by what looked like a very painful contraction. "Teal'c, if I don't make it through this, promise me you'll find Col. O'Neill and kill him for me," Sam cried as sweat ran down her face and soaked her hair.
"Indeed, MajorCarter, it will be my honor to avenge you," Teal'c replied.
Jack looked over at Sam in her chair. Her face was bright red in embarrassment at what she had said during that intense time.
Sam had been right when she said Daniel seemed to forget she was the one giving birth. He darted the camera all around, commentating on what was going on with her body. When the first baby's head emerged, Daniel had the camera zoomed in so close, Jack could see the texture of the baby's hair.
Jack couldn't help but notice that certain parts of Sam's anatomy were on full display before the camera. Trying to respect Sam by not looking, but ultimately failing, as his eyes wandered to those certain parts more than once during the births, Jack realized that his cheeks were quite warm. Stealing a glance over at Carter, he nervously wondered if she knew he had been checking her out.
By the end of the tape, Sam and Teal'c were both holding a baby in their arms. Sam had tears rolling down her face in happiness. In the background, Jack could just barely make out Hammond's voice…."Col. O'Neill, I'm ordering you to return to this base…………….damn it, son, don't do this!……….Jack, just come home. Major Carter needs you right now………Colonel……" His voice faded off.
Daniel's camera was still pointing at Sam and Jack saw the pained look on her face as she caught Hammond's side of the conversation. Feeling like a complete asshole, Jack got up and shut off the TV. "Carter, I'm sorry for the way I acted…"
"Sir, you already apologized," Sam said, cutting him off.
Jack looked at her, regret clearly written across his face. "I could apologize to you for the rest of my life and it wouldn't be enough, Carter."
Sam looked at him, trying to keep the tears pricking at the back of her eyes to stay there. "Once is enough. You didn't know. Now you do. We'll figure out the rest in time, sir."
"Yeah," Jack said quietly, lowering his head.
Sam stood up out of the chair and stretched. "Do you need anything before I head to bed?" she asked.
"No, I'm good, thanks," he told her.
"Okay. Good night," she said, and started walking to her bedroom.
"Night, Sam," Jack replied before laying down on the sleeper sofa.
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