Chapter 4: Things Were Simpler Then

When Draco and Dagmar retreated back upstairs later in the evening, Narcissa remained with Lucius and Wes in the great room. Wes kept looking around Malfoy Manor as if trying to find something. He'd been here often enough when it was still a regular home, but certainly not like this. It was hard to help him feel more comfortable with so many eyes on them.

At least they didn't need Aurors in their bedrooms. It still wasn't ideal to slink away for some privacy. It might look suspicious until the three of them were able to go on the record with Madam Bones.

Midnight approached when Narcissa's eyes started to get heavy. Lucius and Wes looked ready to turn in too, especially once the tea ran dry.

"Well?" Narcissa eventually said. "It's been a long enough day, I think."

Wes yawned. "Where should I put my cup?"

"The house elves will take care of it," Lucius told him.

"It feels weird to leave things to them again." Narcissa stood. "Well, not so much for me. I didn't miss clean-up on the island when the Dark Lord took me off it."

"I'm not going to miss it," Lucius replied, making Wes laugh.

Narcissa led them up the dining room stairs. When they reached the top, Narcissa couldn't help but slow a little. Draco's bedroom door had to remain open, and the Dark Lord's shadow-Auror had left a torch going above the desk so that he could read through his shift.

The kids slept soundly in the minimal light that reached Draco's bed. They weren't as tightly cuddled as the last time Narcissa passed the room by, but still close. Draco's back was to the door. Dagmar's was too, with her backside pressed flush against Draco. Draco's arm was around her middle and his face turned upward to the ceiling. His expression fell slack in sleep, making him look in the moment like nothing heavy could have possibly afflicted him lately.

Narcissa, Lucius, and Wes reached the end of the hallway.

"See you in the morning, then?" Wes bid them.

"I'll come see you off," Narcissa said with a squeeze of Lucius' hand.

Lucius headed into the master, and Narcissa followed Wes into his suite. Although Lucius was completely aware of everything that happened behind Wes' door when Narcissa was with him, they hadn't much graduated to the point of showing affection in front of the other. It hadn't been a problem on the island because the three of them had pointedly avoided it in shared areas other than the odd grazing touch.

Wes too seemed to relax when they were alone. He sighed contentedly when Narcissa kissed him.

She studied him afterward in the dim torchlight, hands on his elbows. "All right?"

"Think so," he said. "It's been a weird day, even if what came of it all as far as we're concerned was the best case scenario. I didn't much fancy a visit to Azkaban."

"Me neither." Narcissa gravitated closer. "Still. . .you're okay here? Do you feel enough at home?"

That made Wes hesitate. He considered it with pursed lips, eventually shrugging. "It's hard not to feel a bit like an outsider when all the rest of you here are your own family in some way. I wish I could've seen Theo today."

"I wish you could have too," Narcissa replied. "Madam Bones will be here tomorrow, so it would be the ideal time to ask if she has anything in the works on these Fidelius Charms. Something tells me Bella won't play fair. I hate to say it, but I understand why she's angry with me. I've no doubt she's going to do her best to punish me for undermining the Dark Lord."

Wes sighed. "Too bad."

Guilt trickled in on Narcissa. The Dark Lord wouldn't have had the idea to put Wes under the Fidelius Charm if the two of them hadn't been involved. Narcissa privately hoped that the situation would at least be helpful toward their impending seats before the Wizengamot. The Dark Lord wouldn't have done it if Wes hadn't been suspected as a potential defector. Narcissa had that sort of shield as well. Lucius unfortunately didn't, but Narcissa hoped that him being targeted by Bella in the Great Hall would work in his favour. He had subdued the Dark Lord down in the Chamber along with Hildegard and Snape. Like Madam Bones said earlier, that had to be worth something.

"We could at least ask if it's possible for you to share a messenger pair with Theo," Narcissa suggested. "The Aurors were fine with that little bit of post."

"It's worth asking." Wes perked a little. "I didn't even think about those. Still too new a thing, I guess."

"Mhm." Narcissa wrapped her arms loosely about Wes' neck. "I was also thinking earlier—not to change the subject or anything, it's just on my mind—that you, me, and Lucius are probably due for a sit-down on how exactly this will work now we're not on the island anymore."

"Yeah, I was thinking about that." Wes idly rubbed one of Narcissa's hips. "Being in you and Lucius' home, I feel like assuming anything is going to tread on boundaries. I'd really like to get you for the odd night, not just visits, but I don't feel like it's my place to ask."

"I thought about that too," Narcissa replied. "It's what's fair. The way Lucius and I left off here last might not necessarily complicate things, but I want to be considerate toward him. I slept in this room when our marriage was on the brink. Even if he's fine with our relationship, it might bring on some unwelcome feelings if I'm in here with the man I got involved with during our separation."

"Yeah."

"We'll all talk about it," Narcissa said again. "Lucius is allowed to have his feelings on the matter, but he's also going to have to take into account that things are different now. Our marriage isn't in the shambles that it was. Me sleeping somewhere else isn't a return to that."

"I think talking is going to be a good habit worth getting into, isn't it?" Wes asked. "It goes without saying that this is new for all of us. Even if you and Lucius had agreements before about people outside of your marriage, sex is pretty easy to sort out compared to a full-on relationship."

"Definitely." Narcissa pulled him closer for another kiss. "I'll bring up sleeping arrangements tonight if Lucius and I end up chatting before sleep. I'm pretty knackered."

Wes' arms tightened around Narcissa's middle. He smiled naturally enough to satisfy her that they were fine for now. "All right."

A snog helped. They hadn't been able to since they first arrived. Extended contact eased more of the tension out of Wes' shoulders, and Narcissa felt better too. She was very cognizant that Wes might feel slightly out of place in the house where Narcissa and Lucius lived out nearly twenty-five years of their marriage. Theo wasn't able to be a part of the household right now, so Wes was alone in that regard.

"Good night," Narcissa said with one more lingering kiss. "Sleep well. Might need it for tomorrow."

"You too."

Narcissa crossed the hallway with that. The master bedroom still felt a little strange to her. Having left it previously made it difficult to feel like the space was hers. It didn't help that so few of her things had returned from storage. The house elves had put them away while they all sat downstairs, which in a way made the large room feel even emptier. The closet was nearly bare when Narcissa glanced into it in passing. She didn't have any of her jewelry or trinkets. Even the Malfoy and Black family heirlooms were gone.

Lucius was still in the bathroom brushing his teeth. He slowed when Narcissa put her arms around his middle from behind. Smiling was a tad difficult with his mouth preoccupied, but Narcissa could see it in his eyes when she peered over his shoulder.

She left him to it so that she could go about her own routine. Some mint flavouring burned her sinuses when she snorted because Lucius groped her bum in passing. His playfulness had waned when Narcissa found him next in the bed.

"Is Wes settling in all right?" Lucius asked. "He seemed a little distant through the evening."

"He misses Theo," Narcissa replied. "Can't deny things feel different either, now that we're off the island."

"I expected as much."

"I suggested we all ought to talk more clearly about how exactly to navigate this." Narcissa felt a flurry of nerves, but she had to ask. "You're not rethinking anything, are you?"

"No." He raised an eyebrow. "Did I give that impression?"

Narcissa shook her head. "Just making sure we're all still in this together. I think he's a little insecure. There are a lot more Malfoys under this roof than Notts, especially if Dagmar counts."

"I've considered her our daughter-in-law since she and Draco first agreed to their arrangement," Lucius said. "So I suppose four on one is a little unfair. It's a shame the Dark Lord put Wes under a Fidelius Charm."

"That's what we thought. He didn't say as much, but I think he would've rathered seen Theo tonight than hang out with all of us. I suggested bringing up a messenger with Madam Bones tomorrow."

"Hopefully she has time to discuss something like that."

Narcissa's eyelids fluttered as Lucius ran a hand down her arm. She waited for him to extinguish the torches, then remembered with a weak snort that neither of them had magic for the time being. Narcissa resettled beside Lucius, rolling onto her back and running her fingers over his right forearm. The golden lines of Helka's ward runes were much nicer to the skin than the Dark Lord's mark.

"Tired?" Lucius asked.

"Yeah."

Lucius sounded hesitant, which compelled Narcissa to shift again. "Draco said he hadn't told you yet what happened down in the Chamber."

Narcissa slowly shook her head. "Was there something to say other than getting the Dark Lord under control?"

"I loath to tell you right before sleep, but I don't want to keep it from you either. You need to just keep in mind that all was fine in the end, though I'll be the first to admit it is easy to dwell over." Lucius paused, increasing the anxiety that settled in Narcissa's stomach. "That said, the Dark Lord tried to kill Draco."

"He did?" Narcissa's nerves went raw and cold.

"With the Killing Curse. I didn't see, but that's what Draco said. It happened right before Hildegard, Severus, and I found them." Lucius inhaled a rattly sigh. "He deflected it."

"You can't deflect a Killing Curse."

"Draco said he did."

"Well, maybe the Dark Lord didn't really mean to," Narcissa said quickly, her gaze darting about. "He wouldn't do that, right? He can't have known yet that we weren't completely devoted."

"I don't know, Narcissa. I believed Draco because the three boys were completely terrified. The room reeked of death, although they all mentioned something wrong with their wands when we returned back up to the castle. Draco's wand could've been the culprit of that. Hawthorn, and all."

"So you think it was something to do with that, not the Dark Lord?" Narcissa's heart pounded. "He can't have really intended to kill our son. Not after everything we did."

Lucius worked his lips, ending briefly in a press. "We heard an explosion when we were approaching the Chamber. When we arrived, Draco was standing between the Dark Lord and Potter. There was a statue of Salazar Slytherin at the other end of the room. The head was destroyed, and the rubble still settling below."

But. . .everything we did," Narcissa repeated. "The Dark Lord can't have wanted Harry Potter so badly that he would do that to us. Right? Draco was supposed to be safe. The Dark Lord believed we were devoted, otherwise he would've treated us like Kingsley on the island. Draco's pureblooded. He should've been safe."

"Should've been, yes."

It felt to Narcissa like a deep gash had been run along her chest. With bated breath, she waited to see if it would bleed, sting, or both. The air of her lungs was stuck behind it. Heat flowered in her cheeks. She still couldn't tell if it was anger or despair.

"Everything we did," Narcissa tried again, her voice ringing hollow. "All the help, the care. . .I took this bloody mark in part to ensure that Draco would never be harmed. And you're telling me that none of it mattered? The Dark Lord trusted us, he liked us, and he still would've killed our only son?"

"I want to say it can't be true."

"But you can't."

"Something makes me hesitate."

"He is so very lucky he's hiding inside Dagmar right now." Narcissa's voice trembled. "Otherwise I'd be going into that room and killing him. Magic be damned."

"I thought about that as well. He can't have expected he'd get away with it. But maybe he would have if there hadn't been witnesses. The Dark Lord would have made quick work of Potter. I don't think I would have believed Luca over the Dark Lord. It's disturbing to think he could have gotten away with it."

Narcissa thought she might be sick. "You could have carried Draco's body out of there. We could've lost him. He could've died today."

"Could have. Believe me when I say I know how difficult it is, but you just need to remember how things actually went. The Dark Lord is captured. Draco is asleep in the next room. He's safe, happy, and alive."

"He's curled up around the Dark Lord." Narcissa's vision blurred. "He's sleeping next to him."

"He's sleeping next to Dagmar. It's crucial to keep them separate, even if they're sharing a body. Never forget that the Dark Lord is an intruder."

Narcissa untangled herself from Lucius and rushed to slip off the bed. She barely made it to the toilet before retching. The first heave came empty, but the second managed in squeezing up all the tea she'd drank before bed. As she gasped for breath and scrunched her face, some fluid from her burning eyes hit the toilet water like rain drops.

Her hair was pulled back and away.

"Lucius," Narcissa managed. Her voice had turned raspy. "We could've had a hand in it."

"I know."

Narcissa braced herself that she might bring more up. While she leaned on the seat, Lucius reached up to flush the toilet.

"How could we have lived with ourselves?" Narcissa asked.

Lucius fell quiet then. Narcissa didn't know what answer she expected. She couldn't see any form of a life beyond today for herself if every day, every waking moment, she had to know that her actions had indirectly killed her child.

She settled into a quaking tremble.

"Why don't we go back to the bed?" Lucius suggested. "Here, rinse your mouth out."

He helped her up to the sink. Narcissa had to hold herself against the counter while Lucius readied her some cleansing potion. She almost gagged again to deal with liquid in her mouth, but managed to spit it out without incident. Lucius' arm remained around her middle as they returned to the bedroom. Narcissa felt like a weight on the bed.

"I just can't think it, Lucius," Narcissa said. "I can't think that he could've died."

"Other than fearing what could've been, you don't have to." Lucius laid down as well. "What happened is not okay, but things turned out all right. Well—as close to that as is possible. We talk to the Ministry tomorrow. We give them all that we can to ensure that the Dark Lord's defeat this time isn't just a mere disappearance. He will die, this time."

"Or rot. I can't be fussed to care which."

"Me neither."

Narcissa was torn on that. With death, the Dark Lord was gone. There was no chance of him rallying himself again. However, death for him was the easy way out. He deserved to suffer the same way so many other people had at his hands. He should be the one to wake up everyday and revisit the same reminder that he'd in some way failed.

Lucius had to let Narcissa go when she made again to slip off the bed. "Not completely done?"

"No, I'm done tossing," Narcissa replied. "I'll be right back."

She slipped out of the bedroom and snuck back down the hall. Narcissa needed to see Draco again, just to be completely sure he was all right. Some of the turmoil roiling about inside her hushed when she leaned against the door frame. The kids hadn't shifted since she last walked by, although Draco had turned his face back toward Dagmar. If Narcissa watched hard enough in the dim light, she could see Draco's shoulder move as he breathed. He inhaled deeply at one turn, sighing on exhale.

Narcissa felt able to rein herself in to see him so at peace. She just hoped that she wouldn't be expected anymore to play nice with the Dark Lord whenever he emerged from his sulk. She didn't think she would be able to. Things used to be so much simpler. Even just a couple summers ago, Narcissa was content to think she'd managed to get Draco away from all this.

The night the Ramstads had returned from Nice, Hildegard visited the manor in the wee hours. Carpy had come up to the master to wake Narcissa. Hildegard had poked her head into Dagmar's room back home to check on her, only to find her missing. She wanted Narcissa to see if Dagmar had ended up sleeping here instead. Narcissa felt slightly apprehensive then to poke her head into Draco's room, just in case she saw something she shouldn't—or rather wouldn't.

Instead of body parts, Narcissa saw Draco and Dagmar holding hands while they slept. It was a sweetness Narcissa didn't really expect of Draco. She saw now where that brought him as a man. To think, all that love—all that happiness—could've been snuffed out so easily less than twenty-four hours ago.

Narcissa returned to bed properly exhausted. Lucius seemed the same, although was awake enough to ask that she was all right. Narcissa reckoned she would feel better come morning when she could actually interact with Draco again. She needed concrete proof that he was still here and hers.

Punctuated as her night was with unwelcome wakings, morning did eventually come. A shower perked Narcissa up. She looked forward to tea to take up the slack. Draco's bed was empty when Narcissa passed it by. There were hushed voices in the dining room.

"Good morning," she greeted Draco and Dagmar.

"Morning, Mum," Draco replied. "Sleep all right?"

"Meh." Narcissa bent down to kiss the top of his head. "You two?"

"Pretty all right, I think," Dagmar answered. "Better than I ever did on the island. It's so good to be home."

Because Narcissa stood behind the two of them, she didn't think Dagmar noticed her hesitate before squeezing her shoulder. She didn't want to fault Dagmar for things she couldn't control. It wasn't fair to conflate her with the Dark Lord.

Still, Narcissa felt like she needed to talk about what Lucius told her. She wanted to know Draco's side of it. Maybe Lucius was wrong about what happened.

"Could I have a word?" Narcissa asked Draco.

"Er, yeah." Draco swallowed a bit of toast.

Narcissa lingered back toward the dining room stairs as Draco stood, kissed Dagmar on the forehead, then packed his toast. He followed Narcissa down the short hallway leading toward the kitchen, turning left into Lucius' study. If they didn't have house elves, Narcissa suspected the empty room would reek of dust. It certainly didn't feel any hint of its old grandeur.

Draco rested his bum on the edge of the desk, one eyebrow rising as Narcissa closed the door. "Something we couldn't discuss in front of Dagmar?"

"It might be insensitive because I know this wouldn't have been her fault," Narcissa said. "Your father told me what happened down in the Chamber."

Draco's chewing turned more mechanical. "Oh."

"Is it true?" Narcissa asked. "He really tried to kill you?"

"He couldn't."

"Why not?"

Draco shrugged. "I deflected it. It hit like a train, but it didn't land."

Narcissa struggled with what to feel. She wanted to be angry, but Draco stood alive in front of her. Betrayed, but she'd already known that the Dark Lord was not somebody to put trust into. Sad, but she'd bloody well had enough of that in the last year and a half.

"How?" Narcissa tried again.

"I don't know, Mum."

"Why did he do it?"

"I wouldn't let him do Potter in." Draco took a nibble off his toast. "He told me to move aside, gave me some tripe about the only reason he was even giving me the option was because you and Father were upstairs. He made Dagmar wake up and try to convince me. That plan you had, Potter being there complicated it. Dagmar thought she was trying to convince me to take Luca to Hildegard. Voldemort just wouldn't return to everyone else with any extra baggage, as he called it."

Narcissa flinched. "Don't say his name."

"Why not?" It was Draco's turn to ask. "What's he going to do? Kill me?"

A flicker of anger came to Narcissa when amusement touched Draco's eyes. "It's really not funny. You shouldn't take the piss about that."

"What else is there to do? I'm not going to fall apart on his account over something that didn't happen. There's plenty else to worry about instead."

Narcissa chewed briefly on her bottom lip. "You're not worried about sharing a bed with Dagmar while he's still in there?"

"No," Draco answered right away. "There's always going to be an Auror on her until he's gone. Not like he can do anything."

"You don't need magic to hurt someone."

"What's he going to do? Casually choke me in my sleep? Bite my willy?"

Narcissa tsked. "He very well might if he comes to in a situation like that."

"Guess I'll keep my guard up." Draco swallowed his mouthful. "I'm not letting Voldemort have that sort of power over Dagmar's life. I also wouldn't leave her alone with him. I'll put up with his bollocks for her. What sort of future husband would I be if I didn't?"

Although that sentiment endeared Narcissa, it also sparked some guilt. It made him a better prospective husband than she'd made a wife in a trying spot.

Narcissa mirrored Draco's lean beside him, arms folded. "You fell back into thinking that way pretty easily, didn't you?"

"To be honest, I never fell out of it." Draco rested the top of his head on Narcissa's. He chewed, so his jaw worked against her. "Thanks for getting her home, Mum. It means more than I can ever say."

"I'd go through it all over again, for you." Narcissa linked their arms. "You're still my precious little boy, even if your father is right. You have grown up a lot. I noticed it in Bergen, but now it's very clear. You realize they're going to call you a hero, right?"

Draco's jaw slowed.

"You saved Harry Potter's life," Narcissa elaborated. "You saved a life at all, in a war. You are a hero."

"Ergh." Draco's nose was pinched when Narcissa looked up at him again. "Potter's going to be intolerable about it."

Narcissa laughed. "Let him be grateful. He ought to be, don't you think?"

"I guess." Draco shrugged. "Was that all you wanted to talk about?"

"Pretty much. I just didn't want to upset Dagmar if she feels bad about what happened."

"She does feel bad, but I'm trying to help her down from it. It wasn't her fault she has no control over Voldemort. Honestly, that he tried to use her might have something to do with why I was spared. If not to do with her specifically, then we at least killed enough time for Father and Hildegard to subdue him before he could try it again."

"Something."

Narcissa felt better having talked to Draco about it. She felt better after talking to him at all, really. It helped to reaffirm in her mind that Draco was here, he was alive, and he had grown up more nicely than Narcissa could have ever hoped to dream for.

She followed him out of the study. While they talked, Hildegard must have found Dagmar. The two of them chatted in Druidic in the dining room, which confused Narcissa slightly until she realized she was hearing a conversation between three people. Helka was there too, looking up along with Dagmar and Hildegard when she and Draco came in from the hallway. Narcissa realized then that while she had seen Helka arrive to do their ward runes, she never saw her leave.

"Good morning," Narcissa greeted her, although she wasn't sure Helka spoke much English.

"Morning," she carefully replied. Her tongue hinted of a roll on the R.

"It's all right if she eats here?" Hildegard asked. "She ended up staying the night. We accidentally fell asleep talking."

"I don't mind at all." Narcissa took a seat opposite the three of them plus Draco. "There's plenty of food to go around."

The table filled up a bit more once Lucius and Wes both finished getting ready for the day. Narcissa couldn't help but double-glance at both of them. Being away from home and in the middle of a war hadn't much allowed them to put focus toward their appearances. While Narcissa could appreciate that both men were just naturally attractive, fine robes and immaculate hair made Narcissa work to hold herself at bay. She wanted to caress Wes' trimmed beard, and run her fingers through Lucius' hair. Her foot set into a rhythmic bounce under the table as the two of them took a seat on either side of her.

"I take it Amelia hasn't arrived yet?" Lucius asked as he filled his plate.

"She could have set up in the drawing room without notice," Narcissa suggested when everyone else looked uncertain to answer.

They had all finished eating and were visiting (Helka pretended to understand, her eyes narrowed in quiet confusion) when the fireplace whooshed in the great room. Wes, seated to Narcissa's left, straightened first when Madam Bones leaned against the archway separating the great room and dining room. Behind her, the fireplace continued going as more people arrived. That made Narcissa slightly nervous, but Madam Bones' smile was warm enough to settle her.

"Morning, all," she greeted them in a crisp voice. "Are you ready to begin?"

Narcissa had merely been picking at her plate, full, so she nodded.

"I don't have a set schedule, nor did I come up with any particular order that I would like to conduct these debriefings in. I decided to bring in Narcissa first, so I'll ask Wesley, Lucius, Hildegard, and Dagmar to make sure you're readily available for when I ask for you."

Narcissa stood, nervous anew since she'd hoped to have some sort of idea what to expect before she sat down for this. She followed Madam Bones across the great room to the drawing room's ajar door. As they neared the turn in the hallway, Narcissa slowed.

"I didn't expect to be called in first," she said, making Madam Bones stop. "Would it be all right if I nipped into the toilet?"

"Sure."

There was a powder room between the drawing room and library. Narcissa hoped that the amount of tea she drank at breakfast—and might drink during the interview—wouldn't have her in and out all day. She went as quickly as she could and doubled back to the drawing room. A couple of what looked to be Aurors filed out with nods at her in passing. Madam Bones sat alone on the opposite side of the table. A tray full of empty vials sat to her left, and a tall stack of parchment to her right. More vial trays filled the end of the table closest to the door.

"If you wouldn't mind closing that." Madam Bones glanced up at Narcissa.

Narcissa did, then approached. "Quite the little operation you've set up."

"Yes." Madam Bones opened a box next to the parchment. The quill she brought out levitated where she left it in the air, quivering slightly over the parchment. "Let me explain how this will work, as I'm sure it looks slightly intimidating.

"The first thing you'll do is take some Veritaserum." Madam Bones leaned back in her seat, shoulders relaxed, as Narcissa took hers opposite. "Stymied as you are, no hope of thwarting it, I'm afraid. That's if you consent to the interview. Consider it like how Azkaban prisoners have the choice on whether or not to take Veritaserum prior to interrogation. You have the option, but I'll give you fair warning that backing out now will do you no favours when it comes to your Wizengamot trial."

"I consent." Narcissa crossed her legs. "I have nothing to hide."

"Perfect." Madam Bones flashed her a quick smile. "I will also be collecting memories, hence the vials. This Quotes-Quill will also preserve our every word spoken once we begin."

"All right." Narcissa accepted the ounce glass of clear liquid that slid across the table toward her. She drank it all in one quick go. A flicker of magic passed through before Narcissa's interior fell quiet again in that regard. "Where would you like me to begin?"