Thank you guys so much for the week off! It really helped my studying! Let's see… I got 3 A's, 2 B's, and a C… but that's P.E so I don't really care…
Chapter 6 And her name was Fruit
AgentM: NONONONONONONONONONONONONONO…!
HeadWorkerDude: You're majesty! It's so great for you to join us so soon!
AgentM: NONONONONONONONONONONONONONO…!
HeadWorkerDude: Um… you're grace? Is something wrong?
AgentM: NONONONOOOOO! I AM SOOOO DEEEEAD!
HeadWorkerDude: Um… uh… Bo'ba has certainly become an economically strong planet, the boba harvests are quite plentiful, and all is being shipped to Earth as we speak…
AgentM: I'M GONNA DIE! I'M GONNA DIE! I'M GONNA-!
HeadWorkerDude: Um? (hands her milk tea w/ boba)
AgentM: DIIIE-? (snatches drink)
HeadWorkerDude: …
AgentM: …
HeadWorkerDude: …
AgentM: …. … … … … … …mine.
HeadWorkerDude: Surely some fresh boba, Bo'ba grown, would sustain your ever busy mind!
AgentM: (slurp) Oh… (slurp) My… (slurp) ... SOOOOO GOOOOOD! (falls under spell)
HeadWorkerDude: I'm glad you enjoy it, ma'am!
AgentM: … … … gotanymore?
HeadWorkerDude: (opens big huge garage door revealing… what else? TONS O' BOBA!)
AgentM: Eek!
HeadWorkerDude: Well?
AgentM: OmigoshOmigoshOmigoshOmigoshOmigosh…!
HeadWorkerDude: You like?
AgentM: yesyesyesyesyesyesthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou…!
HeadWorkerDude: I am always in your service, ma'am! (bows and exits)
……………………………….
HeadWorkerDude: Your majesty?
AgentM: Yeah! This totally rocks, dude! I should be queen of a boba planet more often! (sips)
HeadWorkerDude: That's very good your highness. By the way… (stuffs druggy rag up her face)
AgentM: Mmrf-! Zzzzz… zzzzz….
………………………………..
AgentM: (wakes up) mmm… …ermmm… mmmm… … … … WOYA!
HeadWorkerDude: She's over here your majesty!
QueenofBo'ba: (looks like a crazy, blood-thirsty Asian warlord lady like in the movies that can kick butt and be very hot and poised at the same time) I can see that you little insect! Hello, AgentM.
AgentM: Hiya!
QueenofBo'ba: Might I ask why you are here… on my planet… and doing things like… Oh, I don't know… impersonating me?
AgentM: Huh? Oh yeah! That! Um, sorry? Um… and you are?
QueenofBo'ba: I DO NOT TOLLERATE SUCH INSOLENCE ON MY PLANET!
AgentM: WELL, SOOOORY, LADY! I COULD'NT HELP IT THAT YOUR BOBA IS SO DARN DELICIOUS! … …. … canIgetarefill?
QueenofBo'Ba: I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW THAT I AM A MIGHTY AND POWERFUL EMPRESS… EVEN HIGHER AND MORE EVIL THAN THE TAMARAN EMPRESS KOMAND'R BLACKFIRE!
AgentM: WHAT IS YOUR NAME?
QueenofBo'Ba: MY NAME IS FRUIT!
AgentM: WHY IS YOUR NAME FRUIT?
QueenofBo'ba: …oh… I don't know…
AgentM: What are your parents' names?
Fruit: Bob and Amy. My brother's name's George and my sister's name's Sally.
AgentM: Got a back-up name?
Fruit: Cheesepuffs…
AgentM: No thank you.
Fruit: No that's just it… Cheesepuffs…
AgentM: Oh. (mumbles) Makes me lucky to have only a one-letter name… (comes back) So, if your parents' names are Bob and Amy, and your siblings' names are George and Sally… and your name is Fruit and your back-up name is Cheesepuffs… … … why?
Fruit: Oh… um, I never really thought about it… I guess I just got a bad childhood…
AgentM: Yes, I do think so.
Fruit: (dries tears with hankie) Yes, I did have a bad childhood…
AgentM: That's okay, you can't let things like that affect you. You are your own person.
Fruit: Oh. I suppose your right.
AgentM: You must dig deep down inside of you and find your true person. Just forget about your past! You can't let it control you!
Fruit: You're right! You're most certainly right!
AgentM: … … … so… canIgetarefill?
Fruit: No.
AgentM: … … … so… can I leave?
Fruit: No.
AgentM: … … … so… what are you going to do with me?
Fruit: Sell you as a slave to the Gordonians.
AgentM: Ah! Yes. Okay. That's… that's usually what happens in cases like this…
Fruit: You are indeed well informed.
AgentM: So I'm told. Um, well, it was nice meeting you.
Fruit: Likewise.
AgentM: Maybe we can chat over an Almond Milk Tea sometime after I'm sold as a slave to the Gordonians?
Fruit: Yes. I would like that very much.
AgentM: Goodbye, Fruit!
Fruit: Good luck, AgentM!
…………………………………….
(in the Gordonian ship)
AgentM: …so…
GordonianGuard: (grunts)
AgentM: … …how much was I bought for?
GordonianGuard: ONE THOUSAND AND FIFTY NINE GRUBFARS!
AgentM: WOYA! How much is that?
GordonianGuard: In Earth currency? Um… about a dollar and twenty eight cents.
AgentM: Blast! The space-ship food was twenty bucks!
GordonianGuard: Just cease the talking, Earth freak!
AgentM: Why should I?
GordonianGuard: (zaps her)
AgentM: gzzAAAAG!
GordonianGuard: That's why.
AgentM: sssss sssss… can I have my lab top?
GordonianGuard: No.
AgentM: Whoa. So heartless!
GordonianGuard: (chuckles and blushes) Yeah...
(cell phone jingle)
GordonianGuard: Whoop! Hold on, that's mine! (takes out cell phone) Hello? Yes. Take the Earth freak out? It's time for her slave work/torture? Uh, huh. Yes? NO WAY! YES? OH No! HOLD ON! I-I'LL BE RIGHT THERE! (turns off cell phone)
AgentM: What? What happened?
GordonianGuard: M-My wife! She's having a baby!
AgentM: Omigosh! Congratulations!
GordonianGuard: Thanks! We have really been cherishing these past few months together!
AgentM: Girl or boy?
GordonianGuard: Twins! Twin girls!
AgentM: No way! Congratulations!
GordonianGuard: I know! I-I can't believe this is happening so soon!
AgentM: Well what are you waiting for? Go to her! Go to her, man!
GordonianGuard: Huh? Oh yeah, right! I gotta go help my honey! Uh, uh… Here! (throws AgentM the keys) Here's the keys! Do you mind unlocking yourself and finding your way to the torture cells yourself? I'm really sorry, but I-I-I-!
AgentM: No problem! You have an important thing to go to! Go on! Go on! I'll be fine!
GordonianGuard: Oh thank you! Thank you so much! I can't believe it! I'm a father! I'm a faaather! (runs off)
AgentM: Bye! Have a great day!
…………………………….
AgentM: Um, excuse me? I'm a little lost. Can you tell me which way's the torture cells?
GordonianGuard2: AgentM?
AgentM: Um, yes. That's me. I'm sorry, was it a left turn at the electrocuted fence or a right turn at the dungeon of various sharp objects?
GordonianGuard2: AgentM! We've been looking everywhere for you!
AgentM: Really?
GordonianGuard2: (flips off GordonianGuard2 mask)
AgentM: WHOA! P'ANKA'YKE?
P'anka'yke: Zol!
AgentM: What are you doing here?
P'anka'yke: We stowed in and dressed up like Gordonian Guards to bust you out, but we could not find you!
AgentM: Well, I am scheduled for my torture at the torture cells, but I guess that can wait.
P'anka'yke: Yes it can wait. Of course it can wait!
AgentM: Where's Cata'ryna?
P'anka'yke: She was disguised as a slave from Garlon Prime, but then she was called away and I could not find her! Something about birthing Gordonian baby twins…
AgentM: Well, we gotta go find her! And get out of here!
P'anka'yke: Of course! (hands her a weapon) Know anything about infiltrating alien bases and rescue?
AgentM: Of course I do! I've done it a hundred times on Halo 2!
P'anka'yke: All right! Let us do this!
……………………………………..
R&R
Slushie (tats me): (pops open apple cider) Whoo-ha! Celebration! Welcome to life, new baby Gordonian Twins.
GordonianGuard: Thank you very much for coming to my daughters' first birthday!
Slushie: No prob! (steals all the red eggs and leaves) MUAHAHAHA!