Ahh, all the suggestitons I've gotten. Thank you all, I don't know if I will use them or not (I had this pretty much planned out all the way before I started – rare for me, I know,) but I'll give you credit if I do.
SUPERFIC
So Inuyasha finally made his way into this sad excuse for fanfiction. I was afraid to even breach the subject of talking to him, and my friends seemed to be of the same persuasion. But, for some reason, the normally antisocial Inuyasha turned around and began talking to us.
"Hi, I'm Inuyasha. I've lived here my entire life, but I'm new to this school. I'm in a band with Kagome Higurashi, and we're punks! I'm also on the football team. I hate cheerleaders, but I used to date one. Her name was Kikyou. She's a nerd now. My older brother is a jerk, he used to beat me up when he got drunk. His name is Sesshomaru, and he's a model/idol/politician/doctor/actor/famous singer/talk show host! Now if you'll excuse me, it's 11 am and it's time for me to be Emo about how I'm a hanyou and no one loves me because I'm neither human nor demon. DON'T LOOK AT ME!"
And he turned around abruptly, whipped out a guitar (remember, this is the middle of third period chemistry) and started singing, in a whiney emo voice, that, for some reason, was suitable.
Half-breed, that's what they call me…
My brother's a jerk,
And my ex-girlfriend wants to kill me
They saaaaaaay…
Here the acoustic guitar magically transformed into an electric, with pedals and amps and… just about everything you need to rock. Inuyasha stood on top of his desk.
That I'm nothing special,
Well I, I don't need you!
I'm my own man
I'll show the world!
My life sucks
My life sucks
My life sucks…
And then, to the complete and utter bafflement of no one but the four of us, Inuyasha broke out into a punk-emo-rock version of "Change the World." In Japanese.
We all said silent prayers of thanks when the bell rang three minutes later. It was lunch time.
"After third period?" asked Shoko, puzzled.
"I stopped wondering after breakfast this morning," grumbled Sakura. "This universe isn't SUPPOSED to make sense."
"What's that supposed to mean?" asked Hez.
"My little brother," she grumbled.
"Sakura-nee-chan!" a voice bubbled over the crowding lines. We saw a short redhead and a golden ball of poof bobbling through the crowd.
"Is that… Shippo?" I squeaked, my voice cracking.
Sure enough, the little kitsune was stuck in this hell too. Except he was supposed to be a freshman. But he was the same size. Okay, maybe he was a little bigger, but STILL.
He glomped her about the waist. "I'm gonna go sit with Kagome and her friends, okay?"
"Uh yeah, sure…" and with that, the little fox tottered away and plonked himself down next to high school versions of Rin, Kohaku and Kanna.
"Wow… first that bit about Kurama, and now Shippo. I feel bad for you," Hez mumbled, staring dumbly at the scene in front of her.
"Eh… dame desu yo." I mumbled, putting a hand to my forehead. My friends all stared at me.
"Uh, Rei? You're the only one of us that actually knows Japanese," Shoko chided.
"Eh? Nihongo o hanasanai. Eigo o hanasu. Nani o iu?"
"Crap," grumbled Hez, "she's stuck speaking Japanese. And, per bad fanfiction rules, we wont' get any kind of translation until the end of the chapter.
"God knows when that'll be," affirmed Sakura.
"Nihongo o hanashi-tai-jaa arimasen!" I wailed, distraught by all that was going on.
Just then, a loud commanding voice rang through the crowd. "Move!" it commanded, and several bodies went flying through the air.
It was Kagura. A very, very pissed-off Kagura. Dressed exactly like she was in the show.
"You four," she pointed at us with her fan. "Come with me."
We obliged, relieved to see some semblance of in-characterness, as out of place as she might be.
Once we were in a semi-isolated area, she whirled around to face us. "You have GOT to get me out of here. This is way worse than anything Naraku could have done to me when I was alive!"
There was a pregnant pause, until Sakura finally spoke up. "You mean, you're dead? Like, Naraku gave you back your heart, but it was filled with miasma so you flew away to a field and started dying, but then Sesshomaru came along and you were able to die happy because you saw him one last time, and then became the free wind?"
Kagura blinked. "I have no idea how you know that, but yes."
Shoko spoke up next. "So, we're like, in anime hell?" Four pairs of eyes bore into her. "Right, how stupid of me. I'll stop stating the obvious now."
"Ano… ano…" I stammered.
"What's wrong with her?" Kagura asked, nodding towards me.
"Atashi?" I asked, pointing at myself.
"She's stuck speaking Japanese that no one but her understands," offered Sakura.
The wind sorceress snorted. "At least she's not stuck using bad grammar, or worse, 1337. Try talking like that for three months and see how you feel."
"Sankagetsu!" I shrieked.
SUERFIC
Hez: Rei, don't talk until the end of the ch- WHOA, where the hell are we now?
Shoko:… the school disappeared.
Kagura: Yeah, this happens randomly.
Yahou! Hi minna! Another chapter finished! You know what to do!
Rei: Holy crap, disembodied voice! Hide m- hey, I can speak English again!
Sakura: Rei, I think the disembodied voice is the author.
…
…
Rei: YOU! YOU ARE GONNA PAY!
Anymoo, I'm glad everyone likes this fic! What'll happen in the next chapter, ne? Oooh, I get to torture the characters some more! Hee hee hee! I'm so evul!
Shoko: I think she's ignoring us.
Hez: Figures.
Japanese words:
Dame desu yo: that's bad
Nihongo hanasanai: I'm not speaking Japanese
Eigo hanashu: I'm speaking enlgihs
Nihongo hanashi-tai-jaa arimasen: I don't' wanna speak Japanese.
Rei: Wow, at least my Japanese was grammatically correct.
Kagura: Think about where we are for a minute.
Rei: Oh, right.