Everyone

I'm glad I'm not the only one out there who feels this way!

This is for those who are still reading my stories, two years after I first made my mark on FFN. Thanks for sticking with me, you know who you are!

SUPERFIC

The four girls sat in my bedroom (my REAL one, with the posters) and panicked. Full-out, freaking-out panicked.

"H-human!" stammered one, shaking brown pigtails out of her eyes, and feeling her round, pink ears.

"CRAPPISH HELL!" screamed another, pointing at a large Inuyasha poster on the wall. "That's… THAT'S KOUGA!"

"Why is he wearing a miniskirt?" asked a third, narrowing her once-red eyes.

"Who cares, so long as we never have to see it. Right, Rei?" said the fourth, turning to the second.

"Damn straight!"

-:-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-

Using my newfound hanyou leg strength, I prepared a huge jump to try and retrieve Betsey from the rafters. Betsey, the Fanfiction Flamethrower. Oh, Betsey was our ticket out of here, for sure!

I jumped, and was surprised even at myself as I rocketed through the air. Six feet… five feet… four…

And when I was two feet away, Betsey vanished before my eyes. I face-faulted midair, and crashed into the floor.

"Someone is going to PAY," hissed Hez, red eyes glowing angrily. A sibilant hiss began to come from her throat, and the rest of us backed away. Hez… well, Hez could be really, REALLY scary if she wanted to be.

"K… kowaii…" gasped Shoko, before I smacked her upside the head with a notebook.

"NO. No more random Japanese."

Shoko grumbled something as she moved to the other side of Sakura, rubbing her head.

And then I felt IT. Something was inside my body moving my limbs when I hadn't given any commands.

I walked over to the door, all the while screaming inside my head that I hadn't told my legs to move.

"Hey guys, there's something behind this door!" I said. Wait, I hadn't said that! Yes, the words came out of my mouth, but I hadn't thought them beforehand!

"Ooh, really?" squeaked Hez, running over. I looked at her. She was furious, and I knew why. If there are two things Hez never does, it's squeak or run. There was also the small glimmer of panic in her eyes, suggesting that the forces of Out-of-Character were now acting upon us.

"A button!" yelled Sakura, her eyes wide with panic, also obviously not in control of her body. "Push it, Rei! Push it!"

And without warning, my hand zoomed towards the button. Every fiber of my being screamed "BAD IDEA! BAD IDEA!" but I was powerless. The button was pushed, and in a blinding flash of light IT vanished, and was replaced with a much, MUCH greater sense of "ohcrapwhatnow."

"I should not have to do this. Never. Three body switches in one day is too much, and I know that's what just happened because I've read too much fanfiction." I was grumbling to myself again, but I really didn't care at this point. I knew I was gonna have to force my eyes open to see what the damage was, but I wasn't ready. So I thought I'd listen to myself talk some more, or see how the others were doing.

"Shoko? Sakura? Hez? What's the damage?" I called.

"Haven't opened my eyes, don't really know!" came the reply from who I guessed was Sakura, but she sounded different.

Really different.

"Are you okay, Sakura?" I called back, but my voice sounded weird too. It wasn't resonating in my ears and chest correctly. It was too deep.

Shi-i-i-i-i-t…

Sure enough, when I reached a hand up to examine my chest, Left and Right simply weren't there.

All that OOC torture just to put us in a gender-bender. Yeah, Author from Hell was going to DIE once I got out of here. And the death would be long, slow and involve lots and lots of pointy objects. And I was going to enjoy every minute of it.

"Whadd'ya mean am I okay? Rei, you sound like you swallowed a bucket of nails!"

"Sakura! I'm not sick! We're in a gender bender!"

There was a pause as that information sunk in, then a loud "SHIT!" from Hez. She sounded remarkably like herself.

Then Shoko spoke. And believe me, when I say Shoko, I mean that as a guy, she had a really, REALLY deep voice. "Um, this isn't a gender bender, everyone."

And at that point I decided to open my eyes.

And let me tell you, all the dirty words in the universe couldn't possibly begin to cover the sight that greeted me.

(AN: OOH! CLIFFIE! HAHAA!

Enter Rei the Yorozoku (in the guise of Rei the human): Like hell it is!

AN: Never mind)

The first opening of my eyes wasn't too bad. I was already mentally prepared (well, as well as one can be for finding she's magically switched sexes in under a minute) for the flat expanse that greeted me. The black hair in my eyes didn't surprise me too much either (though I did wonder if my hair was ever going to return to its normal brown). Even the bulge in my pants didn't disturb me all that much (we'd cross that bridge when we got there, I thought with a shudder).

Thinking everything wasn't as bad as it could be, I raised my eyes to see what my girlfriends-turned-guyfriends looked like.

And I almost fell over.

Oooh, Shoko hadn't lied when she said this wasn't a gender bender, no siree. Because sitting in front of me were Miroku, Jakotsu and Suikotsu.

There were startled stammerings somewhere along the lines of "fugubbahguh.. (point) … gubbagagghuh…(more pointing)" from all four of us. Apparently, being the veteran fanfic users we were, we'd all been afraid to open our eyes. Hey, blinding flashes are DANGEROUS STUFF! Can you blame us?

Finally, Miroku managed to squeak out, "Who am I right now?"

Playing "match-the-voice", I guessed this was Sakura. "Sakura?" I asked, blinking. Miroku nodded, the black ponytail bobbing up and down.

Suikotsu and Jakotsu, along with me, held up their hands in a pacifying manner. "Whatever you do, DON'T PANIC," Suikotsu offered. Ah, this must be Shoko. The deep voice just didn't fit, for some reason.

"Just tell me who I am!" Sakura in Miroku's body shouted, grabbing Shoko in Suikotsu's body by the collar of her… his… damnit, this was confusing… shirt.

Avoiding her eyes, I stammered out "Miroku" and duck-and-covered for the violent reaction we all were expecting. Sakura had been mad enough to discover her brother was Kurama, but being stuck in the body of her favorite bishie of all time was going to scar her (and the rest of us) for life.

Instead she sat there for a moment, horrified, then laughed. "It could be worse!" she said between chuckles. "I could be Renkotsu!"

"Actually, that might be more fitting," said Jakotsu, who, by process of elimination, had to be Hez. "I mean, since the rest of us are Shichinintai members."

That one stopped me. Rest of us? That meant I had to be…

When the gears started turning in my head again, the truth dawned on me. Black hair that seemed pretty long, still the shortest in my group, and the good build could only mean one thing.

I was in Bankotsu's body.

And then my sanity fell apart.

SUPERFIC

I hate body-switch stories. Always have, and the idea of switching bodies with someone else freaks me out. REALLY freaks me out.

I'm doing this for you.

So allow me to disclaim this: I never, ever would chose to switch bodies with one of the Inuyasha characters. NEVER. If I wanted personal, intimate time with their bodies vicariously through fan fiction, I'd write hot, steamy lemons. Not body-swtichers.

Don't worry, this is still an Inuyasha story. And yes, I'm going to end it soon. Just wait for the next chapter.