Tsuchiya had never been afraid to leave when she had to.
"Mukai, leave that alone and come here." Said Tsuchiya as she heard Mukai playing with a suitcase zipper. She was nearly done packing. She hadn't packed herself up in a while, the President had people who did that for them. They didn't always do a good job…but probably one better than she could do. Her hands were still shaking…they'd been shaking all night.
They'd stop shaking once she got back to Seasoning City…back home.
"No! No packing! No leaving!" shouted Mukai. Tsuchiya didn't turn around. She knew better. Right now Mukai wanted attention. That was the last thing that Tsuchiya was going to give her. The more attention she gave Mukai the more she'd yell and scream…Tsuchiya didn't need that right now.
She was too tired…much too tired.
Mukai kept up her screaming. She never used to scream like this, not since she'd been a baby and it had been the only way she could communicate. Tsuchiya never gave into it, not when she started talking, not when she started being able to understand…as much as she could. There was no understanding this. She was too young to understand all of this.
Tsuchiya didn't even understand.
She didn't understand how she could have been so stupid. Shimazaki…of course. She knew his history. She knew the parts of it he chose to share, which were terrible, and she didn't know what he kept to himself…and she didn't want to know! What she knew now…it was bone chilling. She didn't know how she could have trusted her daughter with him. Not when…she had suspected. She had suspected and so had everyone else but…but eventually everything she suspected just began to look so normal…
Nothing was normal here.
"You hear me! No packing and no leaving!" shouted Mukai as loud as she could. There was a burst of power, there, and Tsuchiya's suitcase fell off the bed. It turned onto it's side and spilled it's contents all over the floor…now she would have to start again. She had nearly gotten done. She had nearly been done…a whole night of arguing. Panicking. Crying. Dealing with Mukai….dealing with everyone…
Dealing with herself.
"Mukai, that wasn't very nice. Now come here and help Mama pick this up." Said Tsuchiya. There was another burst of power and her suitcase tipped over…she didn't know how she was supposed to feel about that. She shouldn't have been using her powers like that, mainly because she shouldn't have had powers like that at her age. Sure she'd been strong but she hadn't been able to pool her qi like she could now. She hadn't been able to punch holes through the walls at three, to lift grown adults over her head, to…well to do everything she could do now. She had no idea what her parents would have done if she'd been this strong at three.
Tsuchiya had no idea what she was supposed to do with a telekinetic three year old.
A kick to the back of her leg. She knew what to do with that. She turned around and picked Mukai up. She could teach Mukai not to fight unless she had to. The yelling and screaming she could ignore. Her own parents would have made her kneel on the stone floor for that one. She wasn't going to treat Mukai like that. She was…she wasn't going to do as her parents had done…but she had no idea what she was supposed to do in it's place!
It wasn't like they wrote books about what to do when your telekinetic three year old threw a temper tantrum.
"Mama! Put me down!" said Mukai as she tried to kick free. She was strong but Tsuchiya was stronger.
"Mukai, no. You do not kick, do you hear me?" asked Tsuchiya
"Yes! Yes I do kick!" shouted Mukai
"No, no you don't. You know that's mean." Said Tsuchiya
"I have to kick you! You're being bad! No leaving! Shigeko not here!" shouted Mukai. Tsuchiya put her down on the bed. She had to explain…she had no idea how to explain this. They didn't exactly have books telling you how to explain to your three year old that her older sister had slept with a grown man and now for her own good you had to leave right this second before…before the unthinkable happened again.
"Shigeko…she isn't coming with us, Mukai. Remember? Shigeko had to go somewhere else? We're going and she's staying. She won't be following us." Said Tsuchiya in her most patient voice. She could feel her qi starting to pool. She had to calm down. That…she didn't even have words for Shimazaki. Nothing that she could think in front of her daughter. With her luck Mukai was telepathic….
That would have been easier to deal with.
"No! We wait for Shigeko! We wait right here!" said Mukai. She crossed her arms and nodded to herself. Tsuchiya sighed.
"Mukai…this is a trip just for us. Ok? Just you and me and Hiroshi." Said Tsuchiya. The floor began to shake. She wondered if he could sense when he had been mentioned. She knew that Shimazaki could…she had to stop thinking about him. She had to make sure not to think about him or mention him in case he came back. She had no idea where he'd gone to after the whole debacle….she knew he came back to get his punishment from the president but after that…well after that she had no clue where he was now and she didn't care.
She hoped he was rotting somewhere.
"And Sho and Mine and Shigeko and Seri and Hatori and Ryou and Caterpillars-" said Mukai
"No….no. It's just us. Everyone else has…they have work to do. You know how everyone has jobs, right? Well…well we have our own job and that means that we have to go to-" said Tsuchiya
"No! We don't have to go! We don't go anywhere!" shouted Mukai. She uncrossed her arms and started jumping on the bed. Tsuchiya ran a hand through her hair and sighed. She just…she needed space. She needed space to think. She needed…the floor shook again. There was a burst of power, purple this time, and then some shouting. There was some static coming from her phone….then more shouting…
So much shouting.
Noise. There was too much noise here….too much going on. Serizawa was upset again, she could sense it. He'd been upset on and off since Shigeko left. Hatori had been curing up a storm last night. Something to do with Fukuda and the president and someone being a moron. Hiroshi had been doing his best to help but he was no Shigeko…and it shouldn't have been on Shigeko to manage everyone like that! She was just a kid!
Just a kid….
"No Mama! We don't go! We stay here! We stay here with-" said Mukai
"Mukai! No more! We're-" said Tsuchiya. She had never raised her voice to Mukai before, not like this. She sounded like her mother. She sounded like her father. She sounded like…she sounded like she needed to take a step back and reassess this situation. Herself. She needed…she needed to take a long look at herself.
Even if she knew that she wasn't going to like what she saw.
"Mukai, why don't you come here. Serizawa needs a player two and Hatori's….well he's in a bad mood." Said Hiroshi. The floor shook as he crossed the room. She didn't have to turn and see it was him. She didn't have to take a long look at him…she had to look at herself. She had to…she had to stop this. She had yelled at her daughter. Mukai hadn't done anything that wasn't normal for a three year old. She was…she was the one who had put Mukai in danger…maybe she deserved to be yelled at…maybe…maybe she deserver this and a lot more.
This was her fault. All of it.
"Don't want to be player two…want to go to Shigeko….want to go to Sho…want to go to Panda….want to go to Disneyland….want to go to the airplane…" muttered Mukai as she shook her head. The floor groaned again. A shadow was cast over her. There was an arm in her peripheral vision…she took a step to the side.
Someone else could take over.
"How about we take an airplane ride right here?" asked Hiroshi as he picked Mukai up. The sound of her shouting was replaced by the sound of her laughter. It soothed Tsuchiya's headache…to a point. She sat down on the bed and watched all of Mukai's troubles fly away. It helped…to a point. There was no way to forget. There was no way to…to reconcile what she had done…
Or hadn't done.
She should have been there for Shigeko. She should have done more. She should have acted on what she suspected. She should have said something, she shouldn't have let herself get complacent. She shouldn't have let this place get to her…this group. The place had nothing to do with it. This group…everyone together….they all fed into one another until it was impossible to remember what was and was not normal. This place became normal and…and there was nothing normal about this place!
She had to get out of here.
"I'm an airplane! I'm the airplane!" shouted Mukai as Hiroshi put her down. She held her arms out sideways and ran away, the whole time shouting about how she could fly. Happy. Happy shouting. Good. At least one of them was happy here….but she had no reason to be unhappy. She was only three. She had no way of knowing what had happened….
She didn't know what she was supposed to tell Mukai…now or when she was old enough to understand what had happened.
"Go on, air Mukai!" said Hiroshi with a laugh. A forced one. She knew what it sounded like when he was actually happy…when he actually had something to laugh at. She had no idea when they were going to be able to laugh again. She had no idea about anything. It was like the whole world had turned inside out and upside down. Like the bed was on the ceiling and the lamp was on the floor and Mukai was…a boat?
Whatever the opposite of an airplane was. She didn't know. She couldn't think.
"She's…it's nice to hear her laughing again." Said Hiroshi as he sat down on the bed beside her.
"At least someone around here is laughing." Said Tsuchiya. Hiroshi put an arm around her. She could feel his qi in his arms…his entire body. He didn't know how to pool it the same way she could. His parents hadn't taught him…she shouldn't have been comparing herself to his parents or anyone else's. She knew where her mind was going. At least she hadn't been his parents. At least she hadn't been her own parents. At least she hadn't done the same number on Mukai as…as the President had done with his own kids.
Father of the year right there.
Tsuchiya could feel herself scowling. That man…he wasn't fit to call himself anyone's father. He had let this happen. He knew his own people better than anyone else. He knew the danger that Shigeko had been in. He knew…he knew what had happened. He should have seen this coming and…and he should have knocked some sense into Shimazaki before this. Or knocked him off the face of the Earth. She had no idea how he could have…how he could have let this happen to his own daughter….
He wasn't fit to be Shigeko's father…he wasn't fit to be anyone's father.
"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have picked her up without asking, especially after-" said Hiroshi
"No, no, it's not you. I trust you. I know that I can trust you. I know…you're a good person. That wasn't about you." Said Tsuchiya
"You don't have to say that-" said Hiroshi
"I know that I don't have to say it, I mean it. You…you know you're a better father…father figure to her than her own Dad…than the President." Said Tsuchiya softly. There was some silence, now, a heavy sort of silence. She should have kept her mouth shut. She knew what she wanted with Hiroshi and she knew what he wanted…she thought that she knew. She knew that he had wanted his own family. She knew that he loved Mukai…but she knew that she may have been overstepping. She knew that she may have been just…trying to grasp at something good through all of this….she didn't even want to think the word.
"Thank you…if that's…if that's who you want me to be. I don't know if I can be, I didn't…I let this happen to Mob. I thought that…I don't know what I thought. I guess that I wanted to think that everything was ok. I should have known that it wasn't. I should have…I should have kicked Shimazaki's ass when I had the chance." Said Hiroshi
"The President." Said Tsuchiya
"He's still alive. Hatori said something about a heart attack-" said Shibata
"No, I mean that you should have kicked the President's ass when you had the chance…or maybe I should have." Said Tsuchiya. Traitor talk. The kind of thing that people landed in traitor holes for saying. The kind of thing that people…well she didn't know what happened beyond the traitor holes….and she didn't want to know…
She should have kept her mouth shut.
Hiroshi looked around, panic in his eyes. She didn't know who would be listening…who besides Hatori. She didn't know if the rumors were true or not, she suspected 'not' but the President had already abandoned one child, but she did know that Hatori was close with the President. Closer than anyone else barring Fukuda…she didn't need anything getting back to him.
Even if he needed to hear it.
"Tsuchiya, don't. He's…he's not in a good mood. I mean he's never in a good mood but now….well he just had a heart attack and this thing with Mob and Hatori's been saying some crazy stuff about Fukuda and the President's ex-wife…he's not in a good mood right now. I didn't even talk to him about us leaving yet." Said Hiroshi
"I'm not talking to him, I'm just leaving. I'm not defecting I'm just…I'm just reassigning myself. It's not like he really needs me, or you for that matter. The kids don't need us…they don't need me." Said Tsuchiya
"They…they need us. They need me. I'm supposed to keep them safe-" said Shibata
"They need their father. The only problem is he doesn't know how to be a father and doesn't care to know how to be one. Shigeko…he should have kept her safe. He should have kept her safe and he should have stopped Shimazaki and…and we should have been there too! We should have been there for them but we aren't their parents and….and Mukai deserves better than this. Mukai…he doesn't even want to be her father. He doesn't treat her like a daughter, he treats her like a pet…or a doll…or….I don't know. He isn't going to have the chance to treat her like anything, I'm just….I'm leaving. I've made up my mind." Said Tsuchiya. Hiroshi decided to do his best goldfish impression. He opened his mouth, closed it, and then opened it again. She wished that he would have just said whatever it was that he was planning on saying…even if she got the feeling that it was something that she didn't want to hear.
"Tsuchiya….I want to go too but…but we need to tell him, we need to ask him…and we need to wait until he's in a better mood-" said Hiroshi
"Screw that! Screw…fuck him! I don't care what kind of mood he's in. I have to take care of Mukai. I'm her mother-" said Tsuchiya
"And he's her father. Tsuchiya…he isn't going to let her go. He isn't…he isn't going to…we have to wait. Last night we were all upset-" said Hiroshi. She pushed his arm off. She couldn't touch him right now. What was he even saying!? What…she didn't know him right now. She didn't know…she didn't know what in the hell was going through his head. The President was…he was the President. He was strong. He was powerful. He was the one running this crazy house. Well she was Mukai's mother and she had to do what was best for her daughter.
"I'm still upset and you should be too. I can't believe….I can't believe you right now…and I have to go. If you won't talk to him I will…but I won't be asking permission." Said Tsuchiya as she got up. She couldn't hear this right now. She couldn't deal with this right now. She had been up all night. She had been packing, unpacking, and repacking since all of this had started…she had dealt with an angry toddler….
She could deal with the President.
She had no choice. If they fought then they fought. If he said no then…then she…she couldn't lose her nerve now. She had to hold onto her nerve. She had to make her way to the President…each step brought her closer…she wasn't afraid. She passed Mukai on her way out. She had gone from being an airplane to being in a pots and pans band….Mukai needed her mother.
And she didn't need her father.
She didn't need the President. None of the kids did. None of the kids….Shigeko especially…but Sho. The minute she opened the President's door she could hear Sho carrying on. He was slamming doors and shouting…there had been too much shouting…she'd help him out later. She'd talk to him…did he even know what was happening? Was he even old enough to understand? He was twelve and a half…half a year separated him and Shigeko. He had been a premature, it was obvious even if you didn't know when his birthday was, he had a lot of trouble with…with everything. Could he even comprehend what had happened to his sister? Had anyone tried to explain it? Could it even be explained to him?
Something else that fell to Tsuchiya.
"President Suzuki? There's something I need to talk to you about." Said Tsuchiya as she made her way through the house. He wasn't on the ground floor…what was left of it. It looked like a bomb had gone off. That was what it had felt like last night…one man had done all of this…and when he had been near death, too, if Hatori was to be believed.
Apparently he had been near death.
The thought of the President dying…there was come comfort in that. She knew that she shouldn't have gotten any comfort from it at all, there were few things in this world worse than wishing death on someone, but…but he wasn't invincible. He had felt invincible when they'd fought…Tsuchiya felt her scar. She hadn't even been able to land a single hit on him. She hadn't been able to touch him…and he hadn't even lifted a finger…but he wasn't invincible.
He was just as human as everyone else.
She could see him as she got to the top of the stairs. The door to his room was opened. He was sitting on his bed surrounded by clothes and an opened suitcase. She could see his aura…and his brows were furled. He was hunched over his phone….she felt for hers. Shigeko hadn't gotten back to her. Minegishi had and said that everything was fine…but she had wanted to hear it from Shigeko. Nobody had heard anything from Shigeko….
Nobody but…but maybe her father.
Because he was still her father even after all of this. Maybe…maybe he was concerned. Maybe he had been up all night worried about her…he sure looked it. She took a step closer. He had dark circles under his eyes, the same ones that everyone else did. She…she should have known better…but there was a part of her that wanted him to care. That wanted to believe that he gave a damn about his children's wellbeing…..
She should have known better.
She knocked on the side of the doorframe. This was highly irregular. This was…she had no idea what she was supposed to do here. It was one thing to…in her mind it was one thing to storm in and confront him, he was just as human as she was after all…but being close to him, seeing him, feeling his aura…he may have been human but he wasn't the same as everyone else. He was…he was something else entirely.
And she was just herself.
"President Suzuki? Sir?" asked Tsuchiya. She knocked a little louder and for a little longer, long enough to get him to practically jump off of the bed. The suitcase that had been beside him went tumbling down to the ground. His phone followed it. He stood up and popped a pair of earplugs out of his ears.
He looked terrible.
His shirt was untucked. His tie was loose. His hair wasn't combed…that was one hell of a bedhead. He had five o'clock shadow…his beard, the beginning of it, was a lot redder than his hair. She had seen him first thing in the morning before…but this was different. She wondered if it counted as first thing in the morning if he had clearly been up all night…he was so pale…she could see his veins clearly through his skin….
He was still terrifying, though, and he would never stop being terrifying…even if he did look like a complete and total mess.
"You, you know how to fold clothing, correct?" asked President Suzuki. Tsuchiya nodded slowly. That was…not what she had been expecting. In her mind there had been this grand confrontation where she laid out all of his failures as a father out in front of him and left him to pick up the pieces of his shattered sense of self…she had been up all night. She was just as stressed as everyone else. She hadn't been thinking…though she had no idea that he would have just…just opened with this.
But, yes, she did know how to fold clothing.
"I do…but that's not what-" said Tsuchiya
"Fold my clothing, preferably in the way that Shigeko does but at this point anything will do." Said President Suzuki. Tsuchiya stepped into his room…she did not want to fold his clothes. That wasn't anywhere near her job description and…and that wasn't what she had come here to do! But she had no choice. She could feel his aura…she could see it. She had seen the destruction downstairs. She had no idea how one man's powers could have possibly been so immense…and she knew that even at her best, which she wasn't anywhere near right now, she couldn't have taken him….
So she did as he asked.
She walked further into his room and took one of his shirts in her hands. Shigeko normally did this…she had no idea how Shigeko folded his clothes. Tsuchiya had her own clothes that needed folding. She had been packing and unpacking all night…she had been thinking about leaving…and then thinking about staying…she had no rights to the other two Suzuki kids. She wasn't their mother and they didn't want her to be. They had their own mother…a mother who had left. What sort of woman could have left two children with a man like President Suzuki? Well…the sort of woman who would have been married to him. She had no desire to be the new Missus Suzuki…she only had rights to Mukai. She was Mukai's mother and…and she had to put her first.
Someone had to act like a parent here and that person was hers.
"President Suzuki? This actually isn't what I came here to talk to you about." Said Tsuchiya
"What is there to talk about? You're folding clothes." Said President Suzuki
"Shigeko." Said Tsuchiya
"I…do not wish to discuss my daughter at this time. She is safe. She and Minegishi are taking a sabbatical. They're being wrapped in seaweed, buried in mud, and hit with hot rocks…and they're paying good money for this…" said President Suzuki. Tsuchiya blinked. Well that was better than what she had been imagining. She knew that if she had been in Shigeko's position at thirteen she would have been crying her eyes out somewhere. Someone who Shigeko had trusted, had called a friend, had betrayed her in the worst way imaginable and from the sound of it she and Minegishi were out having a spa day.
She sounded like she was doing well…but that made no sense.
"How's…how's she doing?" asked Tsuchiya. There must have been something more to it, what she was feeling, what she was doing. She must have been torn up. She must have been asking herself over and over again how this could have happened to her. She had trusted him. She had called him a friend. She had…everyone had trusted Shimazaki and this was what he went and did. He went and took advantage of Shigeko, of someone so small and young and naïve and kindhearted…he just took advantage of her like it was nothing….
It was unforgivable.
"I just told you that she's fine. She's with Minegishi and she's fine, now get to folding. I don't wish to talk about her and I don't have the time. I'm needed elsewhere." Said President Suzuki. Elsewhere…elsewhere!? Tsuchiya nearly tears the sleeve off of one of the President's shirts. He was needed elsewhere? What in the hell did that mean? Where in the world was more important than with his own daughter? Sure he'd punished Shimazaki, beaten him half to death, but that didn't fix what had happened. Shigeko had been taken advantage of. She'd….it was a big thing, the first time you did…anything….and it had been taken from her. Ruined. This was going to follow her for the rest of her life. She wasn't going to forget this. She wasn't ever…she needed her mother. She needed her mother but she didn't have one of those….and Tsuchiya wasn't anywhere close to being her mother. The closest thing she had to a mother was Minegishi and they….they had made plenty of excuses for Shimazaki in the past…
Minegishi was still the best she had.
Shigeko didn't have a mother and her father was worse than useless. Something had called him away. Something had been more important than his own child. Shigeko needed him. She may not have had a mother but she did have a father and right now she must have been so scared and confused. She was only thirteen. Whether she wanted to admit it or not, whether the rest of the world wanted to admit it or not, she was just a child…a child put in an impossible position. She was mother to her brother and Tsuchiya didn't even know what to her father. She was thirteen living like she was thirty. She wasn't ready for any of this…she needed someone to keep her safe…
And the one person who's job it was to keep her safe was needed elsewhere.
"That's…that's something else that I wanted to talk to you about. I'd like to be reassigned to the Seventh Division…Hiroshi and I, I mean Shibata and I." said Tsuchiya. She kept calm and kept on folding. She needed out. Once she got Mukai out then she could figure something out for the rest of the kids. Sho…he didn't seem to care about Sho at all and Shigeko…he had just proven that she was not even on his list of priorities.
"Ask Shigeko, she's the one who brought you on in the first place." Said President Suzuki
"That's…that's it? We just ask her and then we can leave?" asked Tsuchiya. That was easier than she had thought. That was…this was happening. She could go back. They could go back to normal and-
"Yes. I don't see what's so complicated about that." Said President Suzuki
"That's-" said Tsuchiya
"Leave Mukai with Sho for the time being, I have no idea when Shigeko will be returning." Said President Suzuki
"President…Mukai's coming with me. I'm her mother." Said Tsuchiya. Of course the other shoe had to drop. She didn't know why she had thought that it would be easy, nothing was ever easy in Claw. Well there was no way that he was keeping Mukai. She shuddered to think of what Mukai would grow up to be…she knew what Mukai would grow up to be. She'd end up just like Shigeko.
She loved Shigeko but…but she didn't want Mukai to go down that road.
"Not by blood." Said President Suzuki
"No…but that doesn't make her any less my daughter. I'm not just going to abandon her." Said Tsuchiya. There's a dangerous sort of emphasis on the word 'abandoned'. One which she knows will put her on thin ice. The President said nothing about that tone, either not noticing or not caring.
"You would not be abandoning her. She belongs here with her family. I am her father." Said President Suzuki
"You weren't always." Said Tsuchiya
"Watch yourself. I am in no mood to get into any kind of conflict with you…and I was always her father. Even if I wasn't always there I have always been her father." Said President Suzuki
"Like you've been Shigeko's." said Tsuchiya, that same dangerous tone in her voice. The President may have noticed it that time. He reached over with his powers and took the shirt from her hand. He stuffed it into his suitcase and closed it.
"There. Done. You may leave now. This conversation is over." Said President Suzuki. They were about the same height, and if it came down to a purely physical fight she knew that she would win, but she was smart enough to know that it wouldn't come down to a purely physical fight. She would, of course, lose the moment he used his powers…there was no winning against this man…no chance of it.
"President Suzuki, I have to take Mukai with me. She needs me, she needs her mother, she needs-" said Tsuchiya
"Her siblings need her and she needs her siblings…she needs Shigeko. She needs her sister." Said President Suzuki
"And her father, too, I guess." Said Tsuchiya lowly.
"She does…she needs me, but she needs Shigeko as well. One person cannot be everything. Everyone has their limits." Said President Suzuki. Tsuchiya had never heard that tone from him. She had never seen him like this. His eyes were downcast and his voice was low…she had no idea what to do with this version of President Suzuki. She had never spoken to him for this long before. Was this what he was like? What this what the real President Suzuki was like?
She had no idea…and she didn't want to know.
"Yeah…we do. Excuse me." Said Tsuchiya. She had her limits and she was reaching them. She had been taught, it had been etched into her, not to start fights. She had to fight only when she had to. A lesson taught well by mom and dad…a lesson that she was grateful for. She couldn't fight President Suzuki even though…even though she wanted to…
Even though he deserved it.
Sho had finished slamming doors. Now he was just shouting. President Suzuki didn't seem to notice or care. He didn't care about any of his kids it seemed…not even Mukai. He just thought that he did. He treated her like a doll or a pet. He clearly had no interest in raising her….and Tsuchiya couldn't leave her daughter alone with President Suzuki. She couldn't let Mukai turn out like Shigeko…she had to protect her daughter…
Tsuchiya couldn't go anywhere….she couldn't leave Mukai.